Source:Dread Tidings

Dear Grim Grams,
I've just heard the news and its great! For those readers who don't know what I'm talking about, its the joining-up of Visionaries monthly and Transformers. Not only does it save me cash, it also means that from issue 183 I'll be able to read Visionaries weekly. Please congratulate the stubbies on my behalf.
Paul Forman,
Peterborough.

Yeah, kid, it is pretty good, even if I say so myself. With me on the team, there'll be no more mistakes, either. The stubbie that steps outta line goes straight in the ol' Variable Voltage Harness – no messing!

Dear Grimlock,
I am a great fan of your comic and I think that for 35p its brill. But I do have one or two questions:–
1) When will Metroplex be in the comic?
2) Will Rodimus Prime turb back into Hot Rod without the Matrix?
If you do not print this letter, may you rust in the nearest scrapyard!
Jody S. Calvert,
Huddersfield.

Its funny that you should ask these particular questions, Jody, 'cos they'll be answered somewhere in the Space Pirates story we're running at this very moment. Incredible, eh? Oh, yeah – in reply to your comment about scrapyards, I hope your legs drop off!

Dear Grimlock,
Your comic is great, but could you put me straight on a few things:-
1) What does Emirate Xaaron transform into?
2) Where does Death's Head come from?
3) Can Rack 'N' Ruin transform?
Until you swap your neuro-blaster for a screwdriver, make mine Marvel!
Jamie Pritchett,
Iver,
Bucks.

1) A Toaster?
2) Nobody knows where he comes from, but there'll be more news about that despicable bounty hunter in the near future. So stay tuned.
3) Yeah – into a pile of of scrap metal if I ever get my hands on them!

Dear Grimlock,
You do not know how pleased I am that Optimus Prime is returning. Why? Because it gets rid of you! Your intelligence ranks with that of the Incredible Hulk. All we need now is a new Transformer to perform surgery on the letters page, as it seems in need of an emergency operation.
John Kent.
Sunderland.

You sound like a sensible kid, John! I hope you approve of the new answerer – you'd better.

Dear Grimlock,
I think that issue 175 is great, with a great battle on the moon. Its good to see that you and Blaster are friends again.
William Owen Roberts,
Anglesey.

Huh! Only a wishy-washy Autobot would make friends like that. If it was me, I'd have thrashed Blaster there and then.

Dear Grimlock,
In Transformers: The Movie, Thundercracker is seen to be transformed into Scourge, but then – later – he's seen at Starscream's coronation. In fact, he jumped out of the way of Cyclonus. I've got some questions for you: 1) What are Transformers made of? 2) Will Optimus Prime, Rodimus Prime and Ultra Magnus ever fight side by side? 3) Another Stubbie mistake. In the one-page Transformers story from issue 170, Ultra Magnus says 'there are future Autobots and Decepticons from 2008 to worry about'. I thought it was 2006! P.S – please don't tell my Dad I have been using his typewriter or I might need Ratchet to carry out some repairs!
Scott Richardson,
Spittal.

Hmm. I suppose I really shouldn't have printed your P.S. Now your Dad might find out you've been using his typewriter ('snigger'). As for your questions; 1) Metal (what did you think we were made of? Polystyrene?) 2) I've heard rumours that all three appear together in the upcoming epic, Time Wars. Watch for it! 3) Future time has progressed at the same rate as our time, so they are always exactly twenty years ahead of us (give or take a day or two!). As for the innacuracies in the movie, see below...

Dear Grimlock,
I agree with Simon Ferguson's letter in issue 174. I too think that someone else should handle the letters page. Still, to the point. In Transformers: The Movie, Shrapnel is transformed into Cyclonus. Yet later, we see him on Junk, shooting at Daniel. Why? By the way, a few issues ago Combat Colin fought the Gwanzulums, and they said they would return somewhere, sometime. In fact, they returned in issue 9 of The Real Ghostbusters.
Paul Mills,
Ramsgate.

You got your wish, human. A real Transformer is now answering the last of the letters addressed to that rust-bucket, Grimlock. As for the Gwanzulums, you'd do well to check out issues 141 & 142 of Doctor Who Monthly for their next appearance. Right – the movie. Yes, I know they made a couple of mistakes with regard to Cyclonus and Scourge's transformations, but – considering the mess the makers made of the TV cartoon series – I figure these gaffs are forgivable.

Dear Grimlock,
When oh when will the Transformers cartoon be on television? Why does the brilliant Dragon's Claws comic not have a letters page or back-up story? Will Death's Head ever be back in Transformers? Who will Optimus Prime have to fight for the leadership of the Autobots? If you don't print this letter, a certain person will be hired, given 10,000 Shanix, and told to blow you away, Grimlock! Transformers is the best comic this side of Funghurus Six!
Colin Craig,
Belfast.

The four W's of Transformers, eh? Two can play at that game. Why do you want to know? Will you ever stop asking questions? Who are you anyway? When's this day going to be over? Seriously though, the cartoon series should be returning in the near future (exactly when I don't know), Dragon's Claws has now got a letters page (write to Dragon's Nest at the above address) and has always had a back-up strip (The Reverend P. Gunn), and I couldn't care less who Prime fights, just so long as they both get wasted. It occurs to me that I shouldn't have printed this letter. Then Grimlock would have got bounty-hunted! Ah well...

Dear Grimlock,
After reading your reply to John Williams' letter in issue 177, I realised you didn't particularly care for the idea of Transformers appearing on Coronation Street. But don't worry. Now your comic has been featured in the cinema ... yes, on the Big Screen! The film in question is Vice Versa. One of the main stars was actually reading it in the course of the film. Unfortunately, the character seen on the cover was that dirtwad Decepticon, Shockwave (who is no doubt very happy about his sudden fame).
Robert Leather,
Lincoln.

I sent Hi-Test to check it out, and it seems you are half right. Actor, Judge Reinhold, is indeed seen reading a Transformers comic. Sadly, it is an American Transformers comic. Ah well, can't win 'em all I suppose. Now, what's all this 'dirtwad' Decepticon stuff, eh?

Dear Grimlock,
When, oh when, is Ravage going to return? The last we saw of him, he was falling down a mine shaft in issue 73. Now, 100 issues later, there's still no sign of him. Please bring him back, as he is one of my favourite characters. I am glad Optimus Prime is back and can't wait to see him smash all the Decepticons singlehandedly. This comic just gets better and better!
Andrew Grant,
Croydon.

Ravage makes a brief appearance in the future story, Space Pirates (issue 185), and then returns in our next future/present day story – Time Wars. Watch for it! Now let's get this straight ... Optimus Prime's gonna' smash all us Decepticons singlehanded, eh? All I can say is, I'd like to see him try!

Dear Grimlock,
After reading Visionaries 5, I noticed that it will be joining Transformers in issue 183, timed to coincide with the new look. Does this mean that Action Force is gone for good, or do you intend to bring it back? By the way, when will we see another free gift?
Ian Jackson,
Harwell.

C'mon, kids – get those letters pouring in addressed to me, Dreadwind. I'm sick of answering Grimlock's mail. Right, on with the answer. Action Force will return to these pages shortly, so have patience. As for' Free Gifts, your FREE Action Force sticker album and stickers should keep you humans satisfied for at least ... ooh, two days!

Dear Grimlock,
To put it bluntly, the Marvel UK Transformers comic is 100% better than the American version we get over here. Your comics have beautiful covers, high quality artwork and very intelligent plots. Here in the States, Transformers comics are monthly instead of weekly and have bad artwork and stupid plots. Thank you for showing us the Autobots and Decepticons of the 21st century. You guys in Britain are, as always, one step ahead of us when it comes to time travel (from Wells' Time Machine to Doctor Who – you always come through)!
Bob Newbell,
Warren, MI.

Some days it's hard to be humble. Still, human, I think you are being overhard on our American counterparts. After all, we do see fit to showcase their stories in our Transformers comic.

Dear Grimlock,
Having just finished reading Collected Comics 10 (Second Generation), I see that on page 20, pic 5, Menasor's lines have been put right. Instead of saying 'Take him out, Dead End' (it is, in fact, Drag Strip) as it was in Transformers 64, Menasor is now saying 'Take him out, Drag Strip'. Has the script writer, namely Simon Furman, been swotting up on his Transformers A-Z? I've a couple of questions for you:
1) Are there any plans to show the new Headmasters – Fangry, Horri-Bull, Hosehead, Siren and Nightbeat – in upcoming issues?
2) In issue 161, who was the Decepticon, Straxus, that appeared while Megatron was hooked up to the psycho probe?
P. Sunderland,
Carlisle.

Stubbie Furman humbly (an effort for him, believe me!) acknowledges his original mistake in issue 64, and now – as shown in the Special – knows his Drag Strips from his Dead Ends. We'll get around to showing most of the new characters soon enough – have patience. Straxus was the Decepticon commander on Cybertron until Blaster destroyed his body and Megatron absorbed his mind. Things didn't go very well for Straxus, did they?

Dear Grimlock,
Dragon's Claws is a brilliant comic, but waiting a whole month between issues is very depressing. Please can you persuade Marvel to reduce the wait to a fortnight between issues. I would be very grateful if you could do this.
Duncan Rhodes,
Beckenham.

I mentioned to Stubbie Senior (who draws Dragon's Claws) that the comic was going fortnightly, and that we'd need 44 pages a month from him instead of the usual 22. Listening to his broken sobs and pleas for mercy, I quite forgot to tell him I was just kidding!

Dear Grimlock,
You've been on the letters page for 100 issues now (but we got rid of him at last – Dreadwind), and I think this calls for a celebration. I'm really looking forward to your 200th issue. I've just watched the video of The Return Of Optimus Prime, which is set between the Movie and the Headmasters. Optimus Prime is found on a spacecraft by two astronauts and brought to Earth, where he is restored to life. He battles Rodimus Prime for the Matrix and then releases its power – wiping out the plague that is affecting both human and Transformer.
Alun Griffiths,
Brigend.

Well, thanks, human. That's totally ruined it for everyone else!

Dear Grimlock,
I have just come back from a four week holiday on Cybertron (okay, Canada). As soon as I came back I caught up on what had been happening in Transformers. When I read about Dragon's Claws, I ran (didn't walk) to my newsagents. Unfortunately, they only had issue 2. Is there anywhere I can get an issue 1? By the way, I have every single issue of Transformers, with 95% of them in perfect condition. How much is my collection worth?
Khalid Howlador,
Redbridge.

A mint, human – a mint! A complete collection of Britain's greatest action/adventure comic is quite simply priceless! If you're looking for a copy of Dragon's Claws 1, your best bet is to try some of the shops listed on our classified ads page. The last one was in issue 186, the next one will be in issue 191.

Dear Grimlock,
In issue 176, Dreadwind and Darkwing are the opposite way around to their toy versions (according to the Powermaster ad). Which is the correct way round?
Stuart Cashmore,
Leicester.

Take it from me, kid – the comic got it right (if not I'm in for a severe identity crisis!). I'm Dreadwind, and the other bloke is Darkwing!

Dear Grimlock,
Your comic is brill. I've been ordering it from my local newsagent since issue 80. I have some questions to ask you. 1) Is Scourge a plane or a hovercraft? 2) According to their tech specs (on their toy packs), Hot Rod is stronger than Ultra Magnus. Is this true? 3) Do Transformers go to sleep?
Paul Guymer,
Bath.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Dear Grimlock,
When I read in issue 178 that Transformers is being re-designed, I thought it would be a good idea if the readers had a say in what the comic looks like. Therefore, I am offering to run the TRANSFORMERS DESIGN POLL. Here are the categories: Letter answerer (who do you want in charge of the letters page?), Cover Box (who would you like to see in the box on the front cover?), Cartoon strip (which would you want – Combat Colin, Robo-Capers, Matt and the Cat?), and Expansion (what would you like to see more of in the comic?). All readers who want to contribute should send their letters to me at the address below.
Mark Clapham,
5 Station Road,
Pannal,
Harrogate,
HG3 1JJ.

Dear Grimlock,
I have a new poll. It's the 'funniest Grim Grams letter of 1987' Readers' Poll. You vote for the funniest letter (and/or reply) printed in Grim Grams between issues 84 and 145. Send a neatly re-written form of the letter or a photocopy with your vote. Lastly, put down the name of the writer of the letter you're voting for. Send your entries to me. Closing date for the votes is November 30th.
Patsy Zuckav,
13719 Drake Drive,
Rockville,
MD 20853, U.S.A.

No doubt about it. These two win my own 'Poll for the sake of a Poll' Poll. Sigh... how about just sticking to just one poll per year, huh?

Dear Grimlock,
In issue 181, on page 17, we see Flint at Fort Wadsworth and then – on page 18 – he is in Sierra Gordo, being captured by Xamot and Tomax. My bet is that the Flint in Sierra Gordo is an imposter. By the way, I think the comic is brill and hope that Optimus Prime takes over the letters page.
Jason Carter,
Luton.

You can find out exactly which Flint is the imposter, as our Action Force story resumes. As for Optimus Prime on the letters page, some people disagree (not least me!)...

Aww heck! Dreadwind here. I've just been informed of an Earthen postal strike (hopefully long over by the time you read this). That means I'll have to keep answering letters addressed to that oaf, Grimlock, for at least another week! As soon as I get some addressed to me, I'll print 'em.

Dear Grimlock,
For over a year, Metroplex has been available in the shops, yet he has never appeared in the comic (he's never even been mentioned in the comic!). You can't blame this one on the Stubbies. This is your fault and you're going to have to fix it! I have met the Stubbies as Nostalgia and Comics in Birmingham and they're not as bad as you make them out to be!
Robey Jenkins,
Llandevaud.

Yes they are! You don't have to work with them! At least in this I agree with Grimlock. As for Metroplex, it's already been fixed. By the way, you are in error. Metroplex was mentioned in last year's Transformers Annual in the story, Ark Duty.

Dear Grimlock,
I have two questions for you. Firstly, are we going to see Starscream again? I last remember him in issue 145's Stargazing story (the Christmas issue). He was the Decepticon who wanted to get back to Cybertron the most. I always wondered whether he made it. Secondly, we know that a final battle between Galvatron and Ultra Magnus is in the works, and that Megatron reappeared in the Salvage story (issues 160 & 161). We further know that Optimus Prime is back. Does this mean we can look forward to Ultra Magnus versus Galvatron and Optimus Prime versus Megatron?
Jack Chivers,
Ifield.

Starscream returns in issue 194, back with the Decepticon army. Trouble is, he's still stranded on Earth. All together now... AWWW! As for your other question... our lips are sealed. The upcoming epic, Time Wars, holds the shocking answer!

Dear Grimlock,
Wow! What more can I say? I nearly went into orbit when I saw the new Dragon's Claws comic. Geoff Senior's Transformers artwork is really out of this world. If there's still anyone out there foolish enough not to be willing to shell out 55p a month for it, take a glance at someone else's copy. I guarantee you'll be hooked. Buy it and spread the good word! Earth, 1988 – not a very interesting place to live... until Dragon's Claws came along!
Graham Harrodine,
Croydon.

Couldn't have put it better myself, hume. If you haven't seen a copy of Dragon's Claws yet... why are you still sitting here reading this? Get down to your newsagent now! You'll hate yourself if you miss out!

Dear Grimlock,
In issue 175, in the Action Force story, Pit-Fall, it says that B.A.T stands for Battle Android Tactical. But in Action Force Monthly it says it stands for Battle Android Trooper. Which is right?
William Sparks,
Winchcombe.

Sadly, they got it right and we got it wrong, Phooey!

At last – letters addressed to me! Now we can get down to some real letter answering! Read on and enjoy, humes...

Dear Dreadwind,
I think that Transformers is brill, and that a week is too long to wait for the next issue. I have twenty five Transformers toys and I hope to have more soon. Can you answer me a couple of questions: 1) Does Metroplex have a brain? I ask this because in issue 183, Blaster had to turn a switch to make him transform into battle station mode. 2) When I was on holiday in Stratford Upon Avon I bought two Targemtasters called Quickmix and Spinister (each with two Nebulan companions). Are these real Transformers? Oh yeah, one question foryou, Dreadwind. When I sent this letter you hadn't arrived on Earth, so how could you do the letters page?
Stuart Craig,
Fife.

Listen, hume – your postal service might not be up to much (let's fact it, just recently it hasn't been up to very much at all!), but the trans-space service is spot on. I merely answered letters en route to Earth! As for your other questions – yes, Metroplex does have a brain (though I could produce several witnesses to contradict that), he was just asleep and needed waking up. Quickmix and Spinister are indeed real Transformers. You'll get to meet all the new Double Targetmasters in due course.

Dear Dreadwind,
It's great to see a Decepticon taking over the letters page, rather than that Autobot good-for-nothing! I shall have issue 184 framed. In issue 179, the ex-letter answerer, Grimlock, asked us readers what we thought about the idea of 1989 calendars for the comic. On behalf of a lot of people I've spoken to, I'd like to give it a big thumbs up!
Duncan Beattie,
Kilmarnock.

'Autobot good-for-nothing', eh? Hmm ... could do better I think. As for 1989 calendars, look out for the January Transformers Classic Cover Calendar in our issue 200! There'll be one a month from then on! We listen to you humes, you know (though Matrix only know why sometimes!).

Dear Dreadwind,
Thank you for getting rid of that stupid heap of trash. Yes, you guessed it, I'm referring to Grimlock. Now at last we'll get some decent answers to questions. I have a couple of questions for you. 1) What became of you, Darkwing and your Nebulan companions after you left Nebulos. 2) When will we see Blaster's cassettes in the comic? By the way, Space Pirates is the best story yet.
Simon Holloway,
Leeds.

'Stupid heap of trash' – love it! Keep those anti-Grimlock letters coming, humes. As for answering questions properly... well, don't get your hopes up too high! I'll show you what I mean – 1) We landed here. 2) You know. Brief and to the point, that's me.

Dear Dreadwind,
I'm going to kick the wall in anger if the Stubbies don't put Ultra Magnus back in the comic regularly and slow down Rodimus Prime a bit.
Peter Collins,
Burgess Hill.

Phew – you really know how to make a threat, don't you, hume? Okay, calm down now... Magnus will return in the upcoming Time Wars epic, as will Rodimus Prime. But when you've read the story, I reckon your wall's going to take a hammering!

Dear Dreadwind,
Nice to have someone different answering the letters page. I was getting bored with old 'bucket brain'. I would like to congratulate you on Space Pirates. It was supercalifragil ... etc. Another collectors' item if ever I saw one. Now on to some questions: 1) Why did Bumblebee change form? 2) Is Transformers going to end because of a hole in the fabric of time and space? 3) Why are you so hip and trendy? Finally smash up Grimlock, will you? I am 18 years old and I collect Transformers, Action Force, Dragon's Claws, and – when it comes out – Death's Head. My Mum says I'm too old. Is this true?
Alan Bayles,
Durham.

It most certainly is not, hume. Look at me, I'm four million, sixty thousand, three hundred and forty two years old, and I still read comics. Marvel comics are there to be enjoyed by all ages! Right, answer time. 1) Because his original form got blown apart by Death's Head in issue 114. 2) Maybe. You'll have to check out the apocalyptic Time Wars epic. It all begins in issue 199. 3) Comes naturally. Gimme five, m'man!

Dear Dreadwind,
After reading issue 188 and seeing Inferno in it, I was amazed. I thought Inferno was dead. Last time we saw him was back in part four of Legacy of Unicron (issue 149), smashing into Cybertron in an Autobot shuttle. Is this a Stubbie mistake?
Matthew Jackson,
Cargrave.

Oh, no. The Legacy of Unicron story was set in 2008, when Inferno is indeed set to meet his demise. Firebug was set on present day Earth, when – sadly – Inferno is still alive and kicking.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have to say that I agree with Bob Newbell's letter in Transformers 188, about the American Transformers stories. Why run them? There's no comparison between something of theirs like The Big Broadcast of 2006 (prologue and epilogue excepted) or Cosmic Carnival and one of your six-parters like Space Pirates, or even a short six page story like Peace, from this year's Annual. Over the last few years, Marvel UK have got better and better, with Dragon's Claws, and Death's Head comics, they've created almost a mini-Marvel Universe of their own. Recently the American stories have been going from just action and nothing else to babyish.
Andrew Dornan,
Fareham.

You humes keep trying to separate British and American stories, as if they're two different stories altogether. Not so. Both combine to form the whole vast saga of Transformers. Though the Stubbies on this comic pride themselves with producing the very best Transformers stories possible, it's unfair just to dismiss the work of their U.S. counterparts.

Dear Dreadwind,
Firstly, it seems that Space Pirates is really developing into a great story. Now the bad news. Visionaries is like something off the back of a cereal packet! The plot has as much meat as a brand of chicken nuggets I could mention, the script is like a bad episode of an afternoon 'soap', and the art is totally uninteresting. The sooner you bring back Action Force the better!
Mark Clapham,
Harrogate.

Why do I get the impression you didn't enjoy Visionaries?

Dear Dreadwind,
Bravo! Hurray! At last! Am I talking about the final riveting part of Space Pirates? No. Wreck-Gar has at last put out that smoking bit of his bootlace moustache! It's been through water (or whatever that was on Quintesson), a running battle in space, a leap from a burning shuttle and quite a bit more. That said, Space Pirates was brilliant. Dan Reed, Dougie Braithwaite and Lee Sullivan are top class artists. One mistake though, the lettering in part 2 wasn't done by Glib, it was done by Annie Halfacree.
D. Chesh,
Sth Woodham Ferrers.

Oops – red faces abound among the Stubbies. You are indeed right, hume, issue 183's fine penwork was indeed that of Annie Halfacree. Stubbies getting other Stubbies mixed up – truly, their ineptitude never ceases to amaze me!

Dear Dreadwind,
In The Sun newspaper (October 18th), there is a notice about Mexican Transformers, which says they are faulty and unsafe. I have bought the Mexican Constructicon set from Blackpool and I was wondering what I can do about them. I would like to keep the set as I think they are the best Transformers. Quite a few shops seem to be stocking the Mexican Transformers. I would be grateful for your advice.
Gavin Smith,
Mansfield.

Having seen neither the article or the toys, I can't really say, hume. If anyone could send me a Mexican pack box and/or a copy of article you mention, I would be most grateful. In the meantime, the best advice I can offer is that you proceed with caution. Tell your parents about the toys, and see what they think. If the toy doesn't do what it's supposed to do, return it to the shop and ask for a refund, rather than risk a replacement. Take care, humes. Only we real Decepticons have the right to injure humans!

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 173, Leon Altham wrote in asking if the outer shell of a Pretender could operate independently of its Transformer. Grimlock replied no. If this is correct, how did Skullgrin fight himself in issue 191?
Neil Bland,
Rochdale.

Because his outer shell was being operated by Circuit Breaker. Ah ha – thought you'd caught me out, didn't you?

Dear Dreadwind,
I buy all the Marvel comics, but Transformers is far and away the best. Dry Run is the most enjoyable story so far, and I can't wait to see the Megatron/Galvatron confrontation in this year's Annual. By the way, will there be a Dragon's Claws Annual?
Richard Evans,
Woking.

There are no plans for a Dragon's Claws Annual (or so the Stubbies tell me) this year. If there's one for next year, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, the ever fabby-dabby Transformers Annual will have to suffice.

Dear Dreadwind,
After reading the story Dry Run – which I enjoyed very much – I noticed that Shockwave says 'to preserve my life... I must end yours', after which he shoots at Cyclonus and Scourge. And when Megatron kills Cyclonus, it says 'the heavens scream in Cyclonus's stead'. Does this mean that Cyclonus's death has altered the future? Could it mean that Shockwave now exists in the future again? It shouldn't alter the fate if Optimus Prime, as he is destroyed by Megatron.
Stewart Smith,
Newport.

As you will see in Time Wars, Cyclonus's death – twenty years before he is created – has pretty major repercussions in the future (and in our time). But Shockwave is still dead in 2008, as Cyclonus will still be created by Unicron in 2006, regardless of his current condition. Confused? Me too.

Dear Dreadwind,
You'd better print this letter, or I'll get old Oppy to come around and sort you out. I've got some questions for you. 1) I saw some new Transformers in a toy shop called the Microbots. On the back of the pack it said they were engineered by the Pretenders. There were two Autobot teams (off-roaders and rally cars) and one Decepticon team (jets). Where do they come from and will they be appearing in the comic soon? 2) When will The Real Ghostbusters become the back-up strip in Transformers? 3) When will Galvatron and the new Optimus Prime finally meet?
Ashley Marks,
Nothwood.

You humes are going to have to come up with some better threats. Optimus Prime is not frightening! But seeing as I'm so big-hearted, I'll answer your questions. 1) Don't know too much about the Microbots yet – I've not met them – so I can't really answer your questions. I do know, however, they will be featured prominently in the comic next year. 2) If I didn't know better, I'd suspect you were being sarcastic. 3) In issues 204 and 205 – the epic conclusion to Time Wars!

Dear Dreadwind,
First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on taking over from Grimmy. As we humans say, he was good... but not that good! For a start he didn't print any of the fifteen letters I wrote to him (yes, fifteen!). I'm sure you will print one of my letters though (hint, hint!). I had a battle with my other two friends and my Grimlock and some Autobots got trashed by you, Darkwing and some other Decepticons.
James Woodward,
Hertford.

Foregone conclusion really, hume.

DREADWIND SPEAKS ...

Okay, humes, listen up! It must be hard for you poor carbon-based fleshlings to keep up with us higher life forms, so I've decided, against my better judgement, to tell you about a new publication. It's called the TRANSFORMERS UNIVERSE and its packed with all the inside info on over 100 Transformers. Psychological profiles, abilities, weaknesses – all for a new low price of £1.99! Fill in the coupon below and send it off – do it NOW!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been a fan of Transformers ever since I was five years old (I'm nine now). I have 30 Transformers including you and Darkwing. Could you answer me a few personal questions? 1) Is your Nebulan companion, Hi-Test, good company? 2) Do you mind combining with Darkwing to form Dreadwing? 3) Who out of the Autobot Powermasters do you and Darkwing fear most? By the way, I'm glad to see a Decepticon back on the letters page.
Ben Morely,
Manchester.

So am I, hume, so am I! Personal questions, eh? .. I suppose so, pretty straightforward answers anyway. 1) No. I'd rather talk to an Autobot! 2) Yes. I should say I do! 3) None of them. They're all wimps.

