A Nonsense Anthology

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Title: A Nonsense Anthology

Author: Collected by Carolyn Wells

Release Date: November, 2005 [EBook #9380] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on September 27, 2003]

Edition: 10

Language: English

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A NONSENSE ANTHOLOGY ***

Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Robert Prince and PG Distributed Proofreaders

He must be a fool indeed who cannot at times play the fool; and he who does not enjoy nonsense must be lacking in sense.

WILLIAM J. ROLFE.

A Nonsense Anthology

Collected by Carolyn Wells

1910

TO

GELETT BURGESS

A NONSENSE LOVER

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

JABBERWOCKY Lewis Carroll

MORS IABROCHII Anonymous

THE NYUM-NYUM Anonymous

UFFIA Harriet R. White

SPIRK TROLL-DERISIVE James Whitcomb Riley

THE WHANGO TREE 1840

SING FOR THE GARISH EYE W.S. Gilbert

THE CRUISE OF THE P.C. Anonymous

TO MARIE Anonymous

LUNAR STANZAS Henry Coggswell Knight

NONSENSE Anonymous, 1617

SONNET FOUND IN A DESERTED MAD HOUSE Anonymous

THE OCEAN WANDERER Anonymous

SHE'S ALL MY FANCY PAINTED HIM Lewis Carroll

MY RECOLLECTEST THOUGHTS Charles E. Carryl

FATHER WILLIAM Anonymous

IN THE GLOAMING James C. Bayles

BALLAD OF BEDLAM Punch

'TIS SWEET TO ROAM Anonymous

HYMN TO THE SUNRISE Anonymous

THE MOON IS UP Anonymous

'T IS MIDNIGHT Anonymous

UPRISING SEE THE FITFUL LARK Anonymous

LIKE TO THE THUNDERING TONE Bishop Corbet

MY DREAM Anonymous

MY HOME Anonymous

IN IMMEMORIAM Cuthbert Bede

THE HIGHER PANTHEISM IN A NUTSHELL A. C. Swinburne

DARWINITY Herman Merivale

SONG OF THE SCREW Anonymous

MOORLANDS OF THE NOT Anonymous

METAPHYSICS Oliver Herford

ABSTROSOPHY Gelett Burgess

ABSTEMIA Gelett Burgess

PSYCHOLOPHON Gelett Burgess

TIMON OF ARCHIMEDES Charles Battell Loomis

ALONE Anonymous

LINES BY A MEDIUM Anonymous

TRANSCENDENTALISM From the Times of India

INDIFFERENCE Anonymous

QUATRAIN Anonymous

COSSIMBAZAR Henry S. Leigh

THE PERSONIFIED SENTIMENTAL Bret Harte

A CLASSIC ODE Charles Battell Loomis

WHERE AVALANCHES WAIL Anonymous

BLUE MOONSHINE Francis G. Stokes

NONSENSE Thomas Moore

SUPERIOR NONSENSE VERSES Anonymous

WHEN MOONLIKE ORE THE HAZURE SEAS W.M. Thackeray

LINES BY A PERSON OF QUALITY Alexander Pope

FRANGIPANNI Anonymous

LINES BY A FOND LOVER Anonymous

FORCING A WAY Anonymous

THY HEART Anonymous

A LOVE-SONG BY A LUNATIC Anonymous

THE PARTERRE E.H. Palmer

TO MOLLIDUSTA Planché

JOHN JONES A.C. Swinburne

THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT Edward Lear

A BALLADE OF THE NURSERIE John Twig

A BALLAD OF HIGH ENDEAVOR Anonymous

THE LUGUBRIOUS WHINGWHANG James Whitcomb Riley

OH! WEARY MOTHER Barry Pain

SWISS AIR Bret Harte

THE BULBUL Owen Seaman

BALLAD Anonymous

OH, MY GERALDINE F.C. Burnand

BUZ, QUOTH THE BLUE FLY Ben Jonson

A SONG ON KING WILLIAM III Anonymous

THERE WAS A MONKEY Anonymous, 1626

THE GUINEA PIG Anonymous

THREE CHILDREN London, 1662

IF Anonymous

A RIDDLE Anonymous

THREE JOVIAL HUNTSMEN Anonymous

THREE ACRES OF LAND Anonymous

MASTER AND MAN Anonymous

