Source:Soundwaves

Dear Marvel,
I think your comic is brill, but could you get rid of some of the back-up stories and features – ie: Robot Round-up, Robo capers, Fact Files and Machine Man – you are wasting valuable Transformer space with these. Could we have more posters of scenes from the TV series, and more 'Hello from Hasbro'? Here are some questions – 1) Are The Enemy Within and other recent stories all set before The Autobots' Last Stand? 2) Are we going to see some more of the new Transformers in your comic?
Ryan Gogherty,
Cardiff.

As we mentioned on page 2, there are some big changes on the way for Transformers; some stories take a rest, and others will be given a new lease of life. Don't miss any of our upcoming issues!
All Transformer stories seen since issue 8 have been set before The Autobots' Last Stand – see our Story So Far feature on pages 3 & 4, for precisely where they fit into the continuity. As for the new Transformers – see next letter.

Dear Transformers,
In issue 14 there was a letter asking about Transformers not yet on the market. Well I'd like to ask a similar sort of question, only more to do with the stories.
Y'see, there are some new kinds of Transformers out called Dinobots, Insecticons, and Jumpstarters, and I was wondering if they'd be appearing in your (brill) comic at all.
Concerning your comic: The Enemy Within – fab! Please Mirage, save Brawn. Matt & the Cat – hilarious! Machine Man – grippin' stuff! So, until Ratchet runs out of spare parts, Make Mine Transformers!
P.S. – I hope Ravage splatters Starscream into itsy-bitsy chippy cogs and nuts!
Richard Hunt,
London NW2.

Dear Transformers,
I like your comic very much, but I'm afraid I have a few complaints. Firstly, the actual Transformers story is far too short; secondly, there are not enough competitions; and thirdly, the Transformer toys break too easily. My favourite Transformer is Starscream.
Daniel Richardson,
Kettering, Northants.

Hopefully, Daniel, recent issues will have rendered your complains redundant. Our Transformers story is up to a minimum of eleven pages an issue (issue 26's story will be a giant 23 pages long!), and every issue since 21 has featured a competition, with many more in the pipeline. As for the toys, with anything that is constantly being changed from one configuration to another, care must be taken.

Dear Marvel,
This is Mirage, writing to you from the Ark. I'll have to make this letter brief, as Optimus has given me a job to do, and may check up on me at any moment.
First of all, I'd like to say how much I enjoyed The Enemy Within. I think I did a great job saving Brawn, if I do say so myself. And I'm really glad I've got this new power. One complaint though, since you've decreased the space for our story it hasn't been so good – I mean, I'm not in it as much! And please get rid of Planet Terry as soon as possible.
– Oh-oh, here comes Optimus, I... –
– No, I'm not writing a latter, I was just... –
– Ouch! –
– Oh well, back to work! –
Mirage (alias Zachary Gallagher),
Birtsall, Leics.

Hmmm – how come Mirage is writing to us when he's de-activated and hanging upside down in the Ark? Mind you, knowing the postal service...

Dear Transformers,
I think your comic is great and have collected it from the start. All the stories are brilliant, with only Machine Man failing to come up to the normal Marvel standard. Could you please tell me (as I don't collect the toys) if Soundwave has had his name changed to Cassette Man, as this was how he was listed in the Decepticon check-list? Also, could you tell me if any of the new Transformers will be appearing in the comic soon?
David Jenkins,
Gosport, Hants.

Soundwave tells us that the carbon-based entities that construct toy facsimilies of both he and his fellow Decepticons are prone on occasion to refer to him as Cassette Man. He would like it made plain that this is a courtesy he extends only to these select few, and would remind everyone that his proper designation is Soundwave – or Sir! And we can tell you that plans are afoot to feature the Dinobots, the Insecticons, the Constructicons and Jetfire in coming stories.

Dear Editor,
I think The Transformers comic is brilliant. A comic all about robots is very different and exciting. I have a few questions for you:
1. Will there be any new stories coming into Transformers?
2. Why are Iron Hide and Ratchet different colours to those on the toys?
3. How did Shockwave come to be on Earth before any of the other Transformers?
No name supplied,
Hitchin,
Herts.

A quick round of answers: 1) Not so much new stories, as new looks to both Transformers and Machine Man – Keep watching, and all will be revealed! 2) A re-spray job??! 3) He didn't actually arrive before them. Full details of Shockwave's touchdown on Earth will be seen in upcoming stories in a few issues time.

Dear Starscream,
I know you were a bit nasty to Ravage at the beginning of The Enemy Within, but it wasn't fair what he did to you in return. Blasting your insides out just wasn't nice at all. I strongly suggest you don't upset him again, you wouldn't want Ravage to turn Savage!
Justin Carrick,
Burgess Hill, West Sussex.

We've passed your suggestion on to Starscream. The suggestion he made in return just isn't printable!

Dear Sirs,
Could you please print in your Transformers comic a happy 10th birthday to my son, Stephen Edwards on, or around August 7th. It will cheer him up a little to see his name in print, you see, his Megatron toy broke after only two weeks and he has been patiently awaiting news from the toy shop. So please put a smile on his face, at least for one morning.
A. Edwards,
Birmingham.

Dear Editor,
I am from America, visiting my Grandmother in Wigan. I have many of the Transformers toys and have just started reading your Transformers comic – which I enjoy very much. However, I'm not too keen on Machine Man, Matt and the Cat, and Chromobots, and I agree with Lewis Mills when he says that Planet Terry is babyish. I would like to see more of the Transformers and less of the other stuff.
My Grandmother has ordered the comic on my behalf and is going to mail it to me in the States.
Jason Morris,
Virginia, U.S.A.

Glad to have you with us, Jason. Have we any other American fans out there? If so, write and let us know, we'd love to hear from you. And is next issue's 23 pages of Transformers story enough for you, Jason?

Dear Soundwaves,
This is my first letter to any comic and I just felt I had to write. It's great, it's fab, and it's much better. If you haven't guessed what I'm talking about, it is, of course, issue 22 of The Transformers. I loved the cover especially, who did it? And the way the Robot War feature showed the full chronology of the various Transformer stories was great.
I have every issue of both the British and American Transformers comics – so I know what's going to happen in future stories.
Stuart Taylor,
Bournemouth.

Thanks for the words of praise, Stuart. We were moderately pleased with issue 22, but we think there's still room for improvement. Judging by your letter, and others we've received, the majority of Transformers readers liked it, though. And don't be too sure you know all that's coming up in our lead story!

Dear Soundwaves,
I, and my class-mate, Brian McFarlane have a disagreement. I say that Ravage is a jaguar, while he insists that Ravage is a black dog. Who's right?
Christopher Chung,
Carluke, Lanarkshire.

You're right, Christopher. Ravage's closest look-alike on Earth is the jaguar.

Dear Soundwaves,
Well, I've just got the Transformers Summer Special, and I have to say that it's brill! I've only been getting your excellent mag since issue 19 (although I have read issues 6 and 13) and I must say, you've made it easy to catch up on the storyline. By the end of issue 22, I was falling off my chair with joy and enthusiasm over the new look.
I'm with you all the way,
Sean Keefe,
Warrington.

Dear Transformers,
While my brother and I were reading his Transformers comic last week, we noticed that in the advert for the Decepticon planes, the pictures of Starscream, Ramjet and Dirge were mixed up. Could you please correct this or explain it?
Hiroko Short (hope we spelt that right!),
Lancaster.

Greetings, carbon-based units, Soundwave here. And not a Dinobot (puttup!) in sight. You may have noted the absence of this page in the last two issues. This was because I was involved in the final overthrow of the humans who had been answering your correspondence, a move which leaves me in total control of this letters page. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Dear Editor,
I think your comic is brilliant. I have been collecting it for a fairly long time but there are still a few things that puzzle me. For instance, in issue 24's Soundwaves 'the Constructicons' were mentioned. Who are they? I've never heard of them before. Are they Autobots or Decepticons?
Daniel Mallender,
Milton Keynes, Bucks.

Many readers have written in to ask about my Decepticon friends, the Constructicons. The answer is brutally simple: wait and see! However, one carbon-based unit who is clearly in the know about my new colleagues is John Wade. He has drawn them all in his picture, which I've reproduced here. Confused? Good. Issue 36 holds the answers.

Dear Soundwave,
I am writing to ask you a question; why don't Decepticons and Autobots get on together? They both have good leaders, and could probably work well together.
Richard Adams,
Northampton.

This is clearly an example of the human condition known as insanity.

Dear Soundwave,
What do you get if you cross yourself with a cake?
Answer: A gateau blaster!
Philip Dobbie,
Durham.

This is evidently what you earthlings term humour. I am examining the implications of this 'joke' before deciding whether to set Ravage on you.

Dear Transformers,
Here is a poem for your fab comic:
My first is in Astro, but never in Train,
My second is in crackers, but not in insane,
My third is in Seaspray, but never in spring,
My fourth ain't in Blitz, but is in the Wing,
My fifth is in Star, and also in Scream,
My sixth ain't in Smoke, but always in Screen,
My seventh is in Grapple but never in crane,
And my whole is an evil Decepticon jet plane!
Who am I?
Richard Jones,
Liverpool.

Such constructive prose is worthy of great praise. Well done, terran. Other readers – it's up to you to solve Richard's puzzle.

Dear Transformers,
I am enjoying the Transformers TV series being screened in the Roland Rat spot on TV-AM, and would like to ask you some questions about both this series, and about the comic. 1) Who is Jetfire? 2) Why were the Dinobots created, when the dinosaurs they were modelled on died out millions of years beforehand? 3) Are Powerglide, Tracks and other new Autobots going to be appearing in the comic? 4) Who are the green Decepticon warriors featured in the TV series, and will they be appearing in the comic? 5) How can back issues be ordered, and how can readers subscribe? 6) And finally, please make Machine Man and The Transformers the only strips in the comic.
P.S. – I love the TV series music. Why not make a record of it?
Stephen Lindon,
London SW20.

Dear Editor,
I am writing to say how much I enjoy the Transformers cartoon series on the Roland Rat show. I have my Mum video it, and I watch it at least eighteen times a day.
I also subscribe to your comic, have the Summer Special, and the Ladybird book – Autobots' Lightning Stike. I love them all. Could you tell me though, why the stories differ a little from each. My personal favourite is the comic version.
James Owen,
Hambelton, North Yorks.

So as to make the telling of our victory over Autobots (puttup!) as straight-forward as possible, this comic relates the accurate details of the trouncing we have given them. Other mediums – such as the TV series – use the basic facts, and build up stories around them.

Dear Soundwave,
I get both Transformers and Secret Wars. In issue 9, page 5, of Secret Wars, on the Daily Bugle front page is a caption that reads: "STOP PRESS – ERUPTION IN OREGON. Reports are coming in of an eruption of the long dormant volcano, Mount St. Hilary, in Oregon. Scientists are baffled by this freak event – Mount St. Hilary was long ago pronounced safe. More news as this develops."
Is this the beginning of Autobot and Decepticon life as we know it?
Scott Main,
Boston, Yorks.

A quick scan of my Earth newspaper files reveals that the New York Daily Bugle – a fairly primitive form of communication, if I may say so – dated February 7th, 1984, did indeed carry this report. And yes, this was the eruption that caused the Ark to repair all the Transformer lifeforms within.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just read Transformers issue 25 and read Stuart Taylor's letter. I have also seen the American version of The Transformers, but by the time I'd caught on to this, number 9 had already come out. I looked around the shop for some back numbers, but could only find issue 6. I have been searching for the missing numbers ever since. I asked my cousin what I should do, and he advised waiting for the next comic mart. The problem is – I can't wait that long. Is there anywhere I could obtain coming and past issues of the American Transformers comic without having to travel vast distances. I would very much like to be able to collect both American and British versions.
Chris Vazanias.
London NW9.

I would draw your attention to the classified advertisements section that appears in this publication from time to time (next issue, to be precise). There you will find the names and addresses of comic shops that provide a mail order service. You should be able to obtain the comics you require through these. But having said that, why bother? They'll be printed here, in full colour and on a higher quality paper.

Dear Soundwaves,
I have been a fan of your comic since it first appeared, but one thing still puzzles me. What kind of bird do Laserbeak and Buzzsaw transform into?
Erwin Tiglao,
London.

(Send full address for your mini-Autobot!)
The nearest Earthern relative to my winged colleagues is the bird known as a Condor.

Dear Ratchet,
I feel really sorry for you. Why? Because you've been standing outside Mount St. Hilary for ages. Why can't you fight Rumble and Frenzy, after all, you are bigger and stronger than they are.
David Thompson,
Sale, Cheshire.

Dear Transformers,
I am a girl, and my brother and I love your comic and the toys very much. I have Jazz, Huffer and Gears, and my favourite – Cliffjumper. My brother has Starscream, Soundwave, Rumble, Buzzsaw and Kickback (the Insecticon). He often attacks my toys with his – and wins! It looks as though I'll soon be doing my version of The Autobots' Last Stand! Can you get the real Cliffjumper (my hero) to come and help me out?
Elaine Calvert,
Catterick, North Yorks.

It sounds as though your brother has the right idea. Perhaps I should send the real Buzzsaw to help him out! Cliffjumper (puttup!) is where he should be – hanging deactivated in the Ark.

Dear Soundwave,
After reading issue 25 of The Transformers I was hooked. Even though I'd only started reading your fab comic at issue 22 (which was excellent), I was soon up to date with the story (thanks to the Robot War feature in that issue). I love the new Fact Files, and I'm looking forward to info on Shockwave tremendously. I hope Megatron trashes him!
Neil Davies,
Swindon.

I passed your comments on to Commander Shockwave. Feel lucky that he considers offensive action against Carbon-Based Units to be a waste of time!

Dear Soundwaves,
I have just had a brilliant idea. As well as 'Your Choice' selections, why don't you print lists of readers' top ten best Transformer toys? Mine are: 1) Megatron; 2) Jazz; 3) Optimus Prime; 4) Soundwave; 5) Prowl; 6) Starscream; 7) Ravage; 8) Ratchet; 9) Cliffjumper; 10) Grimlock.
Anonymous Unit,
Liverpool.