Dear Dreadwind,
It's great to see a Decepticon on the letters page again, especially as Grimlock has the page for over one hundred issues, and Soundwave only had if for 50 or so. In issue 189, Megatron kills Cyclonus by ripping off his head. But in issue 133 Fortress Maximus removed his head as a gesture of friendship to the Nebulans. How come he didn't die? Please, please, bring back Robo-capers!
David Matthews,
Greystones.

It's all a matter of how you remove your head. You see, even I – unh, there it goes – can take my head off. It's all a matter of how you do it. There's a whole set of mental commands that disconnect nerve endings and the like. If you just rip it off, fuel lines, neural connections and other vital bits are severed, as in the case of Cyclonus. Nine times out of ten it's fatal. As you will have seen, Robo-capers returned for our fantastic 200th issue!

Dear Dreadwind,
At last – you've taken over from that tin-plated wombat! Anyway, I've got some questions for you about Microbots. I've just bought the Autobot's Race Car Patrol. Can you tell me when they'll be in the comic? Oh yeah, the Race Car Patrol's motto is 'In confusion there is opportunity'. But isn't that Astrotrain's motto?
Richard Bennet,
Leeds.

Clearly it was Astrotrain's motto, but it looks as if the Autobots nicked it. I suspect Astrotrain will step on them. The Microbots – if they're in any fit state after Astrotrain's dealt with them – will be appearing in the comic later this year.

Dear Dreadwind,
Will you be having a competition to win toys of Fortress Maximus? I have a few questions for you. 1) Will Rodimus Prime and Galvatron meet up again? 2) In issue 189 we see Cyclonus being destroyed by Megatron. Will he be repaired? I hope so, because my little brother has the toy of him and isn't very happy that he got destroyed in the comic! If you don't print this letter I shall be forced to re-build Unicron even bigger and stronger than before and set him on you.
Russell Fleming,
Rochester.

Hmm. Full marks on the threat, but I'm tempted to call your bluff and see if you could actually do it. In the meantime, I'll answer your questions. 1) Yes – in issue 204. 2) Though Cyclonus is well and truly dead (he has ceased to be, he is an ex-Transformer, he's pushing up the micro-chips, etc), if history repeats itself, Cyclonus will be created again in 2006 by Unicron. After that, well, who knows what might happen!

Dear Dreadwind,
I hate that prehistoric pile of scrap, Grimlock, but at least he's better than you. I'll get on with the questions, shall I? 1) Will Scorponok be featured in the comic? 2) In Collected Comics 11 (in Stargazing we see one of the Protectobots fighting Starscream. But in Collected Comics 10 we see Ratchet just about to start building the Special Teams, and he says it's only ten days until Christmas. Are the Stubbies saying he built the Protectobots in ten days?
James Dane,
Ilford.

No. The Stargazing story was set some while after the events in Collected Comics10. And where does Ratchet say anything about Christmas in Collected Comics 10, eh?

Dear Dreadwind,
I have an idea that could make one heck of a story. How about Secret Wars III, in which the Beyonder not only transports some of Marvel's superheroes and villains away, but also a mixture of Autobots and Decepticons. Then he gets a selection of Thundercats, Ghostbusters and Dragon's Claws and transports them too. I know we're dealing with several different time zones here, but that wouldn't stop the Beyonder.
Alan Bayles,
Durham.

The mention of the possibility of Secret Wars III brought an interesting reaction from Stubbies Rimmer, Furman and Starkings. Believe me, it took us a long time to coax them back in off the window ledge.

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 194 I spotted a mistake. On page 11, Blaster talks to Jesse, but the speech bubble comes from Jesse's mouth. Was she talking to herself, or was this a typical Stubbie mistake?
Colin Nair,
Portknockie,

The mistake, is yours. Blaster was speaking to Jesse through the headphones she was wearing, hence the balloon appeared to be coming from the region of her head. Heh – I love it when I do that!

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 193 of Transformers and Action Force we see the Baroness say to Leatherneck (who's disguised as a Cobra trooper) – 'what are you doing with an M203, trooper? That's not a standard Cobra weapon.' But then, in issue 194, on page 20, a Cobra trooper says (as he is about to try and kill Snake Eyes) – 'There he is; grenade launchers and mortars!' The AK47 assault rifles they use have M203 grenade launchers on! Please explain.
Craig Collins,
Warwick.

Maybe they don't use M203 rifles, but do use M203 grenade launchers. Maybe the Baroness doesn't know her weapons very well. Maybe you don't know your weapons very well, Maybe I wish I hadn't printed this letter. Take your pick!

Dear Dreadwind,
Well, here we are again, with another 100 issues gone. I have to admit I didn't manage to catch all of them, but I only missed two. Anyway, a few questions: 1) Where does Rodimus Prime's trailer go when he transforms? 2) Why don't you bring back Matt and the Cat? 3) Why is Scorponok such a wimp? If you don't answer my letter, my sister's pet mouse, Sean, will come round and beat you up!
Dunc and Mouse,
Essex.

Missed two issues, eh? Not good enough! To your questions: 1) Rodimus Prime's trailer transforms into a mobile defence bay. 2) When I asked the stubbies, they actually broke down and cried. I wonder why? 3) I wouldn't let Scorponok hear you calling him a wimp, Dunc. Those claws of his make very good garbage mashers! He can't hold a pen very well, though. Oh, yeah, by the way – what's a mouse?

Dear Dreadwind,
I decided to write to you about your 200th issue – it was great! The cover was fantastic! The logo was MARVEL-lous! The free gift was super! Keep up this standard and I'm sure you'll have another 200 issues! As you're such a great fellow, I'm sure you will print this letter – I have sent in loads to the trash can, Grimlock, and had no luck. Just one question: will Emirate Xaaron be back in the comic? We haven't seen him for a while.
Tim Berry,
Basildon.

Thanks for all the kind words, kid, and you're right – I am a great fellow. I'm not surprised you had no luck with the trash can – he probably swallowed your letters! I dare say we'll see Degenerate Xaaron again in the future, and I'll be sure to give him your regards – personally! Heh, heh!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have just read part 1 of Time Wars and it was absolutely brilliant. Form now on I'm going to have Transformers on order instead of just picking it up off the shelf. I have one question, though: On page 4, near the bottom, is a copy of Dragon's Claws. What was it doing there? Is this an attempt to see how good our visual sensors are, or is it that in the year 2008 the early issues are reprinted, and everybody is, in fact, running after the last available issue?
David Lynch,
Country Cork,
Eire.

Glad you like the comic enough to put in a regular order, kid. Good on yer! I agree with your idea of the crowds rushing for the last issue of Dragon's Claws. Nothing at all to do with the two 50ft high metal monstrosities snarling and drooling away in the background!

Dear Dreadwind,
How nice to have a competent Transformer on the letters page instead of that peanut-brain Grimlock. It's a wonder he wasn't dropped off on the planet Junk by mistake. To business – a few questions for you: 1) How do Transformers take in energon? 2) Who or what is Ratbat? 3) Why can't you Decepticons win sometimes? I think you need a new leader – yourself or Darkwing, perhaps?
A female fan,
Bristol.

At last! A letter from a female of your species. I was beginning to think there was only one type of hume. Good questions, too! 1) Lotsa ways! Some, like Ratbat, actually drink the fuel from the bodies of Autobots. Filthy habit. I suppose it comes down to personal preference. I like a slightly chilled Castrol '79 – with an olive! 2) As mentioned, Ratbat is a pretty unsavoury character. He's the Decepticon fuel auditor. He has a bat mode and a cassette mode, in which he fits into the chest compartment of Soundwave, the Decepticon communications expert. 3) One day, humess, one day! If offered the job of Decepticon leader, I would accept it with quiet dignity and grace – and if Darkwing got in the way, I'd rip his circuits out!

Dear Soundwaves,
I am writing to complain about the length of time it takes you to print the letters sent in (don't worry – only a joke!).

Dear Dreadwind,
A few questions: 1) Can the toy version of you combine with the toy of Darkwing? 2) Where is Galvatron? 3) Where are the Battle Chargers, Runabout and Runamuck?
Duncan Armstrong,
Farringdon.

Very funny, hume, I nearly laughed my circuits off. 'Soundwaves' indeed! If I can stop laughing long enough, I'll answer your questions: 1) Unfortunately, yes. We form Dreadwing. The trouble is, we don't get on too well. 2) If you've read issue 205, you'll already know the answer to that one! 3) Oh, I dare say they're runnin' around somewhere! Laugh, kid, that was a joke!

Dear Dreadwind,
It's great to see another Decepticon on the letters page – you're even better than Soundwave was! Here are a couple of questions: 1) Why is Ratbat higher up in the chain of command than Soundwave, when Ratbat is one of Soundwave's tapes? 2) Has Cyclonus been killed off for good?
Denzil Rosser,
Cornwall.

P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get Prime to pull your sensors out one by one!

Huh! One minute it's praise, the next minute it's threats! I'll never understand you fleshlings as long as I function. But I'll answer your questions – this time! 1) Size doesn't count for everything, you know! Ratbat may be small, but he's clever, devious, cunning – and those are only his good points! 2) Who knows?!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have some comments for you. Firstly, the main reason for the Mexican Transformers being faulty is because they contain a high percentage of lead in the paint used on them. If young children were to put them in their mouths, they could poison themselves. On a brighter note, I just have to say how much I enjoy Transformers– and Death's Head too! Will he appear in Transformers again, and will Stubbie Senior ever get time to draw for you again? Lately, the stories by Stubbies Furman and Budiansky have been great, and I'm sure that Time Wars will turn out to be the best story since Target: 2006.
Ralph Moore,
Burgess Hill.

Thanks for the info on the Mexicans, kid. We've got to get them toys off the streets! I don't know if Death's Head will be back in Transformers – I mean, he's got his own comic now. Lucky guy! I dare say Stubbie Senior will draw for us again – if I ask him nicely (heh, heh!).

Dear Dreadwind,
I am pleased to see that you have taken over the letters page from that prehistoric micro-brain, Grimlock. Anyway, I have some questions to ask you: 1) In issue 202, Topspin is deactiviated by a blast from Megatron's fussion cannon, yet he appears in this year's annual, in the story Peace. How? 2) Also, on page 5, box 3, who is it behind Flywheels? It looks like Shrapnel – is it? 3) What does Carnivac transform into? I am a Decepticon fan but, if you don't print this letter, I'll join the Autobots!
Simon Marham,
Welwyn,
Herts.

You came up with some corking questions there, hume – but I can take it. Here goes: 1) You only spotted Topspin? If you look closely, you'll see that all the wreckers appear in the story. Now – the easy answer would be that they were all rebuilt after Time Wars. However, seeing as how the Peace story happens in 2510, about 500 years after their time of 2006, it could be that the timeline was upset by Galvatron's dabblings. Therefore, they may well have survived – in another timeline. Sounds simple, really. I think. 2) It is, in fact, Chop Shop – thought you could catch me out, eh hume? 3) Carnivac transforms into, strangely enough, a robot and a wolf. You must've read this week's story by now, so you should know the answer to that one!

Dear Dreadwind,
Firstly, let me say that I'm very glad that you've taken over the letters page. That metal-clad museum piece was getting on my nerves. Secondly, I'd like to ask you some questions: 1) Who do you despise most – Hi-Test or Darkwing? 2) When will Omega Supreme appear again? 3) How come the larger Transformers appear at different heights?
Leo Comerford,
County Kildare.

Sounds like you humes prefer me to Grimlock – understandable, really. To your questions: 1) I'm very fair about it – I hate both of 'em! 2) He'll be in there somewhere – curse him! 3) How come you humes do? Same thing, innit?!

Dear Dreadwind,
I think your comic is great. I would like to thank you for not killing off Optimus Prime in issue 205. I have a few questions for you: 1) Is Optimus Prime here for good? 2) Will we see any more of Scourge and Cyclonus? I'd also like to thank you for the lovely Calendar.
Craig Ash,
Tamworth.

Well, thanks to you too, hume. Although, if it'd been up to me, I would've bumped off Optimus Prime! It looks like he is here to stay, though. Pity. It would be a bit difficult to see any more of Cyclonus – he got pretty wekk knacked! I think Scourge will be back, however. You just can't keep a good 'con down!

Dear Dreadwind,
I am a great fan of Transformers, and you are the best Powermaster and letter page answerer yet! I have a couple of questions to ask you, so please answer them: 1) In issue 201, we see Rodimus Prime and Fortress Maximus in reversed colours. Is this a colour fault? 2) Is Galvatron caught up in a time circle? I mean, he gets killed in Time Wars, gets recreated by Unicron, goes back in time and gets killed again.
Robert Phillips,
Pentyrch,
Cardiff.

Thanks for the nice words, hume – you can stay! To your questions: 1) You bet your life it was a mistake! Those responsible have been dealt with – severely! 2) Yes – he's stuck like that for ever!

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 204, Flint says to the two Englishmen "We're both not chappies". This can't be true,because on Flint's file it says that he was born in Lincoln, England. Is this another Stubbie mistake? Anyway, you'd better print this letter or I'll send Optimus Prime round to make you change your mind. Oh – by the way. Keep up the good work!
Robert Tunley,
Burton-on-Trent.

Optimus Prime, eh? That's not much of a threat! I'll take him on any day! Anyway, back to business. I don't blame Flint for saying what he did. I mean, would you like being called a 'chappie'?

Dear Dreadwind,
If you don't print this letter, I'll put treacle up your afterburners! Before I comment on the Time Wars story, did you realise that the end of this epic marked the anniversary of Transformers and Action Force being together? Time Wars was brill, really shocking stuff, but I do feel that the might of Galvatron and his sidekick Megatron was a tad exaggerated. Megatron could have been dealt with by the Dinobots, but for varieties sake let's say Grimlock and Rodimus Prime. If you remember, in issue 161, after Ultra magnus overcomes his fear and gives Galvatron a good thrashing, he said "Believe me ... when we next meet, it'll be for the last time!". True enough, but I though he would have had the pleasure of doing in Galvatron. Yes, I know that Optimus Prime has to save the day, but that's why I also thought that Magnus and Prime could do it together. There – problem solved! No need for a Time Wars saga! Incidentally, why weren't you there, you weed!
Jonathan Martin,
Staplehurst,
Kent.

WEED! I'll stick treacle (whatever that is) up YOUR afterburners! Still – you did come up with some good points, I suppose. From the sound of things, Galvatron was fair game for everybody! If we didn't have the Time Wars epic, what would the poor stubbies do? They'd have nothing to much up! HAH! The reason I wasn't there was because I was having an oil change – so there!

Dear Dreadwind,
I'd like to say how brilliant Transformers is. I do have one complaint, though. When you print the winners of a competition, you never print the answer. I'd like you to demote the Dumb Stubbies to just Stubbies! Still – they can't be that bad if they turn out a comic like Transformers.
Phillip Calderwood,
Dunfermline.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll give a certain someone 10,000 shanix and tell him to blow your cerebral casing off!

That's nice, innit?! I know what you mean about the competition answers, though. Never fear – the ex-Dumb-now-just-Stubbies have got the message!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have three questions for you: 1) Ironhide is dead, but you have him in issue 200 – why? 2) I never see you in the comic. 3) How many Transformers are there? I love your comic!
Anon,
County Dublin.

Ta, hume! To the questions: 1) Who said he's dead? He wasn't in issue 200, was he? 2) You've just had a double helping of me, hume, but then I'm worth it. 3) I think there're over 250, but I know some of you out there have counted more.

Dear Dreadwind,
How brilliant it is to have a perfectly made Transformer on the letters page instead of that fanged, brainless twit we've had for a 100 issues! The comic itself is just as good, but I do want to point out a mistake. At the top of page 7, issue 206, we see the Pretenders Iguanus, Bomb Burst, Sub Marauder and Bugly with Scorponok. Nothing wrong there, it's just that in issue 207, page 5, we see them coming out of the spaceship, when they should be helping Scorponok. I'd also like to ask when Double Dealer will be seen in the comic (and not Double Cross, as someone once called him)? May you continue to operate to the end of time and beyond!
Mark Molloy,
Birmingham.

Thanks, hume, and the same to you! To answer your point about the Pretenders, they were only pretending – Haw, haw! I don't know when 'ol Double Cross/ Dealer will be appearing – but keep watching!

Dear Dear Dreadwind,
I want to know why the Insecticons never appear in the comic – is it because they are always hungry, or because they are nocturnal?
Iain Plant,
County Durham.

Dunno – but the last I saw of 'em, Soundwave was chasing them with a can of Flyspray!

O Mighty Purple One,
I would like you to answer a few questions – or else! 1) Who built the first Transformer? 2) I have only read issues 109, 116, 139 and 208, so I don't know what happened to Megatron – what did happen? 3) Why are all Transformer eye circuits different colours? 4) What happened to Galvatron and Ultra Magnus?
Conor Farrington,
Aberdeenshire.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll contact the Autobots!

Go ahead, hume – make my day! Seriously, though: 1) You should know the answer to that one by now, if you're read issues 213 & 214. 2) You must've missed issue 150, which ran the origin of the Transformers, hume. The first Transformer wasn't built – he appeared out of the chaos of the formation of the Universe, and his name was Unicron. 3) Why are all human's eyes different colours? Same thing. 4) Galvatron got knacked, Ultra Magnus was badly damaged.

Dear Dreadwind,
It's great to see a Decepticon on the letters page. I'm a bit confused, though, about the answer given to Joseph Sullivan's question "Is Ratbat a triple changer?". You say that he has only two modes – cassette and robot, but, as his name is Ratbat, surely he has a bat mode as well? Also, in the same issue, in the Action Force story, page 17, panel 3, is that Optimus Prime in the bottom right-hand corner?
Andrew Foxhall,
Billericay.

What I meant about Ratbat, hume, was that his robot mode is a bat mode. I don't think it's Optimus Prime in the Action Force story, but you never know – maybe he had a respray.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think your 207th issue was really great. The cover was great, and the stories were great, too. The only thing I think was silly about it is that Ratbat is the leader – I mean, he's one of the tiniest Transformers! I do have some questions for you: 1) In issue 208, page 4, why was Soundwave purple when he's supposed to be blue? 2) When will Metroplex come back into the comic?
Carl Key,
Melksham.

I agree that Ratbat shouldn't be Decepticon leader, hume – and there're a lot of us who feel the same, I can tell you! Our day will come! About your questions, though: 1) Maybe he was cold? 2) Never, if I get my way! The bigger they are, the harder they fall!

Dear Dreadwind,
While reading issues 207 and 208 of your so-so mag (just kidding!), I noticed a mistake. In issue 207, we see Buzzsaw tearing Cutthroat's arm from his body. In issue 208, however, we see Cutthroat with his arm securely in it's socket, wielding a piece of metal. Unless the Decepticons have discovered a new, instant treatment for severed limbs, I think Stubbie Delbo has a date with the VVH! By the way – Darkwing is great!
Christopher Legg,
Darlington.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll tell Darkwing to beat you up! There – how's that for a threat?!

Pathetic, hume, pathetic! All I can say about Cutthroat and his wandering arm is that we 'cons heal fast – after all, it was just a flesh wound! I'll warm up the VVH anyway – I'm like that!

Dear Dreadwind,
I think it would be better if you and Darkwing could combine in robot form – then you would be able to trash Prime and the other Autoclots. I have spotted a mistake, though, in your mege Collected Comics 8. In part 2 of Crisis of Command, it says "before the shocked assembled hordes of the Autobots lies the battered and twisted left arm of their comrade, Bumblebee!" But later on, on page 34, pic 4, it shows Bumblebee's right arm missing!
Andrew Ward,
Leeds.
P.S. Where is Megatron?

The thought of combining with Darkwing in any form is quite revolting! Also, I think if you look closely at Bumblebee in page 34 of Crisis Of Command, you'll see that it is his left arm that's gone – but then he always was 'armless! HAH! Megatron's already been featured in Decepticon Empire, and he'll be back in another story very soon.

Dear Dreadwind and Hi-Test,
We have just read the amazing epic Time Wars, and we thought that it was nearly fantastic. There were three things wrong with it, however: A) You weren't featured (boo hoo!), B) You introduced Roadbuster, Chop Shop, Venom, Carnivac and Catilla. Then you had Galvatron kill them! Oh, well – that's life! C) Stubbie Wildman has made another unforgiveable mistake. On the cover of issue 205, he introduced Teenytron (he's above the remains of Battletrap – another sad death). Have a go at him with the VVS, will you? We also have a couple of questions for you: 1) What does Scourge transform into? 2) Who is the fastest Decepticon?
Robert and Mark Newman,
Hertford.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, our friend's baby brother will rip you into little pieces! We're sure he could!

From what I've seen of the young of your species, I can quite believe it! To take your points in order: A) I can live with it, B) Carnivac and Catilla, at least, are still alive – as you'll soon see, C) Already taken care of! As for your questions: 1) When last seen, a mechanoid polo! From when he got shot in the back, remember? He actually turns into a hunter/ tracker vehicle, a form created for him by Unicron. 2) That's a toughie – there're quite a few that break all known speed records when it comes to 'retreating' from a fight! Haw, haw!

Dear Dreadwind,
If the autobots had let the Junkions repair Unicron, he couldv'e killed Galvatron. All Rodimus Prime had to do was to use the matrix to destroy Unicron.
Jarrod Crompton,
Bolton.

Well, that's simple enough, innit? No need for a mega-length epic, Time Wars. No need for hundreds of Transformers to get bumped off, the fabric of time to rip itself to pieces, and the end (very nearly) of life, the universe and everything. No problem.

Dear Dreadwind,
Grimlock here. You're doing quite well on my letters page, so I won't complain – but I wish you wouldn't keep calling me names like 'micro-brained moron'. After all, I did lend you this page out of the kindness of my fuel pump – so look after it well. You're probably wondering why I'm bothering to write in. Well, I'm writing on behalf of a human friend of mine, Tristan Hall, whose mum won't let him get any more Transformers. Oh yeah – how could the Stubbies kill off the Wreckers, when they appear in the Peace story in the Annual.
Tristan Hall,
Glossop.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, Slag will breathe on you.

That's some threat, hume – sorry, Grimlock – and I doubt if it is Grimlock, 'cos he can't spoll. I've already answered the question about the Peace story, about parallel dimensions an' all that stuff, so all in all I think I'm doing a better job with this here letters page that any micro-brained moron could HAH!

Dear Dreadwind,
I've just read issue 213, and all I can say is – it's fantastic! I've read every issue of Transformers since No. 1, but this is the greatest I've ever seen. The new format is impressive, the three-story idea is compelling, the artwork is spectacular and, from what I've seen, the new storylines contain nothing but more thrills to look forward to. By the way – your new-look letters page grabbed my attention immediately. I used to skip the letters page when those rust heaps Soundwave and then Grimlock were in charge, but when you took over I found that things dramatically improved.
Matthew Adam Roberts,
Penrhynside,
Gwynned.
P.S. Say 'hi' to Hi-Chest for me!

Glad to hear that you like the new look, hume. Things had to get better once I took over. It might've had something to do with the VVH, of course, but then I've always believed in sparing the hume and spoiling the rod, or something like that. Hi-Chest says 'hello' back – he's sulking 'cos he doesn't like being called Hi-Chest, but I quite like it. Heh, heh!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been collecting Transformers since issue 27. I have saved all of my comics since then, because I find it good fun to look back at the earlier issues. A couple of questions: 1) What did Impactor transform into? 2) In Time Wars, why didn't the Autobots just get Metroplex or Omega Supreme to step on Galvatron? In the past I have written to both Grimlock and Soundwave, and neither of them printed one of my letters. I hope I can rely on you.
Charles Howell.
Devon.

There you go, hume. You're in print! That's one up on Grimlock and Soundwave! I'm glad to see you have the proper respect for you're Transformers comics. Nasty things could happen to fleshlings if they don't look after them – know what I mean? To your questions: 1) Impactor transformed into an earth-boring vehicle, and then a pile of scrap. HAH! 2) Maybe they didn't want to step on something nasty!

Dear Dreadwind,
A lot of new Transformers have appeared in the shops (Micromaster Transports, Classic Pretenders). When will these appear in the comic? When is Doubledealer going to appear in the comic? He is one of my favourite Transformers, and the comic is the only way I can find out about him. Finally, why doesn't Optimus Prime change when he has the matrix, like Hot Rod does?
Jack Chivers,
Crawley.

The Mircomasters appear in this very issue (well, the Air Strike Patrol does), and the others probably will in the future. Doubledealer is appearing in his very own story in a few weeks time. Look out for him! The reason for Oppy not changing when he has the matrix is probably because he hasn't got it! Rdoimus Prime's still got it, hasn't he, eh?!

Dear Dreadwind or Hi-Test (who'll answer?),
Will Jazz, Starscream, Bumblebee and Grimlock, who include my favourite Transformers, be making a comeback as Pretender Classics? I think that Hound should become one, as it was his desire to become human. I think that Time Wars and the Underbase saga has proved that Transformers is at an all-time best. As for the all-new Transformers, I love it! It's ten times better. Finally, what happened to the Collected Comics? I want to see In The National interest. I won't issue a threat, because I know that you are so brilliant that you will print my letter!
Charles A,
Worcs.

Hey – that's the way to get round me, hume! There's nothing wrong with a bit of crawling! As I think I've already mentioned, the pretender Classics are around now – but I doubt if Hound is a good choice to join their ranks. I mean, fancy wanting to be human? Yuk! The Collected Comics are still a going concern, and No. 12 has been out for ages now – where have you been?!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a few questions for you, but I must rush – I'm in the middle of rebuilding Unicron! 1) How come Skywarp was in issue 209 getting blown up by Starscream? Way back in issue 87, he was killed by Galvatron. 2) In issue 205, where did all the Transformers that were sucked up into the rift go to? 3) Also, when I was uptown, I saw Bumblebee, Jazz, Grimlock and Starscream as Pretenders! Yes, Pretenders! Will they be appearing in the comic ever?
Andrew Holmes,
Edinburgh.
P.S. I don't suppose you know where Unicron's Hydro-Thermal Transactional Neural Circuits go, do you?

Can't say that I do, hume. I hope you have more luck than he did himself! If you're looking for his left foot, Shockwave's using it as an ashtray. To your questions: 1) I keep tellin' you humes – just 'cos a Transformer gets blasted, it doesn't mean he's dead – well, not all the time, anyway. With some it does. Guess who?! 2) They went intoa vast, trans-dimensional plughole! HAH! 3) Could be! I'll give you a hint, hume. The story Race With The Devil might just have something to do with it.

