How I Learned To Hate the Shadows

PROLOGUE

After my father died, I felt like I was being watched.

I wasn’t sure why. I had been talking with my Dad when he died. Nobody was around; we were in our own kitchen. He was frying some eggs before school -- my Mom had already gone to work -- and he was kidding around with me. So, honey, any good-looking boys at school?

I looked at him with disgust. Da-ad, I didn't tell him that although I was seriously in love with Justin Bieber, the guys in school were disgusting and not worth the dirt on my shoes. Yuch.

He grinned at me. So, how is school?

I looked down at the out the window. Good, I answered. I thought I saw my buddy walking by, and wondered idly what he was doing this far out of town.

Dad smiled at me. Yeah, right. Kid, you used to like school. Now I can barely drag you there. What's going on?

I didn't want him to think that I couldn't handle it, but...

Dad, something happened in school that was kind of weird.

He flipped the egg over. I like mine over hard. What's that, punkin?

I made somebody do something that they didn't want to do.

He smiled. And how did you do that?

Daddy, I think I did it with my mind.

He looked thoughtful. That's what I liked about my Dad. He was completely silly, but he took me serious, no matter what silly things I said. What makes you think you did it with your mind?

I told Miranda in my mind that I thought she looked like a frog, and she got down on her hands and started croaking. I blushed when I thought of it. And then I told everybody to forget it and then they left me without looking at me.

Daddy looked startled, then thoughtful again. Okay, that's pretty convincing. He took the eggs out of the frying pan and turned off the burner. Why does that sound familiar?

I looked up at him. Huh?

That sounds familiar... Suddenly, he got a surprised look on his face. I thought I saw something dark enter his chest, then he collapsed.

Daddy!

I rushed over to him. He tried to smile up at me, said love you, then he stopped breathing, his eyes wide open.

I pounded on his chest, then grabbed the phone. I was just about to call Mom, when I thought I better call 911.

But it was too late.

It took forever for the ambulance to get there. Mom was close behind, because the emergency lady had somebody call her.

But Daddy was gone.

And I started feeling like I was being watched.

It got so bad that I pulled down all the posters of Justin down off my walls. I had a doll collection set up on shelves -- I was about to throw them out when Mom caught me and we wrapped them in tissue paper and put them in the spare room.

But I still felt like I was being watched. And, if I turned fast enough, I could swear that I could see one green eye looking at me.

CHAPTER 1: Not a typical day at school – I have two blasts from the past

Two years later, I was leaning into my locker, looking for my mythology book and wondering what the heck was so dark at the bottom – my old gym clothes? -- when I heard a voice behind me.

I need to ask you something, Jaimie.

I sighed, shut my locker, shifted my backpack, pushed with my mind – I called them spells -- to keep other people from hearing us, then turned around. He pushed up his glasses. His red hair seemed redder than usual today.

Hi, Bennie. I looked him up and down. He didn’t look too bad today. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. Unfortunately, nothing could hide the fact that he was a little skinny kid. Except his talent.

He shifted from foot to foot and side to side, trying to avoid people who kept bumping into him. You see, Bennie's unique ability -- which only I recognized -- is the ability to be unknown and invisible. No teachers remembered his name. I knew I was the class freak, but he was the class nobody.

Hey, Jaimie, he finally said.

So, I asked Bennie. What do you need?

I keep thinking I see shadows on the ceiling. Do you see them?

I blinked. Huh? I stirred my gym clothes. No, nothing dark there. What do you mean by shadows? I was still concentrating on finding my Mythology book – that was my next class. Then I looked at him. Shadows? Something dark? Naw, I never told him what happened when my Dad died. I dismissed the thought.

He grimaced. I’m not sure, exactly. I just kept seeing things out of the corner of my eyes.

Bennie can sometimes be a little too weird for me. There was this one time he thought he was a vampire because there was a bat in his house until I pointed out he walked to school in the sunshine. Then there was the time he thought the local Catholic priest was a wizard because he heard that he turned bread and wine into the flesh and blood of Christ. I had to look up Catholicism which led to transubstantiation -- which I’m not even going to try to explain -- all trying to prove the priest wasn’t a wizard. I’m still not sure he believed me.

