“I’M EMBARRASSED TO SAY THIS, but I’m a bad Buddhist.” This was Rachel’s confession to our Buddhist group at the end of our weekly sitting. Meditation hadn’t ended her suffering, so she must be doing it wrong. After years of practice, her preoccupation with self had stubbornly refused to go away, so she must be a bad Buddhist.
To Rachel’s relief, everyone in the group nodded in recognition. She had had the courage to speak to the shadow side of Buddhism’s promise of healing—the misperception that if practice does not take away your suffering, then there’s something wrong with your practice.