Dear Marvel Comics,
I am writing to complain about the Transformers comic, number 215. What's happened?! Why is the Transformers story Race With The Devil in black and white? Where's the colour? It's no good! What happened to Dread Tidings? That's my favourite part. The comic is nothing compared to what it was.
Iain, Kevin and Paul Firth,
Hull.

Well – you three seem to have a bee in your respective bonnets about Transformers 215. You obviously don't like the new black and white format. Why not colour the stories yourselves? Dread Tidings was left out that issue because there was no room for it. Sorry 'bout that!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a question to ask you: Why is Landmine's body back-to-front in the Mecannibals story?
Gareth Lewis,
Llanelli,
Dyfed.

Ain't that typical of an Autobot – he doesn't know if he's coming or going! Haw, haw!

Dear Dreadwind,
I must congratulate you on your new-look Dread Tidings. On to the questions: How can I purchase the Transformers Universe? 2) Who on Cybertron is Hi-Chest? 3) In issue 213, page 6, pic 2, is that Hi-Test and Throttle? 4) Do you like Unicron, or do you think he's a giant bucket of rusty bolts? If you don't print this letter I'll set Combat Colin and Semi-Automatic Steve on you (I know it's not much of a threat, but the Autobots are fed up with being asked!)
Shaun Hunt,
Belper,
Derbyshire.

That's still some threat, hume – Combat Clod and his semi-sentient sidekick are known and feared throughout the twelve star systems! To your questions: 1) I think you may be out of luck there, hume. It was a limited offer, mail order only. You could try some of the specialist comic shops, though. 2) Ever heard of sarcasm? Play on words? Never mind! 3) Unfortunately, yes. 4) I think he's a very frightening giant bucket of rusty bolts!

Dear (Ahem!) Dreadwind,
Caught you out this time! In issue 183, Dry Run, Cyclonus gets his head ripped off and is branded dead. Before you ask Hi-Chest (sorry – Hi-Test!) to give Megahead a slap on the back (Well, you don't want to do it, do you?) may I remind you of the events in issue 220, when that stupid female bounces Cloudburst's bonce! Yet, guess who walks safely away with Landmine, our heroes victorious? Perhaps you should read the comic every week, before it hits the stands? You are the only person superior enough to check for mistakes – I mean, Grimlock can't even read!
Robin Tipler,
Farmoor,
Oxford.

From your carbon-based gibberings, I take it that you are referring to the fact that Cloudburst survived losing his head, where Cyclonus didn't. Well, it's quite simply really: the 'stupid female' (!) in question kindly restored Cloudburst's head to its rightful place, i.e. on top of his shoulders. Cyclonus wasn't lucky enough to have somebody around to do the same. Personally, I'd rather it'd been the other way round, but you can't have everything. Pity.

Dear Dreadwind,
You overgrown glob of grease! What do you think you're playing at?! First of all, you print a story in black and white, then you print an Action Force story that's already been printed in the American G.I. Joe and, to top it off, you repeat the story Wanted: Galvatron – Dead Or Alive. It's not that I don't like the Death's Head epic, but I've already got it in back issues. This whole thing smells to me like the comic stubbies are either running out of ideas, or the comic is on an incredibly low budget. Oh, and by the way – bring back Grimlock!
Steven Ackroyd,
Hitchin,
Herts.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll send Optimus Prime round to bore you to death with one of his speeches!

I've already explained about the black and white strip – where were you?! As to repeating stories, it may surprise you to know that there may be a lot of people out there who haven't seen them yet, i.e. people new to the comic – so there! Anyway, I don't know what you're complaining about – you're still getting new stories, even if they are in black and white. Surely that's better than no new stories at all, yes?

Dear Dreadwind,
Must dash – I'm fighting the Micromasters – OUCH! – get off me, you bugs! Anyway, I'm glad you got rid of that malfunctioning rust-bucket, Grimlock – hee, hee! Pesky Micromasters! That tickles! Enough about that heap of dino-scrap. In issue 223, you answered Andrew Holmes letter by saying that the story Race With The Devil as something to do with Starscream being a Pretender. I've worked it out – OUCH! – I hate those Micromasters! You and Darkwing were sent to get Starscream's body so that he could be reconstructed as a Pretender. What does Impactor transform into? OUCH! OOH! AAH! – Grr! I can't stand Micromasters!
Justin Baker,
Abbeyleix,
Ireland.
P.S. By the way, you wouldn't know where to get a thermo-nuclear quad barrelled bug blaster, would you?

No, but I can sympathise with your predicament – I can't stand 'em either! Try a flyswat – works a treat! Pretty smart about Starscream, too – but I'm not saying any more 'bout that. You'll have to wait and see. Impactor transforms into a drill tank – he didn't have an Earth mode.

Dear Dreadwind,
At last we have a proper Transformer answering the letters! The new look is great, but Transformers just isn't the same without the full colour. Are there any plans to bring it back? Now for the questions: 1) A while back, I saw an advertisement on TV about the new deluxe Pretenders. One of them was Bumblebee, but how can this be since he is now Goldbug? 2) In issue 177, HiQ said that Prime and the other Powermasters lives were tied to their Nebulan companions Now – what if HiQ were to die of old age, or was killed. Would Prime also die? I've lost count of how many times I've written to Transformers without getting a single letter printed, so print this one or else!
Noel Moore,
Co. Roscommon,
Eire.

Congratulations – you're in print! There aren't any plans at the moment to bring the colour back, I'm afraid, but you never know. As to your questions: 1) All will be explained about the Pretender Classics in due course. Remember, Goldbug was one of the casualties in Time Wars, back in issue 201. 2) The problem with the Powermasters was that they couldn't originally synthesize the fuel sources on Nebulos. So, presumably, if we were to lose our present Nebulans, we could either get a new one, or go back to Cybertron, where the fuel isn't poisonous. Since none of us have lost our Nebulans (I've come close, but no luck!), I don't really know.

Dear Dreadhead, sorry, Dreadwind,
I know that you've explained about the colour but it's a stupid way to introduce the Micromasters – in black and white – and when will there be a calendar of Springer and in issue 227 page 8 in the Transformers A to Z we've got Ramhorn who is an Autobot with a Decepticon badge on his cassette mode the dumb stubbies don't know how dumb they are.
Hamead Hussaini,
Wimbledon,
London.
P.S. If you don't print this letter I'll pay Death's Head to get your head for me.

Ever heard of commas?! Full stops? I'm sorry about the colour but I've already explained about that and I'm getting sick and tired of all the wingein' about it and yes I do know about the Ramhorn cassette with the Decepticon symbol bit of a cheek if you ask me but what do you expect me to do about it and I don't know if there will be a calendar with Springer on it and it just goes to show that the stubbies really are dumb. Phew!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have collected the Transformers comic since No. 1, and for a long time it was my favourite Marvel U.K. comic. Sadly, it is my favourite no longer. I think the decline started around issue 130, when the Headmasters and Targetmasters were introduced. Since then, countless others have made their debut, and I'm having trouble keeping up with them all. In issue 231, you said that there were about 300 Transformers. Don't you think that's a few too many for one comic? I hope the Micromasters signify the end of the new characters for a while. Why not bring out a new comic which concentrates on one or two characters (new or old) each issue? You could call it Transformers Spotlight. Anyway, until there are two thousand Transformers in the comic, Make Mine Marvel!
Kevin Barron,
Driffield,
N. Humberside.

A good letter there, Hume! I agree with you – I think there're too many Transformers – well, Autobots anyway. I mean, you knock one down, there's another one takin' his place. Very irritating. On a more serious note, there are plans for the new year to do exactly what you mentioned, i.e. stories which do concentrate on one or two Transformers per issue – and some of the older characters, too. Remember, you heard it here first!

Dear Dreadwind,
Here are three simple questions for you: 1) Are there any female Transformers? 2) Why do the Pretenders split through the front, when the toys split through the side? 3) Where are all the Transformers?
Peter Rollason,
Halesowen,
West Midlands.

Simple, eh? Okay – 1) Yes, Arcee. You must've seen the origin story in issue 234, yes? She's the only one at the moment. 2) Dunno, but I split my sides laughin' at 'em! Haw, haw! 3) Whadya mean "Where are all the Transformers?"? All over the place, of course!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have noticed that many people have been complaining about the black and white format. I think it's brilliant. In issue 232, on page 18, it read 'Art Will Simpson', where it should be Jeff Anderson. I think it's time you had a talk with the Stubbies! I think the free tattoos are brilliant – why not give away posters and games? I also have a few questions: 1) When will we see more of Soundwave as leader? 2) Have the humans got any easily transported weapons which can damage Transformers? Until next time, Make Mine Marvel!
Lawrence Lynch,
C.Cork.
Ireland.

Well, Hume, I've looked back through my collection of Transformers and you're right – it should read Jeff Anderson. Apologies to the fleshling, and the Stubbies are lining up for the VVH even as we speak – I think they're gettin' to like it! Not a bad idea for giving away posters and games – I'll have to think about that. To your questions: 1) Only in your dreams, Hume! 2) Only the fleshling Circuit Breaker can damage us. Apart from her, there's nothin' else.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been reading Transformers since issue 62, and I think it's still as good as it was then. I loved Prime's Rib in 234. Hi-Test – if you want to stop being a Powermaster, I'll replace you, okay? Will the Decepticon Sports Car Patrol be in the comic? They are my favourite! I know you will print my letter, because you're such a cool guy!
Adam Faulkiner,
Wakefield,
West Yorks.

Crawler! Hi-Test says thanks for the thought, but I don't want all the trouble of breakin' in a new slave – I mean partner! The Decepticon Sports Car Patrol are in the U.S. story Back From The Dead, in this very issue! How's that for service?

Dear (?) Dreadwind,
I've just finished reading issue 230 – what can I say, but what a great opening to a story. Of course, I am referring to The Big Shutdown. here are some questions: 1) Who was Playback, and what did he transform into? 2) I started reading Transformers at issue 81 and was wondering what Thunderwing transforms into, and if he has been in any other stories. 3) When will we see another script or front cover drawn by Lee Sullivan? I think his work is really good. 4) Why is it Goldbug who always gets shot up in a battle? First he is blasted by Death's Head after First Aid gets transported to limbo, then he (in issue 201) is shot by one of Scorponok's cronies, and finally he is blasted by Starscream on a bridge in New York! Do us a favour and go easy on the little fella.
James Clifford,
Mexborough,
S. Yorks.
P.S. Print this letter or I'll get Apeface to spit on you!

Yeargh! What a disgusting thought! Here goes: 1) Playback was a Cybertronian Autobot, another of the cassette ones, I think. It's academic now, innit? 2) Thunderwing is a recent addition to the ranks and is now Decepticon leader (on Cybertron). He's been in several stories since Big Shutdown, well, two actually, Rage and Assault On The Ark. You could say he's pretty much a permanent fixture these days. 3) Hard to say. Stubbie Sullivan is busy working for the U.S. at the moment. More on that in the future. 4) Goldbug's got the sorta face you've just gotta beat up on, y'know?

Dear Dreadwind,
My letter concerns the amount of complains about the black and white format. Personally, I think it's better, as it gives us some idea of the work put in by the artists, which is normally unnoticed from the colourists. It shows us the different shading techniques used by different artists. Well Done. Two more points: 1) I wish that scriptist Simon Furman hadn't shown us so far into the future with Aspects Of Evil. We see Rodimus Prime still alive in 2356, so that means in all the stories until then he can't be destroyed. 2) How about, in the stories when Transformers fire at one another, we see the effects of the guns' special powers? Issue 106 is the only issue I can recall this happening.
James Murtagh,
Ayreshire.

Good on yer, Hume! I'm sick of all the whinin' about the black and white. Good point that, about seein' too much of Rodilot Prime (the famous cat food tin!) – I'm sick of him now, let alone in the future! As to your other point, the effects in question have been featured quite regularly, and issue 163 is only one example: the Decepticon Pretenders, remember? alone – he's a good boy, good to his mother. So there.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think the comic is the best. When you took over Grimlock's post as 'Master' of the letters page, he became regarded as a 'peabrain'. I would like to point out that when you are taken over from (which I hope will never happen, but we said that about Grimlock...), you will (unfortunately) also be called 'peabrain, etc., etc., and don't think that Hi-Test will get away either! A question: Will we be able to get the Predacons as mini toys?
Jimmy Morgan,
Edgware,
Middlesex.

You like livin' dangerously, don't you Hume! I mean, not only do you insult me by inferring that I'll lose this page (which will never happen, of course), but also comparin' me to Grimlock! No contest there, fleshy one! I agree about Hi-Test, though. He wouldn't have to worry about bein' called a peabrain – he's one already! Haw, haw! To answer your question, I don't think you'll be able to get the Predacons in any form – they're only available in the U.S.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think your comic is brill, it's action-packed, got everything in it, and I think the black and white story is a great idea. I've been reading Transformers since issue 40, and I will keep buying it. I've got over 75 Transformers, including Trypticon and Metroplex. But don't get worried – I've got a toy of you as well. You don't think I would miss you out, do you? Anyway, could you answer a few questions for me: 1) Do you know Stranglehold, Bludgeon and Octopunch? 2) Has an Autobot ever saved your life before? 3) In Aspects of Evil, is the student evil?
Yours Hoping-you'll-print-this-letteringly,
Kris Ford,
Eastleigh,
Hampshire.

That's not to mention the 25 'pleases' after your name either, Hume! Well, it worked – you're in print! To your questions: 1) I haven't had the pleasure of meeting them yet. 2) Get outta here! 3) Yep – but that's all part of the Unicron/matrix, Good versus Evil stuff. The student, initially good, becomes corrupted by the idea of Unicron's power – see?

Dear Hi-Test,
I have been collecting Transformers since issue 1, and I like the Decepticons better than those rust-bucket Autobots. Here are some questions: 1) Will Bludgeon, Stranglehold and Octopunch be available in toy form? 2) Where can I get back issues of Transformers? 3) When will the Autobot Pretender Beasts be appearing? 4) Take my advice – leave Deadhead to gather rust. Would you like to be Galvatron's partner? 5) If the Autobots have the Ark flying, why don't they go back to Cybertron?
Phillip Banks,
Widnes,
Cheshire.

Right: 1) Where have you been?! They've been in the shops for ages now! 2) Specialist shops. 3) They've been around for quite some time, too, both in toy form and in the comic. 4) No, I wouldn't like to be Galvatron's partner – he's dead! 5) It'd spoil the storyline, wouldn't it? There'd be nobody for the Decepticons to beat up on, right?

Dear Dreadwind,
Thank you for taking over from that prehistoric peabrain Grimlock. I have some questions: 1) How come, in the 12 page booklet, it said that Unicron transformed into Cybertron? In the movie, he tried to dispose of Cybertron. What on Cybertron's going on? 2) In issue 221, it said: "at Hot Rod's touch the casing opened", but he pulled at it to get it open. Is this a Stubbie mistake?
Michael Harrison,
Glasgow.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get the Autobot Pretender Beasts to tear you to shreds!

Whoopie Doo! The only thing the Pretender Beasts are good for is going walkies and fetchin' the postman! To your questions: 1) Wrong, Hume! It actually says that Primus transforms himself into Cybertron, not Unicron – so there! That's the reason why Unicron was trying to destroy Cybertron. 2) No, it's not a Stubbie mistake for once – it's just that Hot Rod's so weak, it took all his strength to get the thing open! Ain't that typical?!

Dear Dreadwind,
Transformers is great. I have been collecting the comic since issue 123, and I haven't stopped since. I live in Bahrain, and have been living here for 9 years. Please could you answer these questions: 1) In issue 219, Cloudburst said "where I come from there are no sexes", but what is Arcee? 2) What does Skids turn into? If you don't print this letter, I will send some hi-tech camels over to stomp all over you – painful.
Nick Warman,
Bahrain.

Painful is right! Without further ado, to your questions: 1) If you haven't seen the Prime's Rib story in issue 234, which tells of the origin of Arcee, then I'll explain: In a bid to alleviate a potentially explosive situation concerning certain female pressure groups, Optimus Prime introduced Arcee to the ranks. However, this didn't actually have the desired effect, and Prime ended up being called a male chauvinist pig, which is better than some of the names he's been called, I can tell you! 2) A van, and then a pile of scrap!

Dear Dreadwind,
Just about everybody is complaining about the new black and white format. Well, I think it's fantastic. Here are a few questions for you: 1) What's happened to Ratbat? We haven't seen him since the Underbase saga! 2) When will we be seeing the Micromaster transports and the Micromaster bases in the comic? 3) Why don't you produce a U.K. version of the Transformers Universe? So, until Bumblebee destroys Unicron, Make Mine Marvel!
Simon Halladay,
Leeds.

Huh! That'll be the day! Without further ado, to your questions: 1) Well, it's like this: he's dead! 2) I dare say they'll turn up soon – I have the little swines! 3) There is, or was, one, but you could only get it by mail order. Try the specialist shops.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have three queries, two about the Transformers comic and the other about a toy. Firstly, in issue 240, Thunderwing is leader-to-be of the Decepticons. Also, when I rubbed the hologram on Rodimus Prime, I got a severe shock – instead of the Autobot's sign appearing, the Decepticon one did! Can this be possible? in issue 241, B. 'Bug' Beg from Essex asked about places which sell the Transformers comic, and you replied "London". Well, I happen to live 400 miles away from there. What advice can you give to other kids in the same boat?
Faisel Syed,
Greasby,
Merseyside.

Well, Hume, if you look in the classified ads that appear every month in Transformers, you'll see lotsa places, up and down the country. Thunderwing is all set to become Decepticon leader, as will be seen in the next few issues of Transformers. As to the rogue Rodimus Prime, there's a thought. I think it's just a mistake, though.

Dear Dreadwind, or (preferably) Hi-Test,
How do Transformers like Soundwave shrink? He transforms from a massive robot to a tiny cassette. How do you do it?
James Kirk,
R.A.F. Uxbridge,
Middlesex.

Well, Hume, it's all in the reflexes!

Dear Dreadwind,
I think the comic is brill, but on to the questions: 1) I am 13, and will be 14 after Christmas. Do you think I'm a bit old for reading Transformers comic? 2) What did Primus transform into? 3) What did Lord Straxus transform into? 4) How did Starscream get remade as a Pretender if his mind had been driven mad by the Underbase? I know you will print this letter, because you are the most mega-brill, cool, smart Decepticon in all creation!
Lee Hibbs,
Cheadle,
Cheshire.

Crawler! But true, nevertheless. To your questions: 1) Never! I'm four million-and-a-bit years old, and I still read Transformers! 2) Anything he liked! He is our god, y'know. 3) Straxus, when he could still transform, did so into a giant, flying cannon. 4) That one's been worryin' me, too. I mean, if he's back and even more powerful than he was, and he's mad ... doesn't bear thinkin' about, really!

Hi, Dreadwind!
I guess you don't remember me after all this time – the name's Black Jack. That was quite a slip you gave me back on Femax. A moment earlier and I would have caught up with you. But I'll catch you, even if it takes me all eternity! Unless, of course, you're ready to make a deal. Answer these little questions of mine and I'll forget the 20,000 Energon chips you owe me. Being a hired assassin, I once knew an Autobot called Deff-Con. The last time anybody heard of him he was chasing two of your pals – Astrotrain and Ramjet. What did your pals do with him? Nothing personal, but I think you make a better letter editor than that microchip moron Grimlock. He was no fun to hunt. I really don't support either Autobots or Decepticons but I'd sure hate to see a very amusing war come to an end, wouldn't you? When is Rodimus Prime going to put a reward out on your head, and why don't I see you more often around Elpasos? Afraid? I hope you're still as good a sparring partner as you were a few years ago. Nothing's too good for our future Decepticon Leader. Guess that's all for now. Give Darkwing a good bash from me and remember – fail to respond and I'll darken the sky with your ashes!
Yours truly,
Black Jack.
P.S. Call me a 'Hume' and I'll get Death's Head after you!

Well, Hu – sorry! Slip of the tongue, y'know! I don't remember you at all – still, it takes all sorts to make an omellette. Or something like that.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think you are brilliant and, even more than that, you are out of this world, even Cybertron! I think Transformers is great, and I know a lot about Transformers, but I do have a few problems: 1) In the '89 Annual, in Prime Bomb, Prime sacrifices his trailer, but the next minute he comes out of the water as the larger Prime. How? 2) When will Transformers be on telly again? 3) I do have one complaint, about the toys. Some of the new Transformers are losing their signs. Why?
Yours so very sincerely,
John Chamary,
Bristol.
P.S. Decepticons wouldn't care about answering mail except to fans like me, would they?
P.P.S. This is for your benefit. Instead of a picture of Prime on the cover, there should be a picture of you. After all, it is your comic!

Yeah! Too right! I like your style. Hume – you can stay! To your problems: 1) He has a spare? 2) Dunno. 3) Ditto. Can I answer letters or what?! P.S. No!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have collected Transformers since issue 38, and have managed to get issues 29-37 from my friend Allan, who started at issue 1 and stopped at issue 58 – shame! So far, I have found no one who will sell (my friend won't sell either), and I have tried a lot of ads in the classified section also. I was even going to put an ad in the paper, but my mum wouldn't let me. I was wondering if you could tell me please, please, if you know any shops that sell the back issues? I am after 1-28. I intend to collect Transformers until it stops, and it's still my favourite. Here are some things I suggest to improve the comic: 1) Bring back the old 3D Transformers title. 2) More fact files, posters and calendars. 3) Put Geoff Senior back on the artwork. 4) Bring back the format from issues 1-22. 5) Bring back Machine Man, alias Aaron Stack (I got that from my friend Allan). 6) Less adverts and more features. Please print this as I have written six times already, and they have never seen print. Make Mine Marvel!
Kerri Hunter,
Glasgow,
P.S. What happened to the Transformers binders mentioned in issue 60?

Dunno. But I think anybody who wanted to keep their comics in somethin' must've found somethin' else to keep them in! As to back issues, you'll just have to keep trying the specialist shops – that's all I can suggest. Now – your suggestions for improving the comic: 1) No – I like the new one, so there! 2) Already in hand. 3) Ditto. 4) No. 5) Ditto (sorry Allan!). 6) I'm workin' on it.

Dear Dreadwind,
I would just like to tell you that this year's Annual was mega-fantastic. The history of the Transformers' War was particularly original, and the Trigger Happy story was a bit slick as well (although there were a few mistakes, such as 'offer' being spelt with three F's and 'threat' spelt 'theat'). Also, in our local toy ship, I noticed some Transformer Classics such as Wheeljack and Sunstreaker. I would like to know if Hasbro will be bringing back any old Decepticons, such as Megatron and Skywarp. By the way – this is the third letter I have sent to Transformers, so if this doesn't get printed I'll send Metroplex round to sit on your head!
David Baumann,
Dunstable,
Beds.

Third time lucky, Hume! Glad you liked the Annual – would you believe the Stubbies have already started work on the next one (1991!)? The only old Decep' being brought out – at the moment – is Menasor, in his combined form and as the separate Special Team members.

Dear Dreadwind,
How many times do I have to write to you before I get an answer? My head is literally exploding with all the questiosn I want to ask you, like: How tall are you? How much mail do you get a week, on average? When will the Battlechargers be back? Where has Soundwave been lately? I haven't seen him in the comic for a while. If you don't answer these questions, I'll disintegrate – so there!
Mark Skitt,
Morpeth,
Northumberland.
P.S. When will the Decepticon camera Reflector be featured in the comic?

Don't disintegrate, Hume – it makes an awful mess on the carpet! I'll answer your questions: I'm about 42 feet tall, give or take. That's juat about tall enough to see over the pile of letters I get! The Battlechargers will be in next week's story – how's that for service? If you got issue 248, you may have noticed Soundwave in the Fallen Star story. He's still around! I dunno when Reflector will be in the comic – but I'll keep you in the picture if anythin' develops! (Geddit?)

Dear Dreadwind,
When I was in my Dad's car the other day, I saw a sticker on the car in front of me which said "I love my Oppy". Could this be an Autobot car showing his allegiance to his respected leader Optimus? Happy 250th birthday to all at Marvel!
David Mapes,
Ashford,

Bit late, but thanks for the good wishes! There must be an Autobot base somewhere near Ashford. Hi-Test, get the boys together! Where's me A to Z?

Dear Dreadwind,
I've never written to a comic before, so I hope you'll print my letter. I've enclosed my version of Andy Wildman's cover for issue 205 hope you like it! Now down to business – I have a joke and some questions. Here's the joke:

Q: What does a baby Decepticon go to the toilet in?
A: An Autopot!

Now the questions: 1) Have you any idea how I can improve my Transformers drawings? 2) Are there any Transformer games for the Amstrad CPC 464?
Mark Roberts,
Sheerness,
Kent.

LOVED the joke, Hume! The drawin' wasn't bad either, but more on that below. To your questions, in order: 1) Keep practisin'! 2) Not that I know of, but I'm sure I went to school with an Amstrad...

Dear Dreadwind,
First of all, I'd like to say that your comic (and you) are COOL! I am also glad that you took over from that stupid Dinojunk, Grimlock. But I have also noticed something, a Stubbie mistake. In issue 245, the Underworld story, we see an Autobot called Flattop. In the toy range, however, Flattop is a Decepticon Micromaster transport. I think you should get the VVH warmed up!
Gareth Bartaby,
Cleckeaton,
West Yorks.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get the Stubbies to bring Grimlock back onto the letters page!

I'd like to see them try! They're too busy gettin' VVH'd! Obviously, the Flattop in question (the Autobot one) was just a pathetic attempt at copying a Decepticon warrior, but then he didn't last long, so there's no problem, right?

Dear Dreadwind,
I think Transformers are brill! I have a few questions for you: 1) What does Nightbeat transform into? 2) Will there be an epic about Impactor when he was alive. 3) Why doesn't Oppy ever transform into his bare mode? 4) Will there be a mini-epic about the Micromaster bases?
Jon Kaiser,
Burton-On-Trent,
Staffs.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get Fortress Maximus to sneeze at you!

Ugh! Whatta revoltin' thought! Get your hankie ready, Forty, here we go: 1) A sportscar (we've had this one before, haven't we? 2) No. 3) I don't really know what you mean here, but personally I think you've got a rather unhealthy interest in the more biological side of things! 4) Could be. Stay tuned!

Dear Dreadwind,
This is the first time I've ever written to Transformers comic, even though I've been collecting it since it first came out. 1) In issue 236, Road Handler refuses to back down from the fight with The Jackhammer because of his honour, but when he gets into the ring he let's Jake beat him up and does not defend himself. Why? 2) Who is the cleverest and strongest of the Powermasters: Darkwing or yourself?
Conor Sweeney,
Newcastle,
Co. Dublin.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll use your letters page as a dartboard!