The vapid brunette in the locker next to mine bumped into Bennie. He shifted over. Don't you think that's weird?

That you see things out of the corner of your eyes? I started walking down the hall, noticing that the lights did seem dim today. Probably just a little brown-out. We just added a computer room, and it seemed to draw a lot of electricity. This school is so old… we were in a district that believed that you put the teacher on one side of the log, the student on the other, and maybe a ten year old book between them.

And forget about fixing the roof. The building was two stories, and there was a puddle on the first floor. I bypassed the puddle and went down the hall. Our next class was down this hall, to the right. Mrs. Short was our Mythology teacher, a sweet lady. I heard another teacher say that she was just this side of retirement, although she seemed ancient to me. In fact, they only kept Mythology on as part of the English curriculum as a favor for her, as long as she taught it as literature.

Bennie sat next to me, like he always did. Mrs. Short kept looking over us. I suddenly realized that my spell was still going. Not that I think Bennie knew the difference.

Mrs. Short blinked at me. Jaimie! Where did you come from?

I shrugged. I've been here.

She blinked. So you have. She then started lecturing on Zeus. Which was okay. He sounded like a powerful Dude, with a capital D.

But I found myself thinking about Bennie and the shadows he saw out of the corner of his eye.

Jaimie. Mrs. Short was looking at me.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed again. I looked around, but nobody else noticed. I shrugged and shook my head. I'm sorry, Mrs. Short. I guess I was up too late last night.

Jennifer, the head cheerleader and one of my tormentors, laughed. I know what she was thinking, and suddenly I thought I knew what she had been doing last night. I stared at her steadily, and said B.J. Right? She stopped laughing, blushed, and turned away after a sideways glare.

A shadow fell over my paper. I looked up. Ok, that was freaky. The lights still looked dim, but nothing was there. Then I felt something. Beside me, Bennie grabbed my arm and shivered. I looked at him. He looked at me. The kids behind us snickered. Bennie released my arm with a jerk.

Mrs. Short looked at us again. Is there something wrong?

I looked down. Mrs. Short was sweet, and I really hated to lie to her. I thought I saw a mouse. Bennie said I didn't. I saw the shadow again – it looked like black ink now -- and then it dove for me. I ducked. I'm sorry.

I saw Bennie look at his hand. The shadow had touched him, and where it had touched him, the spot was pure white. I touched it -- ice cold. I stared at it. What the --

I looked at him. Bennie looked like he was in pain, and that worried me. He may be paranoid and weird, but his pain tolerance was very high. I’ve seen him beat up and shrug off his bruises. So if he was showing he was in pain, well, he was. Mrs. Short, may we go to the nurse? I said.

I'm all right, Bennie muttered.

No, you're not, I murmured.

I extended my control so that everybody froze but Bennie and me. I don’t like to do that too often, it’s too tiring. He looked around. You scare me sometimes.

I looked up at the ceiling. It was like watching a Koi pool, but in reverse. And those things don’t? I yelled. Do you want to sit in this class and freeze to death?

He looked down. No.

I started time again. Mrs. Short was looking at us compassionately. Of course. You need to go to the nurse. I practically snatched the slip out of her hands, grabbed Bennie's hand, and rushed out of the room.

Did you do that?

What?

Influence Mrs. Short.

No. I keep telling you, she's a nice old lady.

She doesn't like me.

Bennie, I said, as we ducked into the nurse's office. Nobody likes you.

He looked stricken.

They can't like you, I explained, because they don't even know you're there. You have to learn how to turn off your invisibility shield or whatever that is.

He relaxed. Oh. Yeah. But -- if they don’t know I’m next to them, they can’t bully me.

I shook my head. If nobody can see you, the only friend you’ll have is me.

He looked scared. That’s good enough.

I sighed, wishing I could say something to Bennie’s dad, but he wasn’t much better. According to my Mom, Bennie’s dad seemed to withdraw after his wife died eight years ago.