HYDER IDDLE Anonymous

KING ARTHUR Anonymous

IN THE DUMPS Anonymous

TWEEDLE-DUM AND TWEE-DLE-DEE Anonymous

MARTIN TO HIS MAN From Deuteromelia

THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO Edward Lear

THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES Edward Lear

THE JUMBLIES Edward Lear

INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF MY UNCLE ARLY

                                       Edward Lear

LINES TO A YOUNG LADY Edward Lear

WAYS AND MEANS Lewis Carroll

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER Lewis Carroll

THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK Lewis Carroll

SYLVIE AND BRUNO Lewis Carroll

GENTLE ALICE BROWN W.S. Gilbert

THE STORY OF PRINCE AGIB W.S. Gilbert

FERDINANDO AND ELVIRA, OR THE GENTLE PIEMAN

                                       W.S. Gilbert

GENERAL JOHN W. S. Gilbert

LITTLE BILLEE W. M. Thackeray

THE WRECK OF THE JULIE PLANTE William H. Drummond

THE SHIPWRECK E. H. Palmer

A SAILOR'S YARN J. J. Roche

THE WALLOPING WINDOW-BLIND Charles E. Carryl

THE ROLLICKING MASTODON Arthur Macy

THE SILVER QUESTION Oliver Herford

THE SINGULAR SANGFROID OF BABY BUNTING

                                       Guy Wetmore Carryl

FAITHLESS NELLY GRAY Thomas Hood

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN George Canning

MALUM OPUS James Appleton Morgan

ÆSTIVATION O. W. Holmes

A HOLIDAY TASK Gilbert Abbott à Becket

PUER EX JERSEY Anonymous

THE LITTLE PEACH Anonymous

MONSIEUR McGINTÉ Anonymous

YE LAYE OF YE WOODPECKORE Henry A. Beers

COLLUSION BETWEEN A ALEGAITER AND A WATER-SNAIK

                                       J. W. Morris

ODD TO A KROKIS Anonymous

SOME VERSES TO SNAIX Anonymous

A GREAT MAN Oliver Goldsmith

AN ELEGY Oliver Goldsmith

PARSON GRAY Oliver Goldsmith

AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG Oliver Goldsmith

THE WONDERFUL OLD MAN Anonymous

A CHRONICLE Anonymous

ON THE OXFORD CARRIER John Milton

NEPHELIDIA A. C. Swinburne

MARTIN LUTHER AT POTSDAM Barry Pain

COMPANIONS C. S. Calverley

THE COCK AND THE BULL C. S. Calverley

LOVERS AND A REFLECTION C. S. Calverley

AN IMITATION OF WORDSWORTH Catharine M. Fanshawe.

THE FAMOUS BALLAD OF THE JUBILEE CUP Arthur T. Quiller-Couch

A SONG OF IMPOSSIBILITIES W. M. Praed

TRUST IN WOMEN Anonymous

HERE IS THE TALE Anthony C. Deane

THE AULD WIFE C. S. Calverley

NOT I R. L. Stevenson

MINNIE AND WINNIE Lord Tennyson

THE MAYOR OF SCUTTLETON Mary Mapes Dodge

THE PURPLE COW Gelett Burgess

THE INVISIBLE BRIDGE Gelett Burgess

THE LAZY ROOF Gelett Burgess

MY FEET Gelett Burgess

THE HEN Oliver Herford

THE COW Oliver Herford

THE CHIMPANZEE Oliver Herford

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS Oliver Herford

THE PLATYPUS Oliver Herford

SOME GEESE Oliver Herford

THE FLAMINGO Lewis Gaylord Clark

KINDNESS TO ANIMALS J. Ashby-Sterry

SAGE COUNSEL A. T. Quiller-Couch

OF BAITING THE LION Owen Seaman

THE FROG Hilaire Belloc

THE YAK Hilaire Belloc

THE PYTHON Hilaire Belloc

THE BISON Hilaire Belloc

THE PANTHER Anonymous

THE MONKEY'S GLUE Goldwin Goldsmith

THERE WAS A FROG Christ Church MS.

