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    Just Out of Your Ground
    Just Out of Your Ground
    Just Out of Your Ground
    Ebook180 pages1 hour

    Just Out of Your Ground

    By Bill Reed

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    About this ebook

    This is a rollicking play about one of the founding and/or foundling fathers of Western Australia... Thomas Peel, first cousin of the then British Prime Minister. He was the leader of the first organized group of settlers, but from the moment he arrived on western shores, he became, as it were, rooted to the spot, utterly unable to marshal himself to provide the leadership and employment to his hundreds of artisans, labourers and families. Indeed, for one whole paralyzing year, he couldn’t even move himself from the beach he landed on, even while the others were suffering from starvation, scurvy, dysentery and exposure.
    Finally, his people had to desert him as quite mad, and this included his own wife and daughter who saddled him with his dreaded mother-in-law and his wife’s love child. Still, even these two weren’t terrifying enough to push him off his beach and towards the dark heart of the then Australian interior... that physical opponent in which lineage allows for no special treatment and all better take the zinc cream with them. In that desolation, there weren’t even cricket practise pitches awaiting you.
    For thirty-six years, old Peel stood a lonely, haughty and solitary figure blinded to his failings. If that wasn’t enough, in old age, he was hauled before the magistrate for some decrepit and unspecified sexual misconduct against his haggard housekeeper. But, even regarding her, the rumour mill had as against his mother-in-law. Even today, his commemorative headstone has him buried on top of her in the same grave. Hopefully jokingly, or else this play should be a tragedy.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBill Reed
    Release dateMay 22, 2017
    ISBN9780995395770
    Just Out of Your Ground

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      Book preview

      Just Out of Your Ground - Bill Reed

      First published by Reed Independent, Melbourne, Australia 2017

      This is the Smashwords edition

      Available from Smashwords.com. Also available from most major book retail chains and online retail outlets worldwide as:

      9780995395763 (paperback)

      9780995395770 (ebook)

      This rewrite copyright 2017. First iteration copyright 1975.

      National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

      Author: Reed, Bill

      Title: Just Out of Your Ground

      ISBN: 9780995395763 (paperback)

      9780995395770 (ebook)

      Subjects: Peel, Thomas, 1793-1865

      Swan River Colony

      Western Australia

      Dewey No.: 821.33

      Dedication

      for Gill Mennell and the sharing of her keepsakes

      Contents

      The Characters

      Act 1

      Act 2

      Act 3

      After the final curtain…

      First showings

      Also by Bill Reed

      About the author

      The Characters

      THOMAS PEEL

      Aristocratic leader of the first organized settlement; a klutz at organizing; a clutcher at straws. Hardly able to get off the beach – struck dead-stuck, emotionally and physically. As alive as, yes, a piano. Deserted by friend, relative and foe alike, save for his mother-in-law of nearly 30 years, if he ever dared count, which he didn’t. and just had to lampoon himself towards the end by finally reaching out… and what happened?; he groped the wrong thing. Poor 12th man, he just got caught out of his ground.

      MRS AYRTON

      His mother-in-law, and a classic one at that. She would not be for gagging and bounding that which cried out for gagging and bounding. Her own woman, since no one seemed to be inclined to make it otherwise. Had ample resources behind her, which were, in terms of being shown before the assizes, tangible – and so, finally, had Peel caught in a grope that would make you gasp.

      MOCK

      (nickname for MOKKARA), an Aboriginal manservant bequeathed to Peel back in the motherland. Taken to England from New South Wales in earliest colonial days for ‘tickle-the-specimen’ purposes. This was right; he was a specimen – a specimen of a superiorly intelligent human being. He was never ever going to live in livery. A smile on his lips that had every right to turn into a smirk, but didn’t because he would make sure it never needed to.

      FRED PEEL

      Peel’s ‘son’, but openly known as the love-child of Mrs Peel, and one who knows his place is at the foot – under – of his ‘father’. The colony gives him the expanses of inner space which, in turn, allows him greater roles than playing the dutiful son. But keeps the ‘dutiful’ part and that’s the thing.

      MACQUEEN

      Lieutenant in rank and in law-and-order very rank. In legal matters, full of handcuffs; with Peel’s wife, hands cuff; with Peel, cuff-hands paddy-whack. Spiffing when it was worth the spit, and a spitter when he thought it might be spiffing. Doesn’t know when he’s cuckolding or the cuckold; never bothered with what it meant anyhow, what?

      MRS PEEL

      Married to Peel young and never forgot not to get over it. Has the wifely tones of ‘oh dear’, though, which husbands never take notice of. Peel most certainly was no exception. With her wandering eye and mind, a natural as an early settler, being an explorer of the males around her by inclination, especially if the next man invited her over the next sand hill. One day might reach the limits of her bed.