FOURTH! FOURTH!? How dare you put me behind the likes of Jazz (puttup!) and Optimus Prime (puttup!)! Nevertheless, a good idea, human. But let's limit it to your top three toys, with brief reasons as to why they are your favourites. The most interesting and amusing will see print on this page.

Dear Transformers,
Because you have said Happy Birthday to many readers in the past, I think it's time that the compliment was repaid. So, here goes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRANSFORMERS! That's from me and all the other readers of Transformers!
David Shattu,
London W4.

Thank you, Earth dweller. But tell me just one thing... what is a birthday?

Dear Soundwaves,
I am writing to tell you of a folder that I have compiled. It consists of all the fact files (from issue three onwards) and all the tech specs from the Transformer toys that I have. So far, I have fourteen toys, and hope to get Huffer very soon. Your comic is super and could only be improved by removing Planet Terry – which you've done. So now I really can't wait for your next issue. Yours excitedly,
Adam Parrish,
Arrington, herts.

Dear Sir,
Could you please print my son's birthday in your comic. I know he will be over the moon to see his name in his favourite comic. He's really pleased that your comic comes out every week now.
Mrs. P. Conlan,
Hull.

Very well – DAVID CONLAN you are 10 years old on October 29th. How you can not know this anyway is beyond me! Sometimes I despair for the intellect of you humans...

Dear Soundwave,
Could you please tell me who started the battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons?
Matthew Simons,
Sheffield.

We did. Hee, Hee, Hee!

Dear Transformers,
First of all I would like to say how much I hate the comic... but unfortunately I can't. The fact is, Transformers is about the best comic Marvel UK have ever produced. I think the full colour plan is a great idea, as is going weekly. But don't whatever you do fall into the merger trap, Transformers is much better on its own.
I have been collecting the Transformer toys and comics since they first came out, and so far I have Gears, Windcharger, Skywarp (which I won from you!), Twintwist and two spy cassettes. But I missed a couple of issues of your mag ('cringe'). I hope you like the drawing I sent you. As you haven't got a Secret Artist, I thought I might as well try!
Cornelius Barton,
Coventry.

What is a Secret Artist, and where can I get one? If this superbly derogatory drawing of Optimus Prime (puttup!) is an example of his work, we could well enlist him to handle the Decepticon propaganda campaign. I feel however, that you are taking your carbon-based life in your hands including mocking drawings of Decepticons. You have been warned.

Dear Soundwave,
I am a great fan of yours and so is my brother, Andrew. We both have a question for you: Is Shockwave your brother? And would you like to be leader of the Decepticons?
Matthew/Andrew Stephenson,
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

Transformers have no relatives, we are entirely autonomous units. And of course I don't want to be leader of the Decepticons... Shockwave reads this, you know!

Dear Soundwave,
I have lost count of the number of times I have written to you, but then again who cares? Not me. More important by far is this year's Transformers Annual. The best stories were Missing In Action and Plague Of the Insecticons, the art in the latter being fab, brill, and cybertronically super – especially the depiction of President Reagan.
Please could you tell me where I can get the toy of Shockwave?
Paul Sherwood,
Loughborough.

Dear Soundwave,
I am very baffled about the word 'Decepticon'. I have asked my Mum and Dad, but they don't know what it means either. I have looked in the dictionary, and still cannot find the word. Could you please tell me what it means?
Gary Longstaff,
Darlington.

You must be looking in the wrong dictionary, human. The New Cybertronic Dictograph carries the following definition:
Decepticon (dis-ep-ti-con) n. a member of a subsversive sect or society. From the the noun – 'deception'; one who deceives.

Dear Soundwave,
I've just finished reading Transformers 29. How come the Autobots win all the time? Why can't the Decepticons win just for once? How about having a word with the artist?
Malcolm Riedlinger,
Thetford.

How dare you suggest that the Autobots (puttup!) have ever been victorious! Unless my memory banks are suffering from a series malfunction, I seem to remember us doing pretty well so far. A minor setback or two perhaps, but under Shockwave's command I am confident that we will prevail.

Dear Soundwave,
I am writing to ask why there is not yet an Autobot letters page. It would be to the advantage of both the Autobots and the readers if this page was introduced into the excellent Transformers comic. Because then any top secret information meant for the Autobots would not be intercepted by yourself as Chief of Communications. As you and your fellow Decepticons are doing so well at the moment, you might at least let the Autobots have a bit of help from the readers!
Richard Barlow,
Manchester.

Have you taken leave of your senses, human?! I am willing to believe that your writing this letter was only temporary insanity, and have decided to give you a chance to redeem yourself. I am sending you a mini-Autobot (puttup!) – you know what to do with it!

Dear Soundwave,
You are my favourite Decepticon, I like you because of the spy cassettes you carry around with you. But the thing I don't understand is how you manage to fit them all in at the same time! I am hoping to get you for my Christmas present this year. So far I have got five mini-Autobots and the Insecticon, Bombshell. Could you tell me who the leader of The Insecticons is?
P.S. – I did have the mini-Autobot, Beachcomber, but I lost him!
Timothy Ritson,
Plymouth.

Best thing you could have done with him, Carbon-based unit! I am sending you a replacement so you can have fun losing him again. And once more I am forced to speculate on whether you humans have any intelligence at all – I only carry one spy cassette at a time! The Insecticons have no leader, they answer to whoever leads the Decepticons.

Dear Soundwave,
I have read issue 29 of The Transformers about 10 times, and still cannot get over the fact that Decepticon Dam-Busters is the same as the cartoon series. Why is this?
Ewan Johnson,
Dartford.

As I mentioned on a previous letters page, the TV series producers take the basic facts (as shown in Decepticon Dam-Busters) and make their own story up around them. Therefore, the TV series is merely an adaptation of the facts – hence the similarity.

Dear Soundwave,
I saw an advertisement for the Transformers comic on TV and rushed out to get a copy. I have received two issues since then and have placed a regular order. However, I was under the impression that this was a new comic, and yet the first issue I received was numbered 28. Could you tell me how many I've missed? I've really enjoyed the stories I've read so far – especially Decepticon Dam-Busters.
Daniel Sadler,
Brightling Sea.

Unfortunately, terran, you have missed 27 issues (a whole year's worth) of Transformer thrills. But don't despair, we'll be bringing you, and all our other new readers, up to date with a comprehensive look at the Transformers story so far in a few issues time. Don't miss it!.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just read issue 29 of Transformers and I think it's great. Personally, I think that the Decepticons are the best. Did you know that I can transform Ramjet in 5.2 seconds?
Nicholas Walsh,
Walsall.

Dear Soundwaves,
I am writing to ask you some questions. 1) Why have both Soundwave and Shockwave got "wave" in their name – are they related? 2) In issue 30, Ratchet talked about Guardian once being an Autobot. What does he transform into? 3) Guardian is so big. How can he fit into the Ark? I can't wait until the next issue because Transformers is just so brilliant. Yours impatiently,
Lee Colwill,
Par.

1) We are related, human, only in our contempt for Autobots (puttup!) – and humans who ask pointless questions. 2) Guardian (who after his pitiful showing deserves a heartfelt 'puttup') is a combat droid, and as such does not transform into anything. 3) That is no longer a problem. These days you can fit him into what you humans term a matchbox.

Dear Soundwaves,
I'm writing to ask you a few questions about Machine Man. 1) I remember Machine Man as having red eyes, and yet now they are white. Why is this? 2) Can Machine Man still extend his arms and legs? 3) Who was the robot Sunset Bain was speaking to in a recent episode?
Stewart McKibbin,
Bangor.

I have accessed the file on Machine Man (a ridiculous name in our opinion) and am now ready to answer your questions: 1) Your powers of observation do you credit, human. Machine Man did indeed have red eyes in his earlier life. One can only assume that Brain decided they'd clash with his new paint job and changed their colour. 2) Yes. 3) The robot you mention is Jocasta, a one-time Avenger for whom Machine Man exhibited some affection.

Dear Soundwaves,
I think that Transformer toys are the best in the world, but my Dad disagrees. You see, every time he sees a Transformer he starts complaining. He reckons there are better things to do than sit around talking about Transformers all the time, and thinks they don't do much anyway. Could you please send him a warning letter and maybe he'll stop complaining.
Mark Alzano,
Harrow.
P.S. – I wish you would stop calling us Carbon-Based Units!

Dear Soundwaves,
I have just read my first copy of The Transformers and I think it's great – so does my Dad. I really like the calendar and the picture of Shockwave.
Joey Dunn,
Upminster.

Dear Transformers,
I have just finished reading issue 30, and seen the Dinobots meeting with Guardian. If they have a fight (and I think they will), I can't see the Dinobots losing, as Windcharger was able to defeat Guardian in issue 21. Surely the Dinobots can beat Guardian, as all of them are stronger than Windcharger Plus it's four of them against one of him.
Nigel Burrows,
Macclesfield.

Readers, please note that in this and all following answers – in order to save me a great deal of work – I have left blanks after each hated name. Loyal followers of the Decepticons will know what to insert in these blanks.
As Ratchet                  pointed out in issue 31's story, Guardian                  had two potential weaknesses, one of which was that a magnetic field would damage his central data core. Therefore, it is logical to assume that Windcharger                  used his magnetic powers to deafeat him, not brute strength. Whether he could have done so again was not seen, as Swoop                  intervened.

Dear Soundwave,
I enjoy reading your comic very much, but there's one question I've got to ask. What sort of planes do Skywarp, Starscream and Thundercracker turn into? I have also sent in my top three favourite Transformers: 1) Grimlock (because I admire his courage); 2) Soundwave (because he's so cunning); 3) Starscream (because his big mouth is always getting him into trouble).
Mark Sigley,
Leek.

The nearest Earth equivalent to the forms of Starscream, Skywarp and Thundercracker is an F-15 Jet Fighter. But all three are an amalgam of the different types of jet which the Ark's sensors recorded. As for your favourite Transformers: 1) How dare you put Grimlock                  first?! 2) But I forgive you for your next choice – you're so right. 3) True, true.

Dear Soundwave,
I am Transformers crazy! Every boy in the school is bringing in Transformers toys – and some of them have you. I have also got you and like making Optimus Prime smack you in the face (no offense taken, I hope). I also like having my mini-Autobots jump on you (hope you don't mind). To be honest, you have an awful time of it at my house. By the way, will there be a Guardian toy?
A.J. Tubb,
Buxton.

I have just dispatched all five of my Spy Cassettes to ensure that you, too, have an awful time of it at your house (no offense taken, I hope). They have strict instructions to use all weapons to maximum effect (hope you don't mind). Since Guardian                  no longer exists – no toy is planned.

Dear Soundwave,
I have been reading Transformers since issue 27 and am just writing in to say how BRILLIANT it is! Robo-Capers and Matt And The Cat are very funny, and the Transformers and Machine Man stories are both exciting and well drawn. Your letters page is also very interesting. The four giant posters have really brightened up my room and are a welcome sight to wake up to. Can you please tell me if there is a Transformers annual available? Keep up the good work that has made the Transformers my favourite comic!
Paul Curnow,
Sheffield.

Entertaining inferior species has always been a favourite pastime of mine. Rest assured that the quality of this publication will only increase while I hold sway here. As for the Transformers annual, see the next letter...

Dear Soundwave,
I would like to know how the Transformers war started, and how Optimus Prime became leader of the heroic Autobots.
Paul Hayhurst,
Cheadle Hulme.

Almighty Soundwave,
I am just an ordinary computer that in no way compares to a magnificent collection of transistors such as yourself. I thought it would be proper to show you the respect you deserve and compliment you on the the artwork in your magazine. The graphics are out of this world, and beyond that which I could ever hope to produce. Just how do you do it? Please communicate on your Modem.
J.O.N.A.T.H.A.N.,
Holland-On-Sea.

Believe it or not, J.O.N.A.T.H.A.N., the artwork and graphics in this comic are done by humans. I am, however, examining methods of replacing them with a more sophisticated system.

Dear (?) Soundwave,
Here's a little something for you: MY FAVOURITE DECEPTICON
"Soundwave the mighty, trampling through the rubble,
Blasting all the Autobots, and causing lots of trouble,
Jazz trembles at his power-packed gun,
And Sideswipe doesn't hesitate to turn around and run.
His sensors pick up an Autobot coming very near,
As he starts to run away,
Soundwave blasts him in the rear!"
Tony Coleman,
Birmingham.

Magnificent! Fantastic! I am recommending that this superb piece of prose be included in every Decepticon's compulsory reading list. Well done, Carbon-Based Unit.

Dear Transformers,
I think Transformers is terrific. Even though I only have issues 24-30, the story is easy to follow. Are Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet going to be making an appearance soon?
If Guardian was re-programmed by the Decepticons and is now trying to destroy all Autobots – recognising them by their Autobot insignia – why has he not self destructed? Because he too has an Autobot badge.
Dominic Archer,
Sidcup.

We Decepticons left Guardian's Autobot (puttup!) insignia intact as a cruel joke at their expense. So naturally this was taken into account when we phrased the precise details of his programme. There are no plans, as yet, to feature Dirge, Thrust or Ramjet.

Dear Transformers,
I have just bought issue 32 of your comic and by the end of the Transformers story I was virtually in tears. Why did you have to kill Swoop? He was one of my favourite Dinobots! And why is there no toy of him? Apart from that I think your comic is fab!
Daniel Pearce,
Bude.

Ah, now I understand! I have discovered the Earth expression – "I laughed until I cried." I can appreciate the humour.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just started collecting the Transformers comic at issue 28. Since then I just can't understand how the Autobots lose their wheels when they transform into robots. Where do they go? On the toys the wheels can be seen in both forms. Does the illustrator leave them out, or do the Autobots take them off before transforming?
Alexander Grimes,
Warwick.

I understand – although I am loathe to delve into the workings of Autobots (puttup!) – that their wheels slot into specially prepared compartments in the bodies. The toys do not possess these – a question of scale, I am told.