I get the point, Hume! To your questions: 1) I think Road Handler didn't fight because he found out it was all for show. I would've mashed the pathetic Hume, but there you go. 2)Silly question!

Dear Dreadwind (and regards to Hi-time-I-got-a-better-name!)
Hey! Yo! Check this out (yes, I am a freak!)! I know that it's taken me a long time to point this out (two year actually), but I am a Home Boy (a fan of Rap/House music to you!), and a long while ago I bought Derek B's excellent album 'Bullet From A Gun'. On the album there's a track called 'Get Down', in which Derek is boasting about that a cool chap he is. He sings the lyric 'A Capricorn, yeah he was born, and like Omega Supreme, he can transform'. Groovy! Also, there's a track called 'Power Move', which mentions the Autobots. So – we have a famous fan! Derek B is a bad young brother! One final question: What is the average height for a Micromaster? Until Trypticon posses the Matrix, Make Mine Marvel!
Yours, rapping up the house,
Mark McNaughton,
Penryn,
Cornwall.

'Rapping up the house'? You'll need a lotta paper, Hume! Haw, haw! Sorry 'bout the P.S.'s, but there wasn't enough room on a page for 'em! Nice to hear Transformers has got 'street cred' – whatever that is. The average height of a Micromaster is about 7 feet, or about 25 feet across if you step on 'em! Haw, haw!

Dear Dreadwind,
I just have to congratulate Simon Furman in taking over the American strip and the superb stories he has penned of late. The Megatron/Ratchet/Pretender Classics saga was great and the further look into the Transformers' origin was pretty nifty, particularly the shock ending of that story, with a certain giant mechanoid learning the location of Cybertron and his mortal enemy. Fans of Geoff Senior will be thrilled to learn that he takes over as (permanent?) American artist as of the Primal Scream story. Bigger and better things are on the way from across the Atlantic courtesy of Simon Furman and Geoff Senior – Optimus Prime's biggest, most important test to date, dare I say Matrix Quest? Now it's a question of time: 1) Any chance of Phil Gascoine, John Higgins, John Ridgeway or Steve Parkhouse having a go at the strip or cover artwork? 2) How about producing a plan of the Ark showing it's interior, such as the engine room, repair bays, detention bays, the bridge, etc. please? So, until Transformers goes fortnightly, Make Mine Marvel U.K.!
David Grew,
Burton On Trent
Staffs.
P.S. I think you're pretty cool, Dreadwind!

Cheers, Hume! Don't give too much away on the American storylines, though! To your questions: 1) Dunno. But if I threaten hard enough ... 2) Y'know, I had that very thought the other day. It'd be useful in case we ever want to take it, eh? We'll have to see about that.

Dear Dreadwind,
Transformers are totally brilliant! I have two questions for you: 1) Who exactly was Deathbringer? 2) Who is Robot Master, from issue 65? Can you tell Semi-Automatic Steve that my sister thinks he's cute.
Graham Libaert,
Fleet,
Hants.
P.S. If you don't publish this letter, I'll set the Scraplets on you!

Nasty! Without further ado, to your questions: 1) Deathbringer was a member of a race of mechanoids dedicated to the relieving of suffering amongst fellow mechs by bringing painless death. See? 2) Robot Master was a comic character invented by Donny Finkleberg, who was talked into becoming the real thing by an employee of the Triple I (Intelligence and Information Institute) organisation, a U.S. Government (secret) department. Triple I wanted something to explain the prescence of the Transformers on Earth, which the public would accept.

Fellow Mechanoid Dreadwind,
I write to you in desperation, as I am a Cybonoid in search of fame, like you a brilliant presenter of the Transformers comic if you like – and what a great comic it is too! Though I must admit I started reading it from issue 83 and, dreadfully, stopped at 130, but re-read them when I decided to buy the 200th issue and have followed on since then. At first, I didn't like having to read the newish black and white strip, but the lack of colour is brilliantly redeemed by the standard of art.
Yours, impressed,
Cybonoid 143,
Carlisle,
Cumbria.
P.S. No – Marvel Comics didn't pay me to say that! Heh, heh!

Glad to hear it, Hu – sorry, Cybonoid 143 of Carlisle. I didn't know there were any in that neck of the woods. Oh, well – it takes all sorts to make a rolling stone gather no moss. Or something like that!

Dear Dreadwind,
This is the moment you've been waiting for (Lunty – drumroll please)! TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE II! Wow! The official Movie II, everyone's in it! It's the Pretender Exodus! Look out for it in box offices around the country.
Yours filmingly,
Mark Hallard and Lunty,
Stockport,
Cheshire.

I don't know how this one slipped through! You keep in touch with yourself, Hume!

Hey, Humes – I got a bone to pick with ya! Since I mentioned doin' the Comic Exchange again, some of you out there have got the wrong idea about it. I've had several bulky packages containing the comics you want to swap. WRONG! Y'see, it works the same way as the Stock Exchange – you send me a list of the ones you want to swap, I get it printed, whoever wants your swap gets in touch with you. SO STOP SENDIN' ME YOUR COMICS! Right – on with the letters:

Dear Dreadwind,
HOORY! THE OLDIES ARE BACK! I'm talking about the Transformers Classics by the way, namely Prowl, Ironhide, Sunstreaker, Wheeljack and Silverbolt. Still – back to the letter. I have some questions for you: 1) Is Sideswipe a Transformers Classic? 2) I am 12 years old. Am I too old to read the comic? 3) Why is this comic so good? 4) How does the VVH work? I'm thinking of getting one!
Chris Smith,
Wiltshire.

I don't know why they're bringin' back all these old crocks – they should've been put out to pasture years ago! Or traded in for spare parts. To your questions: 1) No. 2) 'Course Not! 3) 'Cos I'm here to keep an eye on the Stubbies. 4) The VVH has a set of nasty looking electrodes which attach to certain highly sensitive areas of the nervous system. Failing that, there's a back-up of Max Bygraves records – very nasty indeed!

Dear Dreadwind,
While I was reading the write-up on Jekyll and Hyde in the Sun newspaper TV page (6/1/90), it said 'Note for kids: Marvel Comics pinched the idea to create The Hulk'. If I were you, I'd start to warm up the VVH and give it to Garry Bushell, the Sun' TV page writer!
Anon,
Coventry.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll tell everyone about that Autobot you let go back on Cybertron!

What Autobot? Don't remember that – you must be makin' it up, Hume! I suppose you could say that Dr. Jekyll must've been the first Hume Transformer – so Robert Louis Stevenson could well have pinched the idea from us! (He wrote Jekyll and Hyde, y'know).

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been reading your comic now for the past number of years and I enjoy it very much. There are some questions I would like to ask you: 1) Where has Ultra Magnus disappeared to? I like him very much, and we haven't seen much of him at all. 2) Why is it that in the 1989 Transformers Annual, in the story Dreadwing Down, page 31, Getaway said he wasn't going into that 'wet stuff' because he'd rust? But I thought that your metal is different and it doesn't rust.
Rudi Sheridan.
Co. Cork,
Ireland.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll ring the Sharkticons for an early lunch at your office!

Makes a change from the Mecannibals, eh? To your questions: 1) The Last time we saw him (correct me if I'm wrong) was in the Aspects of Evil story about Shockwave. He's still around, though. If you haven't already noticed, he's in the latest Collected Comics – which features his original appearance on Earth. 2) It's true that we don't generally rust, but there isn't any water on Cybertron and it can have an effect on Earthbound Transformers. But it's still typical of an Autobot to winge on about it! One small point: it's the 1990 Annual, not 1989.

Dear Dreadwind,
I am writing to you on behalf of my 5 year old son – honest! He has two questions that he would like you answer: 1) What is Hoist's voice like? 2) How many Autobots have you killed so far? I read your comic every week to my son and I must admit, although I am 31, I do enjoy it very much!
Mr. D. Marshall &
Master Ben Marshall,
Desborough,
Northants.

I bet you two fight over the comic every week, eh?! To your – sorry! – your son's questions: 1) Like a truck backfiring! 2) Difficult one, that. It's so hard to keep track, y'know. Must be dozens by now.

Dear Dreadwind,
You might think it's impossible that you are reading a letter all the way from Switzerland, and me knowing about Dread Tidings. This is because my Grandmother in Hampshire goes to the newsagent every week, and sends them by Airmail. I have some questions for you: 1) Why don't Hasbro make Cybertronian Transformers? 2) I just got the Pretender Grimlock from Santa Claus on Christmas Day. If you look at the sheet with all the Transformers toys on it, you'll see there's a mistake with the Off Road Patrol. Tote has the vehicle mode of Mudslinger, Powertrain has the vehicle mode of Tote and Mudslinger has the vehicle mode of Powertrain! Why is that so?
Danny Sutton,
Basle,
Switzerland.

Well, yodel-odle-ae-he-hoo, Hume! It's certainly different to get a letter from Switzerland, I must admit – but where's Switzerland?! There're so many countries on this pathetic mudball it makes my head spin! Oh well – on to the questions: 1) 'Cos they've never seen any Cybertronian Transformers, that's why! 2) Obviously a Stubbie error in there somewhere. Good! it gives me an excuse to VVH the lot of 'em! Haven't done that for a while.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have collected the Transformers comic since issue 174. I am sorry I missed the first comics. Well – I'd better get to my questions: 1) In the Transformers 1990 Annual, Dicet (who wrote a history of the Autobot/Decepticon war) mentions an argument. Huffer and Ironhide are battling it out. But Dicet writes Ironside! Is this a joke or a mistake? 2) Where were Hi-Test and Throttle when Darkwing and you were having a good time in the story Out To Lunch? 3) In the same epic, what happened to Quickswitch at the end?
Stephen Donnelly,
Belfast.
P.S. If you do not print this letter, I'll have the Autobot Micromasters run around pestering you for the rest of your life!

How irritating! Without further ado, your questions: 1) That must be Ironside, the famous typing error! (It's a mistake, Hume!) 2) We left them at home! 3) He went his own sweet way. If I hadn't been so ... confused, I'd have had a go at him. But you can't have everything, I s'pose.

Dear Hi-Test,
My brother says he knows everything about Transformers, so I want to see if he is right. Here are some questions: 1) Do Marvel make the Transformers videos? 2) Is Grimlock stronger than Dreadwind? 3) Who made Optimus Prime? I didn't write to Dreadwind, because I think he is a peabrain! I wish people would stop being so horrible to Grimlock.
Catherine Warne (the sister of a great fan of yours),
Stanmore,
Middx.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, Bubble, my pet goldfish, will beat you up!

Whoa! There's nothing worse than being beaten up by a goldfish! To answer your questions: 1) No. 2) Difficult. We'd have to set them against each other to find out! 3) Can't help you there. All I can tell you is that Optimus Prime came from the Iacon region of Cybertron, to become Autobot leader. Anyone out there got any more information on the subject?

Dear Dreadwind,
As the Megatron that was involved in Time Wars has killed himself, does this mean the knowledge that Galvatron is Megatron is lost to the other Megatron?
J. H. Myers,
Southend On Sea,
Essex.

Wha–? No – Yes! I'm getting one of my headaches! I think what we've got here is a time loop, where events in the future (when Megatron is transformered into Galvatron) are as fixed as events in the present, and anyway – Galvatron lets on that he is Megatron back in Target:2006 (currently running in the latest Collected Comics, a quick plug there!), so the information must be available to the Megatron that survived Two Megatrons, right?

Dear Dreadwind,
This, Windy old boy, is my fifth letter to Transformers and I'm getting sick of writing, so this is why I'm typing! Anyway – here's the threat so that my letter will be printed: If you don't print this letter, I'll set the Roadjammers on you (remember them?)! Now for some compliments: I think you and Hi-Test are great, apart from the fact that you never printed my previous letters. I also think that the black and white format is great. Now for a theory of mine: I think I know why Galvatron was so muddled in Time Wars – he had not seen anything of the real battle before through the eyes of Megatron, because the Megatron that becomes him was on Cybertron trying to repair himself and he'd forgotten that. Am I right?
Darragh Greene,
Co. Dublin,
Ireland.
P.S. Any mistakes made were by my Autobot typewriter, who doesn't like me writing to Decepticons.

Yeah – I know thefeoling! 'VE got oneof thim moeself! But seriously – about your theory: Yes – I think. Ta for the compliments too!

Dear Dreadwind,
Well, what's happened to them? I refer to some of the older Decepticons who haven't made an appearance since early last year. Where are they? Has Scorponok left them lying in the streets of New York, Buenos Aires and Tokyo after the conclusion of the Underbase saga? Oh, yeah – bring back Shockwave, he's too good to waste! The Void is progressing into a good story, it's a change to see the future of the Autobot/Decepticon war!
Jonathan Hadfield,
Birmingham.
P.S. Good luck destroying Autobots, even though you don't need it!

Ta! Sorry it's taken so long to get round to your letter, Hume – I mean, we're talkin' about ten issues ago for The Void story. Hope you liked it! The older 'cons should be makin' more of an appearance form now on. We've already had Skywarp and Thundercracker in issue 257, Constructicons and Stunticons in this issue, and Shockwave next week! How's that for service?!

Dear Dreadwind,
I like the black and white format! I spend all day colouring them in. I have some questions for you to answer; 1) In issue 252, is Rodimus Prime really evil? 2) Are you going to put Prowl back in the comic?
Christopher Richardson,
Newcastle Upon Tyne.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I will get Optimus Prime to blow your head off!

Yeah, yeah – heard it all before! To your questions: 1) No – his mind was taken over by the essence of Unicron, trapped within the Matrix. 2) In case you hadn't noticed, he's been back twice already (issues 255 and this one!), and he's gonna be around a lot more from now on.

Dear Dreadwind,
As I was reading this year's Annual, I got to the Autobot Battle Patrol factfile and noticed that on the picture there are four robots but only three factfiles. Could you please tell me the name of the missing one and a little profile on him? Until Lord Straxus gets a brain, Make Mine Marvel!
Lee Ollis,
Kingswood,
Bristol.
P.S. I think your comic is fab and cool!

Ta, Hume! The missing Battle Patrol member is Flak, and his motto is "Good luck is the residue of good planning". Pretty stupid if you ask me, but there you go. He's supposedly a 'battle-hardened veteran, which probably means he's spent years bitin' kneecaps – Haw, haw! Micros – I hate 'em!

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 249, you told Eamon Connery that Thunderwing's shell was virtually indestructible. But some Pretenders, like Pincher, have endurances of 5. Does that mean that some Pretenders, even with the outer shells, are easy to destroy? Also in issue 249, we see Longtooth fixing up a fellow Autobot, but his function is undersea defence. Please explain.
Richard Bailey,
Auckland,
New Zealand.

I think you're being a bit inflexible here, Hume. I mean, just 'cos Pincher's only got an endurance of 5 doesn't mean his shell isn't indestructible. It just means that he tires quicker than others of a higher endurance. See? There is one point – the shell is incredibly tough, but any damage done to it is felt by the shell's owner. Most Autobots will go to the aid of a fallen comrade (we 'cons don't bother!) as Longtooth did. It's got nothin' to do with his function.

Dear Dreadwind,
If you don't print this letter, I'll get my friends the Firecons to give you a real roasting! Here are some questions: 1) In issue 227, it showed a pile of Autobots and Decepticons who had been battered by Unicron, including Galvatron. But why would Unicron batter his own creation Galvatron? 2) What does Steeljaw transform into? 3) Who is the leader of the Mayhem Attack Squad? 4) Have you considered extending the comic a few pages?
Lee Atkinson,
Rudda Lane,
Staintondale.
P.S. Have you thought about Longtooth taking over? You could call it Longtooth's Letters.

I could call it a lot of things – but there are children present! Wotta revoltin' thought. To your questions: 1) Unicron is what we call a cosmic loonie – he will use anything and anybody to get what he wants. He's like that. 2) Steeljaw is one of the Autobot cassettes, and transforms into a lion-thing. 3) Spinister. 4) Yes – but that's as far as it goes – thinkin' about it.

To Dreadwind,
I am the father of three avid readers of your comic – but as I reserve your comic, I am the person in our household who can read it first, and I do. I read your comic from back to front, with the exception of the Action Force story, and I hate the children who write in and ask if 16 is an age too old at which to admire your stories. I am 47!
Mr. Martin Limerick,
Ascot,
Berkshire.
P.S. You should print the comic on recycled paper – then it would be the first recycled comic in Marvel history (I think).

Oh, I'm gonna enjoy sendin' you a toy, Hume! Not a bad idea about the recycled paper, though. I still think readin' the comic from back to front is a strange way of doin' things – I mean, it wouldn't make much sense, what?!

Dear Dreadwind,
I've written to that bag of bolts Grimlock once and didn't get it printed – I hope you will. I can't see why people complain about the black and white stories, I think they're great! And I love the new letters page. I've got some questions for you, so please answer them: 1) Who is Professor Anthony Morris? 2) Am I the only person from Australia who's written to you? 3) Do you like Hi-Test? 4) When will we see the Terrorcons in the comic? 5) Will we ever see the Roadjammers? Until Grimlock swaps his brain circuit for a screw driver, Make Mine Marvel!
Matthew Wolfs,
Queensland,
Australia.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll tell the Mecannibals, and if I were you I'd stop teasing Hi-Test – he could walk out on you!

Nah – he'd have trouble walkin' without legs – know what I mean?! Without further ado, bedobedo, to your questions: 1) Guess you weren't around for the competitions, Hume! The Prof in question was the robotics genius who, through advanced technology, gained control of Swoop and the human-built Centurion. 2) No – I get quite a few antipodean letters. 3) Dumb question! 4) Who knows? Anything can happen in Transformers! 5) See 4!

Dear Dreadwind,
I won't threaten you like everyone else, because I like the Decepticons – especially you! I have some questions for you: 1) You know the Guardian Mark IV Droid? Well, it looked like it was based on Slapdash. Was it? 2) If you were the leader of the Decepticons, what would be the first thing you'd do? 3) I recently bought a G.I. JOE figure in a shop, called Shockwave. Is he one of the new ones being brought out this year? 4) Will there be a repeat (Collected Comics) of Showdown and Command Performances? And lastly, 5) Is there a shop that sells older Transformers? I'm trying to collect Superion.
James Kinsey,
Long Eaton,
Nottingham.
P.S. Will there ever be another Action Force crossover?

I doubt it, Hume, but there's the American G.I. JOE/Transformers crossover – who knows?! To your other questions: 1) I don't personally know the Guardian Mark IV Droid, but no – it wasn't. 2) I'd stop answerin' dumb Hume questions! 3) Yes. 4) Dunno. We're still workin' our way through Target: 2006 – that'll take up most of this year! 5) I don't know myself, but you're in luck with Superion – he's back in the toy range this year, both as a complete figure and as the separate team members.

Dear Dreadwind,
I would like to say how utterly brilliant the comic is! I think the black and white stories are great, because you can see the artist's way of drawing. Some Autobots are scrapheaps, so that's why I think the Decepticons are cool. I would like to ask you a few questions: 1) Who is the leader of the Sparkabots? 2) Why aren't there many two-page battles like in issue 148? 3) When will we see more of Scorponok and the Decepticon jets? 4) In issue 213, page 13, bottom box, who are the three Decepticons? 5) Who is your best friend? 6) I love the stories of the classic Autobots that started with Prowl in issue 255. Will there be one about Trailbreaker? 7) Will there be any more offers of Transformers?
Timothy Wise,
Snodland,
Kent.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get the stubbies to stop putting you in the stories!

Huh! They don't put me in 'em much, anyway! To your somewhat lengthy questions: 1) Sizzle. 2) Not enough room? 3) Dunno. 4) If you look closely, at the bottom of the panel is a little box that contains their names – Legonis, Octus and Seizer – and no, there aren't any toys of them! 5) Me! 6) No. 7) What offers? You mean competitions? Lotsa them!

Dear Dreadwind,
I think the comic is brill, and the extra factfiles are great. A few questions: 1) When will Centurion be back again? 2) I think Impactor is brill, pity he had to die but then again, he might come back (hint, hint!) but if not you could at least print his factfile. 3) In the 1988 Annual, in the story called Peace, is that all the Autobots left? 4) What happened to the Death's Head comic? 5) Is there anywhere I can get my hands on the Transformers: The Movie soundtrack? And please don't say 'try the specialist shops'! Oh – by the way. Give Stephen Baskerville a part on the back – his cover art on issue 253, 254 and 255 was out of this world. Fantastic! Why don't you let him do strip work?
Trevor Leckie,
Downpatrick,
Co. Down.

He will be, Hume – count on it! To your questions: 1) Can't say – anythin' can happen these days! 2) Good point, that. We'll have to see, won't we?! 3) No – it was just a story about the stupidity of war. 4) It stopped! But there's a Death's Head graphic novel in the pipeline – look out for it! 5) It's all I can say, Hume – unless anybody out there has any ideas ..?

Dear Dreadwind,
There have been quite a few mistakes lately – Triggerhappy was mistaken for Pointblank twice! And 'collected' was spelt with 3 L's. But now to my questions: 1) If Thunderwing got blasted into the sea by Siren and the others, why didn't he rust away? 2) When is Andy Wildman going to be put on the cover artwork again? 3) How'ya going lately? 4) Is there going to be a different story on some other Joes, except Snake Eyes, Quick-Kick and all those other dopes? This is the third time I've written, and if you don't answer (although I don't want to because you're one of my best troops) this letter, I'll have you court-martialled!
Yours, going-by-the-bookingly,
Galvatron,
London E1.

Oh, dear – another Hume with delusions of Transformerdom! I didn't know Galvatron had surfaced in London E1 – no wonder no-one can find him! To your highly-dubious questions: 1) 'Cos he's got a virtually indestructible shell. Well, pretty tough, anyway. 2) When he's not busy doin' the stories inside the covers! Speaking of Stubbie Wildman (Livid to his friends!), he's gonna be doin' some of the U.S. stories soon – interesting, wot?! 3) Fine, thanks! 4) Eventually! There's quite a complicated plot woven throughout the Borovian saga – bear with it ! In response to your threat, I can only say 'You an' whose army?'!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have written more times to Transformers than Megatron has got circuits (though he has not got any circuits left, due to being blown to pieces – good!), but now for something completely different: 1) Will Vroom or Crossblades appear in the best comic of the entire Universe? 2) Do any of the Transformers support football teams? 3) Were there any Transformers pop groups before the war began (like Dreadwind as the lead singer in the group The Rusty Buckets)?
C. Smith,
Kings Langley,
Herts.

Strange questions! Still: 1) Dunno – but they could be! I wish you Humes would stop asking who's gonna appear in the comic – I don't know what's going on in the over-fertile mind of Simon Furman – whoever he is! 2) Yeah – Cybertron United and Polyhex City – 'til they got relegated, of course. I don't think much of the Earth version, though. I thought the idea was to attack the ball! Know what I mean?! 3) I'm not gonna answer this one, 'cos I think you're extracting the Michael. So there!

To Mr. 'Wind and Mr. 'Test,
Hi. I am your local letter-to-letter salesman, telling you of new offers from our Alpha-Centuri workshop, available to all letter answerers. Do you ever get bored with your simple Variable Voltage Harness, which can only punish the Stubbie-kind in a virtually harmless way? Well – enclosed is a more up-to-date version of this 'toy' – the Multiple Intensive Stubbie Harmer (MISH), with which you can punish mistake-doers in any number of ways. It works quite like the VVH, so it is easy for you to use and has the same effect as watching 10 Terry Wogan shows in a row! To pay for this wondrous gift we sent you, just print this letter and it's yours. I hope you – and the Stubbies – receive many thrills form your new gift.
Mark Limerick,
Ascot,
Berks.
P.S. My name – translated into your language – means 'Alien with very good reputation and an ally of the Decepticons – especially their hopefully soon-to-be leader Dreadwind'.

Crawler! But I like that in a Hume. I've tried the MISH on a few choice Stubbies, and I think I'll stick to the VVH – thanks all the same! It looks nice on the mantlepiece, though ...

Dear Dreadwind (and the guy that's always on your back – joke!),
Transformers, do be doo. More than meets the eye, ahem. This magazine is the best, it's improved in leaps and bounds, I should know I've read it from issue 1. Why don't you let Emirate Xaaron take over the letters page? He could call it Worry Lines. Or how about Megatron? He could call it what he likes – I wouldn't argue! I've included a list of my Transformers collection, I have 116 individual robots, and my collection is worth £650! Can anyone beat that? To the important stuff: In the Aspects Of Evil stories, Rodimus Prime mentioned that Galvatron hadn't been forced back in time. This means that Death's Head was never employed to kill Galvatron, he never met Unicron, he wasn't transported forward in time to get his new costume, etc ... Does this mean the Death's Head saga never happened? It also means that Goldbug never existed, because Death's Head was the one that made the building of Goldbug happen. Oh, by the way – Galavtron is the mystery guest in the Perchance To Dream stories. Compare the last frame of part 1 with any picture of Galvatron's arm. So what time is P.T.D. set in? Bring back Visionaries permanently, Action Force is boring. Also, stop the reprints – I've already read the stories once. Now my questions: 1) If a Pretender robot gets killed, could any other Transformer use that robot's shell? 2) Can a Nebulan die of old age? If so, what would a Powermaster do? 3) When will Wildfly and the other Pretender monsters feature in the comic? 4) When will Transformers Universe II be on sale? 5) Why does Hi-Test's exo-suit always look like cloth long johns? 6) What's all this abut Transformers: The Movie II? 7) Where in the Universe can I buy the toy of Override?
Christopher Caudery,
RAF Halton,
Aylesbury,
Bucks.

Phew! Another minor epic-type letter! You're a bit mixed up on the Aspects Of Evil front, So I'll try to explain: In the particular A.O.E. story featuring said megalomaniacal Megatron-to-be, the story is set in an alternate reality, where none of the things you mentioned actually happened. It was also a neat way of getting Galvy back in the storyline! Following on from that, you are, of course, right about the mystery guest in Perchance To Dream, which is set now. Can't help you on the Visionaries, I'm afraid – there ain't any more material! To your questions (at last!): 1) No, the shells are tailor-made to fit and respond to the mental control of their particular owner. 2) Yes, they do die of old age – if they get that far! In which case, the Powermaster has to find another companion, or go back to Cybertron. The Powermasters were only formed because the Transformers on Nebulos couldn't use the native fuel sources. On Cybertron, no problem. 3) I keep tellin' you – wait and see! 4) No news on that at this point – sorry! 5) Why indeed? Guess he's just got funny tastes in clothes! 6) It was a joke! 7) He should still be available – somewhere! Anybody out there got any ideas?

