At a reunion of the Confederate Veterans at the Old Soldiers' Home for the Confederacy the moribund veterans were swapping stories and one of their most enthusiastic hearers was a hated yank, Bernard O'Keefe. When asked what he was up to ...See moreAt a reunion of the Confederate Veterans at the Old Soldiers' Home for the Confederacy the moribund veterans were swapping stories and one of their most enthusiastic hearers was a hated yank, Bernard O'Keefe. When asked what he was up to Barney explained why he was "assisting at the wake of the only nation that ever did him a good turn." It seems that some months before he had gone down to Panama to get in on the ground floor of the Panama Canal "irritation'' and contracted chagres fever. Doc Milliken was sent for and he appeared with a tomato can full of calomel and a saw. Doc, by the way, was an ex-reb to whom Yanks were "pizen," but his powders knocked the fever and he and Barney became friends. O'Keefe revolted with the straw hat crowd, was captured by the Colombians, court-martialed and sentenced to be shot. He bribed his captors to take him to the drunk and disorderly Consul, who brought him tobacco and banana fritters, but refused to bring the Atlantic squadron to his rescue. Finally O'Keefe sent for Doc Milliken and was told that his only hope was In the "grandest nation that ever existed, the Confederate States of America." Barney felt that all was lost if his only hope was in a government that is only remembered on Decoration Day, but he expressed a willingness to try Ku-Klux in place of Khaki, confessed a fondness for whiskey and 'possum, took the oath of allegiance to the Confederate States of America, and told Doc to get busy. Negotiations were opened between the two nations, with the result that a mysterious keg was brought to the Jail and Barney was bowed out. Bewildered, he asked Doc what it all meant and was told that he had better leave on the steamer sailing in the morning before experts passed on the twelve thousand dollars, Confederate money, that had secured his release. Written by
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