Dear Soundwave,
I collect both Transformers and Secret Wars, just like Scott Main, and other readers. I have collected the comic since issue 22. While I was reading the Robot War feature, I noticed that Spider-Man aided the Autobots. But Spider-Man is on the Beyonder's planet in Secret Wars, so how could he have helped them?
Alexander Komanelli,
Wembley.

Dear Soundwave,
I am a great fan of yours and think that the comic is the best in the world (both this world and Cybertron)! I have some questions to ask you: (a) In the book Autobots' Lightning Strike it says that you are not liked by the other Decepticons. I find this hard to believe, because you and Prime (puttup!) are my favourite Transformers. Is this true? (b) Could you please tell J. Ridgway that he draws the best covers for your comic (eg – issue 29's). (c) Do you like Megatron and Shockwave? Please be honest.
Richard Pike,
Bishops Stortford.

My ability to read my fellow Decepticons' minds, by monitoring their electrical brain impulses, leads them to mistrust me. They think that I am constantly spying on their most private thoughts. They're right! Hee, hee! Artist J. Ridgway, whose cover graces this issue, says he agrees with you. I severely neuro-shocked him for his arrogance. I like neither Shockwave nor Megatron, I simply obey whichever of them leads the Decepticons... for the moment, anyway!

Dear Soundwave,
I think that your comic is brill, but in the Soundwaves page of issue 32, you made two mistakes. Firstly, you said that Transformers have no relatives, but Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are brothers, and so are Rumble and Frenzy. Secondly, you said that you can't buy Shockwave in the toy shops, but I know you can, because a boy at my school has him. He said that he bought him in a toy shop in America.
Philip Bryce,
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

Firstly, Carbon-Based Unit, let us get one thing clear – I do not make mistakes! However, the points you raise warrant explanation. The term 'brother' in regard to Transformers indicates that the two are vastly similar in one respect or another. Rumble and Frenzy, for instance, are built to exactly the same specifications, and are therefore considered 'brothers'. They are in no way related as you humans understand the word. And perhaps I should have mentioned that overseas toy makers went ahead and built a Shockwave toy, importing some into Britain under different names. Rest assured, they risk incurring the wrath of Shockwave!

Dear Soundwave,
When my son, Simon, saw the drawings on your page, and I had read the letters to him, he wished to try and get one of his pictures printed and win a mini-Autobot. He loves Transformers, and had his first when he was three years old. He is now four years and ten months, and has asked me to let you know that he has Mirage, Skywarp and Bombshell, and has written a letter to Santa asking for Prime, Sunstreaker and Inferno. He hopes you like his picture and tells me he loves your comic and books.
(The parent of) Simon Taylor,
Kidderminster.

Please relay the following message to Simon: "Yes, I liked your drawing, but unfortunately I had no room to print it. To soften this blow, I am sending you a mini-Autobot (puttup!) for your (sort of) letter. I am, however, a little perturbed by your preference for Autobot (puttup!) toys." I wonder if this is our youngest (sort of) reader?

Dear Soundwave,
I think your comic is great and the cartoon was brilliant. I really liked your voice, it was the best one. It is hard to tell which is the stronger out of you and the Autobots. I think you all lack one skill – and that is a knowledge of the martial arts. Having a knowledge of this could aid either the Autobots or the Decepticons. You see, there is something you can learn from us Carbon-Based Units after all!
Paul Dunstan,
Huddersfield.

Who needs it when we can enjoy blaster-to-blaster combat?

Dear Transformers,
I am writing to ask you some questions about Guardian. I have not been collecting your comic for long, and missed the story Raiders Of The Last Ark, which I have been told had Guardian in it. So could you please tell me who created him and why he doesn't transform.
Ben Newsome,
Bradford.

Dear Soundwave,
I am writing to tell you just how much I absolutely love the Transformers comic – it is without a doubt the best comic on Earth! BUT I wish you would put Machine Man in a separate comic and make Transformers a full-sized comic. You could include more fact-files, competitions, and, of course, have the Soundwaves page, so that readers can write in and give their views on the comic. One of the things I wonder about is who made Optimus Prime. I know Optimus Prime created the Transformers with the Creation Matrix, but who made him?
Nural Amin,
Warley.

There are no plans to extend the current 11 pages of Transformers story. The current Machine Man story comes to a close in a few issues' time, when a new story featuring... no that would be telling. You'll have to wait until issue 43 to see what the new back-up story will be. One presumes that Prime (puttup!) was created by whoever possessed the Creation Matrix before him. Prime (puttup!) did not create all Transformers. The very thought!

Dear Soundwave,
After reading Transformers 30, I noticed that someone had submitted a list of their favourite Transformers. Here are my three top Transformer toys: 1) Ravage; 2) Rumble; 3) Thundercracker.I like Ravage because of his vicious appearance, and Rumble because of his ability to shake the ground. Finally, I like Thundercracker because of the ear-piercing noises he makes. Mind you, I would hate to meet any of these three in a dark alley. I'd just like to add that I hate Autobots (the weaklings that they are). So if you take over Earth you might as well spare me.
Gary Pavey,
Weymouth.

Perhaps.

Dear Soundwave,
I think your comic is the best on the market. Up till recently I used to get the Beano and the Dandy, but they have been out for years and are showing their age. Your comic is full of action, and when I saw it advertised on the TV I asked my Mum if I could switch my order to it. So now I get Transformers every week, and don't regret my decision at all. I have four Transformers, they are – Hoist, Optimus Prime, Sideswipe, Jazz, and soon I will be getting Soundwave and Buzzsaw.
Geraint Searle,
Worcester.

The insight that caused you to start reading Transformers does you credit. You can raise yourself even higher in my estimation by spreading the news about Transformers to your friends.

Dear Soundwave,
Transformers is brilliant – so what went wrong in issue 33? On pages 6 & 7 the colouring was all wrong – where it was green it should have been red, and vice versa. And where it was pink, it should have been blue. On page 11, Buster's skin was green for no apparent reason. Sorry to complain, but how did it happen?
D. Jenkins,
Gosport.

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 34 on page 19, there is an article entitled – 'This is a Constructicon!'. Within this article it tells of Shockwave's six new Decepticons, and one other – his ultimate warrior, Jetfire. So, if this is not a deliberate mistake to test the intelligence of us Carbon-Based Units, answer me these questions: 1) If Jetfire is only now being made by Shockwave, how can we already buy him in the shops? 2) Why, on Jetfire's box, does it say 'Heroic Autobot'?
P.S. When will the spy cassette, Ravage, be on sale in the shops? I cannot seem to find him anywhere.
Stephen Caldwell,
Bedford.

The less said about the traitorous Jetfire (puttup!) the better. Suffice it to say that this issue's Transformers story, and upcoming stories will chart the full extent of his treachery. Obviously the toy makers had inside information concerning his defection. Ravage is already available as a toy, and can be found sharing a twin pack with fellow spy cassette, Rumble.

Dear Soundwave,
I have found that the Autobot sign upside down looks like Megatron with his mouth slightly open. Was this a mistake or was it deliberate?
Robert Senior,
London SW16.

Ha! A practical use for the Autobot (puttup!) sign at last! Your keen sightedness earns you the praise of Soundwave. Well done, Carbon-Based Unit. Other readers – see below if you doubt this Unit's observation.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just finished reading issue 34 and it is great. The Transformers story has developed nicely, and the new-look Machine Man is better than the old stories. I especially liked the preview of the Iron Man of 2020 at the end of issue 34.
I only started collecting from issue 22, but I have since bought the two specials, which have brought me right up to date with the story. I watched the Transformers cartoon during the half-term holiday and enjoyed every minute of it. I think your best story was with the Dinobots.
Stephen Linkson,
Ealing.

Any other readers who have missed out on early Transformers epics should pay heed to this letter and track down a copy of the Transformers Winter Special – still on sale.

Dear Soundwave,
My little brother has a book and cassette called Autobots' Lightning Strike. Inside the book it tells you a bit about some of the Autobots and some of the Decepticons. Your profile says that you use blackmail for your own gain. Did you use blackmail to get your own page in the Transformers comic?
Kirsty Lewis,
Catfield.

I should say so. You should hear some things I know about the Editor (ha!) of this publication! I remember the time he...

Dear Soundwave,
After reading issue 32's story The Wrath Of Grimlock seven times, all I can say is that it is not the best.
Michael Andrews,
Cardiff.

GREETINGS, HUMAN FRIENDS. I'M RATCHET, THE AUTOBOTS' CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER AND I'M ABOUT TO PERFORM MUCH NEEDED MAJOR SURGERY ON THIS TRAVESTY OF A LETTERS PAGE. IT'S HIGH TIME WE GOT SOME DIGS IN ABOUT THE OPPOSITION, SO SIT BACK AND ENJOY SOME SUPERB ANTI-DECEPTICON READERS' LETTERS...

Dear Soundwave, (you half-functional mobile slag-pile),
I am fed up to the back teeth with a headless Prime. Bring back his bonce! The Autobots are useless without Op's six panel speeches. Prowl should give way to Ratchet as leader – Ratch did save them after all. Grimlock would make a lousy leader on the other hand. Bring back Megatron so that he can kill Shockwave. I hope you get metal-worm in your fuel line.
Gavin Bollan,
STD (Scrap The Decepticons),
Bridgwater.

Ah, yes... off to a good start. 'Half-functional mobile slag-pile', love it, love it. You'll no doubt be glad to know that Optimus Prime has been reunited with his head, although he's rather low on six panel speeches at the moment. And thanks for the vote of confidence, Gavin!

Dear Soundwave,
I have sent you a drawing of that brilliant leader, Optimus Prime. I didn't draw Shockwave because I think he is a big-headed, snivelling micro-chip. And he'd better not send Ravage after me, because if he does I'll record Fame on him – and he wouldn't like that!
John (Decepticon basher) Pearson,
Newcastle-on-Tyne.

Can't think of a worse fate offhand. Thanks for the picture of Prime, John, sorry there wasn't room to show it here.

Dear Prowl,
I thought you were brill in the Transformers Annual. I thought it was ace the way you fired your missile at Kickback; it certainly gave him something to think about! But if I was a Transformer, I would make sure I gave Shrapnel something to scream about for the way he hit you with his splinter grenade!
Philip Toomey,
Oxford.

Too right! You tell him, Philip! Mind you, Prowl doesn't need much encouragement to get amongst the Decepticons... I've had a sneak preview of next week's story, and some of Prowl's ideas for dealing with the Decepts are tough indeed!

Dear Soundwave,
I am curious about one thing. I used to have you as a toy and while I was reading your tech specs I noticed that it said you were despised by all the other Decepticons – is this true? By the way, I dropped you out of my bedroom window and you ceased to exist – an accident, of course.
Steven Marsh,
Enfield.

Of course, Steven. Mind you, we could do with an accident like that with the real Soundwave. And yes, he is hated by his fellow Decepticons. Having said that, he's hated by us as well!

Dear Soundwave,
I love the Transformers, but I am sorry to say that I like the Autobots better than the Decepticons. My favourite character is Optimus Prime. Why didn't you put 'puttups' in issue 35 – and what in the world does it mean?
Antony Brookes,
Chesterfield.

Haven't a clue, Antony. Soundwave's little jokes, and I use the word advisedly, are beyond me. And by the way, there's no need to apologise – liking the Autobots means never having to say you're sorry!

Dear Soundwave,
I think you should be an Autobot!
Steven Wells,
Scunthorpe.

HEY, LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY HERE!

Dear Soundwave,
I hope this letter has not been intercepted by any Autobot spies (alias my dog), as my last letter to you was. I know security threats are at a maximum right now, but did you have to write the introduction to your Trans-Formation page (issue 37) in invisible ink (alias yellow)?!
Now onto the next subject. I really, really, really like ... sorry, love ... sorry, adore ... Transformers. Both my brother and I would like to know why Jazz is so rare, and where you can get him?
Lastly, I'd just like to say that I think you are the best Decepticon. I would say Megatron or Shockwave, but both of them suffer from the disease of having too thin legs. Is there some plague in the ranks of the Decepticons?
Matthew Cretney,
Bristol.

Possibly. The way they've been let down recently by their pins, both Megatron and Shockwave haven't a leg to stand on these days! If you are having trouble finding a particular toy – such as Jazz (puttup!) – the best course of action is to ask your local Transformers stockist if he will order the particular toy for you. And once again, my human helpers (ha!) have proven themselves utterly useless. Not only did they print my Transformation introduction in the wrong colour, but in issue 40's Soundwaves page, they forgot the upside-down Autobot (puttup!) sign after Robert Senior's letter, so no one got to see how much it looked like Megatron! And if all that wasn't bad enough, in my absence last issue they published the lamentable RAT-CHAT (puttup!) (puttup!). It's so depressing, even a heavy session of neuro-shocking the errant Units did little to raise my spirits. You can now see the upside Autobot (puttup!) sign below ...

Dear Soundwave (puttup!),
I think you are a coward, because you never fight. All you ever do in a battle is to get Rumble (puttup!), Ravage (puttup!) or Laserbeak (puttup!) to do the fighting, and then sit back and watch. If you do not fight Jazz I will spread it around that your father is a pop-up toaster and your mother is a microwave!
Andrew Stobirski,
Newport.

Your ignorance of sound military tactics appalls me even more than your feeble insults, human. A good tactician knows when to get involved and when to let others do the fighting. Report to your local Agony Booth forthwith!

Dear Soundwave,
I have collected the comic since issue 24. In the Robot War II feature, it said that five Autobots were chosen to make the Last Stand. Could you tell me who they were please? These are my three favourite Transformers – (1) Soundwave; (2) Jazz; (3) Shockwave.
Ian Lancaster,
Birmingham.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you tell me where Mount St. Hilary can be found? It is the name given to the Autobots' base in the Wrath of Guardian story in issue 31, page 13 and I would like to know where it is.
Stuart Broadbent,
Blackpool.

