Jokes & Laughs

92 Pins
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23h
The Goat | Joke
Two guys were hiking in the woods and decided to have lunch at one of the picnic grounds along trail. They discovered a big hole at the edge of the picnic area and wondered how deep it was. So they decided to drop in a pebble and listen for it to hit b...
A warning to all you drivers at Christmas | Joke
Be careful about drunk driving as we are getting close to Christmas and police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good ...
Life | Joke
1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos -- you never know what's going to burn your butt. 2) I love deadlines. I especially like the "whooshing" sound they make as they go flying by. 3) Tell me what you need and I'll t...
Barbie | Joke
One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We ha...
Oranges | Joke
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour. They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the ...
Three ducks walk into a bar | Joke
Three ducks walk into a bar. “Hello, who are you?” the barman asks. The first duck replies, “I’m Huey.” “I bet you are,” says the barman. “And how’s your day been, Huey?” “Great, thanks. I’ve been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck w...
Hit and Run | Joke
A man has returned to his car after coming out of a local shopping centre and notices that his rear bumper is completely bashed in and the back half of his car is severely crushed. He goes to the front to see if there's any damage there and finds a not...
Amusement Park | Joke
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?" The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight g...
Therapy | Joke
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proc...
The Genie | Joke
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out...
The Irish Garda | Joke
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish Garda. He thinks that he is smarter than that Irish cop because he is a lawyer, from London, and is...
Frank Feldman | Joke
A man walks to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Passenger: “Who?”...
What Happened All Night? | Joke
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even...
Rich Girl | Joke
The daughter of a wealthy movie producer was asked at school to write a story about a poor family. Her essay began: “Once upon a time there was a poor family. The mother was...
I'm Thirsty | Joke
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”...