      DORA PEEL

      Daughter, who might still be asleep if she hadn’t woken up and discovered she was of age, then gone back to sleep to get over it. HALL was made to suffer there.

      HALL

      Stable master/hand of Peel and swain of DORA. Swaps his saddles for a robe and, in so doing, hands the shovel to clean any future stable floors over to Peel, right smartly and with lip-smacking relish.

      ACT 1

      1.

      (Through the darkness, there are the sounds of a raging storm at sea – driving rain, breaking waves, thunder and lightning.

      There are also the fearful sounds of a ship perhaps breaking up or at least under great stress, with raucous shouting from the crew and passengers.

      Halfway through this maelstrom, a light in the mid sky starts to intensify and then is shown to be coming from a big and bright sun. It evokes a brilliant and clear day in contrast to the chaos of the storm and from the arrival of the ship, even while the sights and sounds of climate and human chaos continue ‘around’ it.

      During a long moment, the feeling of overall turbulence ceases. There is only this strange clear-sky light beginning to flood the stage – again, this is quite separate from the strange unerring calm-centric sun. For this time, all is stillness… a promise of a new day, a new beginning.

      Then the sounds of the storm and the near-wrecking of the ship gradually return and become dominant. By the human cries, the survivors and stores are being loaded into lifeboats. These reach a frenzy and a crescendo, before abruptly cutting off again.

      Pause.

      Within the re-flooding light of the strange and central sun… blinded by its intensity… comes PEEL, stumbling (but remaining stoically upright) into it. He stands ‘within’ its glare.

      He is standing on an upright piano which has already sunk up to the top of its legs in the sand. It looks cemented in place… and metaphorically is.

      We can now better see how he is dressed ridiculously formally for the situation he is in – in breeches and boots and waistcoat and jacket, with pinned cravat, carrying a half-top hat.

      He stands stoically as a true blue-blooded aristocrat at the time would, as if he was still surveying his manor in England. He is not in England. He is in a wasteland of a beach on the other side of the world from that.

      But he seems totally unmindful of that. It seems his only concern is to stare down… to even wear down… the peculiar unerring sun that seems to be obsessing him, with his sheer presence, and not just of mind. While there are intimations of much movement on the beach all around him, he takes no notice of those. Instead he continues to stare unblinkingly up at ‘his’ sun. He doesn’t even avert his challenging gaze to:)

      PEEL: Strange. Passing strange. No. Unpassing strange. A bit… bloody queer. I am aware that at another time I might be quoted. Bit of a pity.

      (Slowly, as though ‘his’ sun itself is giving in to him, the overall lighting becomes ‘stage-wide’, even while its direct burning light remains the dominant feature throughout.

      Finally, MRS AYRTON comes, both with a harridan’s voice and a presumption that distracts even PEEL)

      MRS AYRTON: You know what I think, don’t you? I think you deliberately tipped me out. What more could be expected of you? Certainly, not from yours truly. Me drowning with a lung full of water from some strange foot I’ve only just put a person on! You! You’re going to get yours, Thomas Peel, mark me.

      PEEL: (barely deigning to answer) Get my what?

      MRS AYRTON: How do I know what? I’ve only just set foot on the place. Whatever it is, you’re going to get it! You should open your ears, or what’s the use of a gal talking to you?

      PEEL: The last time you were a gal, my ears hadn’t started developing.

      MRS AYRTON: Those ears of yours were born two hundred years before you were!

      PEEL: Well, they would’ve been around when you were born. Just.

      MRS AYRTON: I’m not taking any more insults you think you’re free to throw out here, either!

      (She bustles around ‘settling’ the few personal things, in the manner of ‘making’ house – which additionally annoys him -- until she cannot hold back:)

      MRS AYRTON: That was uncharted waters, that there was! ‘Couldn’t be found on any chart’… you think that’s funny you saying should go on my headstone?

      PEEL: (mutters) No, but the headstone would be fun.

      MRS ARYTON: Murderer! Don’t think you’re going to get away with it! I’ve got witnesses of you throwing your leg over the side and trying to put your foot in my mouth. Well, my mouth showed you!

      (and, whine)

      My own daughter had to untie me from that brutish bit of iron you said was a life buoy. Half of my fingernails sank without trace down to the quick, did you ever think about that? Murderer! Perversion! Looker!

      PEEL: (this stops him) What’d you say?

      MRS AYRTON: Looker! Looker!

      (PEEL bellows with rage, launches himself at her.

      But she is obviously used to this, the way she wards off his initial lunge and how she then skirts around him to run off. He follows close behind. Just off stage, he obviously catches her.

      We hear her screeching for help and the two of them struggling. He drags

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