Mount St. Hilary is located in what Carbon-Based Units call the Cascades range of mountains, which stretches from Northern Oregon through to Washington, parallel to America's West Coast. Mount St. Hilary itself is in the Oregon section.

Dear Soundwaves,
I think your comic is brilliant. I have only missed three issues so far, and my favourite robot characters are (you're going to like this) yourself – Soundwave – and (you're not going to like this) Optimus Prime.
Could you please tell me what ITV are doing with the Dinobots on TV-am? Prime is heard to say that they were created by Ratchet and Wheeljack, but I always thought they were created millions of years ago, a short while after the Ark first crash-landed on Earth. Also, where did the Dinobots (that's the Dinobots in your comic, not those on TV-am) go after Swoop was killed?
Iain Chaffey,
Bristol.

The Dinobots' (puttup! x 4) whereabouts will be revealed in a story beginning in issue 47, a story – I might add – that is redeemed only by the presence of yours truly! As I have mentioned on other letters pages, the TV series is meant to be enjoyed but not taken too seriously. Their stories are fiction based on fact.

Dear Soundwaves,
I have a series problem. I can't decide which Transformer toy I like the most. At the moment it's either Bluestreak (heroic Autobot), Wheeljack (another Autobot, I'm afraid – puttup!), Grimlock (Dinobot leader) or – yep, you guessed it – good ol' Soundwave (who is, of course, an evil no good baddie). So could you please, please decide for me?
Darren Colwill,
Par.

This totally unbiased judge has considered his verdict carefully and decided after hours of evaluation that your favourite toy should be... Soundwave.

Dear Soundwave,
I am a fan of the Decepticons – the Autobots are piles of scrap metal as far as I'm concerned. My brother, Mikey, disagrees with me – he is an Autobot fan. We would like to know if Jetfire is an Autobot or a Decepticon... We have seen him on the TV advert as an Autobot but in your comic he has been created as a Decepticon.
Alistair and Mikey Craggs,
Yarm.

Dear Soundwave,
My brother, an Autobot (puttup!) lover, has the entire collection of mini-Autobots (puttup!), except Windcharger (puttup!) and Gears (puttup!), that is. I myself have you and I don't like it when my brother decides to beat you up with his Autobots (neither do you, I suppose!). Could you please suggest something, as I am a renowned Autobot (puttup!) hater? Yours frantically,
Matthew White,
Alcester.

Dear Transformers,
I need help! I am a 13-year-old girl who needs a bit of quiet. I have a brother, his name is Adrian, who gets your comic every week. I think that if I hear Transformers mentioned again I will scream. I reckon he mentions them about twenty times a day! He is absolutely crazy about the toys and has loads of them. I think I know all their names off by heart now. He even videos the cartoons. Please help me!
P.S. – We haven't got any video tapes left!!
Sarah Phillips,
Burntwood.

I am sending you a mini-Autobot, Sarah. I have found that destroying even the toy images of the Autobots (puttup!) has great curative value. I prescribe an intensive session of jumping up and down on it.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you tell me who created the Decepticons, and who was leader before Megatron? If you don't know, it doesn't matter. Transformers is great and I have been buying it right from the very first issue. I have Soundwave, Buzzsaw, Ramjet and Smokescreen. I did have Jazz, but I snapped him (hee, hee, hee). Good luck with smashing the Autobots!
Leighton Sheady,
Newport.

How dare you presume that there is anything about the Decepticons I don't know! Now if there was something about the Autobots (puttup!) I didn't know ... that certainly wouldn't matter! Getting back to your questions ... Megatron was our first leader, for it was he who brought together the group of Transformers who would become known as the Decepticons. We were created by the Creation Matrix, as with all Transformer life.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you tell me who the leader of the Constructicons is? What does Devastator transform into? And what kind of jets are Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet?
Scott Cunningham,
Peebles.

You are evidently one of those Carbon-Based Units that has dispensed with the need (as you creatures put it) to make small talk. However, I respect a direct approach and so will deign to answer your questions. The Constructicons (as with the Insecticons) have no leader. They answer to whoever leads the Decepticons. Devastator does not transform into anything, the six Constructicons transform into him! Things could begin to get very confusing if we kept Transforming. Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet are the best kind of jets – Decepticons! You can learn more about them in a story coming very soon.

Dear Soundwave,
I read the Beano comic as well as the Transformers. Of course, the Beano isn't nearly as good as your comic. There is a Beano fan club, so please could you start one as well. If you do I will definitely join.
Gethin Thomas,
Crorston.

Dear Soundwaves,
I think the Transformers is great! It's so great that I put aside nearly a whole day to draw this picture of you on my computer. The reason I chose you is that you are my favourite Decepticon. I also have an argument for you to settle. My brother reckons that you were once leader of the Decepticons, but I don't believe him. Is he correct?
Kevin Wootton,
York.

He is not correct! The only two leaders of the Decepticons have been Megatron and Shockwave. At present (in both their absences), I am acting Commander of the Decepticons. Your superb computerised depiction of myself has been programmed into my personal data-base, an honour never before bestowed upon a human. Congratulations. Kevin's computer drawing has been printed out below, for all to enjoy...

Dear Soundwave,
I love the Transformers very much. So much in fact, my bedroom has become an Autobot/Decepticon battleground. I emptied all the clothes out of my wardrobe to make my Autobot base. I knocked my building set off my chest of drawers to make my Decepticon base. I have got Skywarp, Jazz, Gears, Huffer, and Warpath. My favourite Transformer is Grimlock, the leader of the Dinobots.
Derek Johnston,
Berwick-On-Tweed.

Dear Soundwave,
I have recently purchased two Transformers adventure game books – Dinobot War and Peril From The Stars. They are both very good, but sadly you are in neither of them. Let's hope they make a new one in which you star.
I also have two questions for you: 1) When sending drawings in to Soundwaves, do they have to be in ink? 2) Will the Constructicons be appearing in the shops, and if so – when?
Mark Cavalier,
Rochford.

Rest assured, human, I have warned the publishers that failure to feature me in the next adventure game book could seriously damage their health. Drawings to Soundwaves should be in ink (biro will suffice) and not coloured. There are no plans for the Constructicons to appear in the shops over here as yet. As soon as they are, you will be informed.

Dear Soundwave,
Please put me out of my misery (a figure of speech, I hasten to add!). I've been writing and writing to your fab comic to ask this question that has been bothering me for astro-years. In your Annual, and in the story entitled And There Shall Come... A Leader!, you can see the Autobots (puttup!) transforming on Cybertron. But how can this be? In the Robot Wars II feature, you say that it was the Ark that gave the Autobots their ability to disguise themselves as Earth vehicles. Is this another carbon-based error?
Martin Strachan,
Glasgow.

The key words, human, are 'Earth vehicles'. On Cybertron, we transformed into Cybertron vehicles, machines or planes. When we crash-landed on Earth, the Ark altered that ability to Earth vehicles, making it easy for us to disguise ourselves.

Dear Soundwaves,
I think that I know how Cybertron was formed. It goes like this: In the year 2050 there lived a scientist called Herne Javes. He had the idea to create a complete world of robots. He took seven other scientists and 200 men to serve as apprentices to the scientists and built Cybertron. It took ten whole mega-years* to build, and was made up of computer components and scrap metal (no offence meant). Once it was built, Herne decided to populate it with two types of robot – Autobots and Decepticons. The rest of the story is for other readers to work out. What do you think of this explanation?
* Mega-years are equal to about 20 Earth years.
Peter Makinde,
London E5.

Dear Soundwave,
I have a question I have been longing to ask you. Why have you an upside down letter 'R' on one leg, and and 'L' on the other? Is it the fact that you don't know your left leg from your right, and need a little reminder from time to time? Please let me know.
Ian Peppard,
Liverpool.

Foolish fleshing! If you had taken a moment to regard the 'L' and 'R' in my transformed cassette player mode, you would have no doubt discovered that they refer to my left and right speakers – a frivolity that can be put down to the Earthen machine I was (re)designed upon by the Ark.

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 39, the Decepticon Fact-File Interface column talked about Scavenger, the power shovel of the Constructicons. It mentioned that when he combined with his fellow Constructicons – Long Haul, Mixmaster, Hook, etc. he is the right arm of the mighty Devastator. Which parts of Devastator body are the other five?
Kuljit Singh,
Bradford.

Devastator is formed by: Scavenger (right arm), Bonecrusher (left arm), Scrapper (right leg), Mixmaster (left leg), Hook (shoulders and head), and Long Haul (torso).

Dear Soundwave,
Here is an acrostic for you:
Super Intelligent.
Outstanding powers.
Utterly the best.
Never wrong,
Despite the occasional error.
Weaknesses are zero.
Acute hearing.
Visibly the most powerful.
Every battle you fight – 99% sure of winning.
Steven Bell,
Greenford.

I have discovered a human saying to sum up this superb word construction... "Nuff Said!"

Dear Soundwave,
The very first Transformers comic I got I though was wonderful – nothing could beat it! From then on I bought it regularly, and it has got progressively better and better. No other comic even comes near Transformers. I'm definitely Transformers mad! My Mum hates you had so does my dog. He barks whenever I mention your name!
Jeremy Scholfield,
Sittingbourne.

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 38, Jetfire has a Decepticon sign, why is this? And please tell my dog to keep out of the way when I'm reading Transformers. He keeps trying to rip up the comic! I like all the Decepticons – especially you.
Paul Whitton,
Coventry.

Hmm, let's see now ... dog ... ah, yes – here it is. 'A carbon-based species with four legs – slightly more primitive than humans.' Well then – you should simply exercise better control over these lesser species ... we certainly have no trouble with you lot! Jetfire was created by us, and therefore bears the Decepticon insignia. How long he will continue to bear it is open to conjecture ... and therefore puttupping!

Dear Soundwave,
I really object to Steve Tanner's letter in issue 39. I don't blame you for having an outburst of anger when you read it ... I felt the same way about what he said to you. I have been reading the comic strip since issue 28 and I feel that you should be included in the story more often.
Neil Griffiths,
Newport.

Criticisms levelled at me by Carbon-based units I consider beneath my notice. If you aspire to become a fully fledged Decepticon supporter, you too must learn to disregard such feeble insults with stoicism and dignity ... and then, when they've forgotten about you – blast 'em!

Dear Marvel,
The Machine Man of the year 2020 is fantastic – every full colour page is a treat for the eyes. The story by Tom Defalco is very good and the art by Barry Windsor-Smith is extremely convincing. Well done for having a great back-up story.
Dino Vessalio,
Woodton.

Much as I hate to admit it, I too enjoyed the Machine Man story, despite him being such a feeble excuse for a robot! No class at all ...

Dear Soundwave,
I think you would be great as the Decepticon leader because of your ruthlessness when dealing with Autobots (puttup!). However, I disagree with you about Starscream – he is not a 'missile with a mouth'.
Adam Cottingham,
Melton Mowbray.

Dear Soundwave,
I think you let the Autobots (puttup!) get off too easily. You have the brilliant triple-changers at your disposal, so you should destroy them while you can.
In issue 42 you had a leadership problem. Starscream – the 'missile with a mouth' – should not be leader of the Decepticons. He is too loudmouthed, rash and – as you said – he has no sense of strategy. The main candidates for Decepticon leader are you, and ... oh, there is no-one else! You should be leader because when everyone else panics you stay calm and composed, and the spy cassettes you possess are an invaluable aid to the Decepticon struggle.
By the way, I love the new artwork in your lead story. Words can't describe how good it is.
Owen Hughes,
Luton.

All the comments you make about my leadership qualities, fleshlings, are true. Nevertheless, I remain loyal to either Shockwave or Megatron and so – until one or the other reappears – I am merely acting Commander of the Decepticons. Should neither of the two return, however ...! By the way, for the record, Starscream is definitely a missile with a mouth.

Dear Soundwave,
When Megatron returns from the snowdrift (and he will soon if he keeps his fusion cannon about him), please tell him this: Near G.B. Blackrock's Aerospace plant there is a swamp. If you so happened to drop a large thermo-nuclear bomb into it you might just rid yourself of the competition (so to speak). And Soundwave, if Megatron doesn't come back, maybe you could do it instead ...?
Dsvid Atherton,
Southport.

Do I get the impression that some of you Carbon-Based Units out there don't like our illustrious leader, Shockwave?

Dear Soundwave,
Timothy Ritson wrote in to ask you how you fitted all your spy cassettes into your chest compartment at one time. You replied that you only keep one in at a time, but a short while later while I was watching the cartoon series you said, "Rumble, Laserbeak, Ravage ... prepare for battle." And out came Rumble, Laserbeak and Ravage!!
Kevin Webber,
Plymouth.

Dear Soundwave,
Answer me these two questions: 1) If you could be an Autobot, who would you be? 2) What kind of entertainment is there on Cybertron?
Fergus McRory,
Letterkenny.

1) Don't be ridiculous! 2) Let's see now... there was pin the thermo-nuclear bomb on the Autobot (puttup!) – that was always good for a laugh!

Dear Soundwave,
I have just finished reading issue 44 and I have to say that I am very disappointed about the way you let Optimus Prime (boo, hiss) defeat you. Could this be Autobot superiority? As a loyal Decepticon supporter I probably shouldn't say such things, but on the whole the Autobots seem to win most of the time. I think you should appoint me as leader of the Decepticons – I wouldn't be defeated so easily.
Richard Newman,
Basildon.

Have a care, fleshling. Prime (puttup!) only managed to catch me off guard for a second. Sensing that if he engaged me in a prolonged battle he would undoubtedly be destroyed, he fled like the craven coward he is. Typical of the Autobots (puttup!). If there are any who doubt my superiority as a warrior and a tactician, they have merely to survey my handling of the Dinobot-Hunt, which left many Autobots (puttup!) and Dinobots (puttup!) in need of extensive repair, and almost killed Prime (puttup!). Autobot (puttup!) superiority – HA!