Dear Hi-Test,
Please will you tell me the places that Transformers: The Movie II will be shown, and when? I also have some news – Micromasters Videos are on sale! Right – the questions: 1) Who is the strongest – Primus or Unicron? 2) Out of Metroplex, Trypticon, Scorponok, Fort Max, Megatron, Galvatron,Straxus, Magnus, Oppy or Rodimus Prime, who is the strongest? 3) Who's the oldest Decep? You better print this letter, 'cos it's the fifth time I've written in without getting one printed!
Yours Scrumptiously,
King of the Mecannibals.

GULP! Okay – you're in print, right? There seem to be a lot of Humes (and other lifeforms!) out there who seem to think there's a sequel to Transformers: The Movie, as far as I know, there isn't one – the letter concerning said sequel was just a joke – you remember jokes, right?! To your questions, Your Majesty: 1) They're pretty well matched. Primus is one of the Gods Of Light and Unicron is the last of the Dark Gods. So it's basically the struggle between good and evil. Who can say who's the strongest?! 2) Easy – Galvatron. 3) Hard to say, but Megatron's been around a long time!

Dear Dread Findings,
I've been a fan for ten years and still don't quit. I think you're brill (short for brilliant) and fab. As a fan, I would like to see more of you in the following Transformers comics. By the way – I've got some questions I'd like to ask you: 1) Between Thunderwing and Megatron, who's the toughest? 2) How many Pretenders are there altogether? 3) Where do the Mecannibals come from? 4) If you, Dreadwind, are a Nebulan, why do you hang around with Megatron, a Cybertronian? I know you'll answer these questions, 'cos you're great and by the way – say 'Hi!' to Hi-Test, Throttle and Darkwing, your pal! Please keep on publishing more Transformers comics.
Olufemi Adeyemo,
London SE17.

Bit difficult bein' a fan for ten years, Hume – Transformers has only been goin' for five-and-a-bit! You must have access to the Time-Jump equipment. To your questions: 1) Megatron. 2) Well – there's the original 12 Pretenders, 4 Pretender Beasts, the Mega Pretenders (3 of 'em), Ultra Pretenders (2 of), the newer Pretenders (6 of), and the Pretender Classics (4 of). That makes a total of 31! 3) Somewhere a very, long way away – I hope! 4) I am not a Nebulan! Me an' Darkwing are Cybertronians, who had the misfortune to land on that miserable planet an' nearly die, 'cos the native fuel sources were poisonous to us. Nebulans – what a cheek! Megatron gave us a job back on Cybertron – then we lost it. Pity.

Dear Dreadwind,
Although this is a letter about colouring, it's not a complaint, so at least hear me out before consigning it to the smelting pool. Now that all your British stories are in black and white, we rarely see the superior British colouring except on covers and reprint strips like Worlds Apart. The colouring in Worlds Apart, and the stories from the Transformers Annual, appear in beautiful solid panels; in your American imports it is reduced to widely spaced dots of red, blue, green and yellow. I don't know exactly how you print your comic, but it seems that the Americans stories are just enlarged versions of actual pages from theirs. Using bigger paper than the Americans just means that the gaps between the dots are even wider. Obviously, the American artists don't use dots to colour-in their artwork, which in it's original state probably looks as good as the British. So – why not print your comics – both Transformers and the G.I. JOE back-up strips – from original artwork!
Andrew Dornan,
Fareham,
Hants.

Good idea, Hume, but it's not that easy. Y'see, the Americans use a system of tones (as do the Brits), when printing their artwork. These tones are separated into percentages, to give the shades of colours, for example 100% red is solid red, 50% is a paler red, and 25% is a very pale red – see? Now – the Americans, for their own reasons, use tones with more gaps between the dots (as you say, Hume!), whereas the Brits use tones with smaller gaps, to give a finer finish to it. It's not a case of the American stuff bein' blown up – it's just the type of tone they use.

Dear Dreadwind,
Okay – you've been asking for constructive criticism, so here are a few ways you can improve the comic: 1) More stories like Demons or Primal Scream or Bird Of Prey, epics like they used to be. 2) Bring back the Survivors – they're the best characters since the Dinobots. 3) Don't do so many reprints – in America Matrix Quest is nearly over. We've barely begun! We're lagging behind because of the reprints. 4) Give us more information on the Transformers toys, videos, etc.. Recently, someone wrote in about Transformers: The Movie II. I'd certainly like to hear more about that!
Richard 'Don't call me Hume' Potter,
Cheltenham,
Glos.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll be most upset!

Okay, Hu – Sorry! Back to your questions: 1) There will be, Fleshling (!) – you can bet on it! 2) Not a bad idea – we've still got to tie up a few loose ends there. 3) We have to do a few reprints, 'cos the Americans are printing their stories at about the same time we are – we have to give them time to get ahead of us, so that we can get hold of the American stories in time for the British comic to go to print, see? 4) I'll try – but it ain't always easy to get hold of the information, y'know!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been collecting Transformers from issue 1, and I have 54 Transformers plus you – twice. But, although I like your comic, I do not like the three-story layout when one story is a reprint. Save the reprints for Collected Comics. Also, for Hi-Test, I have a few questions about his Nebulan companions, to settle an argument with my brother: 1) Who are the Nebulan companions of Siren, Nightbeat, Hosehead, Quickmix, Scoop, Landfill, Needlenose and Spinster. 2) When will the Pretender Monsters, Micromaster bases and stations, and Mega-Pretenders be appearing in the comic?
John Limerick,
Ascot,
Berks.

I'm sorry to hear that you don't like the format, Hume, and all I can say is TOUGH! Hah! Seriously, though, to your questions: 1) Right – in the order you wrote the Transformers, the Nebulan companions are: Quig, Muzzle, Lug (Headmasters), Ricochet & Boomer, Tracer & Holepunch, Silencer & Flintlock (Autbot Targetmasters), Sunbeam & Zigzag, Hairsplitter & Singe (Decepticon Targetmasters). 2) I keep tellin' you Humes – I DON'T KNOW! keep readin' the comic!

Dear Dreadwind,
I would like to know if Soundwave and Scorponok can ever die, and if Autobot City in Transformers: The Movie is Metroplex.
Neil McNaughton.

Hey, Hume – you forgot to write your address down! Better send me it if you want your toy. To your queries: Yes, they can die – but in the case of Scorponok, it'd take a lot of doin'! Soundwave's too devious to get caught. Metroplex forms the core of Autobot City: Earth, but he isn't actually the city itself. It's because of him that the city is able to transform. See?

Dear Hi-Test,
I love your comic. I get it every week. I thought that the poster was great. Please answer these questions: 1) On TV I saw the maker of Unicron, but in the comic you said that Unicron crashed into a meteorite and changed it into a living planet. 2) In issue 260, page 12, Wheeljack blasted Galvatron in the stomach, but he had a big smile on his face. Why?
Robin Levingstone,
Sandy Mount,
Dublin.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get Scorponok to sit on you!

HUH! I've been sat on by bigger ones than that, Hume! Still – to your questions: 1) The comic tells the true story, Hume – that's official! 2) 'Cos Galvatron is so powerful, and he didn't even feel it!

Dear Hi-Test,
In issue 260, a girl called Catherine Warne wanted to know who made Optimus Prime. Well – I know. It starts like this: No-one actually made Prime, he was rebuilt. You see, just before the Autobots and Decepticons went to war, there was a robot known as Orion Pax. He worked at a power plant. One day, Megatron and some of his cronies went to the power plant to steal some energy, but Orion wouldn't let him. So Megatron struck Orion, but he wasn't out. Orion's girlfriend, Aerial, went to do something, but Megatron shot her and she went down. Orion didn't like this, so he went to attack Megatron again, and he was shot and he went down. he was then taken to a hospital, where a robot called Alpha Trion rebuilt Orion's body. The new body was Optimus Prime, sot hat was how Prime was made. Oh yeah, one more thing – are Fortress Maximus and Metroplex both Autobot bases, one on Cybertron and the other on Earth?
Home Jiassemides,
London SW18.

There y'go, Hume – the whole thing in it's entirety! This should answer all those questions from you other Humes, too. I've never heard of this Alpha Trion character meself, but then who am I? To answer your question about Fort Max and Metroplex, no – well, yes they are both bases (Autobot ones), but no, they're not necessarily one Earthen and one Cybertronian. It just so happens that Forty is mobile and goes where he likes, whereas Metroplex is the actual living core of Autobot City: Earth, and is a bit more limited in his movements – so to speak!

Dear (I don't think) Dreadwind,
As you are the best Transformer (I have got almost 100), I decided to write a short story about you: Once upon a time, Dreadwind was attacked by Optimus Prime, Rodimus Prime and Fort Max. Dreadwind quickly got out his gun and blasted them to bits. The Autobot army was not too happy, so they all went to attack him. This was a bad idea, 'cos Dreadwind blasted them as well. The End.
Chris Allen,
Fleet,
Hampshire.

P.S. Hope you liked my story!
P.P.S. If you don't print this letter, I will get Swoop to do Dinosaur droppings on you!

UGH! What a revoltin' threat! I did like the story, Hume, but d'you realise it's put us all out of a job? That's it, isn't it? End of the Autobots, end of the War, no need for a comic... might as well pack up and go home. 'Bye! (Just kiddin').

Dear Hi-Test,
I started buying Transformers at issue 34, but at issue 194 I stopped (shame!). A few weeks ago, I saw Kup and Red Alert on the cover of 251 and decided to buy it – I'm glad I did! However, after I read it, I was a bit confused. how come Goldbug is Bumblebee again and what, in issue 252, did Optimus Prime mean when he said 'How many more Starscreams must come and go?'
Peter Riley,
Shrewsbury.
P.S. I think it's stupid when people write in thinking they are too old to read Transformers – I'm 13 and still read it!

I hate it too, Hume – nobody's too old to read Transformers! To answer your questions, Goldbug became Bumblebee when he returned as a Pretender Classic, and it was all explained in All The Familiar Faces which started back in issue 247 – but you weren't around then, were you?! Regarding Oppy's statement, he didn't mean lots of little Starscreams running about, he was talking about the futility of further struggle – how many more bad guys had to come along and how many more deaths there had to be before he (Oppy) realised. See?

To Dreadwind,
If you answer my questions, I might consider not feeding you to my dog: 1) Can Ultra Magnus be bought in the U.K.? 2) Will there be any more Ultra Pretenders? 3) Are there more Autobots than Decepticons? My dog awaits!
Alan Hughes,
Lerwick,
Shetland.

GULP! To your questions – quick! 1) I don't think so, he's been out of the toy range for a while now. You might be lucky, though – some one might want to swap with you. 2) No. 3) I can't answer that! I mean – who's ever counted them?! HELP!

Dear Dreadwind and Hi-Test,
I think you're really top guys, sorry 'cons, but before my questions, one must admit this happens to be my first letter to Dread Tidings and I've only been collecting Transformers comics since issue 240 and was so impressed by them I just had to invest in the Transformers Annual '90, not to mention Target: 2006 in Collected Comics 15, which was really brill. But now to my questions: 1) What does the leader of the Autobot resistance, Emirate Xaaron, transform into? 2) What are the six forms which Quickswitch is able to transform into? 3) Is it also true what I've heard, that that crazy, cowardly tyrant of a Decepticon called Starscream was always a sly, cunning nutcase, even when he controlled the Underbase?
Colin Harvey,
Moss Side,
Manchester.

Another new reader – nice to see! To your questions: 1) Nobody's seen Xaaron transform – the rumours are that he hasn't actually done it for millions of years, the shock would probably kill him! – but I s'pose it would be somethin' really wimpy – like a toaster! 2) Right – in order, they are: a laser gun, a plane, a hovercraft, a robot, a drill tank and a puma! Honestly – he changes modes more often than I change me oil! 3) Yup. In technical terms, he's a loon! A dangerous, cunning one!

Dear Dreadwind,
You're really starting to get up my afterburners! I've written to you at least a billion times and you haven't printed on letter. Right then – down to business. First of all, I'd like to tell you that I am Unicron. Any resistance and I fry you. To my questions: 1) What is a Combi-Micromaster? 2) When will the comic have three Transformers stories in it instead of two? Please give sensible answers to my questions. By the way – please say 'hello' to my friends Johnny and Iain.
Unicron,
Seabridge,
Staffs.
P.S. Are you suffering from a tense and nervous headache? no? You will be if you don't print this letter within two Earth weeks of receiving it!

I'm doomed! This won't see print for a month! ARGH! And another thing – what's all this about writing in a billion times? I've told you a million times – stop exaggerating (Old joke!)! To be serious for a moment, which isn't that easy when you're a natural wag like wot I am, to your questions: 1) A Combi-Micro is a Micromaster that combines with another Micromaster to form another bigger robot. That serious enough for you? 2) When Unicron starts writin' letters to a kids comic! I didn't think Unicron had any friends, but 'hello' to Johnny and Iain anyway.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think that it is a good idea to bring back the Classic Autobots, but now we have seen the Autobots, we are going to meet some Classic Decepticons, aren't we? I have some questions: 1) Will we be seeing more of long scale, multi-issue epics? 2) After this story from America, will we be getting more? I would like the people at Marvel to try and fit an art page into this comic. I've been collecting your comic from issue 62 and I think it's brill.
Lee Brown,
Kings Norton,
Birmingham.

Don't know if we'll be seein' Classic 'cons, Hume – but there are a few poppin' up now and again in the stories anyway. To your questions: 1) Of course you will! 2) See 1! Good idea for an art page – I'll have to take that into consideration.

Dear Dreadwind,
When I was taking my children to our local Toys R Us store recently, to buy the latest Micromasters, I spotted a sign outside a public house which said 'Jazz, Live here on Monday'. Could this be the Autobot Jazz, as I know he's been over here in England in the Man Of Iron story?
Arthur Mapes (a long-time reader, code name: Kup),
Ashford,
Middlesex.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I shall be forced to tell you my old war stories!

There's a novel threat! I could retaliate by tellin' you some of mine, I s'pose. Still – it gave me a good chuckle to think of Jazz appearin' in a pub!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a few questions I hope you can answer for me: 1) Do Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Prowl, Ratchet and Brawn die in 2006, or do they survive? 2) What happened to Runabout and Runamuck after their fight with Circuit Breaker in issue 94? 3) Will we ever see Raindance, Grandslam and Centurion in the comic again? 4) If Rodimus Prime was once Hot Rod, who was Optimus Prime originally? 5) When Ultra Magnus inherits the Creation Matrix, how come he doesn't change form or anything? 6) Finally, is issue 254 when Kup tears the Creation Matrix from Rodimus Prime, how is it that Prime doesn't change back to Hot Rod?
Yours thankfully for producting such a cool comic, black and white or colour, the biggest Transformers fan ever.

Well, whoever you are, to your questions: 1) They could get it anytime, not just in 2006 – know what I mean? 2) Basically, they crawled away to lick their wounds – for about 160 issues! They reappeared (briefly) in issue 255 as a flashback, and then last issue in the flesh. 3) Who knows? 4) He was still Optimus Prime. Just 'cos he got the Matrix doesn't mean he had to change form, y'know. Rodders was sort of forced to grow up when he came into possession of it. 5) He didn't have to. 6) 'Cos he wasn't separated from it for that long and anyway – the Matrix had taken over his mind.

Dear Dreadwind and ol' Hi-Trash,
I have written to you mainly because I want to ask questions and point out mistakes. First, the questions: 1) What type of Transformer is Arcee? 2) Who is Onslaught? 3) In Underworld, who is Subsea? 4) In the toy, Ratchet and Ironhide look different from in the comic. Why? And now for all those mistakes you leave lying all over the place: In issue 258 on the Dread Tidings page (horror of horrors!), we see Autobot symbols instead of Decepticon ones! Terrible, huh? Also, the AtoZ of ish 153. Scrapper's first appearance was not 84, but 36 instead. Then, in King 'Con, there are two part 3's (issue 234 & 235)! Oh yeah – I'm not going to threaten you, because you're so brilliant!
Michael Deacon,
Malleny,
Midlothian.

Thankyouverymuch! I like these non-violent letters. To answer your questions: 1) A female one, of course! 2) Onslaught is a Combaticon, and forms the core of Bruticus, one of the combined Special Teams. 3) A non-entity character who gets the chop! 4) Artistic Licence! To the mistakes: I'd like to know what those Autobot symbols were doin' all over my page, too! Needless to say, the VVH has been doin' overtime since your letter – and before that, for that matter! Just one small point, though – Scrapper's AtoZ was in issue 253, not 153 – two can play at that game, Hume!

Dear Hi-Test,
I have been collecting Transfomers since issue 1, and I've got to say there were only a few American stories which impressed me, but after reading Primal Scream I was amazed by the quality of the work. Simon Furman is at his best, and it's about time after the less than exciting stuff he's been coming up with lately! Geoff Senior's artwork works excellently against Nel Yomtov's colours. I hope the upcoming Matrix Quest is up to the same standard. If so, I can't wait! To close, all I can say is Transformers can only get better. 'Bye for now!
Stephen Flaherty,
St. Helens.
Merseyside.

Ta for the good vibes, Hume! Matrix Quest improves on Primal Scream – I've already had a sneak preview of it. As I've said before, we have to take a break from that mega-epic for a while, to give the Americans a change to get ahead with their stories. Hope you enjoy the Transformers/G.I. Joe crossover story in the meantime!

Dear Dreadwind,
I shall dispense with the usual threats to try and get my letter into print, because it must be boring for you to read all those stupid trivial jokes. I mean after all – how could anyone as brave and courageous as you be frightened of anything – grovel, grovel! Anyway – to my questions: 1) I know that most people have been complaining about the lack of colour in your fantastic comic, so why not put the Action Force story in black and white and for Pete's sake bring back the colour in the second story. After all, Action Force is only a back-up story. 2) I have three members of the Seacons and I have desperately tried to find the remaining members without any luck. None of the shops I have been to have got them, so could you tell me if Hasbro are releasing any more into the shops? 3) I read on your page that there is a Transformers The Movie II. Is this a lot of hot air or is there any trurth to the rumours? 'Til Galvatron turns Autobot, Make Mine Marvel!
Neil Humphries (aged 9),
written by Dad (aged 39).
P.S. The Mecannibals came round here the other day and asked me for your address – something to do with you standing them up for lunch, but you're alright – I told them I didn't know, so you owe me one, know what I mean 'arry? Sorry, I meant Dreadwind.

Phew! Thanks Hume. The least I can do is get you into print, right? So here we go: 1) Good idea, kid, but it don't work like that I'm afraid. 2) I doubt if Hasbro will be bringing out the Seacons, certainly not this year. Sorry! 3) You were right the first time – it is a lot of hot air!

Dear Dreadwind,
Top o' the mornin' to you, me old mechanoid! Greetings from Ireland. I am just writing to say a big 'thank you' for bringing back the Dinobots and SHockwave. I believe these are the best Transformers around, but just one thing: The Dinobots were created originally to battle Shockwave, but he beat them all by himself. So how can Grimlock win against him now? Is it because the Ark's damaged computers could not spare enough Energon for the Dinobots, so they were at low power? Please explain if I am right or wrong. by the way – bring back Ultra Magnus and the Predacons. Magnus and Prime are a good team, and the Predacons are just cool! So until Unicron buys a wig, Make Mine Marvel!
Stephen McCartney,
Newtownards,
County Down,
N. Irelan.

May the White Elephant of good fortune climb up your left nostril, Hume (Traditional Eastern greeting, so I'm told!)! Nice theory about the Dinos and Shockers, and also mostly true. The Dinos were revived in a bit of a rush, so weren't up to scratch when they faced Shockwave, who was functioning on full power. It's a bit different these days, 'cos the Dinos are back at full strength and anyway – they've picked up a few new tricks! Dunno when Magnus will be back, but the Predacons have made a couple of appearances already (issue 267 & this very issue).

Dear Dreadwind,
I think that Transformers has got to be the best comic ever printed, but I think you should get on better with Darkwing and then smash him up at the last moment and blame somebody else. I have an idea on how to get rid of the Mecannibals. All you have to do when you next meet up with them is feed them a very, very, very big bomb (preferably thermo-nuclear), scoot off behind the nearest moon, then detonate it. If you don't print this letter, I will come round to your place with a very big crushing machine and turn you and Darkwing into metal cubes no bigger than a coffee table!
Barnaby Clements,
Reading,
Berks.
P.S. Would you please tell Octopunch to smash up Prowl when he next sees him. Thanks a lot!

Dear Dreadwind,
I think that the Transformers comic is the best! I have been collecting it since the first issue. Please could you answer these questions: 1) Who is the leader of the Autobot Pretender Classics? 2) Is Jetfire dead? 3) Who is the leader of the Autobots on Cybertron? 4) Who are the Decepticons who make up Menasor? Make Mine Marvel!
Stephen Allen,
Co. Antrim,
N. Ireland.

That's how I like me letters – short and to the point! Here we go: 1) Grimlock, I s'pose – but it could be Bumblebee ... 2) Unfortunately, no. 3) Emirate Xaaron, of course! 4) Motormaster, Dead End, Breakdown, Dragstrip and Wildrider.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think you are the coolest Decepticon (apart from the rest of them), and I would like to ask you some questions: 1) Why did Rodimus Prime not change back into Hot Rod when the Creation Matrix was taken out of his chest in issue 254? 2) When will G.I. JOE be back in their own comic? 3) Can Primus transform into a robot like Unicron? If you don't print this letter, I'll get my four-year-old sister to come round and punch your shins in!
Robin Leach,
Sandy,
Beds.
P.S. Is it a coincidence that Primus looks like Rodimus Prime?

No, Hume – it isn't! And thereby hangs a tale, eh? To your questions: 1) I've told you lot the answer to that one before – but I'll tell you again, 'cos I'm such a nice guy: he wasn't separated from it for that long, and anyway – the battle was going on in his mind, which was sort of being controlled by Unicorn. See? 2) In September, hopefully. 3) Not that I know of, but then who am I?

Dear Hi-Test,
I'm writing to you, because Dread-Head never answers questions properly. I like the black and white strip – it lets us see the qualities of the artist alone. I see the price has risen to 45p How come? I do have two questions for you: 1) In the Annual, Silverbolt is still alive, yet he is in the Transformers strip Perchance To Dream. How come? 2) Also concerning Silverbolt, he is not a Transformers Classic toy, and he is in Perchance To Dream. Why and how?
Andrew Curran,
Hounslow,
Middlesex.

About the price rise: What can I say? Production costs have risen, and it's just one of those things. Sorry! To your questions: 1) Well, Inferno is a Classic Transformer, and he isn't in the Perchance To Dream stories. He's still running around. Silverbolt, however, was deactivated by Starscream in the Underbase saga, and was reactivated by Galvatron's bug in P.T.D. 2) No, Silverbolt isn't a Classic, but he is back in the shops as a Special Teams figure, and as the core of Superion.

Dear Purple Thing,
Sorry about the 'Purple Thing', but I'm used to writing to Decepticons. I make Transformers out of cardboard and they can transform. My favourite one was you but my Daddy sat on you! Please (or your dead) answer these questions: 1) Is there going to be a Decepticon Matrix? 2) Are there or were there Jumpstarters in the comic?
Mark Beatley,
Tallaght,
Dublin.
P.S. even though my daddy say on you, I'll get Fortress Maximus to sit on your head if you don't print this letter!

Huh! If I'm not gettin' sat on by Transformers, I'm gettin' sat on by pesky Humes! Anyway – to your questions: 1) No – there's only one Matrix, and the Autobots have got it. Well, they had it and lost it, but then ain't that typical? 2) What's all this about Jumpstarters then? Never heard of 'em!

Dear Dreadwind,
Yes! Go for it! I refer, of course, to your reply to the Death's Head letter in issue 258, specifically to the mention of a D.H. graphic novel. This is terrific! If it is true, Furman and Senior simply must work on it – the chemistry between them has reached new and exciting heights (I have already read Primal Scream and Bird of Prey in full in the U.S. editions). Plus, they originated D.H. and know how to handle him best. Besides, I was disappointed with the fact that the Death's Head monthly only stretched to 10 issues. Such a great character now deserves to be gone to won on, and the proposed graphic novel provides the ideal opportunity for this to happen. It would be nice if the novel was published in hardback, like D.C.'s Arkham Asylum, but seems unlikely. Also, with the return of Galvatron as the 'watcher' in the Perchance To Dream stories (sorry guys – you have too much away at once!), the novel may see D.H. meet the Decepticon leader for the last time and finally complete his 'most wanted' hit. However, all things considered, Galvatron will shoot first, and Death's Head is a character to be proud of, not to be killed off.
Matt Packer,
Farnham,
Surrey.
P.S. If you can plush up the courage, Dreadwind, go ask Grimlock if he remembers some kid from his issue 147 letters page, with a crackpot theory on how Unicron was created. He maintains to this day that the comic was wrong and he was right, yes?

No comment, but since the origin of Unicron has been in print a couple of times ... I leave it up to you! The Death's Head graphic novel is proceeding well – I've seen some of the artwork, and it looks pretty good to me. Geoff Senior is doin' it, (along with Mister Hyperactive-Imagination-Furman), and it's up to the best standards – believe me! I hear vague mutterings that it's also gonna be serialised in Strip, at about the same time as the graphic novel comes out. I'll keep ya informed!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have two questions to ask you – here comes the first: I have a Targetmaster and I have forgotten his name. His gun's name is Peace Maker. Could you tell me his na,e? The second question is: Are Hi-Test and Throttle Autobots or Decepticons, and which Powermasters do they belong to?
David McManus,
Rathbran,
Co. Louth,

This one should be easy! The Targetmaster in question is Pointblank, and Hi-Test and Throttle are 'cons – I should know, 'cos Hi-Test has the honour of bein' my Powermaster companion. Throttle is Darkwing's.

