On The Edge: A Solo Hiker's Journey

On the Edge

A Solo Hiker’s Journey

© 2015 by Stacie J. Ourlian

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-1-62020-293-7

eISBN: 978-1-62020-398-9

Scripture quotations taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Cover Design & Page Layout by Hannah Nichols

EBook Conversion by Anna Raats

Photography by Stacie J. Ourlian

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Dedicated to the One who has helped me understand that life is a precious gift that’s worth one hundred percent effort, every day. Thank You, Jesus, for showing me the way through people, through experiences, and through faith. May all people come to know Your holy name and find peace in knowing You are always here, listening and ready to teach.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I feel blessed to have the opportunity to acknowledge those who have made this book possible. First and foremost, thank you to my mother, Sherry Hershey, for taking time to read my one- page stories when I was eight years old. Thank you for encouraging me and believing that I would, one day, become a published author. Also to my sister, Stephanie Krupinski, for emotional support and encouraging me to be the best person I can be. Thank you to my nieces and nephews for reminding me how great life can be!

Thank you to my eighth-grade English teacher, Sandy Yonker. When I was thirteen years old, I gave you one of my chapter books to read. You took it home and read it in your spare time. You not only edited the entire story, but you also taught me to put detail and description in everything I wrote. Thank you for your words of encouragement and helping me become a better writer.

Thank you to my aunt, Karen Riggan, for giving me a blank journal when I was ten years old. On the inside of the cover you had written, For you to write all your stories, then I can say I knew you when. . . . I held on to the journal, determined to prove you right and feeling encouraged by your words.

I feel blessed to have met so many people who have helped me become a stronger Christian. Bonnie Sorter, thank you for helping me create a close relationship with God and find a church. Thank you for your advice and helping me get through the difficult parts of life. Pastor Ron Schultz, thank you for furthering my education in Christ and sending me on the Christian retreat. Thank you for meeting with me over coffee and providing support that I needed. Pastor Mark Witte, thank you for providing me with the basic Christian faith, which allowed me to become a member of Grace Lutheran. Thank you for discussing the Bible with me on the phone and helping further my understanding.

Thank you to Ambassador International for choosing to publish this book and to my editor, Brenda Covert, for helping form it into a masterpiece I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Thank you to all the people whom I mention at the beginning of the book. Without the trials and tribulations I’ve gone through in the last four years, I don’t know that I would have actively sought a relationship with God. I wouldn’t change the past for anything in the world because I found God by going through it.

Most importantly, thank You, God, for loving me. Thank You for continuously watching over me, comforting me, encouraging me, and providing for me. Thank You for everything I’ve experienced in life, good and bad, because through it all, I found You. Continue to guide me every single second of the day so that I’m always going down a path of righteousness and truth. Thank You, God, for the beautiful mountains of Sedona and allowing me the chance to see part of the beauty You’ve created. Thank You for allowing me to be able to hike and giving me the gift to write. Most of all, thank You for this experience and for the amazing people You put in my path. To God be the glory!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page

Copyright Information

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1: Everything Is Meaningless

Chapter 2: Where’s My Map?

Chapter 3: Left or Right?

Chapter 4: Stop for Directions

Chapter 5: Expectations of the Future

Chapter 6: The Race to Judgment

Chapter 7: Reaching the Top

Photography Index

About the Author

Contact Information

I KNOW A SECRET. GOD WHISPERED IT INTO THE AIR AND SENT IT DOWN TO ME. MY HEART HEARD IT.

In John 16:33, Jesus said,

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

I needed a Savior to bring me peace. I was standing on the edge of a cliff, watching helplessly as pieces of my foundation crumbled around me, making life unpredictable. My life seemed to be going 90 mph while my mind was in slow motion. By the time the two connected, I was lost in body, mind, and soul. These seemingly negative things happening in my life were not planned and left me feeling hopeless, scared, and at the mercy of the world.

I had built my life on prediction and planning. I set my mind on a goal and would achieve it through dedication and hard work. I had life figured out. Nothing could hold me back from being successful with everything I did because I was willing to put in the time to make it perfect. Isn’t that what we learn in childhood? Study, share, love, believe, try harder. . . .

There’s a quote that reads, Everything I need to know, I learned in kindergarten. Here’s what I learned in kindergarten. Dad didn’t walk me into kindergarten because he was in prison. From three to five years old, I didn’t even have a memory of him aside from taking a picture by the painted mural of the Muskegon Correctional Facility and Cotton Facility in Jackson, both hours away from our house. My mom struggled to support my brother, sister, and me on a low income, so in school I had free lunch. The grocery store was for necessities and rarely for candy bars and gum in the checkout lane. Those items were considered special treats. My brother, sister, and I had to agree on one box of cereal at the store, while restaurants weren’t something I was familiar with at that age. I wore my sister’s clothes a lot of the time, something I can’t say I minded because I looked up to her (even if she found me to be an annoying five year old). My siblings and I didn’t have big, expensive toys, nor did we go on vacations.

Childhood also taught me that my sister was more popular, more beautiful, and more outgoing. I learned my brother was a better athlete. I came to the realization that my friends went to church, and we did not. They had married parents; I did not. They received multiple Christmas presents and would come to school showcasing them; I did not. I learned that when you let the dog out and nobody goes to get him, he ends up in the pound and eventually on a nice farm because it’s too expensive to keep him.

I also learned the normal things in kindergarten—like when my big brother counts to three, something is going to happen. My older sister didn’t want me wearing her clothes or hanging out with her. When Mom says clean, she means we have to lift things up and wipe under them. Don’t leave dirty dishes by the bed for over a week. The dog will eat anything you leave out, including Hershey’s Kisses (that will cause a bigger mess later). Your brother will hide your toothbrush just to see if you brush your teeth in the morning. A new box of cereal doesn’t last long in a house of three children. If you cry, Mom will come to your rescue and yell at whomever you blame.

When I was five years old, my father was released from prison and went into a halfway house. It was then I learned about interrupted sleep, fighting, and being scared. During the day my father was given permission to leave the halfway house to look for a job. Instead, he came into our house multiple times, threatening to take me from my mom and grabbing me from a deep sleep. I’d awaken to find them pulling at me, with my mom screaming at him to let me go. I learned that the happy family you see on old TV shows with the parents and siblings laughing and going on vacation together simply did not exist. It was imaginary—something that someone created.

Later in life, I can tell you that I looked back and learned so much more. I learned new designer clothes don’t determine who you are. The brand of food doesn’t matter as long as you’re receiving nutrients. The car you drive doesn’t matter as long as it can get you