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    Separate Beds
    Separate Beds
    Separate Beds
    Ebook121 pages1 hour

    Separate Beds

    By MJ Cruise

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Ernie and Twink are in the autumn of their lives. In celebration of their thirtieth wedding anniversary, the couple's children send them on a Caribbean cruise. Free of chores and children, Ernie and Twink are wined, dined, and introduced to exciting people. When they meet the rich, seductive Blake and Beth, who still seem to have a perfect life together after ten years of marriage, Twink becomes infatuated with the glamour of the other couple's lives and seeks to reignite the spark in her own marriage.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPlaywrights Canada Press
    Release dateMay 15, 2013
    ISBN9781770911406
    Separate Beds
    Author

    MJ Cruise

    MJ Cruise is an award-winning playwright and published choral composer. Her plays have been performed across North America and have been translated and produced in Germany. MJ teaches drama in Grimsby, Ontario, and is an ambassador for promoting the arts to young people through workshops and festival productions. Other plays include Albert Street, Dried Flowers, In My Life, and A Stranger in Our House.

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      Book preview

      Separate Beds - MJ Cruise

      This is dedicated to all the actors, directors, technicians and designers

      who have been a part of Separate Beds over the years.

      But most of all, to my husband, Brian, who never tired of reading my drafts

      and who still puts the twinkle in my eye.

      Separate Beds was originally produced by Theatre Aquarius in Hamilton, Ontario, in 2002 as a one-act play. It was performed by David Ferry and Kyra Harper. In 2004 it became a two-act play with the same two actors playing both couples.

      Since 2004 it has been performed across the world, including in Kingston, Ontario; Geneva, Switzerland; Long Island, New York; Salzberg, Austria; Port Colbourne, Ontario; Auckland, New Zealand; and Charlottetown, PEI.

      Characters

      To be performed by two actors. (Of course, depending on the needs of the theatre, it can be performed by four actors.)

      ERNIE Fraser, fifty-five

      TWINK Fraser, fifty

      BLAKE Stone, fifty-five

      BETH Stone, forty-nine

      Set

      The action takes place in a cabin suite and on the breakfast deck of a cruise ship. In the cabin suite there are two single beds. The patio area has a small round table with two chairs. In act two the single beds are pushed together.

      Note

      Names of places, expressions and references may be changed to suit the local audience. Music selections are only suggestions. However, I Got You Babe is highly recommended.

      Act One

      A cruise ship sailing in the Caribbean. Island music is playing softly. The lights are dim in a cabin suite. ERNIE and TWINK are tucked into their separate beds.

      TWINK

      Ernie?… Are you sleeping?

      ERNIE

      Now what?

      TWINK

      What if there’s not enough lifeboats?

      ERNIE

      Twink!

      TWINK

      Or there’s a hurricane or a tsunami?

      ERNIE

      Go to sleep. You’re driving me crazy! There’s enough lifeboats—not hurricane season—no tsunamis in the Caribbean. Go to sleep.

      TWINK

      I only asked a question. You don’t have to be so grumpy.

      ERNIE

      I’m not grumpy. I’m tired. My back hurts.

      TWINK

      Because you don’t do your stretches.

      ERNIE

      Because I sat for five hours on a plane in a seat made for sardines. Then I sat for two hours at the muster station learning the drills, and then I sat another two hours for dinner. So now can we go to sleep?

      Pause.

      TWINK

      But I can’t sleep. I need to get something off my chest. I need to vent.

      ERNIE

      Vent. Hurry up.

      TWINK

      Okay. You embarrassed me.

      ERNIE

      Me? What the heck did I do?

      TWINK

      You were rude to our dinner partners.

      ERNIE

      Rude? I wasn’t rude. I hardly said a word.

      TWINK

      Exactly. You hardly said two words and you had that look on your face all night.

      ERNIE

      What look?

      TWINK

      That bored look.

      ERNIE

      Because I was bored. The guy is full of himself. He talked about himself all night. And he bored me to death with his African safari stories. And his wife was the rude one, not me! She kept texting all through dinner.

      TWINK

      Because Beth’s an actress and she was texting her agent. She’s waiting to hear about a movie role. I wonder what it is? She couldn’t tell me.

      ERNIE

      Who cares?

      TWINK

      I care! I’ve never met a real live movie star before.

      ERNIE

      Movie star? I’ve never heard of her.

      TWINK

      She’s been on The Young and the Restless—twice—and she was on Broadway with Dustin Hoffman. And right now she’s in that cute dog-food commercial. Little Joey loves that commercial!

      ERNIE

      That’s her? Really?

      TWINK

      Yes. Of course she’s wearing a wig. But that is Beth Stone. So there.

      ERNIE

      Okay. I rest my case. I do like that commercial. I love how Joey imitates that little dog. Now can we go to sleep?

      They both get settled.

      TWINK

      Oh, Ernie. I just want us to have some fun. And the kids paid a lot of money for this trip.

      ERNIE

      The kids should have saved their money.

      TWINK

      That’s my point. They did save their money because they want us to celebrate our thirtieth anniversary in style. And they want you to relax. They’re worried about you. You are so stressed out.

      ERNIE

      Well, I have good reason to be stressed out. Business is bad.

      TWINK

      It’s slow for everyone.

      ERNIE

      But I can’t compete with Home Depoooooooooooo—

      ERNIE has the beginnings of a charley horse in his leg.

      Charley horse!

      TWINK bolts out of bed and turns the bedside light on. She is wearing her life jacket.

      TWINK lifts his leg, straddles it with her backside facing

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