It's hard to say something interesting about something uninteresting-- so I won't try. It tastes exactly what you'd expect lowfat, ultra-high temp pasteurized, mass-produced chocolate milk to taste like-- inoffensively un-chocolaty, forgettably thin, pleasantly smooth, and blandly balanced. If mediocrity was the goal, they knocked it out of the park.
Beefy creamline body that is asked to handle a lot of cocoa flavor, and it does so magnificently. The bold, medium cocoa presence adds to the girth and comes with a bit of a texture on the back end- but it still feels copacetic and is enjoyable to the last drop. Sweetness is kept to a supporting role, which furthers the chocolaty/creamy punch and lets it shine in the aftertaste. Excellent stuff.
Delicious, sharp-ish malty flavor resonates throughout, seemingly in lieu of a cocoa flavor-- sounds like a knock, but it's actually very tasty. The salty/malty flavor pairs well with the (relatively) thin viscosity and lovely creamline base. Fans of chocolate malt- take notice-- this will not disappoint.
Remarkably subtle-- and that's not a euphamism for bland. Upon first sip, its extremely lithe yet creamy base dances on the palate and leaves you with dark-ish cocoa footprints that form a cumulative indulgence rarely experienced in potable dairy confection. There's a maturity to the experience-- led by the uniquely delicious cocoa flavor, and enhanced by its confidence to challenge two traditionally commonly held chocolate milk paradigms-- (1) sweetness ie essential [false], and (2) the thicker the better [also false]. Drink this with deliberation, savor each sip, and be better for the experience.
Buttery, creamy, chocolaty, salty, grassy-- not necessarily in that order, but I'm doing my best to gather my thoughts after a mind-blowing experience. This is a glove-like fit for my personal tastes and proclivities, and it just gets everything right. There's nothing more rewarding than the deliciously warm, grassy afterglow on the back end of a fully-burdened cream flavor-- a reward that feels earned after many hundreds of pedestrian chocolate milks-- not pedestrian because they tried to be, but because they failed to try. Bravo.
Tastes and drinks very much like its pasteurized counterpart-- it's highlighted by a heavy sweetness (first) and a substantial cocoa flavor (second) that peaks early and stays late. The thin viscosity helps to deliver the flavor quickly and fully thorughout the mouth, which may feel a bit overwhelming for those expecting something a bit more subtle.
Wow- bold and very defined coconut flavor-- it's definitely the main feature here. It's still very sweet, but there's synergy with the (supporting) cocoa flavor atop the agile creamline base. The bouquet is impressive as well-- it smells like an appetizing sunscreen (if such a thing existed) and is sure to give you a unique drinkable dairy experience!
Powerful caramel flavor upfront that lasts until the end-- tastes much more like a salted caramel / chocolate mixture with a heavy dose of sweetness than it does S'mores (chocolate / marshmallow / graham cracker). For my tastes, it's far too sweet, and the caramel-like flavor is distractingly strong. It's the first and only S'mores milk I've ever tried, so I very much appreciate the innovation and novelty here, but the execution is a bit off for my tastes.
A uniquely chocolate-forward cookies & cream flavor, which is a pleasant departure from the typical flavor profile-- if I didn't see the label, I would've assumed this was straight up chocolate milk. It's sweeter than it is chocolaty, and that is the prevailing presence in the early and late stages of the sip, with cocoa peaking in the middle.
Beautifully thin and smooth creamline body with a substantially sweet and chocolaty punch dominating the experience. The hefty cocoa presence remains throughout, and if you've got a sweet tooth, this stuff will definitely find it.
Whoa-- way more sweet than I was expecting-- it was actually so powerfully cloying that it stung the back of the throat. I have to assume that this is not intentional and I got a particularly heavy-handed batch-- as I've had lots of this genre and it has never registered as painfully sweet. In an effort to look past that, there is a decent cocoa flavor (and gorgeous dark brown coloration) that is getting drowned out by the sugary onslaught. Texture-wise, it's got a bit of grit from the cocoa presence (again, which seems above and beyond for the lactose free, private-label genre,which I appreciate) and feels substantial and congruent with its 2% base. If you've got a sweet tooth, this will find it, and rot it out.