THE BLOATED BIGGABOON H. Cholmondeley-Pennell

WILD FLOWERS Peter Newell

TIMID HORTENSE Peter Newell

HER POLKA DOTS Peter Newell

HER DAIRY Peter Newell

TURVEY TOP Anonymous

WHAT THE PRINCE OF I DREAMT H. Cholmondeley-Pennell

THE DINKEY-BIRD Eugene Field

THE MAN IN THE MOON James Whitcomb Riley

THE STORY OF THE WILD HUNTSMAN Dr. Heinrich Hoffman

THE STORY OF PYRAMID THOTHMES Anonymous

THE STORY OF CRUEL PSAMTEK Anonymous

THE CUMBERBUNCE Paul West

THE AHKOND OF SWAT Edward Lear

A THRENODY George Thomas Lanigan

DIRGE OF THE MOOLLA OF KOTAL George Thomas Lanigan

RUSSIAN AND TURK Anonymous

LINES TO MISS FLORENCE HUNTINGDON Anonymous

COBBE'S PROPHECIES 1614

AN UNSUSPECTED FACT Edward Cannon

THE SORROWS OF WERTHER W. M. Thackeray

NONSENSE VERSES Charles Lamb

THE NOBLE TUCK-MAN Jean Ingelow

THE PESSIMIST Ben King

THE MODERN HIAWATHA Anonymous

ON THE ROAD Tudor Jenks

UNCLE SIMON AND UNCLE JIM Artemus Ward

POOR DEAR GRANDPAPA D'Arcy W. Thompson

THE SEA-SERPENT Planche

MELANCHOLIA Anonymous

THE MONKEY'S WEDDING Anonymous

MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP Anonymous

THE SUN J. Davis

THE AUTUMN LEAVES Anonymous

IN THE NIGHT Anonymous

POOR BROTHER Anonymous

THE BOY Eugene Field

THE SEA Anonymous

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL H. W. Longfellow

FIN DE SIÈCLE Newton Mackintosh

MARY JANE Anonymous

TENDER-HEARTEDNESS Col. D. Streamer

IMPETUOUS SAMUEL Col. D. Streamer

MISFORTUNES NEVER COME SINGLY Col. D. Streamer

AUNT ELIZA Col. D. Streamer

SUSAN Anonymous

BABY AND MARY Anonymous

THE SUNBEAM Anonymous

LITTLE WILLIE Anonymous

MARY AMES Anonymous

MUDDLED METAPHORS Tom Hood, Jr.

VILLON'S STRAIGHT TIP TO ALL CROSS COVES

                                       W. E. Henley

ODE TO THE HUMAN HEART Laman Blanchard

LIMERICKS Edward Lear

                                       Anonymous

                                       Cosmo Monkhouse

                                       Walter Parke

                                       George du Maurier

                                       Robert J. Burdette

                                       Gelett Burgess

                                       Bruce Porter

                                       Newton Mackintosh

                                       Anonymous

                                       Anonymous

                                       Anonymous

INTRODUCTION

On a topographical map of Literature Nonsense would be represented by a small and sparsely settled country, neglected by the average tourist, but affording keen delight to the few enlightened travellers who sojourn within its borders. It is a field which has been neglected by anthologists and essayists; one of its few serious recognitions being in a certain Treatise of Figurative Language, which says: Nonsense; shall we dignify that with a place on our list? Assuredly will vote for doing so every one who hath at all duly noticed what admirable and wise uses it can be, and often is, put to, though never before in rhetoric has it been so highly honored. How deeply does clever or quaint nonsense abide in the memory, and for how many a decade—from earliest youth to age's most venerable years.

And yet Hazlitt's Studies in Jocular Literature mentions six divisions of the Jest, and omits Nonsense!

Perhaps, partly because of such neglect, the work of the best nonsense writers is less widely known than it might be.

But a more probable reason is that the majority of the reading world does not appreciate or enjoy real nonsense, and this, again, is consequent upon their inability to discriminate between nonsense of integral merit and simple chaff.

  A jest's prosperity lies in the ear

  Of him that hears it. Never in the tongue

  Of him that makes it,

and a sense of nonsense is as distinct a part of our mentality as a sense of humor, being by no means identical therewith.