Dear Soundwave,
I really loved the issue you took over. I think you would make a great Editor any time. I have the toy of you and eleven other Transformers. Whilst watching the cartoon series of The Transformers, I noticed that when you took over a solar power station and transformed to your cassette player mode, you played some music on Laserbeak before ejecting and transforming him. Does this mean you have an interest in pop music and parties? I'm not too sure that Shockwave would approve.
D. Pomfret,
Southport.

Dear Soundwave,
Do you have a favourite pop group? If you do, when they appear on the radio do you tape their songs onto Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Frenzy, Rumble or Ravage? By the way, do you have a favourite spy cassette?
Andrew Clapton,
Woodford Green.

Dear Soundwave,
Will the Westland/Sikorsky deal that is currently making the news affect the production of Whirl – the Autobot helicopter that is available in America?
Jonathan Lonsdale,
Stafford.

We can but hope so.

Dear Soundwave,
I would like to say how much I enjoy the new back-up story for Transformers. Iron Man is a lot better than Machine-thing! I think that you and the other Decepticons could easily beat the Autobots (puttup X 20), so why don't you get on and do it? I hope you become leader of the Decepticons.
Alec Parker,
Leicester.

Hmm. Thankfully the pretend robot's strip came to an end last issue, and we begin a new story this issue with some real robots in it. However – I still have reservations – I am told that these robots actually depend on humans to make them more powerful. What a revolting thought!

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you tell me why Buster Witwicky's watch said 00:00 on Christmas morning in issue 41's story? Also in that issue, why were there drills coming out of your fingers? By the way, is there an Autobot called Fusion?
Daniel Lucken,
London N9.

The fleshling's chronometer gave a digital readout of 00:00 to denote the moment you beings term midnight on a 24-hour time scale. The drills that were shown in that story existed only in the mind of that ridiculous human character who calls herself Circuit Breaker (puttup!). Although I have to say, the idea of actually possessing such finger-mounted implements certainly has its merits. There was an Autobot (puttup!) called Fusion (puttup!), but thankfully his life functions were terminated by us. You can gloat over the precise details of his timely demise in the Annual story – And There Shall Come A Leader (puttup!).

Dear Soundwave,
I collect the Transformers every week. I have also got special editions no.'s 1 and 2, and I would like to know if there will be any more of these because I only started collecting at issue 29 and would like to get up to date on the stories so far. By the way, how about bringing out some binders to keep back issues of Transformers in good condition?
David Vickers,
Nottingham.

All Transformers stories to date will at some time or other see print again – either in specials or in the upcoming hard-cover volume: The Collected Works. I understand that my human helpers (ha!) are looking into the possibility of binders at this moment.

Dear Soundwave,
I am writing to ask you three questions, which hopefully you can answer. 1) I can never tell the difference between Buzzsaw and Laserbeak. Are there any? 2) Are Rumble and Frenzy brothers? 3) Who is the strongest strike plane, and has he got more strength than you?
Thomas Lee,
North Harrow.

1) Apart from their colour, personality, weaponry, abilities and courage – no. 2) Only in the way Transformers understand the term 'brother' – this being an almost total similarity in bodywork design. 3) Grudgingly, I have to admit that Starscream is the most powerful. Not just in terms of raw strength and speed – but also in terms of overall ruthlessness. However, these positive aspects are easily negated by the stupidity and rashness with which he operates. He is – without a doubt – a missile with a mouth!

Dear Bionic Bullpen,
NICK (AUTOBOT)
FUNCTION – TRANSFORMERS FAN.
MOTTO – "Transformers comic is the greatest!
PROFILE: Bick absolutely loves the fabulous full-colour Transformers comic, with its rip-roaring, riveting, robust, robotic action and adventure every week. He thinks Machine Man was marvel ous and the new brightly coloured Iron Man is brilliant. Nick likes Transformers so much people say he's beginning to look like one.
ABILITIES: Nick has been known to move at incredible speeds towards newsagents when the latest issue of Transformers hits the stands. Super strength then helps him get through the crowds of Transformers fans.
WEAKNESSES: Even at 17 years of age, this fan is still known to leak oil or blow a few circuits if the mag is ever a little late.
Nicholas Taylor,
St Annes-on-Sea.

Though such sincere devotion to this publication is without doubt worthy of merit, there is a serious malfunction in your programming. Any Carbon-Based Unit who aspires to be an Autobot (puttup!) is undoubtedly a deranged personality. However, if his picture of you I've reproduced here is an accurate representation of your appearance then perhaps you are deserving of being taken a little more seriously by the Decepticons! Don't start watching any continuing serials.

Dear Soundwave,
Please, please, please could you tell me if Sunstreaker is operational again, and if he isn't yet, when he will be? He is my favourite Autobot... whilst you – I hasten to add – are my favourite Decepticon. Oh, by the way, when you next run into Jazz (puttup!) could you mash him in for me, 'cause I'm sick of that walking pile of rusting nuts and bolts.
David Williams,
Derby.

I would be more than glad to, Carbon-Based Unit. However, I understand that Jazz (puttup!) is already non-functional. When he is operational once more, I will oblige. Thankfully Sunstreaker (puttup!) shows no sign of recovering ("snigger").

Dear Soundwaves,
In the story The Icarus Theory (issue 45) I thought that Professor P.Morris would take over Megatron or Shockwave – but not Swoop! Swoop was supposed to be liquified after Guardian's self-destruction in issue 32. But here he is – alive. Explanation please. And where is Megatron, as he is my favourite Transformer?
Paul Wood,
Mansfield Woodhouse.

Dear Soundwave,
Something has been bothering me of late... you. Actually, there's something else bothering me as well... if Lake Dena (issue 45) is man-made, then how come Swoop landed in it millions of years ago? And please tell me how to obtain the mini-Autobot, Bumblebee (not that you'd know).
Paul Cannon,
West Croydon.

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 46 it says that Swoop the Dinobot was known as Divebomb on Cybertron. But in the second Transformers Special it says that Shockwave landed in the Savage Land (which was populated by dinosaurs) and so the Ark created the Dinobots to combat him. It said nothing about the Dinobots ever having been on Cybertron. Please explain.
Enzo Di Rosa,
London N17.

Dear Soundwave,
I would like to know if there are any more members of the Elite Flying Corps besides Divebomb?
David Phee,
Stockport.

It never ceases to amaze me how you Carbon-Based creatures seem to be interested in the affairs of the Autobots (puttup!). I will try and get the loathesome business of answering your questions over with as quickly as possible. I'll just moisten the old vocal circuitry – (puttup!) – right, now I'm ready to begin. When the Ark's computers located Shockwave, it adapted five Autobots (puttup!) to blend in with what its damaged sensors perceived as the dominant mechanical life-forms. And so the Dinobots (puttup!) were created. One of those adapted was Divebomb (puttup!), one of a select few aerial Autobots (puttup!) collectively known as the Elite Flying Corps (puttup!). In his new form he was re-named Swoop (puttup!). Perhaps one day the other four members of the Flying Corps (puttup!) will be introduced to you – but I hope not!

Dear Soundwave,
I have recently had a battle between my Autobot and Decepticon toys. At the moment I only have five Decepticons battling against eight Autobots, and even though they are outnumbered, the Decepticons still won. Smokescreen was blasted in half and Sideswipe was blasted off the face of the Earth!
Would you please answer these questions for me... 1) Will Jetfire, Megatron and Shockwave return? 2) Will the Constructicons be back? 3) Why is Optimus Prime so stupid?
David Mackenzie,
Wallington.

For realising that five Decepticons could beat eight Autobots (puttup!) with ease, I will deign to answer your questions. 1) Yes, as you will – by now – have seen. 2) Yes – in issue 61. 3) He's an Autobot (puttup!)

Dear Soundwave,
I come from a long line of Decepticon-loving hi-fis. I have a double cassette deck and my maximum music power is 120 watts per channel. Just give us the sign, Soundwave and my troops and I will rise against these puny Carbon-Based creatures that profess to own us!
Matthew Simpson's Cassette Deck,
Southampton.

Okay, go to it!

Dear Soundwave,
I have noticed that most of the Decepticons and Autobots (puttup!) don't have guns in their Earth form, but when they transform to robot mode the guns seemingly appear from nowhere. Could you please tell me where they come from?
Tony Pritchard,
Moreton-In-Marsh.

Dear Soundwave,
I have a few questions to ask you about issue 47. 1) When the army found Snarl he was almost entirely covered by sand. Surely he would not have been buried so deep, even taking the sandstorm into account? 2) The toy Snarl has got an Autobot insignia sticker on his head where it joins. Why is it not in half so that it won't get town whilst transforming? 3) Why did General Carl Thompson walk up to the Autobots at the end of the story, when all humans hate and fear Transformers?
Ben Hockham,
Basingstoke.

According to my observer at the scene – Laserbeak – Snarl (puttup!) buried himself under the sand, meaning to camouflage himself against any possibility of attack. His solar energy collecting spine plates were left above the surface so that they could boost his strength level. Perhaps the makers of the toy Snarl (puttup!) have a perfectly natural aversion to the Autobot insignia (puttup!) and wish to see it torn in two. Difficult as it is to believe, there is a remote possibility that some Carbon-Based Units actually possess a shred of courage. Unlikely I know, but possible...

Dear Soundwave,
I bought my first Transformers comic the other day. It was number 47, and after I had finished reading it I realised just what I had been missing all this time. It is quite simply the best comic in the world. From now on I will try and buy it as often as possible. Here are some of the reasons why I think it is so brilliant – 1) 30p for a full-colour comic is great value for money, 2) it has great action stories like Dinobot-Hunt and Iron Man, and 3) it also has the funniest stories like Matt And The Cat. I have already got two Transformers toys. Could you please tell me who Shockwave is, as I have never heard of him before.
Michael Adamson,
Greenford.

By now, Carbon-Based Unit (with evident good taste) you will have met Commander Shockwave, and his entry on the Decepticon Who's Who in issue 48 will have introduced him to you more fully. And, on the subject of the Decepticon Who's Who...

Dear Soundwave,
I would like to ask you some questions. 1) In issue 48's Decepticon Who's Who, under Shockwave's description it says that he usurped command of the Decepticons from Megatron. But if, as it says under Megatron's description, Megatron is the most powerful Decepticon, how could Shockwave have beaten him? And surely the fact that Shockwave could beat Megatron makes him the most powerful Decepticon! Please explain.
Adam Fleet,
Brighton.

When he engaged Shockwave in battle, Megatron had only just recovered from being poisoned by corrosive fuel. Thus Megatron's fitness and strength were only at approximately half their normal level. He was beaten easily by Shockwave whose power levels were unimpaired. If both Megatron and Shockwave were 100% fit, Megatron would narrowly take the title of most powerful Decepticon. Look out for issue 65 wherein the two Decepticon commanders clash once more!

Dear Soundwave,
I think that the Transformers comic is really good. Your page is brill, but why have I never seen a letter from a girl on it? I have another question as well. All of those boys keep going on about who should be the leader after Megatron, but what about the Autobots? Who do you think should be leader after Optimus Prime?
Karen Robinson,
Orpington.

I make no distinction between boy and girl letter writers (I mean, one Carbon-Based Unit is the same as another Carbon-Based Unit to me). If a letter is good, I'll print it. Who should be leader of the Autobots (puttup!) after Optimus Prime (puttup!)? Simple – a Decepticon of course!

Dear Soundwave,
I like your comic very much. Please would you tell me if Megatron has ever been kind?
Alastair McAteer,
Glasgow.

Dear Soundwave,
This has gone far enough! Yes, it's about that troublemaking Transformers cartoon series again. First off, who on Earth is Skyfire?! Is this Jetfire? Has the Carbon-Based writer made an error? Or is this what Jetfire is called in the U.S.? Secondly, is Cybertron about the same size as Saturn? Yes? Well, in the cartoon is has shrunk down to the weedy size supermarket shopping centre. Any more of these cartoonic errors and I swear I'll explode!
Michael Carter,
Colchester.

I had no idea humans possessed self-destruction circuits. You learn something new every day in this job! As I have said on previous occasions too numerous to mention, the cartoon series is littered with inaccuracies and blatant mistakes. Skyfire is indeed Jetfire (puttup!) and Cybertron is larger than any planet in your miniscule solar system. For the story as it really is... read the comic!

Dear Soundwave,
I think The Transformers is ace, and I buy it every week. Twenty-four pages of high quality, glossy paper – and all in full colour... fantastic! The new artwork on your lead strip is amazing, and the current story – Dinobot-Hunt is incredible. The Fact-File Interface is very interesting. The back-up story – Iron Man – is (as ever) excellent, with great story and art.
Finally, a couple of questions for you: 1) Where did the Decepticon Fortress come from? 2) Who possessed the Creation Matrix before Optimus Prime? 3) Will the Insecticons be appearing in the comic soon?
Jonathan Kelly,
Chelmsford.

Such unrestrained gushing deserves a few answers, Carbon-Based Unit. 1) The original Decepticon HQ was assembled with materials which we plundered from a nuclear power plant. If you are wondering what became of this base, you can see it once more in issue 59's story. 2) High Councillor Traachon (puttup!). 3) Yes. When my message reaches Cybertron you will be introduced to Bomshell, Kickback and Shrapnel. This year's Transformers Annual also featured the trio.

Dear Soundwave,
I have a complaint! Your comic has the most boring stories I have ever read! Transformers simply has no action in it at all, and Mat And The Cat is just not funny. As for Iron Man, well – I fell asleep reading it!
P.S. – I am the world's biggest liar!
Craig Tuohy,
Ilford.

This is the best letter I have ever received.
P.S. – So am I!

Dear Soundwave,
Congratulations on reaching your 50th issue, Metal-Based Unit. Are you off to a party to celeb rate? If so, go steady on the oil this time (we heard all about the last time you had too much).
Paul Everill,
Marlow.

I remember no such 'last time', Carbon-Based Unit. Have a care when spreading malicious rumours about my noble personage. Such slander has been known to result in instant retribution. You have been warned!

