A Confident Approach

© Confidence Seleme – 2015

Published by Chauke & Seleme Holdings (Pty) Ltd

406 Dover Towers, Randburg, 2194

South Africa

in association with Winepress Library Publications (Pty) Ltd

7273/17 Extension 6

Soshanguve East, 0152

South Africa

Email: [email protected]

or

[email protected]

Cover design by: Lethabo Nchabeleng

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author – Confidence Seleme.

Contents:

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1:

Who do you think you are?

Chapter 2:

Know your vantage points.

Chapter 3:

Fall in love.

Chapter 4:

Never let where you are, narrow where you’re going.

Chapter 5:

Everyone has their mountain to climb.

Chapter 6:

See the value and greatness in others!

Chapter 7:

A response to the naysayers.

Chapter 8:

Progression is the only option!

Chapter 9:

Tick-Tock.

Chapter 10:

Success loves to breed.

Chapter 11:

Leadership and Entrepreneurship.

Chapter 12:

Dream. Believe. Achieve.

Chapter 13:

The past and the future.

Chapter 14:

Essential tools along the way.

Chapter 15:

Life’s levels.

Chapter 16:

Discovering and defining our generational mission.

Chapter 17:

Building beyond boundaries.

‘Dedicated to those who want more out of life.’

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Acknowledgements

First and foremost, I’d like to thank God for the vision He has set upon my heart and for granting me the grace and passion to fulfil it. Secondly, I’d like to thank my beautiful wife, Beauty Seleme; thank you for your relentless support, love and the invaluable contribution you have made to this book. I’d also like to thank my parents William and Ennica Seleme; thank you for your constant love and encouragement. To my mentor and friend, Klaas Moswane; you are a well of wisdom, and thank you for the immeasurable investment you’ve made into my life. To my friend and business partner El-roy Chauke; we have come a long way and I look forward to seeing our shared vision come into full fruition. To my friend Decent Baloyi; a leader of leaders, thank you for your insight and for being a beacon of light for your generation. Last but definitely not least, Dr. M.E.C. Moleki, my pastor; I continue to be in awe of your wisdom and humility. The world is a better place because you are in it.

Foreword

There is a profound old adage that states, Success in life is not dependent on where you come from, but rather, where you are going. There is another adage which I believe to be equally profound and it states, There is no shame in being born with nothing, but it is a shame if you die with nothing or without having done anything. Confidence Seleme has boldly embraced and encapsulated the essence of these two statements in this book A confident approach – Enter boldly into your destiny! Contained between these pages is a wealth of information and golden nuggets for the enriching of mind and spirit.

This book takes you on a mental journey and challenges you to reflect and make serious considerations. It leads you across a path, guiding and showing you how to unearth your inner potential. It is truly a ‘confidence-booster’ and it’s very practical as well, providing several chapters of simple, yet effective and applicable principles for everyday life.

It was the great minister and author, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale who said, Change your thoughts and you change your life. It is not possible to alter the past or the personal circumstances that detrimentally affected your mind-set but it is within your grasp to learn how to change your attitude and outlook and become that content, confident person you’d like to become.

Many people struggle with issues of identity and in this book, Confidence Seleme asks pertinent questions that will inspire you to a greater sense of identity and self-knowledge. When you know who you’re destined to be, your decision-making becomes more focused and strategic and because you know what you can offer, you operate from that place of confidence. You can be bold. You can be unique. You can be yourself.

Thank you, Confidence, for your kindness in contributing to our world. Your book will raise the quality of many lives by changing the way people think.

Dr. M.E.C. Moleki

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Introduction

It matters what your approach to life is. Your approach can often mean the difference between success and failure. It can determine whether you clinch the business deal, create authentic relationships or achieve your personal goals and dreams. This book is designed to tailor your approach and overall outlook on life into one that is confident and positive – one that will assist you in birthing your greatness and achieving the things you were destined to achieve.

Most people view confidence as a personality trait that speaks solely to attitudinal aspects of an individual. I don’t believe it’s that linear and approaching it in that quick-fix, ‘just change your attitude’ manner does not produce long-lasting, deeply rooted confidence. In this book, I’ve taken a much more holistic approach, working at the foundations of what makes us confident, well-rounded people who are able to overcome the various obstacles that each of us face.

I believe that each one of us has a pre-ordained destiny that we should walk in. Like a road where your footprints have been carved – these footprints lead to a life where you are walking in your calling and are fulfilling that which you were born to fulfil. I’m not insinuating that this is some perfect route where there are no challenges.

