Power, reverence and sexuality - Facing desire in pastoral care

Power, Reverence, and Sexuality - Facing desire in pastoral care NACS, Oslo 2011 Lisa Rudolfsson & Inga Tidefors Dept. of Psychology, University of Gothenburg [email protected] www.gu.se Background Part of a project concerning pastoral care and victims of sexual abuse, funded by the Swedish Research Council. Ongoing study: preliminary analysis Facing desire when caring for confidants: Clerics discussed feelings provoked when perceiving that a confidant was attracted to them, and strategies to cope with such feelings Psychological concepts of transference and Counter transference www.gu.se Background, Cont. Pastoral Care Interpersonal setting Cleric meet confidants in a situation of personal need (spiritual, physical, emotional, social) Emotional processes Cleric and confidant may both contribute to interpersonal processes that may hurt the other and may determinate success or failure of pastoral care www.gu.se Background, cont. Transference Process in analysis or therapy (pastoral care) Patients (confidants) place certain feelings onto the therapist (cleric) Freud: Patients often seemed to fall in love with him (first seen as an obstruction) In therapy the therapist can interpret the patients’ transference, to help restore more “normal” feelings by responding in ways unlike that of the person upon which the original feelings were based www.gu.se Background, cont. Counter Transference Unconscious response, always is aroused within the therapist Result of the patients' impact on the unconscious feelings of the therapist him/herself Contains the therapists' reaction to - the patients' transference - the material that the patient introduces for analysis - the patients' reaction to the therapist as a person www.gu.se Background, cont. Counter Transference, cont. When the patient affects the therapists' unsolved problems: Distress reaction when unexpectedly finding something un-revealed within themselves The therapists' defensive reactions of distress = Counter transference www.gu.se Background, Cont. Pastoral care and Transference Symbolic conflict - Father/mother figure, representative of God = Ambivalence towards authority (admiration and respect vs. rebellion and hostility) - Personified with God, subject to representatives of God (God as he is, God as the congregation sees him, God as I see him) Sexual transference in pastoral care - Idealized father/mother figure: Idealized cleric? (Trying to win his/her approval) Negative reactions (hostility, anger) Sexually provocative reactions (acting in seductive ways) www.gu.se Background, Cont. Pastoral care and Counter transference Difficult processes for therapists to handle - Even more so for a cleric? (more socially and emotionally involved with the people whom they work with) A cleric who is afraid of his/her own sexuality may deny erotic feelings in situations where he/she need to be aware that he/she is responding in a sexually provocative or reactive way www.gu.se Method Denominations studied: the Church of Sweden and the Swedish Catholic Church (Pentecostal Church to be included) Participants contacted through mail (Church of Sweden) and recruited through the Swedish Catholic bishop Focus group interviews (N = 3): 4-5 participants/group, gender separated groups, lasting approximately 2 hours each Transcripts analyzed according to thematic analysis www.gu.se Results / Themes 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care 1.1 The secluded area as sexually charged 1.2 The image of clerics as sexually desirable (”purity” and ”innocence”) 1.3 Caring for people in strong emotional states can be sexually charged 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.1 Fear of misinterpretations 2.2 Fear of being falsely accused of misconduct 2.3 Minimizing or refusing physical contact 2.4 Distanced attitude and something being lost www.gu.se 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care …I think that they [confidants] can express… uh that, something that has to do with friendship /.../ "If only you were... my, what if I had met you”, and so on, /…/ [they] can express that you’re their dream uh, dream partner... heart-to-heart, not in the way that you’re their minister but that you’re their friend, and things like that. I think, that I’ve experienced that quite often, I think. Female minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, cont. 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care 1.1. The secluded area as sexually charged So, the secluded area, this situation of being one-on-one with each other, uh... it's a specific, so the environment and the specific energies that somehow seem to uh, that you should not underestimate /.../ maybe it [crossing sexual boundaries] couldn’t happen to anyone but uh, you shouldn’t underestimate the energies that come into play... Male minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, cont. 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care 1.2. The image of clerics as sexually desirable Yes probably, I was exposed to a ... this happened only a few weeks ago, there was this woman who wanted to get in my pants just because she found out that I was a minister Male minister, Church of Sweden But there’s something exciting about ministers in the Church of Sweden, and not just in the Church of Sweden, but there's something exciting about clerics Female minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, cont. 