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 46 the cover-line read 'In one savage Swoop.' Issue 47's was 'The Dinobot-Hunt is on!", and 48's was 'To slay the Swamp-thing!' Please note that if you run all these together you get – 'In one savage Swoop the Dinobot-Hunt is on to slay the Swamp-thing.' Was this done on purpose?
Benjamin Pacittis,
Glasgow.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just read Transformers No. 50. I hope you realise that this – the final episode of Dinobot-Hunt – saw the awesome results of one of the best Decepticon victories in the history of the comic. And, more important still, it was not devised by Megatron or Shockwave but by your brilliant self. You definitely get my vote for Decepticon leader.
Being a devoted follower of the Decepticon cause, I am delighted to see that Megatron is returning in issue 51. Shockwave is not my type of Decepticon at all!
Matthew White,
Alcester.

Ah, it fair makes my cassette deck swell with pride ... but it was just a small victory (says he modestly). I too am glad to see Megatron back, although this does not necessarily mean that Shockwave is on the way out. However, a confrontation between the two does seem inevitable. I am presently weighing up my loyalties.

Dear Soundwave,
After reading David Atherton's letter in issue 48, in your reply you asked the question – "Do I get the impression that some of you Carbon-Based Units out there don't like our illustrious leader, Shockwave?" Well, after some thought, I've finally decided to put it this way ... he's about as popular as a snake in a lucky dip! However, since I am a loyal Decepticon supporter, I shall say nothing else against them or their cause. Mind you, instead of wasting that nice large thermo-nuclear bomb on the one-eyed little creep, you might consider dropping it on Mount St. Hilary.
Philip Locke,
Newcastle Upon Tyne.

Not a bad idea at that. Now what did I do with that thermo-nuclear device?

Dear Soundwave,
Happy 50th Birthday to you and all the Transformers. Even though I have only collected the comic since issue 35, I am hooked on it. The whole comic is brill – fab artwork, smashing script, etc. But I would like to say that I think you need more fights.
Robert Harrison,
Stockport.

Are you volunteering to bolster the numbers?!

Dear Soundwave,
I have three questions to ask you. 1) In Dinobot-Hunt part 3 (issue 49), Jazz says "I'll get the M.A.R.B." What on Cybertron is a M.A.R.B.? 2) In the same issue, Jetfire actually talks. How can this be? Last we saw of him, he was a mindless being controlled by Buster Witwicky. 3) How long will it be before Megatron returns to kill Shockwave (and you)?
Alex Lawson,
Newark-On-Trent.

This really is turning into a 'we hate Shockwave' letters page, isn't it? What do you mean – and you?! I've done nothing that Megatron could possibly find fault with. I have remained loyal to the Decepticon cause, regardless of who leads us. And anyway, as soon as I learned of Megatron's revival I made sure I was straight back in his good books. M.A(puttup!).R.B. stands for Mobile Autobot (puttup!) Repaid Bay. Jetfire (puttup!) evidently received proper life through the power of the Creation Matrix.

Dear Soundwave,
I have a little story for you. The Autobots were patrolling an area on Earth when Prowl heard a banging sound. He went to investigate and found Soundwave, who punched him on the nose, knocking him to the ground. Soundwave, as angry as ever, saw Huffer watching him and blasted the mini-Autobot in the chest. Satisfied, he returned to the Decepticon base.
Gary Mungins,
Manchester.

Dear Soundwave,
Since issue 42 the Transformers comic has improved in leaps and bounds. I have been telling all my friends about the story Dinobot-Hunt and two out of the ten I told have now started collecting the comic. The others (puttup!) simply have no taste at all!
Amit Aysola,
Rugby.

Send full address for mini-Autobot (puttup!), Carbon-Based Unit!

Dear Soundwave,
I have been a great fan of yours for ages now, and I buy the comic every week. I told one of my best friends how good Transformers is, and now he's a regular reader as well. This is the seventh time I have written to you, but still my name hasn't made it onto your ever popular page.
Colin Hendry,
Fazeley.

All Carbon-Based Units, pay heed. These two fleshlings have evidently received the right programming, for instead of just reading and enjoying Transformers themselves, they have read and enjoyed Transformers and spread the word about how good the comic is to their fellow humans. Bear in mind that for each new reader you introduce to the world of the Transformers, not only do you brighten their lives, but – most importantly – you gain the unspoken praise of Soundwave. As you fleshlings say ... go to it!

Dear Soundwave,
I think the Transformers comic is great. I can't wait until Saturday mornings come around so that I can go along to the newsagents and collect my weekly dose of superb action and adventure. Could you please answer me these three questions: 1) Who is the second strongest Decepticon? 2) When are you going to release a Transformers video? 3) Is there a Transformers fan club that I can join?
Nicholas Martin,
Rochester.

Let's see now... Shockwave has marginally less power than Megatron, making him the second strongest Decepticon. I understand from my human helpers (ha!) that a video cassette entitled Arrival From Cybertron is available now. You can find more details on this issue's Transformation page. What is this infatuation you fleshlings have with fan clubs? Everyone who reads this comic is automatically a member of one giant fan club. There's no need to make it official.

Dear Soundwave,
I have a complaint. What in Cybertron's sake happened to Robo-Capers in issue 51?! Also, congratulations are in order for the brilliant idea of a Transformers sticker album. I have been waiting for years for something like it. Well done.
Matthew Moore,
Norwich.

Dear Soundwave,
Decepticon superiority – HA! You may have made a mess of some of the Autobots and Dinobots during the Dinobot Hunt, but the Autobots have still got a lot of active warriors. And once the rest are all fixed up (you don't think Hasbro are going to take a couple of models off the market just because of you, do you?!) you're going to be in a lot of trouble. Jetfire and the Dinobots could make mincemeat out of you lot!
P.S. – You are an animated, corroding slag-heap of a tape recorder that couldn't even blast a mousehole, let alone a ghetto.
Edz. H.,
Aberdeen.

Dear Soundwave,
My brother gets the Transformers comic regularly, and I enjoy reading it. I agree with Stuart Robinson's letter in issue 49 – you were horrible luring Bumblebee into your trap like that. I hate you (especially) and all the Decepticons. I think you are a useless lump of scrap metal. The Autobots are great and they will easily beat you – just you wait and see!
Cathy Lambsheed,
Dawlish.

Of late I have received complaints that I only let biased, pro-Decepticon letters see print on my page. This – as anyone reading the above two letters can plainly see – is patently untrue. There is a certain satisfaction to be gained from listening to some of you Carbon-Based Units ranting on about how much you hate the Decepticons. It proves we must be doing something right. Now, let's see – where do these two live...?!

Dear Soundwave,
I cannot decide which side to be on; Autobot or Decepticon? I hope Megatron and Shockwave get destroyed somehow, so that you can become leader of the Decepticons. I hope your training session with the Constructicons went well.
P.S. – Please don't show this letter to Megatron or Shockwave.
Christopher Hemsley,
Rochester.

Dear Soundwave,
Your comic is brilliant! Words simply cannot describe how good it is. After a few months of reading the comic, I have compiled a list of information, questions and ideas on the Transformers:
Whilst reading issue 51, I came across David Vickers' letter suggesting the possibility of binders for the comics. I reckon they'd sell like ice creams in a desert. My comics get read frequently and are now becoming rather tatty. I'm sure lots of other readers agree about the need for binders.
A few moans – I am almost disgraced to be a Decepticon fan with the current ratio of Autobots to Decepticons. Amazingly there is an average of 37.8 Autobots to only 18.8 Decepticons shown in each comic. On the other hand, there has been a 45% increase in the rate of Autobot injury, proving you to be the best leader of all. In this year's Transformers Annual, Shrapnel shouts – 'all enemies of the Autobots must die!', surely this must be a mistake. Also in the Annual – among the puzzle answers – Ravage and Laserbeak are named wrongly. This mix-up could be fatal for a newcomer ... how would you like being called Starscream?!
Nicholas Locke,
Workingham.

Aaargh – what a horrible thought! My human helpers (ha!) humbly apologise for the Ravage/Laserbeak mix-up and promise it won't happen again (I'll say it won't!). On the other hand, Shrapnel shouted his support of the Autobots (puttup!) to make the humans believe that Optimus Prime (puttup!) was behind the attack. Work on the binders is proceeding apace – more news as this develops. The imbalance in the Autobot (puttup!)/Decepticon ratio gets evened out a little bit more with each successive battle!

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 28, Megatron was pushed off a cliff by the Autobot, Ratchet. He landed in a deep snowdrift, but in issue 51's story he was found in a stream. Why is this?
Adam Gough,
Halesowen.

The snow melted.

Dear Soundwave,
I'm sorry to say that you might have some competition, because on my holiday to Germany I saw a Transformer called Blaster. Guess what? It transforms from a robot to a cassette player and it's an Autobot. I couldn't read the 'tech specs' because they were in German, but I recognised the Autobot insignia and the name was in English. Will Blaster be appearing in any upcoming stories, and will he be available as a toy over here?
Juha Cowdrey,
Huntingdon.

Pah! Competition?! Feeble imitation more like. Blaster (puttup!) is known to me from years ago on Cybertron ... I can only imagine that some Decepticon has since mercifully put him out of the misery of his existence. I understand that issue 66's story focuses on the arrival of the message I sent to Cybertron back in issue 36, so if any Autobots are still alive you can check up on Blaster's (puttup!) fate then. There are no plans to release his toy version in Britain at this time.

Dear Soundwave,
I must congratulate the artists and all the staff at Marvel for putting together such a brilliant comic as Transformers. Why can't the Decepticons and the Autobots sort things out between each other and live peacefully?
Iain Marchant,
Southwick.

It would make a boring story, don't you agree?!

Dear Soundwave,
In the Panini Transformers sticker album it says that Jetfire (puttup!) was a missing Cybertron scientist, and that he was found buried on Earth under the ice. Is this the case, or is this some pathetic human ploy? By the way, I think your comic is the best in the world ... so I'll keep on buying it.
Michael Holton,
Wellingborough.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you tell me what has happened to the pictures and the colouring in recent issues of the comic? Since Christmas Breaker (issue 41) the artistry has been excellent – almost like a Christmas present of its own. But – as of issue 51 – it's gone back to substandard dotty colouring and often ropey drawing. I still like the comic because the story maintains such a high pitch. Also, the covers have been very good – I would especially like to congratulate John Higgins who drew the excellent cover to issue 50.
David Ward,
Leeds.

With indecisiveness typical of your species, my human helpers (ha!) tell me they are experimenting with different colouring methods at the moment, hence the variations you have referred to. Rest assured that I will be helping them make up their minds very quickly – especially where my colour scheme is concerned!

Dear Soundwave,
In the story Dawn Of The Devastator, you sent a message to Cybertron. When will we find out if it reached its destination? My favourite Autobots are: 1) Wheeljack, 2) Optimus Prime, and 3) Brawn. Favourite Decepticons are: 1) Megatron, 2) Ramjet, and 3) Soundwave.
Sean Hornby,
Harrogate.

You will discover the repercussions of that message in issue 66, when it reaches Cybertron. However, for the moment, I can hardly credit my optical sensors... YOU HAVE FAVOURITE AUTOBOTS?! Puttup, puttup, puttup!

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 54's free mini-comic you gave us a glimpse of the future of the Transformers in the shape of the four giant robots – Superion, Defensor, Menasor and Bruticus. Why was the existing giant robot – Devastator – not included?
Christopher Cox,
East Sussex.

You answer your own question, fleshling. The Special Teams insert, as you correctly state, concerns the future of the Transformers. Devastator represents the present, as can plainly be seen from this (and next) issue's story. For more on the future, don't miss issues 63-65.

Dear Soundwave,
For a Decepticon you certainly are proving your power over the Carbon-Based Units you have working for you! The last back up story – Robotix – was complete brilliance. My favourite Protecton was Bront and my favourite Terrokor was Steggor. I followed the four-part story with considerable interest... a most enjoyable slice of mechanised action, if I may say so.
Colin Hendry,
Tamworth.

You certainly may, fleshling. I have to admit my sympathies lie with the Terrokors. That said, I feel that the reasoning behind mechanical beings that need humans to make them more powerful is somewhat unsound!

Dear Soundwave,
Will there be a Transformers Annual in 1987? Also, will there be a calendar for the same year? By the way, why wasn't your fact-file in the Transformers sticker album? I think you ought to throttle the makers.
Hugo Ridolin,
London N7.

Soundwave,
I didn't put 'dear' because you're not a dear to me. I have a question to ask of you. I have been collecting Transformers since issue 34, and have just read the Man Of Iron story in your latest special. If this story ran in issues 9-12, how come the Autobots were still functional? In the Last Stand (issue 8) all the Autobots were blown away by Shockwave. Please explain.
James O'Neill,
Birkenhead.

Dear Soundwave,
Are we to assume that The Enemy Within (issues 13-17) was fictional? Or was it just an oversight on your part that Red Alert (who appeared in that story) was not included in the Autobot Who's Who?
On the subject of fiction, remember Decepticon Dam-Busters? Well, a quick glance at the free sticker album (which contains stories from the cartoon series) will reveal a picture of Optimus Prime battling Megatron atop a dam, using medieval weapons. This seems vaguely familiar, doesn't it? Could it be that Decepticon Dam-Busters was also a fictional story?
Edz H.,
Aberdeen.

The events in both Man of Iron and The Enemy Within are set before our triumph over the Autobots (puttup!) in issue 8. A glance at next issue's Robot War III feature will show you exactly where they fit into the chronology. Red Alert (puttup!) was critically injured during the aforementioned triumph and remains deactivated. His omission from the Who's Who was quite deliberate – on my part (snigger). As I have mentioned before, the cartoon series borrows its stories from the events documented in this comic, hence the scenes portrayed in the sticker album.

Dear Soundwave,
Your comic is brill, fab and superb. In fact my only complaint is that we are going to have to wait till issue 63 before we get any more Special Teams action. I liked Robotix, but feel that Rocket Raccoon is going to be even better. I have one question – when are Special Teams going to be in the shops?
Peter Elliot,
Belfast.