Can I help you? Oh, God. Nurse Jones. It wasn't that she was overbearing, she was scary. Like she was going to help us or else something bad was going to happen.

I pointed at Bennie's arm. She looked to where I was pointing, then looked at me. I nudged Bennie. She refocused her eyes and saw Bennie with a slight start. He held out his arm and pointed to the spot. She pushed at it. It's frozen, she said. You did this in Chemistry class?

No, Bennie said earnestly. Mythology.

She frowned. Don't be cheeky.

Cheeky? I could almost see Bennie's cloak of invisibility draw over him. I nudged him again. Stop it, I hissed.

She felt it again, and so did I. She slapped my hand away, put some antiseptic on it, then placed a bandage on it. Which I knew she was going to do, she always did that. If you came in with your arm cut off, I swear she’d put a bandage on it. Keep it on for two hours, Miss Jones said, sarcastically. You'll live.

I saw some movement behind her. Another shadow. I ducked back. This one was solidifying. And it wasn't solidifying dark; this one was solidifying in a tie-dye shirt. Um... Bennie said, and pointed behind the nurse. She glanced backwards, shrugged, then pushed us out of her door. As it closed, I could see her settle down to a magazine and the guy behind her fade out.

Not before I got a good look at him. Dark hair, down to his shoulders. He had a mullet? Bright blue eyes. Long face. Cute, in a pale vampire kind of way. His shoes... his shoes were the old style of tennis shoes.

Hey, Bennie said. He looks kinda like Dad's yearbook.

You mean the pictures in your Dad's yearbook, Bennie. He doesn't look like a book.

But Bennie was right. I kinda recognized him too. But where? And why?

CHAPTER 2: I dodge Ghosts, Shadows, and Volleyballs

Bennie and I were in different classes for the rest of the day. I was restless, looking around for shadows, and got reprimanded in gym when I let the stupid volleyball get past me because I was looking the other direction. We were supposed to be learning golf, but when Mrs. Cord decided not to teach that day, yup, volleyball.

I looked at the other side of the net. I didn't have many friends in school; I kinda liked it that way these days. But then there were Jessica and Jennifer – tall, blonde, skinny, and already pretty in the grown-up way, whereas most of us still looked a little half-formed and awkward.

And – they were Juniors, and I was only in the Tenth grade.

So, naturally, they hated me. I had dark hair, a squashed nose, green eyes, and I was not skinny. I refused to believe I was fat, as they said. I also wore lip rings, nose rings, and as many finger rings as I could get on. And black. Lots and lots of black.

They looked at me as if I were lab mold. We glared at each other through the net. The server punched the ball. It bounced a couple of times, then Jen spiked the ball at my head. Naturally, I ducked. And again. And again. My teammates, if you could call them that, kept looking at me, apparently wondering whether to defend me or let it go. Finally, it was my turn to sit out, and the game got more civilized.

My mind turned back to Bennie, but then Katelyn sat down beside me from the other team. She was kinda a mousy little creature – my age, but you could tell she was going to be pretty. She had a big heart, she was smart, and she was funny. She was also new this year, and she seemed pretty cool. Hey. You all right?

I shrugged. I'm good.

They're being asses.

I smiled and turned to look at her. I didn't know you knew those words.

The advantages of being a bookworm.

Those girls are really being unfair. They really don't know you.

You don't know me either. I'm a freak. Didn't you realize?

She snorted. Having freaky things happen around you doesn't make you a freak.

I tilted my head. Like I say, you don't know me that well.

I'd like to be your friend, if you’ll let me.

I leaned back against the bleachers. I thought you were kinda shy.

Not talking doesn't mean that I'm shy. Reserved, maybe.

Reserved.

Keeping to myself.

I know what reserved means.

And you're not as dumb as everybody says. She looked at me closely to see my reaction.

It's an attitude I project. I do have an attitude problem.

She shrugged again. I knew that.

You know, I really wouldn't mind having a real girlfriend -- and I do mean a female friend -- again. Since boyfriends seem to be unattainable for me, we could at least look at guys and gossip. I couldn't do that with Bennie.