Dear Hi-Test,
I write this letter to congratulate you and Dreadwind on your comic – IT'S THE BEST EVER!!!! I used to collect Ghostbusters, but now yours truly is at the top of my list. Although your comic is the best in the world, I cannot sing your praises throughout this letter so, in true Transformers fan style, I also have some questions: 1) Could you by any chance ask Dan Reed why he drew the Autobot Pretenders' hands with only three fingers (remember the 1990 Annual story Chain Gang)? Also, in the 1989 Annual, Robin Smith drew Optimus Prime (in the story Prime Bomb) with only three fingers. Looks like some VVH-ing is in order! 2) Could you print when each Collected Comics appears in the shops, as I am trying to collect Target: 2006. If you could, I would be very grateful. 3) What are the chances of my letter being printed? 4) Recently, my brother bought Stranglehold from the shops and, on the back of his packaging, there is a picture of the said Decepticon Pretender. Above and below the picture are the words 'Stranglehold' except, below the picture, it clearly says – wait for it – 'STRANGEHOLD'! I don't think Stranglehold will be too overjoyed at this. VVH time again? 5) What's happened to Stubbie Sullivan? Speaking of Stubbies, give Senior, Furman and Wildman a pat on the back will you? So, until Transformers stops, Make Mine Marvel!
Craig Phillips,
Sawtry,
Huntingdon.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get Dreadwind to VVH you!

Not if I take the fuse out! You should see his electricity bill – shocking! But enough of this hilarity, to your questions: 1) What - you expect the Stubbies to be able to count AND draw?! 2) We usually do give you advance warning, Hume. Collected Comics 16 was out last month – hope you didn't miss it! 3) Pretty good, wouldn't you say? 4) Oops! Could be! 5) Stubbie Sullivan is busy working on Robocop for the Americans. Oh, and by the way – consider Stubbies Senior, Furman and Wildman well and truly patted!

Dear Dreadwind,
I'd like you to apologise to all the readers that wrote in about a Transformers: The Movie II, as you will see on the piece of paper I have sent you. Anyway, to the questions: 1) When will the other Mega-Pretenders (besides old Thunderwing) be in the comic? 2) I don't mind the black and white strip, but will it ever be in colour? 3) Will Geoff Senior and Simon Furman ever be coming back to Britain in the near future? I think that the two Petes' artwork is great. By the way, my sister thinks Hi-Test is cute.
Yours, knowing that you'll print this letter,
John McLoughlin,
Clondalkin,
Dublin.
P.S. Will Dragon's Claws ever be back?

Okay, Smartie-pants – to your original point about Transformers: The Movie II, all I can say is HAH! The 'piece of paper' you refer to is a pricelist of COMICS for sale. Now – Transformers: The Movie, the original, was done as a four issue limited series by Marvel Comics. The Transformers: The Movie II mentioned is, in fact, the second of the comics in the series – SO THERE! To answer your questions: 1) Once again the age-old cry goes out: I DUNNO! I assume you mean Crossblades and Broom – it confuses me, wot with all these Ultra-Mega-Monster-Classic Pretenders wanderin' about – but if they appear, you'll be the first to know. O.K.? 2) Maybe in a special or a Collected Comics, but that ain't a promise! 3) They haven't been anywhere – they're still here. If you mean are they going to be working on the Brit Transformers again, they could well be at some point in the future. Who knows? No news on Dragon's Claws at the moment, however.

Dear Dreadwind,
Brilliant! That's all I can say about issue 265. Readers are now probably wondering why I think this is such a special issue, as they probably think issue 220 deserves the title 'brilliant'. The reason I think it is amazing is that I have been out of the Transformers scene for about a year now, and quite honestly I think I left when it was in a pretty bad state. The main story was boring, the second Transformers story was black and white and the brilliant Action Force had been replaced by average Visionaries. I was a long-time reader (who started year ago with issue 31) who had been disappointed. Now? Well, I've realised that the lack of colour in the second Transformers story can be made up for by the brilliance of the script. A.F. is back (a story which often excells the Transformers one), and the main story is exciting again. So thank you, and please forgive me for my lack of trust. M.M.M.!
Nicholas Beech,
Cotham,
Bristol.
P.S. How may I obtain back issues?

You're forgiven, Hume – but don't do it again!

Dear Mr. Wind,
Further to your fascinating publication on One Hundred And One Things To Do With A Nebulan (it may be of interest to note, has been followed by a companion volume entitled A Thousand And Two Things To Do With An Overly Obnoxious Robot – naming no names!), it occurred to me how versatile a Nebulan really is. I am, of course, referring to the small plastic one that accompanies many model Transformers – or, if you're very lucky, it has been known to get two with one robot toy! The life of a Nebulan is truly amazing. After being used as various heads, guns or engines, it is not uncommon to see them graduate to the more demanding task of getting sucked up the vacuum cleaner. This involves being hidden under the sofa for a month or, failing this, at least one week between the skirting board and the shagpile carpet. Some intrepid explorers have been known to go to the far reaches of the sandpit, or the depths of the pond at the end of the garden. And where every Nebulan dreams of being the first to conquer – the gutter in the street opposite our school! A few have even gone up in the world, but this depends entirely on how far you throw them, or if they get to appear in a Transformers commercial. I am the owner of one such creation, and can personally attest to their amazing adaptability. In three short years he has been a rifle, and examination mascot, a Christmas tree decoration, an ornament, and is now a full-time key ring. He likes his current work, but admits that it chains him down a little. His hobbies include dust collection, and hiding from me whenever I need my keys!
Pamela Smith,
and me, 'Sparks' Firebolt!
P.S. Please could you tell us why Galvatron (cover of 260) is playing with Starscream's toys (Collected Comics 11)?

Can you say 'shagpile' in a kids comic...?

Dear Dreadwind,
I am the sister of a great fan of yours, and I must admit I look forward to every new issue just as much as he does! Most girls around here prefer Barbie and Sindy, but they're the pits! I was going through my brother's Transformers toy box when I found the toy of you with the wings stuck. I asked my brother to fix it, but the wing snapped straight off. I think you'd better neutralise him, don't you? Right – down to some questions: 1) Who is the pilot of the Ark? 2) Will Jeff Anderson be drawing for the Americans? 3) Who is your best friend, apart from yourself and your gun? I have read all the comics since issue 28 and all I can say is that Transformers is brill!
Hannah Gilyeat,
Bicester,
Oxon.

I'll pull his wings off – what a flamin' cheek! To answer your questions: 1) That's classified, but I've got a feelin' there isn't just one pilot, it works on a rota system. 2) Well – don't tell anyone, but there's a rumour goin' round that he may well be ... Mum's the word! 3) There ain't nobody else, sister!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have some good news for Fortress Maximum fans – HE'S AVAILABLE IN BRITAIN! Yes, it's true – I saw him in a toyshop in Yorkshire. The problem is, he looks rather expensive, and I doubt you'll get him into your bedroom! Well, all I have to say now is 'please print my letter', because I know the Mecannibals!
Leslie Hall,
High Wycombe.
P.S. Send Darkwing to get recycled!

Well, there you go, Humes – it's everybody up to Yorkshire!

Dear Dreadwind,
Back in issue 265, Christopher Caudrey told you that he had 116 individual robots. Well – I have 200 Transformers (not including Nebulans), worth over £1000. Can anyone beat that? You can get Override from Toys R Us shops. In the same issue, I noticed a mistake. On the AtoZ, Shockwave's first appearance was Transformers 8. But, in my Transformers AtoZ book, his first appearance was Transformers 4. Which is correct? Please could you answer my questions: 1) If you were Decepticon leader, what would your plans be? 2) If you had a chance to conquer one country on Earth, which would it be? 3) Are you older or younger than Darkwing? Where can I get Wheelie, as he is one of my favourite Transformers – hint, hint!
David Futers,
Blaydon,
Tyne and Wear.

And he put a list of his Transformers in too – just to prove it! To your question about Shockwave's AtoZ appearance, they're both right! Y'see, issue 4 was the first appearance of ol' Shockers in the American continuity, and issue 8 was his first showing in the Brit strip. To your other questions: 1) Well – first off, I'd quit this pathetic mudball, go back to Cybertron and take over Maccadam's Old Oil House! After that, I wouldn't be too bothered about bein' leader – know what I mean? 2) Easy – Dallas, Texas. That's where they've got all the oil! 3) Dunno – I'll have to cut his head off and count the rings! I think you're out of luck with Wheelie, though – sorry!

Hi there, Windy old pal,
It's me, your old mate from Cybertron, Bonjax Taaachner. Since we last met, I started to collect the marvellous mag that follows our race's exploits. I've been buying, stealing and begging for it (well, not quite) since issue 1. I always did wonder what happened to Megatron and the others when they left Cybertron all those millions of years ago ... Anyway, I've a few questions for you (the numbers are in Cybertronian): 1) "Vox" – When will the next Collected Comics be coming out? "Hoyt" – Where can I get it, 'cos the newsagent in Polyhex doesn't stock it. "Poyt" – What was the issue number of the last Action Force monthly, and will it ever come back (it was fab!)? "Bloto" – You never did tell me you real name, what was it? "Iggy" – In Bird of Prey, Miss Fatale is the same size as the Autobots ... She must be pretty big for a Hume. Why? "Gwert" – Will I be in the comic? Well, that's it for now. See ya later!
Bonjax Taaachner; Decepticon.
P.S. Call me Hume and I'll come round and beat you up!
P.P.S. Give Hi-Test a kick from me!
P.P.P.S. Are they gonna resurrect any more of those damn Autobots?

I don't know no Bonjaxx Taaachner – you must be making it up! Still – I've heard worse. To answer your questions: "Vox – Well, we've already mentioned Collected Comics 16 (see page 2!), and there are vague rumblings about number 17 goin' round the Marvel offices even as we speak. Wait and see! "Hoyt" – Try a few Earthen newsagents (like W.H. Smiths, for example)! "Poyt" – Number 15, and nobody knows when it'll be back – again, wait and see. "Bloto" – No I didn't did I? "Iggy" – There ain't no rule that says all Humes have to be the same size, is there? "Gwert" – What do you think?! Consider Hi-Test well and truly kicked, and I sincerely hope that they aren't gonna resurrect any more of those Autobots!

Dear Dreadwind,
For a few years now I have been an avid follower of the Transformers' story. I have been collecting Decepticons for just over two years and now have 29 members of my elite force (you may be pleased to hear that you were one of my first recruits). Because of my collection, I have been branded a little eccentric, because I am 18 years old. Personally, I think that the Transformers comics videos and collectable models are all fantastic. I have only one complaint to put to my fellow readers: Why do so many people have to point out any mistakes in such a brilliant comic? Anyway, thank you, Transformers, for two years of great collecting, and good luck with future issues. And Dreadwind, good luck with future battles with those squeamish Autobots!
B. Andrews,
Rayleigh,
Essex.

What a nice letter! It makes me think there is some hope for your miserable species – and don't worry about being called eccentric – I've had 45 year-olds writin' in!

Dear Dread Tidings,
I've been a fan of your comic since issue 1, and I think it's better now than it ever was before. On to the questions (there's a lot of 'em!): 1) In issue 266, you said that out of Metroplex, Trypticon, Skorponok, Fort Max, Megatron, Galvatron, Ultra Magnus, Op Prime and Rodimus Prime, Galvatron was the strongest. But in issue 200, you said that Oppy was the stronger. Apart from those two, wouldn't Metroplex's sheer size make him stronger than either? 2) Please could you get rid of Action Force as the back-up strip and bring back, maybe, Machine Man, or Iron Man, or the Inhumanoids, or the Fantastic Four perhaps? 3) How about re-running the old Collected Comics (e.g. Collected Comics 4, The Man Of Iron, since it's practically the only one I haven't got!), as I'm sure the present readers haven't all been around that long, or wouldn't mind seeing the stories again if they didn't keep the comics. 4) Is this the same Prime? In issue 263, we see him as small as Grimlock and unable to subdue ol' Lockjaw in a fight! Is this the same robot that in issue 32 was twice as big as Grimlock, and the latter couldn't pry off Op's fingers from his arm without help?! 5) Why did Op Prime give Grimlock charge of the Earth in his absence? Surely he'd know that Grimmy would just chase around after the Decepticons and blow things up? Maybe he should have put Prowl in charge, or even Jetfire (although Jetfire didn't do so well in Time Wars!). 6) Is 'Auntie' in the Ark still operational? 7) How ere the Decepticons able to so easily enter the Ark in issue 242? Hasn't the Ark got automatic defence systems? 8) What's been happening to Omega Supreme, Hound and Sky Lynx? We haven't heard from them for a while. Sorry to be so critical but, still, until Sunstreaker starts going in for mud baths, Make Mine Marvel!
Lance Geiles,
Bromley,
Kent.
P.S. What about another Rat Chat, or prowl on the letters page?!
P.P.S. Could you please bring back Sideswipe, as he is my favourite Transformer, bar the old Optimus Prime!

Autobot lover! To your myriads of questions: 1) What I meant, Hume, was that Galvatron and Oppy are pretty well matched. As for Metroplex, size ain't everything! 2) No. 3) See 2! 4) Well, ol' Prime is gettin' on a bit ... 5) Grimlock has improved recently, y'know. I must admit I'm startin' to feel a grudgin' respect for the rust bucket – or is it sympathy? 6) I doubt it. 7) It wasn't that easy! It was also a surprise attack – the defences weren't even operational. What d'ya expect from a buncha meathead Autobots? 8) They're all out there somewhere!

Dear Dreadwind,
Hooray! Wayhey! Yippie! After nearly 150 issues, you've got some decent down-to-earth stories! I am, of course, referring to the recent barrage of Classic Transformers epics. Is Prowl cool, or what? I reckon a 13 Megaton fusion device should accidentally head ol' Oppy Prime's way, so Prowl can take over as Autobot leader. I don't care what anyone says, I love the black and white format – it looks more detailed and mature. I can't stand this 6-or-so page story idea, as a long detailed story is impossible and writers are tempted to write 6 page one-shots which aren't very good. Sorry to moan an' all that, but you ought to print this as it's my fourth letter and I have never threatened you!! Gotta go now – my mate Metroplex has just come round!
Chris Belton,
Wollaton,
Nottingham.

Now there's a roundabout threat for you! But another plus for the black and white format!

Dear Dreadwind,
I hope you answer this question because it's been bugging me (just like the Micromasters). In case you do not answer the question, I will let my three-year-old brother loose to deal with you. Anyway, to the question at hand: on page two (the Transformation page), it has got written 'Air Raid on his way to relieve Wheeljack on guard duty'. But, if you turn to page 10, we see the Autobot say 'What's next? Kill the Autobots in the Shuttle? Well, the plan's changed – SKYDIVE's on your trail, 'con!' Which Autobot is it?
Ian Deacon,
Tamworth,
Staffs.
P.S. Can you say 'hello' to my three-year-old brother, Christopher, or I will not be able to hold him back from your knee caps much longer!

YUK! Well, I've looked back through that particular story and it is, in fact, Skydive. VVH anybody? Oh, yeah – hello, Christopher!

Dear Hi-Test,
Please get rid of Dreadwind! He's had the letters page as long as Soundwave – nearly 100 issues. If he won't leave, you could go on hunger strike! Something else your comic could do without is the AtoZ. It was started as a replacement for the Transformers Universe so – now that the Universe has been published – you don't need it anymore. There should still be fact files every issue, but preferably of Transformers that aren't in the Universe. Volume 1 missed out quite a few characters, namely Reflector, Roadbuster, Whirl, the Deluxe Insecticons, the Omnibots and the Powerdashers. It would also be better if you didn't print profiles on toys that are available over here, because we can find out about those from their tech-specs. How about Fortress Maximus, Repugnus, Finback, Splashdown, etc.? Then there are Transformers unique to the comic, like Primus and Straxus. If you don't like any of these, how about profiles of individual Nebulans (such as yourself!) or Micromaster team members?
Andrew Dornan,
Fareham,
Hants.
P.S. Who's the patron saint of mistakes? St. Ubbies, of course!

Good one, Hume! Made me chuckle, that did. To your points about the AtoZ, the published volume missed out quite a few Transformers (e.g. Inferno, Pipes) that appeared in the original four-issue version that we're running at the moment. When that's finished, we'll be doing a lot of the newer Transformers, e.g. the Headmasters, Powermasters, Targetmasters, Seacons, that have appeared since then. Another point – I bet there're a lotta Humes out there that can't get hold of the toys to read their tech-specs – so the comic's the next best thing!

Dear Hi-Test,
I think you should run this page, not bucket-brain Dreadhead! I have been collecting this comic since issue 103. I have a few questions: 1) In issue 260, you said that Inferno wasn't a Classic because he didn't die. But he did die back in issue 149. 2) How come Jazz was on the cover of issue 260 but wasn't in the story and didn't have a dream?
Jack Robinson,
Cranleigh,
Surrey.

Well, Hume, it's nice to feel wanted! To answer your questions: 1) Okay – Inferno did die way back in issue 149, but that was in the future. He's still alive now. And who's to say that the future hasn't been changed by the Time Wars? 2) Artistic licence – he is a Classic Hero, though (and before you all start writing in, I know Silverbolt isn't technically a Classic Hero, but he was in the story...).

To that daredevil, son-of-a-gun Dreadwind,
Firstly, I would like to point out that I am the biggest Decepticon fan ever, but now to my questions (I'm sure that someone of your superior intelligence can answer): 1) In ish 270, Bad Guys Ball shows Long Haul with a drink in his hand, but how can he eat or drink when he has no mouth? 2) Have you ever considered gently persuading the Stubbies to put you in a story by using the VVH? If not, how about putting you in the little box on the front cover instead of Prime? we see enough of his mush! 3) Talking of Optimus Prime, I was reading ish 269 and they said he had been assassinated, but how can this be since the issue before that he had ordered Bumblebee to check out a certain Power Station? Before I sign off, I would like to point out that way back in issue 261 (the Brit story), there were a few words missing. Just one more thing – why use the VVH on the Stubbies? Using your fist is a lot more fun! So, 'til Galvatron is replaced by a certain great Decepticon (no names!), Make Mine Marvel!
Roy Hughes,
Ballyvolane,
Co. Cork.
P.S. I'm not going to threaten you, because I think you get too many violent letters.

That's what I like – a nice crawly letter! Right – the questions: 1) He manages, Hume! 2) I've often considered it, and I like the idea about be bein' on the cover... I'll have to have a word with the Stubbies about that one. 3) Well, obviously enough, Oppy must've been assassinated between him giving the order to Bumblebee and the enxt issue. seems obvious to me, anyway! I don't know what you mean about missings words in issue 261, 'cos I haven't got any copies of that one – enlighten me, someone!

Dear Dreadwind,
Listen, Diode-Breath – this is the fourth time I've written to the letters page so print this or I'll set our two Rottweillers on you! Threats over, now for the questions: 1) Why can't the Constructicons combine any-more? 2) Why isn't Inferno in the Transformers Universe? 3) Is Flattop the Micromaster or the transport? 4) In the Transformers Universe, in Trypticon's description, his scout Wipe-Out isn't mentioned. 5) Are Soundwave and the Combaticons on sale, 'cos they are my favourite Decepticons.
Trevor Mallery,
Sidcup,
Kent.

That's some threat, Hume! Without further ado, bedobedo, to your questions: 1) That's yet to be explained – bear with us! 2) Probably because there wasn't room for 'im. 3) As far as I can make out, Flattop is the Micromaster. I think. 4) Aww – Diddums! 5) I doubt it.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have just read issue 260, and I though it was awesome to say the least. But it did bring some thoughts to my mind, such as: What was Galvatron doing there? I know when the space/time rift closed it repaired itself and Galvatron was brought back to life, but why should he say 'a different Galvatron, I think'? Is this the same Galvatron or a fake one? There're a couple of questions I'd like to ask: 1) Will Cyclonus and Scourge be back? 2) Will we ever see a battle between Ultra Magnus and Shockwave? 3) Will another Super Hero ever appear in the comic? Perhaps someone like Thor or the Hulk? Or even the Fantastic Four? 4) Who is the greatest Transformer ever? 5) Why will I laugh at the answer to that last question? Well, I'd best go now, 'cos there's a certain Nebulan banging at my door for not writing to him. Any idea on how I can get rid of him?
James Gale,
Pollok,
Glasgow.
P.S. Note how I didn't make a single threat in the entire letter?
P.P.S. So you'd better print it, or I'll let the Mecannibals know of your presence!

Ya hadda go 'n' spoil it, didn't ya Hume?! Just when I thought I'd got away with it, too. Still – to your questions, starting with the confusion over Galvatron. Y'see, Galvatron was torn apart by the space/time rift – he wasn't brought back to life. That leaves the question of who is this Galvatron? And thereby hangs a tale (a hint – Aspects Of Evil 2, issue 224)! To your other questions: 1) I'll have ta bring 'em back just to get a bit of peace 'n' quiet! 2) Who knows? 3) Possibly (don't ya just love these positive answers!). 4) Ya have to ask? 5) Why indeed?! To get rid of irritating Nebulans, do what I do – step on him!

Dear Dreadwind,
I started reading Transformers when they merged (or binary bonded) with Action Force, and have been reading it ever since. Now to my questions: 1) When will the Autobot sixchanger Quickswitch appear in another of your classic stories (all Transformers stories are classics)? 2) How can Jazz be a Pretender Classic as well as a Classic Hero (he's not as good as you)? 3) Where can I get Collected Comics 1-6? 4) Who answered the letters before Grimlock and your wonderful self? Also, in issue 255, Mark McNaughton said that the Autobots have a musical fan. Well a group called Faith No More mention Transformers in their song, We Care A lot. I wonder if there are any other songs? Anyway – until the Decepticons defeat the Autobots, Make Mine any comic from Marvel!
Nick Alderman,
Coulsdon,
Surrey.
P.S. I won't threaten you to print my letter, as I have always sided with the Decepticons. But, as Galvatron is a good friend of mine, I know you will. 'Nuff Said?

Get your point, Hume! To your questions: 1) When Simon Furman gets round to putting him in! 2) He's just too bad – if you know what I mean. 3) Try the back issues department here at good ol' Marvel Comics. 4) Soundwave.

Dear Metal Mouth,
AAAARGH!! What have you done? The other day me and my Mum went shopping, and while we were engaged in this act I discovered a copy of the latest Collected Comics. "Great!" I thought, "The next three episodes of Target: 2006!". But when I opened the magazine, to my horror I found Wrecking Havoc and Dry Run – two stories I already have. So what in the name of Primus happened to Target: 2006? Has your back-issue computer malfunctioned and printed out the wrong stuff? Also, if we go back to our favourite weekly magazine, in a recent story, the Battlechargers Runabout and Runamuck were on Shockwave's side, but after that we saw them on Megatron's force. Most of the time we see Soundwave with Megatron, but in Fallen Star and Matrix Quest he's with the ranks of Scorponok's troops. Would you please, please, please tell me who's on who's side, before my neuro-circuits overload with confusion!
John Crewdson,
Bradford,
West Yorks.
P.S. A word of warning – watch your step. In all the stories set in the future, we haven't seen anything of our favourite 'con, Dreadwind. The only assumption I can make is that you've popped your cloggs, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?

Too right, Hume! Mind you, there's enough goin' on in this time to keep my busy. If you were around for issue 276, you would've seen the apology (it wasn't our fault!) for Collected Comics 16. If you weren't, here it is again: The entire issue's worth of finished film went missing on its way to the printer. So we had no choice but to repting Wrecking Havoc and Dry Run. Sorry again, and be warned – your tortoise may get where it's going courtesy of a certain delivery service, but you can forget anything else! As to who's on who's side in the Decepticon ranks, it should all be pretty clear now, after Internal Affairs (issue 277), yes? Since Megatron and Shockwave got the boot, it's all one big, happy family now – Ha, ha!

Dear Dreadwind!
What has happened to The Punisher? I have heard (from certain ruthless barons) that it is Marvel's best-selling comic. Is this true? I started collecting it from issue 5 and since then I have bought it on and off, as I had difficulty finding it most of the time, and never got round to ordering it with my newspaper. The last issue I managed to find was number 30, but now I cannot find one anywhere! You cannot do this to me! By the way – I heard that in issue 256, Mark Hallard from Stockport talked about a Movie II. Well, I have seen a Transformers Movie entitled The Five Faces Of Darkness, and it seems to follow on from the first one. It has the Quintessons, and starts off by showing Unicron's head in Cybertron's orbit. The whole thing lasted over two and a half hours. Has anybody else seen this? It was on SKY television quite a while ago.
Robert McDonald (a true five-year-long Transformers fan!)
Bexhill-on-Sea,
East Sussex.
P.S. How long does an artist get to draw one week's story?

He gets two weeks (pencils and inks), Hume – and no more! It's not surprising that you can't find any Punisher issues after ish 30 – there aren't any! And what are you doing talkin' about him, anyway? This is Transformers!! I haven't heard of this Five Faces Of Darkness – anybody out there got any comments?

Dear Dreadwind,
Thank you for Perchance to Dream – bringing back the oldies is a brilliant idea, but if Jazz and Inferno are Classics too, are they going to change from their other teams? I also have several other questions: 1) I recently bought issue 338 of the Fantastic Four, and it also featured a certain freelance peace-keeping agent. Know who I mean, yes? Is there any chance of him returning to your comic? 2) If Unicron's back 16 years before he ever turned up, won't this change the future drastically? 3) In issue 260, Galvatron said it was a different Galvatron in Time Wars. Was he from an alternative future?
Richard Potter,
Cheltenham.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get Unicron to batter you to death with a Hyper-Whale!

Ooo – nasty! To your questions starting with the Jazz/Inferno confusion. Y'see, just 'cos they're members of several different teams doesn't mean they have to give any of 'em up – it just keeps them twice as busy! To your other questions: 1) Who knows? Anything can happen in the Transformers Universe (and I don't mean the AtoZ)! 2) I dunno – I give up on this 'he's from the future and he's come back to now, the present, and then somebody else ends up in Limbo which isn't any time at all, and then someone else jumps into the future accompanied by three wet kippers and a copy of the Good Food Guide'! Your guess is as good as mine! 3) You're getting warm!

Dear Dreadwind,
I've already written a letter to you, and if you don't print this I will set Unicron's big brother on you because he owes me a favour after saving him from the Mecanibles (I'm not sure how you spell that word). Now answer these questions or else: 1) My brother says that you can buy Unicron in the shops. Tell me if it's hot air or not. 2) Why don't you do back issues, because I think a lot of people would buy them? Keep up the great work, and I hope it lasts until your last issue!
Carlo Caruso,
Herne Bay,
Kent.