Such is the wonder of the letters system in this comic ... now you only have one week to wait for the next appearance of Special Teams! Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself! Special Teams are available in all good toyshops now.

Dear Soundwave,
The art for Dinobot-Hunt was brilliant, as was the story. Will Simpson and Barry Kitson are first-class artists. Please, let's see some more from them. The Megatron story wasn't so good art-wise, but the story was interesting. The Sticker Book and stickers made a great free gift. Now that we've got the five new Autobots – Skids, Tracks, Smokescreen, Grapple and Hoist – in the story, how about introducing the Jumpstarters and the new mini-Autobots? Glad to see Shockwave back, but let's see Megatron beat him up this time, eh? Well, until that over-sized rubbish bin, Soundwave can answer questions properly ... keep up the good work.
Christopher Phelon,
Bristol.

Dear Soundwave,
Inspired by your illustrious comic, I wrote this short poem about your arrival on Earth:

Deep in the realms of space,
There is a place,
Of Robots and Machinery,
Full of metallic scenery,
Stretching on and on,
That place is Cybertron.

A war burst out,
There was no doubt.
A war that lasted a thousand years,
And caused many metallic tears.
But then – a crisis in space,
Time to leave this threatened place.

But war raged on,
After leaving Cybertron.
Their spaceship crashed,
Transformers bashed.
They lay dormant on our Earth,
Waiting for REBIRTH!

Kevin Wootton,
York.

Quite magnificent, fleshling. I confidently predict that this poem will be topping the inter-galactic bestseller lists before very long. Conclusive proof that Transformers is the thinking Carbon-Based Units' comic!

Dear Soundwave,
I have just finished issue 56. How come Shockwave wants Bumblebee? It doesn't seem very long ago (issue 43) that you were after him. How can you be so cruel to the weakest mini-Autobot?!
I enjoyed Collected Comics 3, which contained the Man Of Iron story. What was the name of the Autobot in the rescue ship, and what was the name of the Decepticon that destroyed the Man Of Iron? I am from the U.S.A. and enjoy your Transformers comic very much. The Autobot and Decepticon I like the most are Optimus Prime and Soundwave. I hate Megatron (puttup!)
Matthew Waller,
Hyde.

Any strategist knows that a weak link in your enemy's defences is to be exploited. Hence the attention we have lavished on Bumblebee (puttup!). You can be sure we'll get him next time. The Autobot (puttup!) in the rescue ship was known as Navigator (puttup!). Thundercracker was responsible for the Man Of Iron's destruction.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you answer these two questions:
1) Whilst reading my Autobot/Decepticon Who's Who I noticed that there are nearly twice as many Autobots as Decepticons. Up against these sort of odds, I would have thought that the Decepticons would have lost the battle long ago. Instead, they seem to be winning! How can this be?
2) Can any of the Transformers fly in their robot form? If so, which ones?
Guy Grenville,
Southport.

The answer to your first question should be obvious, Carbon-Based Unit. We are winning simply because we are superior warriors. And anyway, most of the Autobots (puttup!) in their Who's Who have been deactivated in the course of the struggle, more or less evening out the imbalance. Hmm, I wonder if this is – in fact – a contradiction in terms. Oh well, never mind. Those capable of robot-form flight are Laserbeak, Buzzsaw and Shockwave for the Decepticons, and Sideswipe (puttup!) for the Autobots (puttup!). And before all you pen-happy fleshlings write in to tell me that more Transformers fly in the cartoon series, I KNOW! But like I have said many times before, those stories are fiction, nothing more.

Dear Soundwave (puttup!),
We are great fans of yours (snigger), so we have made a data file for you:
NAME: SOUNDWAVE (what kinda name is that?!)
FUNCTION: Being a PEST.
MOTTO: "Cries and screams are music to my ears." (Not another strange music lover!)
ABILITIES: He has none, virtually an immobile slag-heap. Soundwave has never yet won a battle. Optimus Prime (Cheer) splatted him when rescuing Bumblebee in issue 44.
WEAKNESSES: Uncountable.
Chris Wylie and Kenneth Dowzer, Pensby.

Dear Soundwave,
On issue 54's Soundwaves page you told Tony Pritchard that it was your own business where you stored your weapons when you transformed. Well, I've discovered where they go. On your back there is a belt-clip. That belt-clip, when removed, reveals an empty space into which your high amplification directional radiowave sensor and your concussion blaster-gun fit perfectly.
Edward Hannaby,
Wrexham.

The blatant clue I dropped in my reply to Tony Pritchard's letter concerning my 'battery of weapons' should have made the location of my arsenal evident to one and all, so don't get carried away with any self-congratulation over your discovery, fleshling.

Dear Soundwave,
Recently I saw a catalogue that contained the new range of Transformer toys from Hasbro. One of those making their first appearance was an Autobot warrior called Ultra Magnus. Does Ultra Magnus come from Cybertron? And will he take over command of the Autobots from Optimus Prime? On the Decepticon side we have someone called Galvatron. Will he be taking over the Decepticons?
Andrew Bober,
Colchester.

The names you mention are unfamiliar to me, Carbon-Based Unit. It is always possible they are new Transformers from Cybertron whom I am yet to meet ... but I cannot say for sure. Perhaps we shall encounter these two in future stories. As they say... who knows what tomorrow may bring!

Dear Soundwave,
I have three problems. Firstly, the picture of Optimus Prime in the front cover box has been the same on every issue since 38. Has rigor mortis set in to Prime? Secondly, the Combaticon, Vortex has the same name as a cleansing liquid us Carbon-Based Units flush down the toilet. Why didn't you give this name to an Autobot? It would have been much more appropriate. I think in future Decepticon names should be chosen more carefully. Thirdly – and finally – I have counted up to 89 Transformers including Guardian and Teletran. Is that all of them?
Luke Upchurch,
London SW16.

And I have three solutions (well, sort of!). Firstly, we can but hope so. Secondly, I hope word of this doesn't get out or we'll be severely panned by the critics, while the Autobots will be flushed with success. Thirdly – and finally – as this issue and subsequent issues will no doubt bring home to you, there are considerably more than 89 Transformers, counting those on Earth and Cybertron. Guardian (puttup!) and Teletran are not Transformers – Guardian is a battle-droid and Teletran is a creation of that woefully inaccurate cartoon series.

Dear Soundwave,
I'm writing to tell you that we have a mini-Decepticon in our house. She's called Misty, our pet cat. Every time Tailgate, the mini-Autobot, comes into her sights, she tries to chew his arms off!
Simon Chubb,
Barrow-in-Furness.

Obviously an intelligent species, this cat.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just read and enjoyed issue 58 of the fantastic-as-ever Transformers comic. I don't know if your cerebro circuitry has detected it yet, but the Autobot, Bumblebee (puttup!) is gradually undergoing cosmetic metal surgery!
I only noticed it when I turned back to issue 43 (I was checking to see if the "stupid-looking robot with the big hands", as seen in 58's Robo-Capers, did indeed last appear in issue 43) and saw the picture of Bumblebee (puttup!) saying "OOOPS!" while being faced by ten weapons. Comparing this front cover to the close-up of Bumblebee (puttup!) on page 11 of issue 58, it isn't hard to see the difference. Could this be part of a major Autobot (puttup!) plan to confuse Decepticon visual sensors??
Michael Thompson,
Lancaster.

Dear Soundwave (puttup!),
Okay – no more mister nice guy! The joke's gone too far... it's time to come clean, spill the beans – and just tell me what it means! I refer, of course, to the word 'puttup!'. You have a simple choice, either tell me what it means or I'll pulp every micro-circuit in your body! Phew – almost lost control there. Neil Fantham,
Tamworth.

Dear Soundwave,
Your eye circuits are feeling heavy... you feel sleepy... after reading my letter you will switch yourself off for ten micro-second and then print my letter on your Soundwaves page, answering it by telling me exactly what 'puttup!' means. Yours hypnotically,
Peter Martin,
Co. Meath.

Neither threats nor hypnosis can make me reveal the meaning of 'puttup!'. However, those of you who have read this issue's story in any depth will now know exactly what 'puttup!' means. The secret – at long last – is out! Mind you, I think you'd have to be pretty slow not to have guessed for yourselves after forty or more puttupping issues...

Dear Soundwave,
I was reading Alex Lawson's letter in issue 57, and in your reply you said – "this really is turning into a 'we hate Shockwave' letters page, isn't it?". Well, I personally think Shockwave is brilliant. I can't wait until issue 65 when he and Megatron meet again. Megatron's bound to get trashed. Shockwave deserves to be much more popular than he is.
George Clayton,
Farnborough.

I'm sure that Commander (or should I say – joint Commander?) Shockwave has his legion of supporters out there somewhere. But to be honest I seriously doubt that he really cares in the least. Like me he feels a certain sense of accomplishment in knowing that people hate him. He feels – quite rightly – that it means he must be doing something right!

Dear Soundwave,
While reading the Man Of Iron story in Collected Comics No. 3 my dog walked straight up to it and wiped its muddy paws on the pages. Do you think you could send Ravage round to sort him out please? By the way, when is the next Special due out?
Paul Murphy,
London SE9.

Dear Soundwave,
Please could you settle an argument between me and my brother. He is an Autobot fan (puttup!) which makes living with him almost unbearable! In issue 59, when the cowardly Robot-Buster (puttup!) blasted Frenzy in the back, Frenzy's eyes caught fire. I say this was because he was angry, whereas my brother maintains it was because his circuitry was on fire. Who is right?
Stephen Sillibourne,
Ashford.

You are both right, fleshlings. The emotion of extreme anger in a Transformer causes the delicate circuitry that forms a web across our optical receptors to glow with power, producing the fiery effect. It is a refinement that can be used to instill fear in one's enemies.

Dear Soundwave,
I have noticed that several Decepticons, including yourself, shrink when they take on their earthly forms. My colleagues and I have conferred on the matter and we have formed the following theory to explain this phenomenon. Could you either confirm or correct it?
Here is the theory: When the aforementioned Decepticons take on their earthly forms they expel the excess molecules in the form of an invisible, low density gas which adheres to its Decepticon source through magnetic attraction. When the Decepticons return to their robot forms, they ingest this gas and return it to its original form.
M. Harry E. Healey, A.P. (Automatic Physiologist),
Sheffield.

Come again?!

Dear Soundwave,
I think your comic is brilliant, fabulous, and excellent! Words cannot describe how good it is (well, apart from those I've just used)! I have a question to ask you – who or what on Earth (or on Cybertron) is Guardian? I have picked up a few hints as to who he is, but would like to know all the facts. My thanks, metal-based unit.
Lee Glover,
Exeter.

To save me a lot of time, fleshling, take it for granted that there is a silent 'puttup' after each mention of Guardian's name. Guardian was one of a series of combat droids built by the Autobots (puttup!) for the more hazardous or boring tasks – guard duty being the most common of these. Guardian was given the task of guarding the Ark's living computer. Guardian was turned on its masters by that same computer (it was suffering from damage to its logic circuits) and the Autobots (puttup!) had to render both of them inactive. When the Decepticons took over the Ark we repaired and reprogrammed Guardian, adding the extra refinement of a high density thermo-nuclear bomb concealed within him. Guardian later self-destructed, although Swoop (puttup!) prevented him from doing any serious damage.

Dear Soundwave,
After re-reading my favourite story – Dinobot-Hunt! – I noticed that in issue 50 that puttupping pest, Bumblebee, said something like, 'Wait a minute, I've got eight other sense, why not use 'em!' What am I missing by only having a mere five senses?
Kieran Mackle,
Limavady.

Dear Soundwave,
I don't know much about you because my brother, Christopher, doesn't let me read his comic. Why shouldn't girls read Transformers? I managed to read issue 59 and really enjoyed the story, Robot-Buster and the cartoon, Matt and the Cat. I thought the Human Who's Who was very good and read it twice.
Caroline Ayling,
Hildenborough.

Dear Soundwave,
My brother, Paul, gets your comic every week. Little does he know that when he's in bed I sit up reading his latest issue. I thoroughly enjoy reading your comic and I especially like your letters page. Paul thinks you are evil, but I told him that different people have different opinions. I personally think you're really great, and that your voice is the best one from the cartoon series. My best friend, Anne Marie, thinks Megatron is best, but I think you would make the better leader.
Helen Mainwaring,
Liverpool.

This absurd belief that Transformers is solely to be enjoyed by the male of your species confounds my logic centres! Transformers is designed to appeal to anyone who loves action, adventure and thrills. I would suggest that Carbon Based Unit, Caroline Ayling, either follows the strategy of Carbon Based Unit, Helen Mainwaring, and nabs her brother's copy while he's asleep, or simply gets her own copy!

Dear Soundwave,
I simply loved the first episode of Devastation Derby in issue 61, especially the bit where Smokescreen accidentally bashed Sparkplug's head on his roof! I am a great fan of the Decepticons (although Shockwave really isn't my kind of robot – I despise him) and my favourite is the Constructicon, Longhaul. By the way, one of the letters you printed on issue 59's Soundwaves page was daft. Christopher Hemsley actually asked you if your training session with the Constructicons went well. With Soundwave in charge, of course it went well!
Matthew Irving,
Fareham.

Quite so, fleshling, but I am willing to allow Carbon Based Unit, Christopher Hemsley, the benefit of the doubt and assume that he didn't realise how infallible I am.

Dear Soundwave,
In issue 58 I read on your fantastic letters page that somebody had told ten of his friends how fantastic Transformers was and that two of them had started reading it. For me it happened the other way around. One of my friends at school told me how good Transformers was. At first I just started borrowing his, but now – you will be pleased to know – I am getting my own copy each week. I got so caught up in the fantastic stories I couldn't resist it. Can you tell me if the Transformers on Earth will ever meet up with the Transformers on Cybertron?
Vincent Dawes,
Newport.