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care 1.2. Cont. The image of clerics as sexually desirable (pictures of “purity” and “innocence”) It is assumed that a minister is innocent somehow huh, and there’s some sort of, it... yes of purity in this, that in this room someone is clean and someone is unclean, and it's a very strange feeling. /.../ And when people are, well trying to get physical contact as well. Hugs and... and, and stuff ... so it's hard to know where this belongs so to say, is it to test, "can I touch her here, or can’t I?” Female minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, Cont. 1. Images of transference: Sexual desire in pastoral care 1.3. Caring for people in strong emotional states can be sexually charged …but I wouldn’t want to touch someone who had just lost a loved one /…/ especially when a person is that exposed having lost a loved one, it is, and it’s so charged that I try to avoid that, maybe even too much Male minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire …more careful than you actually need to be / ... / that you don’t uh, necessarily put yourself in situations where you’re alone with, with people who are difficult or hurt, wounded. But of course, sometimes pastoral care demands that you’re actually alone with your confidant. Male minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.1. Fear of misinterpretations ...‘cause it may also be a bit of a psychological game where a young person become more and more [sexually] provocative just because you get the wrong feelings going Male minister, Church of Sweden ... I keep myself from uh... here we have a, a kindergarten outside. Wonderful little children, uh, I don’t stop to say hi to them / ... / I, I greet children and so formally, but I don’t stop to do anything with them, with any child. / ... / So I mean, so in [native south European country] you would run after them. No, you have to be careful Priest, Catholic Church www.gu.se Results, cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.2. Fear of being falsely accused of misconduct And of course it’s [clerics and sexuality] charged, and I mean… that’s always a risk somehow. ’Cause there are people who like to allude to that too, and who think that’s really exciting. /…/ So in that way, with open doors you try to protect yourself as far as possible, not to end up in that situation. Male minister, Church of Sweden Uh, ‘cause we know that in the Church we also meet people who aren’t ... that has special needs ... and uh, some of them when they don’t get their needs met, they avenge terribly, and in our days it´s enough ... spreading rumors, or even file a complaint /... / and even if you can show later on that there was, that it probably didn’t happen that way, the damage is already done. Priest, Catholic Church www.gu.se Results, Cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.3. Minimizing or refusing physical contact I told her "we can talk about anything, your marriage as we've talked about and we can talk about this and that stuff, but I don´t want any physical contact," and I stand by that. She wanted to, and it was so obvious that she wanted to /.../ she came up and gave me a hug... just because she was happy to see me and then I told her afterwards, "I don’t want that”. Male minister, Church of Sweden …there have been times when confidants have come up to me with their arms out, and where I very ostentatiously have put out my hand. Male minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, Cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.4. Distanced attitude and Something being lost …you [learn] not to ”drown” in people. ’Cause we know that people also have a tendency to be sticky, to exploit and you have to avoid that Priest, Catholic Church …and it sounds awful when I say it out loud, and when you print it out later, but truly nothing upsets me anymore. And as a human I can feel that’s so sad, when I go out of my professional self and become something else Female minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Results, Cont. 2. Counter transference reactions: Facing desire 2.4. Cont. Distanced attitude and Something being lost But there is also a risk, you feel that there’s something lost, that, the positive parts of physical contact, where so much can happen just by... touching eh ... and, the longer I've worked with, the more experienced I’ve become over these years, these... [inaudible] and the more careful Male minister, Church of Sweden …in my experience, I think I’ve become a different person in relation to others… not more suspicious on everybody else, but more suspicious on myself and on how I behave Male minister, Church of Sweden www.gu.se Discussion Those participating, more open? The clerical position = Position of power and reverence which can be sexually desirable Pastoral care involves meeting people in grief and in strong emotional states. Psychological structures surrounding experiences of being cared for/attaching to someone could also provoke sexual feelings, as these systems are intertwined www.gu.se Discussion, cont. Counter transference arises within the cleric as a result of the confidants' impact on unconscious feelings We see the image of being desired This described image involve both the one in inferior position desiring the “helper”, and the one in power position perceiving/expecting to be desired by the confidant Desire (demanded/expected) as creating hierarchal structures and maintaining positions of power Implications beyond the sphere of ministry and Church? www.gu.se Discussion, Cont. Focusing on pastoral care What is lost when clerical reactions limits good aspects of physical contact and closeness, and creates a distanced attitude (suspicion, feeling of something being lost, and a closed off “professional self”)? www.gu.se Concluding remarks In therapy the caregivers' transference interpretations can bring long-term stable changes in the patient’s life (e.g. Gabbard & Westen, 2003). In particular patients with low-quality of object relations benefits more from therapy with transference interpretations than without (e.g. Høglend et al., 2006; 2008). Clergy being accessed as both counselors and mental health workers (e.g. Hendron, Irving & Taylor, 2011). Pastoral care is a growing part of ministry (e.g. DeMarinis, 2003; Hendron, Irving and Taylor, 2011). www.gu.se Concluding remarks, Cont. Processes of transference and counter transference are present in pastor care Influencing cleric, confidant, and effect of care given Pastoral care giving clerics being aware of therapeutic processes may be better equipped for individual care sessions Beneficial to both confidant and cleric Make clerics aware www.gu.se Thank you for listening! Lisa Rudolfsson University of Gothenburg [email protected] www.gu.se