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Growing up in the 1970's
Growing up in the 1970's
Growing up in the 1970's
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Growing up in the 1970's

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I had a very strict Christian upbringing, and partly because of this, I developed an ability to hide a lot of the things that I used to get up to from my parents.

This book is a collection of true stories and annecdotes from when I grew up in the 1970's.

It includes: My first memories as a child, from making mud-pies to kissing the girl next door. Making out with my first ever girlfriend as a teenager, shark fishing in America, being beaten up by Football hooligans, my first party in my own little cottage.

I hope you enjoy reading my tales!

LanguageEnglish
Release dateFeb 26, 2013
ISBN9781301598991
Growing up in the 1970's
Author

Cameron Thompson

Cameron Thompson is in his early 50's and lives in a 400 year old cottage in South East England with his wife, three children & three cats! Cameron has tended to write mainly, true, short stories about his life, either growing up, or usually hilarious things that have happened to him over the years. His first true short story is "A weekend at the Monaco Grand Prix" He has just published a collection of hilarious true short Stories entitled 'Growing up in the 70's' which takes you from his very first memories to age 25. He has written several more short stories that he intends to publish here on Smashwords over the next few weeks / months Cameron's writing style is heavily influenced by his favourite all time Author Ernest Hemmingway! He doesn't tend to go for flowery descriptions, however he writes the story so you are gripped, and feel like you actually lived the experience yourself!

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    Growing up in the 1970's - Cameron Thompson

    Growing up in the 1970’s

    Cameron Thompson

    Published by Cameron Thompson]

    Smashwords Edition

    Copyright 2013 Cameron Thompson

    Smashwords Edition, License Notes

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

    My very first memory is of shit! Literally, Sigmund Freud would have a field day with me! My earliest memory that I can remember is sitting in the bath as a toddler and shitting small plop plops as I called them at the time. I was quite fascinated by these little brown balls that amazingly appeared from my bottom. They came out perfectly formed, like little brown marbles. I can remember quite clearly the joy of fishing them out of the water and throwing them across the bathroom, and watching them splat on the walls and floor. I can also remember that my mother wasn’t too impressed, and I got taught in no uncertain terms, that throwing your shit around the bathroom was not a good idea!

    My other earliest memory, I am sure has had a profound effect on me for all of my life. I was a little kid of about 4 or 5 years old. I was always desperate to have friends around, and I was always begging my mother to let the other little urchins and playmates that lived down my street come round to my garden and play. Finally my mother relented, and I got to have about four friends from along the street to play with me in my back garden. I was so proud to have them to play. However no sooner had they all arrived, eagerly waiting to make mud pies in the flower beds, than I suddenly had this overpowering urge to go to the toilet. So I made my excuses and disappeared upstairs to sit on the loo.

    What I hadn't reckoned with, is that I would be so constipated, no matter how hard I pushed and pushed, nothing would happen. It was like a miniature version of giving birth, I tried everything, standing up, kneeling over, and pushing my tummy. Eventually after much straining and contorting, I finally was able to deliver the biggest turd of my life. It was so big it stuck out of the water!. I flushed the loo and rushed downstairs to play with my little gang of friends. But much to my shock and horror, there was no-one there, they all run off and gone home! I was devastated!

    When I was about 5 or 6 years old, much to my glee, a really pretty girl and her family moved into the house across the street. Her name was Linda. She was the same age as me, and in no time, we became good friends, and our mothers also got to know each other. Our mothers used to take us out for long walks to the shops in our pushchairs, and as we got back to our street, we used to jump out of our pushchairs and make a dash for my house.

    What our mothers didn’t know, to this day is why we were so keen to run back to my back yard! It was so we could show each other our bits! In particular, she seemed to have a passion for feeling my nuts! I was none too wise about what these things were for, but I had convinced myself that the two small lumps that I could feel in my balls were eggs and that one day they would hatch out into babies.

    As we got to know each other more and more, we would spend most of the time in each other’s houses. So much so that my mum used to put us both in the bath together. I used to think this was fantastic that my mum would put me and my little girlfriend in the bath together! Consequently we seemed to feel it was totally normal to examine each others private parts.

    I can vividly remember hours and hours playing Doctors and nurses with Linda in her bedroom. She would lie on the bed and take her knickers off, and I would pretend to be the doctor and examine her bits in minute detail. Then we would swap roles, and she would be the nurse and examine my bits, it seemed all perfectly normal. If only our mothers knew what we were getting up to!

    I have never been very good at doing what I am told, I am every parent, and every teacher and every boss’s worst nightmare. I can also be very devious, and if I am not allowed to do something, I will try dammed hard to find a way round it.

    I can remember being obsessed with making mud pies in the garden, when I was about 5 years old. There was a really good patch of loose earth underneath an old apple tree in our back garden, and I was hell bent on making mud pies with my bucket and spade that my dad had bought me for our beach holiday. I started carrying buckets of water out of the kitchen and into the back garden, not telling my mum what I was up to. Eventually she came out side and found out what I was up to, I was basically turning the flowerbeds into a beach, digging up the plants to make room for more mud pies. Soon I got shouted at, got a smack, and told that I was to make no more mess and not to make any mud pies. My mum went inside and shut the kitchen door. So what did I do? I waited about ten minutes outside the kitchen wall where the waste water pipe emerged from the sink, and simply put my bucket under the end of this pipe and filled it up with waste water from the sink. I had a fine old afternoon busily making more mud pies as far as the eye could see! Eventually my mum came out and went absolutely nuts, shouted and screamed at me, gave me a smack, and I got sent to my bedroom for the rest of the day!

    I can remember very clearly the first Christmas where I was finally aware of what was going on and was really looking forward to a visit from Santa. We didn’t have stockings, instead we had pillow cases (covers) hung at the end of our beds. I had bunk beds in my room, and I was sharing my room with my Grandma. She had the bottom bunk, and I had the top bunk.

    I must have been about 4

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