It is a fad at present for a man to relate a nonsensical story, and then, if his hearer does not laugh, say gravely: You have no sense of humor. That is a test story, and only a true humorist laughs at it. Now, the hearer may have an exquisite sense of humor, but he may be lacking in a sense of nonsense, and so the story gives him no pleasure. De Quincey said, None but a man of extraordinary talent can write first-rate nonsense. Only a short study of the subject is required to convince us that De Quincey was right; and he might have added, none but a man of extraordinary taste can appreciate first-rate nonsense. As an instance of this, we may remember that Edward Lear, the parent of modern nonsense-writers, was a talented author and artist, and a prime favorite of such men as Tennyson and the Earls of Derby; and John Ruskin placed Lear's name at the head of his list of the best hundred authors.

Don't tell me, said William Pitt, of a man's being able to talk sense; every one can talk sense. Can he talk nonsense?

The sense of nonsense enables us not only to discern pure nonsense, but to consider intelligently nonsense of various degrees of purity. Absence of sense is not necessarily nonsense, any more than absence of justice is injustice.

Etymologically speaking, nonsense may be either words without meaning, or words conveying absurd or ridiculous ideas. It is the second definition which expresses the great mass of nonsense literature, but there is a small proportion of written nonsense which comes under the head of language without meaning.

Again, there are verses composed entirely of meaningless words, which are not nonsense literature, because they are written with some other intent.

The nursery rhyme, of which there are almost as many versions as there are nurseries,

  Eena, meena, mona, mi,

  Bassalona, bona, stri,

  Hare, ware, frown, whack,

  Halico balico, we, wi, we, wack,

is not strictly a nonsense verse, because it was invented and used for counting out, and the arbitrary words simply take the place of the numbers 1, 2, 3, etc.

Also, the nonsense verses with which students of Latin composition are sometimes taught to begin their efforts, where words are used with no relative meaning, simply to familiarize the pupil with the mechanical values of quantity and metre, are not nonsense. It is only nonsense for nonsense' sake that is now under our consideration.

Doubtless the best and best-known example of versified words without meaning is Jabberwocky. Although (notwithstanding Lewis Carroll's explanations) the coined words are absolutely without meaning, the rhythm is perfect and the poetic quality decidedly apparent, and the poem appeals to the nonsense lover as a work of pure genius. Bayard Taylor is said to have recited Jabberwocky aloud for his own delectation until he was forced to stop by uncontrollable laughter. To us who know our Alice it would seem unnecessary to quote this poem, but it is a fact that among the general reading community the appreciators of Lewis Carroll are surprisingly few. An editor of a leading literary review, when asked recently if he had read Alice in Wonderland, replied, No, but I mean to. It is by the author of 'As in a looking-Glass,' is it not?

But of far greater interest and merit than nonsense of words, is nonsense of ideas. Here, again, we distinguish between nonsense and no sense. Ideas conveying no sense are often intensely funny, and this type is seen in some of the best of our nonsense literature.

A perfect specimen is the bit of evidence read by the White Rabbit at the Trial of the Knave of Hearts.[1] One charm of these verses is the serious air of legal directness which pervades their ambiguity, and another is the precision with which the metrical accent coincides exactly with the natural emphasis. They are marked, too, by the liquid euphony that always distinguishes Lewis Carroll's poetry.

A different type is found in verses that refer to objects in terms the opposite of true, thereby suggesting ludicrous incongruity, and there is also the nonsense verse that uses word effects which have been confiscated by the poets and tacitly given over to them.

A refrain of nonsense words is a favorite diversion of many otherwise serious poets.

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

is one of Shakespeare's many musical nonsense refrains.

[Footnote 1: She's all my Fancy painted him, page 20.]

Burns gives us:

  Ken ye aught o' Captain Grose?

      Igo and ago,

  If he's 'mang his freens or foes?

      Iram, coram, dago.

  Is he slain by Highlan' bodies?

      Igo and ago;

  And eaten like a weather haggis?

      Iram, coram, dago.

Another very old refrain runs thus:

  Forum, corum, sunt di-vorum,

      Harum, scarum, divo;

  Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band,