From the drop-dead gorgeous look of the unshaken bottle (chocolate at bottom, cream at top) to the excellent high-creaminess-to-thin-viscosity ratio, this is a uniquely delicious treat that drinks quickly (gone before you know it) and truly leaves you wanting more. The sweet/salty balance is finely tuned, the texture is fantastically lithe, and the cocoa presence is tasty and light. Perhaps the creamy base could shoulder more cooca flavor, or maybe that's me getting overzealous. I do have a problem, after all.
Smooth and well balanced on all fronts-- delivering an accurate and tasty cookies & cream flavor. This has done well to keep the sweetness to a manageable level and not try to do 'too much'-- which a lot of chocolate-adjacent milks tend to do. I appreciate the competence and once again the balance-- I'm surprised that this is a limited edition by Shamrock Farms, as it ranks (to me) as one of the better offerings they've come up with to date.
Unfortunately, this one has turned to the dark side well before its 'sell by' date-- perhaps it was handled poorly in transit or by the retailer. I will look for another opportunity to review this in the near future. Of course I took a sip anyway (can't help myself). It was rough.
Confident upfront saltiness sets the tone for a modeslty grassy onslaught of creamy goodness to which many aspire, but few attain. The medium-to-malty cocoa flavor pops in the latter half of the sip, tapers slowly amidst the buttery afterglow, before finally exiting like a gracious houseguest-- leaving you wanting more. So buy more than you think you need.
Not as thick or (fakely) sweet as the 'Knockout Chocolate' flavor-- but it still carries plenty of heft and an odd peanut-adjacent flavor that caused me to bristle at first, but subsequent sips beat my tastebuds into submission where it became palatable (but no more enjoyable). There was an element of 'stop resisting' [insert police brutality meme]. Nothing about the flavor or drinking experience approaches 'good' or even 'ok'. The aftertaste is an unpleasant continuation of its preceding sip; I would seriously struggle for motivation if this were my post-workout 'reward.'
Confident upfront saltiness sets the tone for a modeslty grassy onslaught of creamy goodness to which many aspire, but few attain. The medium-to-malty cocoa flavor pops in the latter half of the sip, tapers slowly amidst the buttery afterglow, before finally exiting like a gracious houseguest-- leaving you wanting more. So buy more than you think you need.
Surprisingly bland, and I mean that in a good way. The sweeteners aren't out of control, the texture isn't overly thick or chalky, and the cocoa flavor is subtle, if not pancake-thin, but identifiable nonetheless. Usually protein shakes slither and writhe out of their openings like a (somehow still alive) jellied eel-- and in this case, it's, well, directionally milky (but not milky) and it doesn't try to do too much. And it largely achieves that (not much). And it doesn't offend terribly in the process. Backhanded praise is still praise. A score of 2.0 is generous.
Disturbingly thick and chalky, with no positive flavor attributes and a sharp yet playful fake-sweetener twang to the uvula. Impressive enough stats-- 20g protein, 1g sugar, 5g fiber, etc.-- however, it's living proof that there's no biological 'free lunch' as the saying goes. Bad taste and a worse feel, this leans more 'appetite suppressant' than the intended 'meal replacement.'
Though the ingredients don't differ (except caffeine content) In side-by-side comparison, this has a noticeably less-cloying upfront sweetness than its lower-ceffeine counterpart, making it feel slightly more balanced. The unpleasantly heavy chalkiness is still present in the latter half of the sip-- almost complelling you to take another sip-- which of course won't improve the situation. Like downing a bunch of water in an attempt to allay an undesired spiciness in your mouth. Anyway, I'm starting to feel the buzz a couple minutes into the can-- so the caffeine is definitely there and does its job well.
