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Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

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add this to your playlist exclam. Something to say before letting off melodically. See also here’s one from my new album; here’s one written by our drummer; hey Google, what’s this song?; you’re gonna hear me roar; our survey said etc.

Amazon prime n. Pungent, fizzy, deep yellow liquid produced and bottled by overworked delivery drivers and left at the roadside or in your hedge. Trucker’s tizer or kidney cider.

backdoor eviction 1. n. On Big Brother, when a housemate is hurriedly ushered out of the rear of the house and denied the oxygen of publicity. 2. n. A stool which is hurriedly ushered out of one’s nasty nick and denies the public oxygen.

barcode n. A poorly executed Robert Robinson-style combover featuring alternate, varying width stripes of dark hair and slap-head such that the wearer’s noggin could be scanned at the supermarket till.

barse snacks n. Tasty morsels of organic detritus to be found in and around the Tuns Lane interchange, considered a delicacy to Continental palates. Bum crumbs.

bognosis n. A considered forecast regarding the nature of an imminent download. ‘Yarooh, Carrie. My bognosis is that last night’s Savoy Grill chicken phall is about to make a painful exeunt.’ ‘Well don’t forget to put the lid up this time, Boris.’

  The AEC Regal Mk.IV; a 1950s single decker bus with a 9.6 litre 6-cylinder diesel engine horizontally mid-mounted under the floor and such hard springing that the in its schoolboy passengers.

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