Then I remembered what happened in Mythology, and the thought of a normal life faded. Should I tell her about the problems I had with Bennie, the ghost appearing in the nurse's office and the shadows in Mythology?

Oh, why not. How are you with mysteries?

That's my Mom's kinda of books, but ok, I guess.

Real mysteries, I mean?

I don't think I've ever encountered any. Except maybe my socks disappearing in the dryer.

I took a deep breath. Can you meet me after school?

Is that the mystery?

I snickered. She may even have my sense of humor.

I can call Mom, and tell her I'm going to a friend’s house. She doesn't worry -- much.

Sounds like my Mom. I thought of something. Do you care if Bennie hangs around us?

Who?

I really have to work on Bennie. He's a geek, but he's a guy I know.

Ok. Oh, yeah, him. She smiled. Any friend of yours….

I got called back into the game. I made a face. I hate volleyball, I'm not good at it, and Jen and Jessica were still in the game. And I really hate to waste my talent on pond scum. Still...

A spider! Jessica screamed and drew away from Jen.

Where?

On your back! The rest of the team screamed and batted ineffectively at Jessica’s back. I smiled and drew away, made them think that the spider fell on the floor and scooted toward me. I lifted my foot and stamped the empty floor. I smiled and said, It's gone.

I caught Katelyn looking at me oddly. She smiled, puzzled. Interesting.

But would she like me after I told her about the ghost and the shadows? Or was I setting myself up for another fall?

CHAPTER 3: I find A Friend and a Mystery

Bennie met me at my locker. You see any other shadows? he said.

No. You?

Naw.

I cursed at my locker. The combination was so finicky. I finally kicked it open, threw my books in, and slammed it shut.

Bennie flinched.

We're meeting a girl.

We are?

I'm going to tell her about me. And about you.

About me? I don't do anything.

I sighed. Sure you don't. Vampire.

He blushed.

Katelyn was already at the East Michigan exit, on her cell phone, probably to her Mom. As we approached, she punched at the phone. Mom's expecting me at five. So, where do you want to go?

I looked up. It was a nice day. Let's go to the park. The park was on West Michigan, the other side of downtown. It wasn't a bad park for a small town -- a few animals, but mostly a lot of privacy, especially this time of day. And it was open, in case Katelyn freaked out and decided to run away.

We walked quietly to the park and sat on the swings.

What's up?

Katelyn, remember the spider in the volleyball court?

Yeah? I mean, no, I never did actually see a spider, but all the girls were stomping at it, so I think it was there.

That's what I thought. You didn't see it. Do you ever see anything around me, or do you just think you do?

She shrugged. I never see anything. So?

Katelyn, when I say I'm a freak, I'm really a freak. I made them see the spider.

She considered a bit. How?

With magic.

She frowned. I don't believe in magic. I could feel a pout coming on. She held up a finger. But I do believe in telepathy, telekinesis, and the power of the mind.

I had never quite considered my magic that way. Possible, I suppose. After all, my spells never lasted after I left the room, except some slight power of suggestion, and I never saw what I told the other people to see. One time, last year, I told my worst enemy that I was going to turn her into a dog, and while she crouched down and stuck her tongue out like she was panting and the rest of the hallway gasped around her, all I saw was her looking ridiculous. And then I made her and the rest of the hallway forget everything, while I grinned at her for the rest of the day. Freaked her out even worse. After all, it was bad enough being a freak. I didn't want to get lynched for witchcraft.

What do you see behind us?

She turned and looked. Um... nothing.

Look again.

Oh. Hi.

Katelyn, this is Bennie. He has the ability to make people not notice him.

She reached out her hand. Hi, Bennie.

I could see him trying to go into invisible mode. But now that she saw him, it wasn't working. Hi... um... Katelyn.

Oh, yeah, I have seen you around school.

He looked astonished. You have?

Yeah. You're in my chemistry class. You really know what you're doing, but the teacher never calls on you, does he?

No.

Nobody sees you.

Yeah.

This is totally cool. She turned to me. Can you make me see something?

