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SWARM WELCOME

he most doomed thing you can be in a videogame is a tutorial dad. If you’re a father reading this and you’ve recently taught your child how to shoot apples begins, and, unfortunately, for the first hour, it feels cloyingly familiar. You watch your family get butchered. The baddies are cartoonishly bad. And you can only escape by scampering around the Inquisition’s inept search team.

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