Whenever that may be! For future reference, it's Mecarnibler – no, that's not it – um...Mercannibleirs...Mec – oh, it's somethin' like that! To your questions: 1) It is, in fact, a load of exhaust gases! You can't get Unicron as a toy – yet. 2) Sorry, we don't any more.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have some questions to ask you: 1) When will the Decepticon Micromaster Military Patrol be appearing in the comic? 2) When will the Pretender Monsters appear in the comic? 3) It says on Blitzwing's box that he is the land and air commander, but on Starscream's box it says he is the aerospace commander. Who is the air commander then? 4) In issue 248, Starscream is as big as his shell, yet in the toy he is only half the size! How has he suddenly grown? I hope you can answer my questions, and in return I will answer one of yours! In issue 272, a boy wrote in and asked when the Jumpstarters were in the comic. Well, I have the answer! They first appeared in issue 82, and their names were Topspin and Twintwist. They were part of the team known as the Wreckers. But Topspin met his fate when Megatron blew his head off in issue 202. Ha! Got you there, Dreadwind! By the way, I think the Transformers comic is the best in the world!
Philip Nelson,
Cambridge.
P.S. If you don't pint this letter, I'll hire Death's Head to kidnap Throttle and Hi-Test and then force you back to Nebulos with your 'pal' Darkwing!

That's a very convoluted threat, Hume! I like the bit about kidnapping Throttle and Hi-Test, though. Still – to answer your questions (I'm only doin' it 'cos you answered mine!): 1) Who knows? They're so small, they've probably been kickin' about in the background for ages now, and nobody's spotted 'em yet. 2) Who exactly are these Pretender Monsters? I've heard a lot about them lately. Somebody out there care to tell me? Don't worry, though – the moment I hear anythin' about 'em appearin' in the comic, you'll be the first to know, O.K.? 3) Technically speakin', Starscream is the big bad boss of the aerial 'cons – I should know, since I am one! 4) Maybe he shrank? It's the same as when Ravage and the other cassettes transform – they end up the same size as the bigger 'cons, yeah? Nice to hear about the Jumpstarters – I didn't realise you meant those Jumpstarters! Silly me!

Dear Dreadwind,
I am a new reader of Transformers, in fact I only started at issue 267. But the issues I have read so far are brilliant (so are you!). Now – on to some questions: 1) If Bombshell fired his cerebro-shell into the base of Tony Duranti's neck, how come on the X-ray it was near the top of his head? 2) What or who is Unicron? 3) What is Wheeljack's occupation? I would just like to end my letter by saying this comic is cool, because you run it!
John Clerkin,
Monaghan,
Co. Monaghan.

I like the way you say that, Hume! To answer your questions: 1) Bombshell's shells (play on words there!) can enter the body anywhere – they then travel to the appropriate spot in the brain via the bloodstream. 2) You haven't been around long, have you? Unicron first appeared in the Movie, as the ultimate Transformer – he could transform into a planet! Since then, it's come out that he is, in fact, the last of the Lords of Chaos, and would like nothing better than to wipe out the Transformers as a species, closely followed by the rest of the Universe – and he could do it too! His one true enemy is the Transformer Matrix, the life essence/energy – he hates it! 3) Wheeljack is a mechanical engineer and the designer of the Autobot Earthforce base. He can build anythin'!

Dear Dreadwind,
I am writing to you because I am a big fan of Transformers and I really enjoy your comics. I think you're the best Transformer ev er, but I don't like Hi-Test that much. I have some questions for you, please can you answer them: 1) Are the Classic Transformers Jazz, Prowl, Ironhide, Inferno, Wheeljack and Sunstreaker available in one big set? 2) Is the Powermaster Prime on video? 3) Are there any more Transformers competitions coming up? I read your comic every week, and I only started at issue 202.
Sanchez Kanadia,
Southall,
Middlesex.
P.S. Please print this letter – I know you will!

Oh, you do, do you?! Well – just this once! To your questions: 1) Not that I know of, but I dare say somebody in the Outer Hebrides will write in saying they've seen one! 2) Yes, but don't ask me which one! 3) Oh yes – lotsa them!

Dear Dreadwind,
This is the second time I've written to the comic. The first time was to that prehistoric pea-brain Grimlock. I'm one of those readers who have read the comic from the offset. The reason I write is, while reading issue 264, I was surprised to read that the Constructicons have lost the ability to combine and that the Decepticons were trying to rebuild Devastator as one super robot. The reason I ask is that I have the Constructicons and, of course, they combine. It would be a great pity to split the six up.
Jason Raybone,
Lanesfield,
Wolverhampton.
P.S. Make Mine Transformers!

Don't panic, Hume – all will be made clear in the fullness of time concernin' Devvy. And before I get drowned in great heaving masses of letters asking about the other Combiner teams, no they haven't got the same problem. They can all still combine.

Dear Dreadwind,
I have only recently started reading Transformers, as Action Force used to be my favourite. Now I can have both in one comic. Great! Transformers are really awesome! My favourite Transformers are the Astro Squad and Battle Squad. My questions are: 1) Who is Scorponok? 2) Who is the fastest flying jet Autobot? 3) Was Jazz second-in-command to Prime? 4) What does Shockwave transform into?
Ceri Taylor,
Ferndown,
Dorset.

Without further ado, Hume, to your questions: 1) Who is Scorponok? You certainly haven't been around long, have you?! He just so happens to be the one-time Earthbound Decepticon commander, and leader of the Decepticon Headmasters. He transforms into a somewhat large Scorpion and, when he's in a good mood, a battle station. 2) Jetfire – in a dive he can reach a speed of MACH 29 – that's 29 times the speed of sound! Handy if you're late home for your tea! 3) No. 4) Shockwave is one of the few Transformers that retains his Cybertronian size when transformed, and consequently he turns into a 35 foot long ray gun.

Dear Dreadwind,
This is the third time I've written to you, so please print my letter. First off, I'd like to congratulate Andy Wildman – his artwork is amazing! He is particularly good at drawing the Dinobots, the only Transformers I can't sketch. Y'see, my hobby is drawing Transformers cartoon strips, and I have a 1½-inch thick folder packed full of 'em! I always shade, colour and highlight them by hand, using pencils ... which brings me on to the next part of my letter. The American colouring. I totally agree with Andrew Dornan – whenever I read the U.S. strip, spots flash in front of my eyes for the rest of the day! Can't you get the Stubbies to drain the U.S. stories of colour and add it to the British strip instead? Finally, a couple of queries: 1) In issue 266, the 'King of the Mecannibals' asked who was the strongest out of Metroplex, Trypticon, etc etc ... You answered "Easy – Galvatron." Can Galvatron beat Metroplex?! 2) Also, in the same letter, I have the answer to '3)' – Soundwave.
Ben Panser,
Harpenden,
Herts.

We've already done the bit about American versus British colouring, and I couldn't be bothered to go through it again. As to issue 226, there ain't No 'King of the Mecannibrils' (I still have trouble with that word!) in there. So I stand by my original answer – and I should know what Galvatron's like – I've seen him in action! as to your '2)' I don't know what you're on about with '3)', which leaves me at 6's and 7's and I'll just have to take your word for it!

Dear Dreadwind,
I would advise you to answer these properly or I will get Metroplex to stand on you: 1) Would Death's Head die if he got shot in the head? 2) Is Unicron a true Transformer? 3) Is Arcee stronger than Bumblebee?
Martin McComb,
Belfast.

A threat! Haven't had one of them for ages! Could be a bit more original, though, Still – to your questions: 1) I would think anybody'd die if they got shot in the head! Mind you, there are a few characters about (no names, no pack drill – you never know who's listening) who, in the natural scheme of things, have heads in the usual place but, their brain modules are kept elsewhere. Quite handy, really! 2) Well – technically, he is a Transformer, 'cos he can transform. But, – here's the catch! – he doesn't belong to the race of Transformers. He's too busy at the moment tryin' to wipe them out! 3) I'm not getting' involved in this! However, they do say that the female of the species is the most deadly ..!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have just seen a new Transformer. 'So what?' I hear you say. The thing about it is that it's different, a third Optimus Prime. But it's not the normal trailer/cab robot, it's a Micromaster, with the trailer/cab transforming into two flying things. Please, please please (etc., etc., etc..) tell me what is going on! Until Unicron becomes a good guy, Make Mine Marvel!
Adam Cheshire,
Portsmouth,
Hants.
P.S. If you don't print this letter, I'll get this new Prime to blast ya!

Ya want ME to tell ya what's goin' on? Nobody tells me anythin'! This new Prime's obviously from a parallel dimension, who popped through into our time/space when the rift was busy doin' it's thing in the Time Wars. Well, it sounds good, anyway! Either that or he's a new, energy-conscious version!

Dear Dreadwind,
Being a cool, stylish Transformer, I know you will print this letter (or else!). I have a few questions to ask: 1) Was or will Shockwave be brought out as a toy? 2) Will the Throttlebots appear in further issues of your comic? If you don't print this letter, my little brother will disintegrate you!
C. Burfitt,
Bournville,
Birmingham.
P.S. You should see what he did to Optimus Prime!

Fine! To your questions: 1) He was and he probably won't be – hang on, I forgot about the Action master range of Transformers, coming out this year – he's one of 'em. He originally appeared as a big, fully-transformable figure, but I don't think he's still available. 2) Dunno – but Goldbug's a Throttlebot, an' he's still around ...

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a few questions for you: 1) Who is the powerfullest Transformer? 2) Is there going to be an AtoZ on the Pretenders? 3) Who is the most intelligent Dinobot? 4) Who is the fastest Aerialbot? By the way – tell Hi-Test he's excellent, and please get rid of Action Force – I think it's boring.
Justin Pierre,
Bristol.
P.S. Please print my letter.

Wot – no threat? Now there's a change! To your questions: 1) A toughie – if I say who I think it is, lotsa you Humes write in an' slag me off. But I still think it's Galvatron. 2) Yep – eventually! 3) Swoop, I'd say. You thought I was going to say Grimmy, didn't you?! 4) Skydive – he's got a top speed of MACH 2.6.

Dreadwimp!
It's Grimlock here, and I just want to say – Isn't it stupid when readers start letters like that, pretending to be Transformers! Who are they trying to fool? You? Other readers? Or themselves? Perhaps they believe they really are Transformers? If this is the cast, I think they are in need of psychiatric help. Right – now that I've got that off my chest, I can go back to blasting Decepticons.
Optimus Prime,
The Ark.

Okay – Hi-test, you keep him talkin', I'll call the ambulance..!

Dear Dreadwind,
As it is obvious to me that your shoe size is bigger than your I.Q., it seems that I'll have to answer ol' Bonjy's question that appeared in issue 276 of the best comic out this side of the galaxy. It was question 5 – "Iggy". In Birds Of Prey, Miss Fatale is the same size as the Autobots. well, Bonjax Taachner, Decepticon scum, the answer to your question is that the Autobots that Miss Fatale was with were the Autobot Race Car Patrol – MICROMASTERS! I only have one question for you Dreadwind – and that's what is 1 + 1?
S. Frost,
Bude,
Cornwall.
P.S. Get an Autobot to take over, preferably Blaster or Perceptor?

Erm...is the answer 2? Sounds right. And, while we're on the subject, I'm not the only one that gets things wrong – they weren't Micromasters in Bird Of Prey. They were Headmasters – Hosehead, Nightbeat and Siren. That means they were the same size as the other Transformers, which means that Miss Fatale must've been about 30 feet tall. So yah, boo, sucks!

Dear Dreadwind and Hi-Trash,
How are you doing? I have a few questions for you: 1) How old are you? 2) Is Unicron available as a toy? 3) Will we see any more of Soundwave and Blurr? 4) Who is the strongest of you two? 5) Will the comic ever be in full colour? I would like to congratulate the artists on the covers of issues 269 & 270. If you print this letter, I might not use a JCB on you (just kidding)!
Rory John Williamson,
Castleford,
West Yorkshire.
P.S. Print this letter within two weeks or I will use a JCB on you!!

I used to know a JCB, y'know. We didn't hit it off, though – he used to shovel his food! Haw, haw! I kill me, I really do. To come back to reality for a moment: 1) Old enough! 2) Not at this moment he ain't. 3) Soundwave was in Secrets in issue 275, and he appears again in next week's story. As for Blurr, who knows, I certainly don't!

Dear Dreadwind and Hi-Test,
You're still my favourite 'Cons, but I'm writing to you regarding the apology in issue 276 about the mix-up in Collected Comics 16. Well, I for one would prefer that if those lost pages turn up the story should continue, if not start a new epic (but I would like to know what happened to Jazz in the evil Galvatron's web). Now to my questions: 1) What does Omega Supreme transform into? 2) Is Omega Supreme as tough and powerful as he leads us to believe? 3) If one may be so bold, what do you transform into?
Colin Harvey,
Moss Side,
Manchester.
P.S. There isn't anything wrong with the G.I. JOE strip, except it's too short!

No it isn't – if it was any longer, we'd have to drop Transformers pages. And we wouldn't want that, would we?! As to the Collected Comic...farce?...you will no doubt have noticed that No. 17 is now out. We've decided to run the Space Pirates saga. There's still no sign of the lost pages, and quite frankly I doubt if there ever will be. So it looks like C.C.16 will just have to go down in history as one of those 'hiccups'. If you still want to see the rest of the story, write in an' let me know. Maybe we'll run it after Space Pirates. To your questions, Hume: 1) Omega Supreme transforms into a tank and a rocket booster. 2) Oh, yeah! He's tougher than a block of triple-strength Durabyllium steel! 3) It's nice of One to show the interest! I transform into a jet (a Tornado, for the perfectionists out there!).

Dear Dreadwind,
As it is obvious to me that your shoe size is bigger than your I.Q., it seems that I'll have to answer ol' Bonjy's question that appeared in issue 276 of the best comic out this side of the galaxy. It was question 5 – "Iggy". In Birds Of Prey, Miss Fatale is the same size as the Autobots. well, Bonjax Taachner, Decepticon scum, the answer to your question is that the Autobots that Miss Fatale was with were the Autobot Race Car Patrol – MICROMASTERS! I only have one question for you Dreadwind – and that's what is 1 + 1?
S. Frost,
Bude,
Cornwall.
P.S. Get an Autobot to take over, preferably Blaster or Perceptor?

Erm...is the answer 2? Sounds right. And, while we're on the subject, I'm not the only one that gets things wrong – they weren't Micromasters in Bird Of Prey. They were Headmasters – Hosehead, Nightbeat and Siren. That means they were the same size as the other Transformers, which means that Miss Fatale must've been about 30 feet tall. So yah, boo, sucks!

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 276, David Futers told you he had 200 Transformers not including Nebulans. Well, I've got 275, including Omega Supreme. I have been collecting comics since issue 1. Now for my question: What was the name of the Decepticon who killed Impactor?
David Green,
Sheffield.
P.S. My collection is worth over £1200.

Anybody beat that? The 'Con that blew Impactor away was called Macabre – lucky stiff..!

Dear Dreadwind,
Listen very carefully – I shall say this only once! I am holding Hi-Test captive and, unless you do as I say, I will kill him. First, you will print this letter. Second, you will put Combat Colin in colour, as that is the main reason I buy Transformers. Lastly, you will step on Bros! Get it, Pea-Brain? May the force be with you!
Yoda.
And don't call me Hume!

I thought long and hard about this letter, but I decided to print it anyway. I'm that sorta guy, y'know? And Hi-Test makes a good draught excluder, so I thought "what the heck – give the kid a chance." So, Hu- sorry, Yoda – you're in print! There is one tiny problem, though – what's a Bros? Can I have me Hi-Test back, please?

Dear Dreadwind,
I'll get straight down to the point: In issue 265, on your very own page, some guy called Christopher Caudrey wrote in and said G.I. JOE is boring! G.I. JOE is the very best back-up strip. So I say Transformers/G.I. Joe is the best comic. I haven't missed an issue since issue 130. To my questions: 1) In issue 266, you said Galvatron was stronger than Metroplex, but when Metroplex was squashing Quintessons by the dozen, he definitely looked stronger than Galvatron. 2) I collect G.I. JOE figures, and I would like to know where-on-earth I can get Snake Eyes please. 3) I like the back and white, but couldn't you put Dread Tidings on a colour page, as it's very good? 4) How many times have we had a Transformers/G.I. Joe crossover story? I count two. 5) How many times has Goldbug died? If you don't print this letter, my stick-insects will eat your optical sensors!
Make Mine Marvel!
John McKay,
Roslin,
Midlothian.

There's a novel one – haven't heard that kinda threat before! You Humes're shapin' up nicely! Right – questions: 1) I still say Galvatron is strongest – seein' as how he and Megatron managed to wipe out most of the other Transformers! 2) Dunno – but you could write in with a swap, I s'pose. 3) We're savin' the colour for a special occasion – hint, hint! 4) Twice. 5) Ditto – sort of!

Dear Dready,
Hi there. In the hope of getting my letter printed, I will stretch the truth and say that this is the seventh time I've written to you. So print it (please)! Anyway, down to the real stuff. I am writing to you on behalf of thousands of Transformers fans about Andrew Dornan's letter (issue 278), in which he really put the AtoZ down. I would like him to know that the book in question, the Transformers Universe, is only possessed by around 5-10% of Transformers readers at the most. With the amount of new readers that the comic has had since the book was published, you need to print the files for those of us who A) couldn't get hold of a copy, and B) only found out about it too late to buy it! Also, he writes that you can just read the Tech-Specs on the back of the toys – who can afford every toy? And who has bought every one since the range started in 1984 and collected their Tech-Specs? So please, for the 90% or so of us who do not either have every toy or the book, please continue to print these, and I am really looking forward to the new series when this one reaches the end.
Andrew Steel,
Helperby,
York.
P.S. I was 15 the other day, and to prove I don't care what people say about me liking Transformers, I spent all my birthday money on the toys!

Good for you! And belated happy birthday felicitations! Your comments don't differ much from mine when I answered this Dornan Hume, so I guess we must be on the same wavelength. If you take a quick peek at the right-hand column on page 2, you'll find more news on the AtoZ front – and don't worry, they'll be carrying on. If I've got anything to do with it, they will!

Dear Dreadwind,
I am the mother of a Transformer-mad five year old. Could you please explain how to cope with the situation? He goes 'round the house thinking he is Megatron, then he changes to Galvatron or one of you, and sometimes I honestly think he will! He went to his school fete as yourself, and to make matters worse he actually won – which convinced him even more he is! Last week, my husband took him to a scrap yard to get some bits for the car – my little lad was going around checking all the cars with wires hanging out, convinced they were Autobots with – as he puts it – 'dead circuits'. Do I just ignore him, or do I book next years' holiday to Cybertron, because that's where he wants to go. All said and done though, he is our little Transformer Microbot, and we wouldn't swap him for the world – although I am not so sure that he wouldn't swap me or his dad for the Constructicons or Six Shot. Any ideas where we can get them?
Stevie Potts,
Wednesfield,
Wolverhampton.

Why should you want to change him? I can't think of a better role-model than me! I still have trouble picturin' a mini version of me, though – not so much a Dread-wind as a Dread-slight draught? Can't help you with the Constructicons or Six Shot – but your lad's got our address for the swapsies...

Dear Food,
Yes, it is us, your best friends. You will be pleased to hear that due to cosmic waves in space, our rocket has crashed. We are currently staying at the home of a fleshy being called Andrew Holmes. We were introduced to your comic and we all agree it is excellent. Very worthy of being read during meal-time! We recommend you answer these questions: 1) What has happened to this era's Ultra Magnus? He hasn't been featured for ages. 2) Are the U.K. and U.S. stories completely different, as in the U.S. strip Megatron, along with Ratchet, disappeared into the trans-dimensional portal (try saying that 10 times with a mouthful of circuits!). But Megatron is still featured in the U.K. strip! Please explain. Anyway, I must dash – dinner's ready. I do love Hot Rod this time of year!
Master Mouth,
Edinburgh.
P.S. I would hide if I was you, 'cos the Mecannibals are coming!

Gulp! If I promise to print this, you won't eat me will you? I'll even answer your questions properly: 1) He's still alive and kicking, but you can't have everything! 2) This will be resolved very soon – I've even had a sneak peek at the artwork for this story, 'cos it's being pencilled by Andy Wildman for the U.S. It'll knock your socks off! Look out for it around next January.

Dreadwind and Hi-Test,
I am one desperate being, for I am left devoid of my favourite comic, Transformers. Let me explain: I am an American citizen, and at one time I received the U.K. version of Transformers. But no longer! I cannot believe that Titan so bluntly dropped Transformers from their imports list! My last comic was issue 255. It was bad enough that I couldn't get hold of Annuals and Specials, but now I can't even get the weekly comic!! What British comic shops have against us American comic buyers is way beyond me!! If I sound angry, I am – and rightly so!!! Is there any chance at all that you could do a favour for a die-hard fan? Please find a decent, unbiased British comic shop that will provide me the U.K. Transformers, or at least get the Stubbies to offer a subscription!! I would be eternally grateful!!!!!!!!! Many thanks!! An American fan and a member of Transmasters, a Transformers fan club,
Liane "Tetra Reris" Elliot,
6202 34th Street NW,
Gig Harbour,
WA 98335,
U.S.A.
Please print my letter so that any interested parties may enquire about the Transmasters.

There you go, Hume – I printed it. So, all you lucky Transformers owners out there – can you lend a hand to a poor, Transformers-less U.S. cousin? I know a lot of you are interested in fan clubs relating to us higher lifeforms, but that's only natural. Maybe you could do each other a favour! In answer to some of your points, "Tetra Reris", I don't know what the problem is with the import bit, but I'm not prepared to get into any rangles about it – you have been warned! Mind you, if you can't get the comic, you won't know if this got printed...

Dear Dreadwind,
You wanted to know about the Five Faces of Darkness. Well, I can tell you. It is the first story in the American cartoon series, after the Movie. It is in five parts and tells the origin of the Quintessons. The series is being shown on the Cable TV network at the moment. I noticed a serious mistake in issue 278. The AtoZ featuring Starscream states he is an Autobot! I think the VVH should be got out, don't you?
Steven Mapes.
Ashford,
Middlesex.

I've seen your name somewhere before, Hume. Nice to see some regular letter writers, eh? Thanks for the info on the Five Faces of Darkness – I can rest easy now! While we're on the subject of inside info, I found out who the Pretender Monsters are! Their names are Icepick, Bristleback, Scowl, Wildfly, Birdbrain and Slog. They are, naturally enough, Decepticons, and will be appearing' in this very comic about the end of November – deadlines permittin'! And yes we all know about the Starscream debacle–sorry!

Dear Dreadwind,
The Transformers comic has improved greatly of late. The new look in issue 213 was very promising but, alas, in issue 215 there was a loss of colour. A massive shock! But now I have got over that and am beginning to sleep at night. Anyway, thank you very much for the Primal Scream and Matrix Quest: Bird Of Prey. An action-adventure classic, give Stubbies Senior and Furman my most heart-felt thanks. The Transformers and G.I. JOE crossover? Not bad. Good idea for a gap filler – it sure beats reprints! The story is a bit slow, I'm afraid, and (dare I say it?) a tiny bit boring. The plot appears to concentrate mainly around the American G.I. JOE. Is this because they are more popular in America? I believe so. Now – the ever-popular Death's Head graphic novel. Wow. At last! I've found out it is comprised of 64 pulsating pages of pulse-pounding performance, presenting a perfectly printed front cover brilliantly rendered by the unique Walt Simonson. Is this correct? I cannot contain myself until I find out. I have 207 Transformers, 275 British Transformers comics, 5 Annuals, 11 videos and as much merchandise as I can lay my hands on. And now ... the questions! 1) Will we be seeing Galvatron again, after Perchance To Dream? 2) Were those the Ghostbusters during Race With The Devil in issues 215-218? They were with Susan Hoffman. Have a closer look. That's it! So, until people stop writing 'Make Mine Marvel', Make Mine Marvel!
James Roberts,
Guernsey,
Channel Islands.

Well, Hume, a very concise letter there. I must admit I agree with you about the Transformers/G.I. JOE crossover bein' a bit boring, but I would say that G.I. JOE rates the same sort of popularity in the States as Transformers. On a par, so to speak. I'd like to know where you got the info on Death's Head – and it's all true! It's comin' out about the end of October. To answer your questions: 1) Wait 'n' see! 2) 'Course not! Heaven forbid!

Dear Dreadwind,
Print this letter or I'll set the Predacons on you! Right, now I want to make a complaint, ask questions and point out mistakes. First, the complaint. In issue 276, I didn't receive my free Transformers badge, so send me one, please? The questions: 1) I always thought there were six Constructicons. Is it five or six? 2) Who are the five Seacons, and what is the name of the robot they combine into? Lastly, the mistakes. They are all about the AtoZ. Streetwise first appeared in issue 64, not issue 105. Silverbolt, Slingshot and Skydive first appeared in issue 63, not issue 64. Sludge and Slingshot are not Autobots – and Starscream definitely isn't! Finally, Soundwave first appeared in issue 1, not issue 2.
Michael Billinghurst,
Spixworth,
Norwich.
P.S. Step on Hi-Test for me, will y'?

Certainly not! It'd leave a horrible stain on me boot. Sorry to hear of your non-receipt of the badge, but this will be rectified A.S.A.P.. To your questions: 1) There're six Constructicons: Mixmaster, Bonecrusher, Long Haul, Hook, Scrapper and Scavenger. 2) The Seacons are Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor and Snaptrap, and they combine to form Piranacon. And yes, I heard about Starscream...

Dear Dreadwind,
How come your little Nebulan companion never gets a mention in your part of the Transformers comic? And I would like to ask you a question: Have you ever been in a Transformers cartoon?
Caspar Dore,
London N19.

What little Nebulan? Oh, him! D'you know, I'd forgotten all about Hi-Test. I've been usin' him as a door wedge. I've never been in a cartoon, and if you've seen me in one then it must be a stand-in. Huh! If I ever did get into movies, I'd ask for a better office. You should see this place! And when you do complain, nothing gets done about it... mumble...mumble...

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a few questions to ask you. You'd better answer them or I'll send Grimlock to take over your post as master of the letter page – after Metroplex has finished! 1) As far as I know, the Pretenders, Metalhawk, Landmine, Cloudburst and Waverider were supposed to be human-sized until they became Transformers, so how come they were the same size as the Transformers in their human forms? 2) When will you become a Powermaster? 3) Is Scorponok still a Headmaster? 4) Why did Prime change his body in the American stories? I liked his old body better.
Sazril Murshid,
Kedah Darulman,
Malaysia.

