THE DARK ARTS

It’s dark and eerily cold. If we launch out of our high-piled blanketed beds and wipe the condensation off the window, there could be mist or fog or that wave-hogging nemesis with his car packed and hooning toward our local break. Nevertheless, today could be a cracker if we snaffle a few waves before “the grind” (after the coffee grind, of course). But let’s not race ahead. Before we leave our cosy warm beds, chuck on some clothes and throw our boards in the car, what do we check? The surf reports. No point becoming human icicles ’til we know for sure. So, which one’s the best? More to the point, how can it benefit me—us?

Over the years as science and technology has evolved, we’ve learnt to trust the most accurate gurus in the industry. Some of their eccentric followers may cry from the cobbled-stoned streets of Instagram or Facebook or some other pixelated reality: “Make way for the modern shaman.” The rest of us simply refer to this rare breed of frothing boffins as … forecasters. Well, we’ve cornered one and pounded him with questions, hopeful that we’ll somehow understand the Dark Arts of forecasting spells and swells, so we can be first aboard the next unadulterated swell train.

Q: When did you start surfing?