I’m simply saying that the place this route leads you to makes the challenges you may face worth facing and it makes the journey much more enjoyable and rewarding. My hope is that this book will help you find those foot-prints that will help you get there. And if you’ve already found them, I hope it assists you on your journey and strengthens you to keep going.

I’ve always been in love with writing and when I discovered that I had a gift of inspiring people, I thought it would be a good idea to combine the two and out of that marriage, this publication was born. There is great reward and fulfilment when you help people unearth their potential and soar to the heights they were always meant to elevate to.

Part of my own calling is to help people find and walk in the calling upon their lives. So, in essence, by writing this book, I’m also fulfilling my own destiny and answering the call that is upon my life. There can be no greater joy than doing what you were created to do. It fills all your empty spaces and gives you a high that not even the most potent drug can produce or sustain.

Living your destiny-life gives you an answer to that deep existential question that every human being will at some point ask of themselves, ask of God, ‘Why was I created; what is my purpose?’ A destiny-life gives you the assurance that your mission and assignment on earth is being accomplished and you are making the impact that you were born to make. It feeds you with the wholesome knowledge that you are touching the lives you were meant to touch and are establishing all you were born to establish.

None of us are just a number. None of us are here just to occupy space and breathe in oxygen. We are here to make a difference. And although each of our assignments on earth may differ in scale, they do not differ in importance. What may seem small to one person may mean the world to another. The point of life is to fulfil your life’s assignment. You don’t have to look far to figure out that everything is created for a purpose. Just look at nature and the eco-system.

The sun shines and creates light and heat resulting in evaporation. Evaporation leads to the formation of clouds. Clouds burst and nourish the earth with rain. Rain feeds the ground leading to the growth of plants, flowers, trees and other vegetation. Flowers bloom and beautify the earth with their natural elegance and arty magnificence. Bees and various insects also live off them and they play a critical role in natural processes such as pollination. Plants, trees and other vegetation provide essential resources such as oxygen, food and shelter for all living species.

From the same rain, we get our drinking water, water to bathe, water to help run and work our machines, water to wash our clothes, dishes and to help complete many other tasks. This endless interconnectivity results in a marvellous chain that is truly awe-inspiring. We too are part of this chain and process and our role and importance should not be undermined.

But I’m not talking merely about getting up every morning to go to work so that you have money at the end of the month. I’m talking about discovering your role and purpose and then playing that role to your full potential. It’s similar to when a team hires a great coach who knows how to get the best out of his or her team.

With the right kind of ‘coaching’ or assistance, anyone can go to the next level and reach further than what was thought possible. As you delve into these pages, I hope that you will find the right nudge, the right pull and the right push to steer you into the direction that will lead you to greater performance and higher purpose.

The best journeys are those that amaze and enthral you. They are the ones that expose you to wonderful scenery. They open your eyes to exciting possibilities and stir you up to keep travelling and keep discovering all that your journey has to offer. May your personal journey through life be scenic and may it lead you to your desired destination.

I will share within these pages passages from my own experiences and passages from those I’ve learnt from. These are views, philosophies and teachings that I believe will be helpful to you. Some of the issues I will touch on include identity, rising from failure, faith, leadership, success principles as well as personal and entrepreneurial development.

Like good windscreen wipers on a rainy day, I hope this book helps you clear away all that may be preventing you from seeing your path accurately. May these words be as a compass that will help lead you to your true north, your true destiny.

Thank you for investing the precious resource of time to read this book.

Confidence Seleme

Chapter 1:

Who do you think you are?

The tone and manner that this question has often been asked has been one of hostility. Oftentimes, the question has been asked rhetorically to belittle and put someone ‘in their place’. The question suggests that the person being asked has stepped out of the bounds that the person asking has demarked for them.

Yes, a lot of times the question is asked under circumstances and situations of negativity and more often than not it evokes a spirit of resistance or even violence. But I’d like to view it from a different perspective. Let’s remove the malice and approach the question with a different tone. So, ‘Who do you think you are?’

Human beings are multifaceted species with complex intellectual make-ups. Each of us are coded and designed with uniqueness and we exist with and among other human beings. Even twins who may look identical on the outside and who may even share similar personality traits are different and unique from one another. It’s no coincidence that out of the billions of people who walk and have walked the earth, none have ever shared identical fingerprints.

Right from our genetic constructions, the homes we come from, the things we witness in our neighbourhoods, the books we read, the programmes we watch, the school and everyday environments we are exposed to, we are being formed and shaped. If you come from a family of lawyers, it’s likely that you will be indoctrinated into believing that being a lawyer is what defines success as that’s what your particular family environment suggests.

If you come from a family of criminals or you come from an environment