Well, Hume, I don't usually respond to threats, but since you've gone to all the trouble of writing from Malaysia, I'll let you off – just this once, mind! To your questions: 1) I dunno about Metalhawk (never heard of 'im!), but the rest of 'em are all Transformers-sized. I think what's throwin' you off is that some of 'em have human shells, so it's natural to think they're human size. Wrong! 2) Er – I already am one! Hi-Test is my Powermaster... companion, for want of a better word! 3) Since he got his head back, yes (Highbrow pinched it, remember?). 4) 'Cos his old body was destroyed in issue 106. His memory was recorded on a computer disc and, after a while, implanted into the new body which was built by the Nebulans. A quick resume there!

Dear Dread Tidings,
I have been reading this comic for over four years. I hate to say this, but the standards of the comic have drastically dropped. Since the two 5 page stories began, it has left the writers with less effort to come out with quality storylines. My friends and I think that the good old ten page stories should come back. Half of them could be in colour and the rest in black and white. I think you should have a readers voting poll to see who wants the ten page stories back, and those that like the two five-page stories. One last thing: Since the Earthforce has come into the storyline, it has given you the chance to get rid of the future stories and also the latest Transformers. Bring back the more modern Transformers intermingled with the Classics, and put in a few future epics.
Owen Daly,
Clondalkin,
Dublin 22.
P.S. I once wrote in when Grimlock was in charge. Since you are obviously more intelligent, you'll publish this letter.

Since you put it like that, I will! I've gotta disagree with you on some of your points, though. First off, the 5 page format doesn't make it easier to write quality stories – in fact, it's a lot more difficult! You try gettin' everything into 5 pages! There wouldn't be any point in doin' a readers poll, 'cos I'm afraid there's no chance of the old 10 page stories comin' back – not original ones, anyway. It's all out of our hands. On a brighter note, there will be more future stories, and the newer Transformers will be makin' appearances now and again. Okay?

Dear Hi-Test,
I would like to know why-on-Cybertron don't you leave that old rust bucket and destroy his central processing unit with a hand blaster? I have just been reading the 4 Million Year Itch. Why is there not even one Stubbie mistake? Keep busting those Auto-buckets!
Ben Fox,
Stevenage,
Herts.

To answer your first point, it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it, and as for no Stubbie errors...? Well, nobody's perfect!

Dear (not so Dreadwind),
I have a few questions for you: 1) What is Sideswipe's gun, and what does it do? 2) What is Joyride's gun? 3) What is Grimlock's weakness and what is his gun? 4) What is Snarl's gun? Questions over, now to praise the comic. The black and white format is radical and the stories and artwork ahve gotten better and better, but one complaint – get yourself off the letters page and get Sunstreaker on!
Martin Henderson,
Co. Armagh,
N. Ireland.
P.S. Call me 'Hume' or 'fleshing' and you're dead meat!

Well, carbon-based life-form (got around you there!), you do seem to have an unhealthy interest in guns, but who am I to criticise? To answer your blood-thirsty questions: 1) After looking through the Who's Gun Is Who's guide, under the section 'guns that do some thing else apart from going bang' section, I can't find anything about Sideswipe's gun – but it does, in fact, go bang. Well, it's more like BANG! 2) Joyride's gun is a photon blaster, which freezes the molecular structure of its target. 3) Grimlock's weakness, apart from extreme stupidity, is arrogance. Plus a lack of speed. His gun is a twin-barrelled rocket launcher. 4) He ain't got one – he's got a sword!

Dear Dreadwind,
I recently picked up Transformers 280 to see what I was missing and WHAM! it hit me (no, not the comic!)! Transformers is still the greatest! I had previously collected numbers 1 to 153 and then stopped for some strange reason. Shame on me! But now I will never stop again. For those without a good memory, No. 153 was back when there were only two strips and that bucket-headed, pea-brained, Auto-splat, Dino-spurt had your page in a shambles. I have some questions: 1) Did you take over from the Dino-spurt, or was there someone in-between? 2) What issue did the take-over take place? 3) What issues did Wrecking Havoc and Dry Run take place in?
Derek Scanlon,
Dublin 12,
Eire.
P.S. Soundwave became leader of the Decepticons when he had the letters page, the Dino-spurt became leader of the Autobots during its reign of tyranny, so let's hear it for Dreadwind – leader of the Decepticons!

YAY! And why not? I never thought of that, Hume – I like it! Today, the letters page, tomorrow, Maccadam's ol' Oil House (in joke – ya hadda be there!)! To your questions: 1) I kicked the rust-bucket off this page – there wasn't anybody else! 2) 183 – and there was a special Robo-Capers explainin' it all, too! 3) Wrecking Havoc was in issues 172 and 173, and Dry Run was a one-parter in issue 189. O.K.?

Dear Dreadwind,
What's going on?! First of all Transformers that don't transform (huh?), secondly continuity no longer seems to matter – the Dinobots alive? – Megatron's back, even though future Americans stories involve their return. I buy both U.S. and U.K. Transformers comics and Megatron's just returned. And the return of the Dinobots affects the future drastically. Also: 1) When are we going to get some decent U.K. stories? These 1-parters are okay occasionally, but not every week. How about a few U.K. epics? 2) Every 100 issues or so, a new letter answerer takes over. Your turn must be nearly over though hope they don't get rid of you. You've been the funniest and most helpful letter answerer so far.
Richard Potter,
Cheltenham.
P.S. I won't threaten you, you're too cool to be worried by threats!

Well, I just had to print this one! It appealed to my ego. There's some news about continuity on the Transformation page, if you're interested. Where'd you get this stuff about replacing letter answerers every 100 issues? I'd like to see 'em try!

Dear (???) Dreadbin, I mean-wind,
I would print this letter if I were you, seeing as being friendly with Scorponok, I know that he'll use those claws of his on anyone I want. Anyway, I have some questions, and before you scream at me, yes I know they're eons late: 1) In Man In The Machine, Oppy talks about the Autobot injuries as if they were all from Starscream and not from Time Wars. Well, since the Underbase saga is before Time Wars, who is Fortress Maximus's head in Time Wars? 2) If my above figuring is correct, then how come Carnivac and Catilla don't have their Pretender shells in Time Wars, then do have them in Survivors? 3) Snarler wouldn't happen to have got his name from a certain Dinobot Stegosaurus, would he? So, until Arcee starts going out with Unicron, Make Mine Marvel!
Mark Cairns,
Ayr,
Scotland.
P.S. What happened to Pretenders Splashdown's and Sky High's A to Zs?
P.P.S. Stick a cork up Snarler's nostrils, will you?
P.P.P.S. Why don't Needlenose and Spinister have their Nebulan companions in stories like The Hunting Party and Where Wolf?

Why do you ask so many questions? 1) Another Witwicky? 2) Sorry to disappoint you, Hume, but at least one of 'em has his shell in Time Wars (check out ish 205, page 8, panel 3). Nope. It's just a case of great minds thinking alike. P.S. They're comin!' P.P.S. Certainly not! P.P.P.S. How do you know they haven't?

Dear Dreadwind,
I've some questions for you, so please could you answer them: 1) Why are you so brill? 2) Who created you? 3) Do you think Earth is a nice place? 4) Where is Trypticon at the moment? 5) What happens if your letter is printed and you don't like the small toy you receive? Please print this letter, or I'll write to Hi-Test.
David Martin,
Bidford-On-Avon,
Warwickshire.

Go ahead – see if I care! But, because I'm such a good guy, I'll answer your questions: 1) Pure skill. 2) Nobody – I just am. 3) About as nice as a dose of Scraplets. 4) As far away as possible. 5) What happens if I come 'round your house and tread on your head?!

Dear Dreadwind,
This is the third letter I have written to Transformers. I have written previously to Soundwave and Grimlock, but neither of them have printed my letters. I am one of the few people who have collected the comic since issue 1 and are still collecting. Looking back over my back issues, I have noticed a rather big mistake, one concerning Cybertron itself. In issue 166 or 167, Xaaron told the Wreckers that Megatron had built huge reactors in the centre of Cybertron. But in issue 254, in Primal Scream, Primus is the centre of Cybertron. Get yourself out of that one, Deadhead! I won't make any threats, but I've got my contacts, yes?!
Russell Edmonds,
Ealing,
London.

'One of the few'? I doubt that, Hume! As to your supposedly unsolveable problem: it's easy: Obviously, the reactors weren't built exactly in the middle of Cybertron, they were to the side a bit. Simple!

Dear Windbag and Hi-Toast,
Congratulations on your new Pretender recruits – and what excellent disguises they have! Who would think two major sex symbol soap star/singers were really Decepticon agents, sent to annihilate the Autobot Classic Heroes? well, Kylie Minogre and Jason Donatron certainly did their job, it seems. You see, my home is haunted, and my bedroom is inhabited by voodoos that tell me what happens. I discovered that I had been seduced into sticking framed photos of the two in question above my A.C.H. poster. Soon, the photos fell and tore Ironhide and Prowl, who drooped like a poster-er. Anyway, what else could I assume? Who next? New 'Cons on the block? MacConna? Michael JasCon? We will wait, see and be wary!
Victron (Codename: Vikash Shah0,
Kenton,
Middlesex.
P.S. Print this letter, or I'll have to inform Grundy TV and Stock/Aitken/Waterman of your deceit to the planet Earth in getting K & J employed by them!

Hey, Hi-Test – you got the number of those loony-detector people? We got us a live one here! Bit of a pain, though – I wonder if we can get Con Jovi...?

Dear Dreadwind,
I have been reading Transformers since issue 219, but have managed to get hold of some back issue, so I am pretty new to the scene. I like your letters page very much, having read Grimgrams your Dread Tidings page is definitely better. I know you must get fed up with answering questions, but you shouldn't be so clever, should you? I would like to ask you two questions, if you could spare a moment of your precious time, but if you're too busy answering questions from all those people who don't really like you but want a free Transformer, that's O.K.: 1) Could you tell me what vehicles and which parts of Devastator the Constructicons make? 2) As I am going to America in November, what Transformers are likely to be available over there and not here?
Ashley Ross,
Great Yarmouth ,
Norfolk .

What a nice letter! Crawlin' will get you anywhere. To your questions: 1) I know we've had this one before, but since you crawl so well, I'll answer it anyway! Devastator is made up of: Scavenger (vehicle mode: excavator, forms right arm), Bonecrusher (vehicle mode: bulldozer, forms left arm), Hook (vehicle mode: mobile crane, forms part of body), Long Haul (vehicle mode: tipper truck, forms other part of body), Mixmaster (vehicle mode: cement mixer truck, forms left leg) and Scrapper (vehicle mode: earthmover, forms right leg). Phew! 2) Tricky one, this. There may well be some of he older Transformers around (e.g. Swoop, Grimlock, Trypticon), but I couldn't say which. Not only that, but November's about the time the new toy ranges are announced, so there may well be hordes of new Transformers about, which we wouldn't see over here for a while.

Dear Dreadwind,
I think the comic is absolutely brill, but my firned and I dislike one thing in the utterly fab comic of yours – and that is you! We think you are the most boring Transformer of all, and reckon that the letters page should be taken over by an Autobot. Your answers to questions sent in by my fellow beings are about as exciting as watching paint dry! So what do you say to that? HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
Neal Kalita,
Pogmoor,
Barnsley.
P.S. Do you know there's a pop group called Primal Scream at No.26 in the charts?

No, I didn't.

Hiyah Dreadwind,
I am writing, among other things, to congratulate the Stubbies for the story in issue 276 called Bugged. It was ace! now for the criticism: In issue 278, the AtoZ states that Starscream is an Autobot. Those stupid Stubbies should get their facts right. Some questions now: Firstly, in issue 275 in the story Secrets, Shockwave blasted Megatron into the sea. Wouldn't a Transformer go rusty in salt water? Secondly, are there any more freebies coming up? The last one was approximately 8 weeks ago! I have written several times, and if you don't print this letter I will ask Unicron to sit on you. You have been warned!
Christopher Howden,
Burton-on-Trent,
Staffs.

Couldn't ya come up with a more original threat? Really! I know all about the Starscream debacle, and anybody else that sends in a letter about it will be terminated with extreme prejudice! Right – to the questions: Transformers don't rust that quickly, it takes a bit of time. In answer to your second, greed-ridden question, wait and see!

Dear Dreadwind,
Although I have collected Transformers for quite a long time this is the first time I have written to you. This is what I think of the stories so far: Transformers (U.S.) – I really enjoyed the G.I.Joe crossover, and Matrix Quest is coming along well. Transformers (Brit) – 4,000,000 Year Itch and Makin' Tracks were dead funny (what does ACU stand for?), and the present series is getting good. G.I.Joe – Cut And Freeze Dried was great, but Into The Breach was not so good. Don't get rid of G.I.JOE, though. The comic wouldn't be the same. Until Hi-Test beats up Unicron, Make Mine Marvel!
Joe Bishop,
Buxton,
Derbyshire.

Pretty succinct letter – doesn't really warrant any comment. So I won't bother! Oh,yeah – ACU stands for Automated Construction Unit.

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 282 a Hume called Ceri Taylor wrote asking if Jazz had ever been Prime's second-in-command. You said no, but in the Autobot's Who's Who in the second Transformers annual Prowl and Jazz are joint second-in-command. So there! Also in the following issue, C. Burfitt asked you about Shockwave as a toy. Well, I own him. He's as large as Galvatron and battery operated. Although he isn't available as a toy at the moment, there is at least one other company who sells an identical toy. One question – will the comic ever develop into longer 'epic' stories as in 'Target 2006'? And where or how is Unicron?
James Anderson,
Klondyke,
Northumberland.

So Jazz was a joint second in command in an obscure early Who's Who? Big deal. Should a 'con worry about such things? We're in the midst of The Matrix Quest right now. Is that 'epic' enough for you? As for Unicron – he's been popping his head up now and again – see next letter...

Dear Dreadwind,
Have you noticed the change in Optimus Prime recently? Remember in issue 210 when he jeopardised the entire Earth by diverting the Underbase towards it. In issue 253 he was all set to give up his leadership of the Autobots. Concerning Prime and Grimlock's fight in issue 263, I just didn't think the once majestic Autobot would lower himself to brawling with Grimlock. Believe me, upcoming U.S. stories get worse on the Prime front, dare I say surrender? To change subject, Simon Colby's A/W in issue 277 made a refreshing change, the Knifton/Eves combo goes from strength to strength, Staz is looking good, Jeff Anderson has good style and America's Jose Delbo is well ... different. Andy Wildman's U.S. work is the best he's ever done. Lastly the definitive Transformers Artist, Geoff Senior is still producing quality work. Following Matrix Quest, his next U.S. work will be the double sized 75th issue of the American title, concluding the Unicron saga (look out for it in these pages around 330 or so). To set the record straight concerning Galvatron's strength, he's the strongest in his size category, and Metroplex is the strongest in his, okay? Talking of Galvatron, the one seen in Perchance to Dream (in upcoming US stories) is from an alternate future, so there! Well that's all for now.
David Grew,
Linton,
Staffs.

Good letter. Your comments on the Prime persona are interesting. What price majesty, nowadays? Your upcoming info should prove useful to the confused Humes out there, not to mention wheting a few appetites.

Dear Dreadwind,
I'm not going to threaten you. You get enough threats. The comic is brilliant but why isn't there a Transformers Fan Club? My young brother buys the Beano and has joined their club, why can't we have one?
Paul Deveneney,
Killinchy,
Co Down.

The Beano! What a cheek! This is not the Beano, Hume. The only club you'll get from me is a club across the head! Beano indeed...

Dear Dreadwind,
I think Transformers is groovy, fab, hip and trendy and I've been getting it since issue 2. Please could you answer my questions: 1) What has happened to the Pretender shells of Jazz, Bumblebee, Grimlock and Starscream? 2) What are the Action Masters? 3) Why was the A-Z in issue 283 in black and white? 4) Is Galvatron a captive of the Autobots?
Simon Blunt,
Farnworth,
Lancs.

Groovy?! Your questions: 1) They're in storage. 2) The Action Masters are a new toy range and may be written into the comic at a future date. 3) Lots of complains about this one. We'll be reprinting it in full colour soon. 4) Which Galvatron would that be?

Dear Dreadwipe,
Listen, metal brain – you're dead metal. If you don't have this letter in the comic by Monday, I will crush your friend Hi-Crash. So do you agree, okay? Now to work, otherwise I will bash your metal brain. 1) What's your favourite colour?
Anon,
Gwent

Y'know, it's times like these that my surrendering of the letters page almost seems a blessing in disguise...

Dear Dreadwind and Hi-Pest,
Action Master update: Inferno, Jazz, Grimlock, Prowl, Shockwave, Snarl, Soundwave, Starscream, Axer, Banzai-Tron, Rollout, Treadshot and Skyfall are all Action Masters. Inferno's partner is Hydro-Pack who transforms from Inferno's backpack to his gun. Shockwave's partner is Fistfight who transforms from a monster to a gun. Banzai-Tron's partner is Razor-Sharp who transforms from his gun to a scorpion. Rollout's partner is Glitch who transforms from a monster to gun. Treadshot's partner is Catgut who transforms from a panther to a willing particle blaster. Prowl, Starscream and Axer don't have partners – they have vehicles that transform. Prowl has a turbo cycle, Starscream has a turbo jet and Axer has an off-road cycle.
Peter Hodgson,
Scunthorpe.

Hmmm ... let's hope that's the end of all the 'who/what are the Action Masters?' letters.

Dear Dreadwind,
I am a Terror Tip – a Decepticon sent to Earth by Megatron, a million years before any other Transformer, to try and use it's resources for the good of the Decepticons. I messed up bad. On landing, my space pad was destroyed by a volcanic eruption and I was buried in a mudslide. Millions of years later I was found by a school-going organism who is wasting my powers on pointless exercise given to him by an organism he calls a teacher. Much as I would like to vapourise them both with my high-energy molecular blaster, I cannot because the years in the mud have rusted by transforming circuits. I also suffer from constant colour change. I need you to destroy this teacher person with your thermal melters and get me some top quality oil for my joints. If you lack the brain circuitry to print my plea in your publication, well, my brother is a pencil working in the Death's head comic. Need I say more?
Travers Wood Wolfe,
Baltimore,
Co. Cork.

I think you've said enough as it is. I absolutely refuse to destroy a Hume. The oil is yours, and hey, seek help.

Dear Dreadwind,
I've written a poem about my favourite Transformer which just happens not to be you. If you can't work out who it is, you're dumber than I thought!

He's got three spikes coming from his head,
He flys around like SuperTed,
He transforms into a Particle Gun,
He blows people apart, it's kinda fun.

His worst enemy is Rodimus Prime,
He blows him apart in less than it takes time,
He rips him, tears off his Autobot sign,
All you can hear is Rod Prime's whine.

But finally he had to die,
When a big hole formed in the sky,
It sucked him up, tore him apart,
I know, that wasn't very smart.

But ––––––––– will never be dead,
His life has always hung by a thread,
He jumps up, blows everyone to bits,
Don't tell me that –––––––––'s the pits!

David Givatron,
Bicester,
Oxon.

Your poem is not bad, little Hume,
And I am sure you can assume,
I know the answer, know it well,
So why don't you just...

Dear Dreadwind,
I am writing to you on behalf of my son, so that you may warn other readers to be careful when using Stock or Comic Exchange. Recently he received a swap offer from what seemed like a nice boy from York. My son unsuspectingly posted off a parcel of eight Transformers with a list of the ones he wanted back. He received no reply. It has been two months now, and despite numerous letters we have never heard from this 'boy' since. Unfortunately, my son did not send his parcel by registed post, so we have no proof it was received. If you could perhaps warn other children to always send by registered post, I would be very grateful.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. J Dodd,
Ruabon,
Clwyd.

We were very sorry to hear about this dreadful incident. I hope all of you reading this letter will take heed and remember that if you choose to get involved in Stock or Comic Exchange, it is advisable to send your goods by registered post.

Dear Breakfast, Dinner and Tea,
Sorry I can't stop - Cookie's got the Darkwing smothered with Throttle - De-e-elicious! By the way: 1) Where do you get this human thing called a microwave? I'll try it on you! 2) How come you're still on the letters page? If you won't get off, I'll help you! Must dash - Elevenses - it's HiQ today, great!
Yours Chompingly,
Master Mouth
Chingford.

Hmmm ... You wouldn't be a plump Hume by any chance, would you? Your questions: 1) You know where to Come-t. 2) Beats me.

(Not so) Dear Deadhead,
You'll print this letter if you know what's good for you, because a certain Freelance Peacekeeping Agent and a bunch of mecannibals are staying with me. Now, I have some questions for you. 1) When will this years Annual be out? 2) Is Fortress Maximus really available over here? 3) Will the comic stay in full colour? 4) How about printing some of the very old stories (before issue 50)? 5) Will Matt and the Cat ever come back?
P. Thornton,
Southport .

Boring, predictable threat. However, your questions: 1) It's out now, a bit later than usual, but out never the less. 2) No. 3) The comic will stay in what we call fool colour - that is everything in colour except Combat Colin. 4) Not a bad idea, any particular favourites out there? 5) Give us a break!

Dear Dreadwind,
If you've been along to your local toyshop in the past few weeks you'll have noticed that Action Masters adorn the shelves. These are Transformers that don't transform! Utterly useless! What's wrong with Hasbro, run out of ideas?
Richard Tunstall,
Audenshaw,
Lancs.

Dear Dreadwind,
I would like to congratulate you on the Action Masters. I like the idea that only their vehicles transform and that you've brought out many old warriors. Hasbro have really hit tops with these!
C. Joannou,
Norbury,
London,

What can I say to that, Humes? As Sir Isaac Newton once said (though I don't think he was referring to this subject): Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So there!

Dear Dreadwind,
Could you please print this letter (crawl, crawl). There is just one point I would like to make (I don't ask questions 'cause I know everything about Transformers) – Your answers in the letters page don't match your fact file, you're supposed to be morose. Otherwise the comic is fab.
Ian Considine,
Mallow,
Co. Cork.

Morose is it? Look, perhaps I have been aggressive in the past, loud even, but let me tell you, Hume, now I am morose. My impending situation has made me more morose than I have ever been before in fact my mor has never been so osed. Now leave me alone.

Dear Dreadwind,
Back in 1987 I used to be an avid Action Force fan. I collected all the Action Force comics until issue 50 when it became a back-up story in Transformers. At that time I thought Transformers was rubbish so I decided not to collect the new combined comic. Recently I decided to buy a copy of your comic (issue 287) when I saw the G.I. Joe logo. To my surprise the comic was actually very good, even brill. I now get it every week. I have just one question. As I have not read the comic for over three years, I would like to know, who are you?
Robert Stride,
Wimborne,
Dorset.

Shame on you. Briefly, I am Dreadwind – Decepticon Powermaster from the planet Nebulon. Driven from my home planet by Autobot Powermasters and doomed to a nomadic existence. I am also keeper of the letters page and master of venomous prose.

Dear Dreadwind,
Hi and greetings from you greatest fan. I have been reading Transformers since I was 12. I'm now approaching my 15th birthday. I have to say it - the comic is simply second to none. I mean, all the effort that goes into it, it's simply the best reading around for today's generation of kids, and always will be for future generations. I would just like to say to all Transformer fans, you're wise to read it and carry on reading till you're 99 years old!
Frank Fischer,
Soundwell,
Bristol.

Yup, my kinda letter! I think you've hit the nail on the head there, Hume. Roll on issue 4668!

Dear Blaster,
Hopefully Dreadwind will be back in the junkyard where he belongs by the time you read this. Owen Daly was right when he said in issue 289 that the comic's standards have dropped, but it should start to get better now that there's a proper communications officer in charge. I have one question – Aspects of Evil part 4 says that Hot Rod gets held captive on Cybertron by Megatron in 1990, so how come Megatron seems to be spending the whole year either dead (if you go by American continuity) or on Earth (the British version). I can't really threaten you with the Mecannibals – you've never met them – so print this letter of I'll feed you to the Scraplets!
Andrew Dornan,
Stubbington,
Hants.

My Unicron – it's started already. Blaster, is it? Junkyard, is it? Let me tell you, they won't take me without a fight!

Dear Hi-Test,
What is it like having to work with a Camrbidge University graduate (Dreadwind, I mean)? Please answer the following questions: 1) What is limbo? 2) What is Underbase? 3) What has happened to Irwin Spoon?
James Beech,
Boston,
Lincolnshire.

Graduate? You-know-who would have trouble with the old 11-plus! Your questions: 1) It's a dance... no, seriously, limbo is 'an unknown intermediate place or condition between two extremes'. 2) The Underbase is a store of all knowledge, a kind of data base, from Cybertron – so powerful as to be almost sentient. Lost in space, it was discovered by Starscream (issue 208). Absorbing its power turned Starscream into a giant who wreaked havoc on Earth. Later, in an attempt to consolidate this new strength (issue 210), Starscream was destroyed when he overdosed on the said power. The base is still out there somewhere. 3) Irwin was last heard of working for a certain Mr. Murdoch in a void called Wapping. Goodbye everyone.

Dear Dreadwind,
In issue 294, David Grew said that Galvatron is the strongest Transformer in his size category. He is wrong. In an earlier issue of Transformers, a free booklet gave information on such matters. In the Strength category it is said that Grimlock is the strongest Transformer in his size category. Mr. Grew may have confused this with the Ruthlessness category in which Galvatron is indeed the most ruthless Transformer. A couple of questions: 1) How old are you? 2) How did Lord Thunderwing become a Lord?
Graham Prior,
Portsmouth,
Hampshire.

Galvatron pales in ruthlessness terms compared to my editor. Anyway, your questions: 1) Let's just say millions of years and leave it at that. Right now I feel old before my time. 2) I don't know but I assure you it had nothing to do with Buckingham Palace... and may I just add to the comments of my little friend above concerning the fate of Starscream – his remains were of course, rescued from the planet Earth by myself and Darkwing, taken to Cybertron where Megatron reactivated him to produce the new Pretender Classic Starscream. So there!

Dear Dreadwind,
I have a good idea. Why don't you make radio-controlled Transformers? They could talk, have eyes that shine bright red and have little bullets that shoot from their guns. Do this or Metroplex will stand on your head.
Luke,
London.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother, y'know? I mean, you work your fingers to the bone trying to make something of the mess of correspondence that arrives on this desk every day (and believe me, it's a task and a half) and just when you've got it down to a fine art they try to give you the heave-ho! Well let me tell you, I bow down to no man, no man! I am at this very moment barricading myself in the office. The doors and windows are sealed and I've got enough Energon and oil to last me a year at least. So come all ye Autobots and Humes alike – give it your best shot. I will go down tooth and claw! Do you hear me? Tooth and claw or nothing! Decepticons rule forever. By the power of Unicron, I defy you!