THE POWER OF hope
In 2003, Jocelyn gave birth to a son, Jack, her third child with husband P.J. Here, she writes about Jack’s autism diagnosis, six years after they were first told their daughter Lily was autistic.
One morning, when Jack was 13 months old, I noticed he was acting strangely. No longer a bright-eyed, smiley toddler, he went into a short trance, his eyes unfocused. He was also starting to fixate on strange things: two power points symmetrically placed on opposite walls in our lounge room. Repeatedly, he would walk from one side of the room to the other to examine them. My autism radar switched on.
I interrupted him and, as I had done with Lily, read to him by putting him on my lap facing me, so I could hold the book up and he could see both it and my face at the same time. After reading several books, I let him get down again. He went straight back to the power points, checking on their symmetry again and again. I took him out to the park and down to Tamarama Beach. A soon as we got home, he started doing his thing with the power points again. I felt a cold stone forming in my gut. Fear again.
A few days later I realised I hadn’t seen Jack pointing recently. It was a skill he had now lost. I knew losing the ability or desire to point was a