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    Fanny and the Servant Problem
    Fanny and the Servant Problem
    Fanny and the Servant Problem
    Ebook91 pages1 hour

    Fanny and the Servant Problem

    By Jerome K. Jerome

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    About this ebook

    This early work by Jerome K. Jerome was originally published in 1909 and we are now republishing it with a brand new introductory biography. 'Fanny and the Servant Problem' is a drama in four acts. Jerome Klapka Jerome was born in Walsall, England in 1859. Both his parents died while he was in his early teens, and he was forced to quit school to support himself. In 1889, Jerome published his most successful and best-remembered work, 'Three Men in a Boat'. Featuring himself and two of his friends encountering humorous situations while floating down the Thames in a small boat, the book was an instant success, and has never been out of print. In fact, its popularity was such that the number of registered Thames boats went up fifty percent in the year following its publication.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWhite Press
    Release dateApr 24, 2015
    ISBN9781473373396
    Fanny and the Servant Problem
    Author

    Jerome K. Jerome

    Jerome K. Jerome (1859–1927) was a British writer and humorist best known for the comic travelogue Three Men in a Boat. Inspired by his honeymoon boat trip on the River Thames, the novel was initially derided by critics as “vulgar,” but it soon became a phenomenon on both sides of the Atlantic and has never been out of print. 

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      Book preview

      Fanny and the Servant Problem - Jerome K. Jerome

      Fanny and the Servant Problem

      by

      Jerome K. Jerome

      Copyright © 2013 Read Books Ltd.

      This book is copyright and may not be

      reproduced or copied in any way without

      the express permission of the publisher in writing

      British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      Contents

      Jerome K. Jerome

      THE CHARACTERS

      ACT I

      ACT II

      ACT III

      ACT IV

      Jerome K. Jerome

      Jerome Klapka Jerome was born in Walsall, England in 1859. Both his parents died while he was in his early teens, and he was forced to quit school to support himself. Jerome worked for a number of years collecting coal along railway tracks, before trying his hand at acting, journalism, teaching and soliciting. At long last, in 1885, he had some success with On the Stage – and Off, a comic memoir of his experiences with an acting troupe. Jerome produced a number of essays over the following years, and married in 1888, spending the honeymoon in a little boat on the Thames.

      In 1889, Jerome published his most successful and best-remembered work, Three Men in a Boat. Featuring himself and two of his friends encountering humorous situations while floating down the Thames in a small boat, the book was an instant success, and has never been out of print. In fact, its popularity was such that the number of registered Thames boats went up fifty percent in the year following its publication. With the financial security provided by Three Men in a Boat, Jerome was able to dedicate himself fully to writing, producing eleven more novels and a number of anthologies of short fiction.

      In 1926, Jerome published his autobiography, My Life and Times. He died a year later, aged 68.

      THE CHARACTERS

      Fanny

      Her Husband, Vernon Wetherell, Lord Bantock

      Her Butler, Martin Bennet

      Her Housekeeper, Susannah Bennet

      Her Maid, Jane Bennet

      Her Second Footman, Ernest Bennet

      Her Still-room Maid, Honoria Bennet

      Her Aunts by marriage, the Misses Wetherell

      Her Local Medical Man, Dr. Freemantle

      Her quondam Companions, Our Empire:

        England

        Scotland

        Ireland

        Wales

        Canada

        Australia

        New Zealand

        Africa

        India

        Newfoundland

        Malay Archipelago

        Straits Settlements

      Her former Business Manager, George P. Newte

      ACT I

      SCENE

      The Lady Bantock’s boudoir, Bantock Hall, Rutlandshire, a spacious room handsomely furnished (chiefly in the style of Louis the Fourteenth) and lighted by three high windows, facing the south-west. A door between the fireplace and the windows leads to his lordship’s apartments. A door the other side of the fireplace is the general entrance. The door opposite the windows leads through her ladyship’s dressing-room into her ladyship’s bedroom. Over the great fireplace hangs a full-length portrait of Constance, first Lady Bantock, by Hoppner.

      The time is sunset of a day in early spring. The youthful Lord Bantock is expected home with his newly wedded wife this evening; and the two Misses Wetherell, his aunts, have been busy decorating the room with flowers, and are nearing the end of their labours. The two Misses Wetherell have grown so much alike it would be difficult for a stranger to tell one from the other; and to add to his confusion they have fallen into the habit of dressing much alike in a fashion of their own that went out long ago, while the hair of both is white, and even in their voices they have caught each other’s tones.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [she has paused from her work and is looking out of the windows]. Such a lovely sunset, dear.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [she leaves her work and joins her sister. The two stand holding each other’s hands, looking out]. Beautiful! [A silence. The sun is streaming full into the room.] You—you don’t think, dear, that this room—[she looks round it]—may possibly be a little TOO sunny to quite suit her?

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [not at first understanding]. How, dear, TOO sun—[She grasps the meaning.] You mean—you think that perhaps she does that sort of thing?

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Well, dear, one is always given to understand that they do, women—ladies of her profession.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It seems to me so wicked: painting God’s work.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We mustn’t judge hardly, dear. Besides, dear, we don’t know yet that she does.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Perhaps she’s young, and hasn’t commenced it. I fancy it’s only the older ones that do it.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. He didn’t mention her age, I remember.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. No, dear, but I feel she’s young.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I do hope she is. We may be able to mould her.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We must be very sympathetic. One can accomplish so much with sympathy.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We must get to understand her. [A sudden thought.] Perhaps, dear, we may get to like her.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [doubtful]. We might TRY, dear.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. For Vernon’s sake. The poor boy seems so much in love with her. We must -

      [Bennet has entered. He is the butler.]

      BENNET. Doctor Freemantle. I have shown him into the library.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Thank you, Bennet. Will you please tell him that we shall be down in a few minutes? I must just finish these flowers. [She returns to the table.]

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Why not ask him to come up here? We could consult him—about the room. He always knows everything.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. A good idea. Please ask him, Bennet, if he would mind coming up to us here. [Bennet, who has been piling up fresh logs upon the fire, turns to go.] Oh, Bennet! You will remind Charles to put a footwarmer in the carriage!

      BENNET. I will see to it myself. [He goes out.]

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Thank you, Bennet. [To her sister] One’s feet are always so cold after a railway journey.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I’ve been told that, nowadays, they heat the carriages.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Ah, it is an age of luxury! I wish I knew which were her favourite flowers. It is so nice to be greeted by one’s favourite flowers.

      THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I feel sure she loves lilies.

      THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. And they are so appropriate to a bride. So -

      [Announced by Bennet, Dr. Freemantle bustles in. He

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