That was the last thing I expected to hear her say. And you still want to be my friend.

Hey, any enemy of Jen’s is a friend of mine.

I swung on the swings. Ok, here's another problem. Bennie and I saw a ghost today.

Katelyn smiled. Cool. She looked at my face. Hey, I read all sorts of things.

You know, you look normal, but you're kinda freaky yourself.

So, is the ghost the mystery?

Yeah, and also the shadow in Mythology that touched Bennie and made his hand freeze.

Suddenly, the little merry-go-round -- it wasn't really, but I didn't know what to call the little thing that went round and round -- started going round and round wildly. Katelyn reached out and touched it. It stopped immediately. She sat on it, while we stared at her.

You two are haunted.

Tell me something I don't know.

Do you realize you two look kinda alike?

I didn’t expect her to take me literally. We looked at each other.

We’ve had people say that we look alike, Bennie said.

Are you related?

No, I said. I mean, our parents would have told us. My parents are – were – cool that way.

Possibly, Bennie said.

I looked at him. You know something I don't?

I saw a picture in my house. We could be related, Bennie said calmly.

Bennie and I, related? Impossible.

CHAPTER 4: I Can So Pick My Relatives

Impossible. Can't be. That was my mantra as I walked home, Bennie talking more than I ever saw him talking. Katelyn and I left him at his house. He went in reluctantly. It was a nice house, kinda old and Victorian. His father wasn't home -- he had a good job, and Bennie got everything he needed. Except maybe attention.

Katelyn was next. Call me after you talk to your mother, she said as she gave me her number and she went into her house. It was also a nice house, a little older, but painted and fixed up and landscaped. Not Victorian. The houses got newer the further out of town. I imagined her parents being a little older, but still nice looking, if you know what I mean. I don't know why, she just had that vibe of being a child of older parents.

I walked home. Mom was just getting home herself from the dentist's office. She worked in the office. Which was not creepy in itself, but when your classmates come up to me and say that they saw my Mom, and I come home and my Mom says yes, she saw them, but you know, honey, I can't tell you anything -- client confidentiality and HIPAA -- I don't know, it just seems kind of creepy. I don't know, if she worked at K-Mart or something as a greeter, it would feel better to me, I guess.

She set a couple of little bags down on the counter. I took a look in them. Oh, Mom.

She pulled out a toothbrush. Hey, we need some new ones and the salesman dropped these off.

I made a face.

Well, I suppose I could bring home used brushes.

Mo-om. That's gross. I made a face.

She smiled. You asked. She looked at my empty arms. Don't you have any homework? Where's your backpack?

I didn't want to tell her that I blew off my homework. It's at school. And I don't have any homework... much.

She frowned. Maybe you can get into school early and get it done.

Yeah.

She sighed. You're smarter than that. I don't see why you're throwing your education away.

Mom, I'm only in tenth grade. I can't throw away my education or my college career yet.

You'd be amazed.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard this before, and I really didn't feel like saying the next line. Like maybe I'm not going to college? I really didn't feel like it.

Anything weird happen today? I said instead.

I had a client throw her dentures at me.

Ew.

That's what I thought.

Why? I couldn't help asking.

I don't know. I think she was a little senile.

And a little mental.

You think?

I went for the chips under the counter.

Not before dinner.

I'm hungry.

Have a piece of celery.

Aren't you going to ask me about my day?

She looked at me. How was your day?

I saw a ghost.

She snickered. You watched MacBeth?

Mom.

There's ain’t no such things as ghosts.

Great. Now she was misquoting Ghostbusters. There was no talking with my Mom. Fine, I said, and stomped up to my room.

I guess it wasn't so much that my Mom didn't believe me, but that she was making jokes about it. I mean, I know all the stats that teenagers are supposed to be hormonal and all that, but Mom just didn't know anything.

I heard her come up the stairs. I threw myself down upon my black sheets -- I love my bed -- and my unicorn bounced off. Ok, I have a stuffed unicorn. So sue me.

I kept my face turned away from the door, expecting a knock. There wasn't any. I rose up, opened the door, saw my Mom staring at