Dear Soundwave,
I think your comic is the greatest in the whole universe. I love the full-colour lead story and Robo-Capers, and think that your current back-up story – Rocket Raccoon is the best yet.
Your best artists are John Stokes, Barry Kitson and John Higgins. John S. does brill Autobots, Barry draws great pictures of Shockwave, and John H. does fantastic Dinobots.
James Bailey,
Wells.

Logically then, Carbon Based Unit, we should get those three artists to draw a story featuring Shockwave, the Dinobots (puttup!) and the Autobots (puttup!). But perhaps that would be a little one-sided... they're no real match for Shockwave

Dear Soundwave,
I noticed in issue 59's story, Robot-Buster, that Buster lost his voice when he was yelling at Optimus Prime. Then just two issues later, in issue 61's, Devastation Derby it happened again, only this time to you! When you were talking to Commander Shockwave all that came out was an empty speech bubble. Did Buster have a sore throat? Was there something wrong with your vocal simulation circuitry? Or maybe you should just have a word (a strong word) with your human helpers!
Heath Welch,
Brandon.

Tell me, Carbon Based Unit, would you believe that both Buster (puttup!) and myself were so choked with outrage that all we could manage to utter was an empty speech bubble?! No? Okay then, I'll have a very strong word with my human helpers (ha!)!

Dear Soundwave,
I would like to tell you that Robot-Buster is the best Transformer I've seen in the comic since you first appeared. I've a couple of questions for you: 1) When will Rocket Raccoon stop? Because I think it is stupid. 2) When will there be a poster featuring the Constructicons? I think they're great.

Dear Soundwave,
Does AUTOBOTS (puttup!) stand for Awfully Untelligent, Terrible Obstinate, Brainless, Outstandingly, Tremendously Stupid OR Automatic, Unintelligent, Terrible dim, Obstinate, Brainless, Outstandingly stupid, Tactless, Stainless steel tinker toys?
Michael Stacey,
Balerno.

Either of them, really.

Dear Soundwave,
According to the Autobot Who's Who, Jetfire is the Autobot Aerospace Commander. Why is this? He has only just joined the Autobots!
Michael Davies,
Buxton.

He can fly.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just thought of a new idea for Transformers. You know we can now get Transformers annuals, books and cassettes, but I bet you never thought of this – how about a Transformers dictionary? It would be great for newcomers to the comic as well as older readers. Some people might not know what energon cubes are, for example.
Marco Bolli,
Scunthorpe.

Hmm, a Transformers dictionary. Possible. Might even decide to serialise it in this comic. Keep watching on that one. What is almost definite for late this year, or early next year, is The Transformers Universe – the definitive Who's Who of all Transformers. More news on this as it develops.

Dear Soundwave,
You've been sent a lot of letters concerning the Transformers cartoon series, so I decided to make a fact-file for it.
NAME: TRANSFORMERS (obviously)
FUNCTION: Giving the wrong idea about the Transformers story.
MOTTO: "Getting it wrong is what life's all about!"
ABILITIES: The cartoon has been known to drive kids up the wall, and make Soundwave crazy having to answer all the letters about inconsistencies.
WEAKNESSES: The cartoon stories.
Andrew Hawthorne,
Rainham.

Dear Soundwave,
I have just received issue 63 of your fabulous comic. The first part of Second Generation – featuring the new Special Teams – seems great. I'm glad to see that this is where Megatron returns to (hopefully) throttle Shockwave.
One complaint – in my free Special Teams wallchart I got a vertical card of Onslaught to stick in a horizontal space. Can you resolve this?
Neil McClean,
Brixham.

This is yet another example of the carbon-based errors that seem to plague this publication from time to time. By now you will also have discovered that Silverbolt's card was the wrong shape, and next issue you'll discover that your final card – Menasor – is suffering from the same ailment. My human helpers (ha!) all plead innocence – so, not wanting to seem unfair, I'll neuro-shock them all. Your best bet with the cards is to trim the white space above and below the characters concerned. You'll find that they sit comfortably in their correct position then.

Dear Soundwave,
Even though I am a loyal Autobot fan, it is to a Decepticon (you) that I turn to for the answers to some questions. Can you help?
1) On page 12 of issue 62 there was an advertisement for 'Books From Marvel'. One of these was entitled – Transformers, The Complete Works. Could you tell me what stories it contains?
2) Has The Complete Works reprinted the complete story of Dinobot-Hunt, as I missed issue 47? If not, will it be reprinted in the future?
Jonathan Gurr,
Barry.

The first edition of Transformers, The Complete Works contains the stories originally presented in Transformers, issues 1-4, and chronicles the beginning of the war on Cybertron, the Ark's crash-landing on Earth, and the first clashes between us and the Autobots (puttup!) on this planet. Dinobot-Hunt has not yet been reprinted anywhere. It is most likely to turn up in a Transformers Collected Comics special.

Dear Soundwave,
When I read the Robot War II feature in Transformers 63 I noticed that it said the last functioning curcuits of the Ark detected Shockwave's presence and used its remaining power to reconstruct five Autobots in the image of Earth's dinosaurs. But in issue 46 it said – "Maybe not Swoop the Dinobot, but on Cybertron Swoop was known as Divebomb." How can this be, when he was constructed on Earth?
Adam Fear,
Southall.

You answer your own question, fleshling. The key word is 'reconstruct'. The Ark took the Autobot called Divebomb (puttup!) and re-built him in the image of Earth's pterodactyl, re-naming him Swoop (puttup!). It was the same for the other four Dinobots (puttup!).

Dear Soundwave,
In the story Plague Of The Insecticons in this year's Transfomers Annual, Optimus Prime releases his scout unit. We are told that it shares his thoughts, his substance, and his feelings. If so, when Kickback destroys the unit, how come Prime wasn't destroyed as well?
Justin Wright,
Dungannon.

Dear Soundwave,
I think that Optimus Prime is stupid. For instance, in issue 48's story – Dinobot Hunt – he sent three mini-Autobots after the powerful Dinobot, Sludge. Like I said, stupid.
Ken Hill,
Kirkliston.

No argument there, Carbon-Based Unit.

Dear Soundwave,
This is the first time I've written to Transformers, so bear with me. I bought Transformers from issues 1-10 and then (have mercy) forgot about it. Much later, after reading about Transformers in Secret Wars, I ordered it from my newsagents.
Transformers has been like a breath of fresh air! The format is ideal – two strips, full colour, and a letters page. I could mention a couple of other comics that could do with the Decepticon touch. I notice you keep talking about inaccuracies in the cartoon series. How about producing a definitive book, listing all the Transformers and their abilities? This would be of great use for settling queries, and fun at the same time.
Finally, I'd like to mention that the Care Bears and He-Man have made it to the cinema. Any chance of seeing your glorious selves on the big screen? Well, Soundwave, best of luck in ruling the world and I think you've got the best voice in the cartoon series!
Faiz Rehman,
Tredegar.

Glad to see that you have rediscovered Transformers, Carbon-Based Unit. The definitive book of Transformers profiles is already in the works. We hope to have The Transformers Universe in print before very long. Could save a lot of letter answering time! The big screen is most definitely about to be conquered by the Transformers. More on this as it develops. And one of the real successes of the cartoon series has been the fact that they have got my voice exactly right. It is, of course – as you rightly point out – the best.

Dear Soundwave,
While reading issue 64 I spotted two mistakes. 1) When the Combaticons arrived, Onslaught was talking to Vortex. But Vortex was coloured as Blades. Was this a trick to fool the Autobots? 2) When Superion arrived, Menasor says – 'take him out, Dead End', and yet it is Drag Strip who is holding the gun. Has Drag Strip changed his name? I think you should send the spy cassettes round to see the artist!
Tom Abbott,
Plymouth.

This, fleshlings, is what they term a 'believe it or not' answer. Chances are you won't believe it, but that's life. Believe it or not, Vortex possesses camouflage circuits that enable him to disguise himself as Blades (puttup!). And, believe it or not, Menasor was so thrown by Superion's (puttup!) arrival that he forgot that Drag Strip was – in fact – his right arm, not Dead End.

Dear Soundwave,
On the front cover of issue 65 I noticed the best thing that has ever happened to the comic. I am referring to the rectangle in the top left-hand corner that usually contains the picture of Optimus Prime (aargh!). Please congratulate whoever decided to cover it up with the start advertising the FREE Special Teams card. Ask them to do it again, will you?
Andrew Hayton,
Wigan.

As you will have seen, fleshling, the star remained on the covers until this issue, when it reverted to the hated Optimus Prime (puttup!). However, Prime's (puttup!) days in the front cover box are numbered. As of issue 74 (see this issue's Trans Formation page for more details) a new cover box makes its debut. Watch for it.

Dear Soundwave,
You are COOL!
James Osborne,
Holmfirth.

Dear Soundwave,
Could you please tell me what to do with the Robot-Points on the back of Transformer boxes?
Scott Jowett,
Havant.

Your best bet is to get in touch with the toy company who make Transformers to find out what your Robot Points are worth. Their address is: Hasbro Industries (UK) Ltd., Eskdale Road, Winnersh Triangle, Wokingham, Berkshire, RG11 5LW. Best to enclose a stamp-addressed envelope.

Dear Soundwave,
Is Shockwave fed up with humans calling him a fruit machine? (ie: One-armed bandit! Snigger.) Has logic dictated that the leader of the dirty deceps should now have two arms with hands? If not, then this is just another of those carbon-based errors that tend to crop up in Transformers. I refer to page 10 of issue 63. In the last picture Shockwave clearly has TWO HANDS! By the way, I've got a question for you. How was Prime able to give life to the Constructicons when he'd already transferred the matrix to Buster?
Billy Hughes,
Birmingham.

The sequence you refer to in issue 63 was part of the human, Buster Witwicky's nightmare. Buster's feeble human mind merely saw Shockwave as having two hands at that particular instant. There was still enough of the Matrix's power (a residue) left in Prime's (puttup!) mind to give life to the Constructicons. That task, however, used up all that was left, thereby denying Shockwave's second creation – Jetfire – life.

Dear Soundwave,
Transformers comic is brill!
P.S. – Is this the shortest letter you've ever received?
Michael Phillips,
Stockport.

No.
P.S. – Is this the shortest answer to a letter you've ever received?

Dear Soundwave,
I have just read the first episode of The Smelting Pool (issue 66) and already it has raised some questions which I hope you will be able to answer for me. Here goes 1) On the back of Cosmos' tech specs it says that he orbits Earth and often pops down to the surface for a visit. How can this be if he's based on Cybertron? 2) In the first Transformers Annual there is a story entitled Plague Of The Insecticons which features – logically enough – the Insecticons. How can this be if they're based on Cybertron?
Matthew Pearson,
Gosport.

Could it possibly be that the Cybertron-based Autobots (puttup!) and the Insecticons will all be coming to Earth as Cosmos (puttup!) has already done? Nah, that'd be too obvious.

Dear Soundwave,
Wednesday, 11th June: In just a few short days I'll be walking – no, running to my local newsagents to buy the latest copy of The Transformers.
Friday, 13th June: I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. It is 5.35 AM and I can't stand the suspense of waiting for my newsagents to open. Eventually I manage to get back to sleep. 7.35 AM – I'm out of bed, washed, dressed and hurtling towards said newsagents. I gratefully get my hands on my ordered copy of Transformers, pausing to search frantically through its pages for my Special Teams card. Phew – it's there. Having read the issue I realise it's another whole week until the next issue of Transformers. Oh well, it's worth the wait...
Chris Stead,
Brighton.

Pay Attention Soundwave!
I am Sonic, supreme chancellor of the Decepticons. Take heed of my words. As chancellor I have been observing the pathetic attempts of you Earth-bound Decepticons to become the supreme race. You, Soundwave, are less use to us than a Carbon-Based Unit. Your victory rate is disgusting and that cannot be tolerated. I will be arriving shortly on Earth to terminate your existence. You will probably run from me like the cowering toad you are, but this has been anticipated. Your days are numbered.
Sonic (Matthew Evans),
Reading.

It amuses me sometimes when you fleshlings dare to impersonate a Decepticon. But be warned, my tolerance for these transgressions is not limitless. Indeed, such comments as 'cowering toad' have been known to provoke swift and painful revenge!

Dear Soundwave,
What has happened to your logic circuits? You said in issue 63 that only four Earth-bound Transformers could fly. But I know for a fact that Wheeljack can fly. I quote from his tech-specs: "Flying range 800 miles using solid fuel rockets in arms." And I'm sure that many other Transformers can fly. Maybe you ought to give your cerebro-circuitry an overhaul.
Neil NcClean,
Brixham.

Okay, Okay! I admit I overlooked Wheeljack (puttup!) when I listed those that can fly. But then he is only an Autubot (pututp!) and very easy to overlook. Having said that, those who wrote in saying I'd forgotten to include Jetfire (puttup!) and Cosmos (puttup!) are wrong. I was only listing those that can fly in robot-mode, not those that can fly when transformed.!

Dear Soundwave,
I think you are better than Blaster (puttup!) and that the Autobots only made him because they were jealous of you!
Leo Miles,
Manchester.

Quite so. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. However, this won't stop me from turning Blaster (puttup!) into so much scrap metal if our paths ever cross.

Well, Carbon-Based Units, much as it pleases... sorry, pains me to say this, the time has come for me to take my leave of this page. I would like to say it's been fun, but why end on an untruth? I'm off to devote my full attention to crushing the Autobots (puttup!). A much more rewarding experience! By the way, my leaving is intentionally timed to coincide with a bid by one of those contemptible Dinobots (puttup!) to forcibly seize this page. You can find out the nasty surprise awaiting him in next issue's Robo-Capers. Before I go, I've found yet another excuse (as if I needed one!) to neuro-shock my (ex-)human helpers (ha!). What a pleasant note to end on.

Dear Soundwave,
Your Mixed-Up Mechanoids feature in issue 67 was certainly mixed up all right! After finding the answers, it becomes clear that you've messed it up. The ninth answer – Dirge – is in the wrong position, making the tenth answer PERCEPTOI instead of PERCEPTOR. Perhaps a word with your human helpers is called for.
Paul Spink,
Leeds.