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Cool, Calm & Contentious
In this hilarious collection of personal essays, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals, among other things, the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and--voila --you're funny!
But in Cool, Calm & Contentious, Markoe also reveals something more: herself. This is by far her most personal, affecting collection yet--honest, unapologetic, often painful, but always shot through with the bracing, wicked sense of humor that has made her such a beloved and incisive observer of life, both human and canine. In Cool, Calm & Contentious, she goes there: from the anal-retentive father who once spent ten minutes lecturing Markoe's forty-year-old, Ph.D.-wielding brother on how to fold a napkin, to the eternally aggrieved mother who took pleasure in being unpleasant to waiters and spent most of her life, Markoe says, in "varying degrees of pissed off"; from the way she surrendered her virginity as a freshman in college (to her, it was "something to be gotten rid of quickly, then never discussed again, like body odor"), to why, later in life, she ultimately came to find dogs so much more appealing than humans, Markoe holds nothing back. It's all here, in all its messy, poignant glory, and told the way only Merril Markoe knows how--with honesty, wit, and bite.
Cool, Calm & Contentious offers something for everyone--fans of humorous essays, fans of memoir, fans of great writing and finely drawn characters, fans of dogs, fans of talking dogs, and fans of reading about mothers who are so difficult and demanding they actually make you feel good about your own life. But most of all, this book is for the many fans of Merrill Markoe, who will finally get a chance to learn what makes her tick--and what makes her so funny and wise.
But in Cool, Calm & Contentious, Markoe also reveals something more: herself. This is by far her most personal, affecting collection yet--honest, unapologetic, often painful, but always shot through with the bracing, wicked sense of humor that has made her such a beloved and incisive observer of life, both human and canine. In Cool, Calm & Contentious, she goes there: from the anal-retentive father who once spent ten minutes lecturing Markoe's forty-year-old, Ph.D.-wielding brother on how to fold a napkin, to the eternally aggrieved mother who took pleasure in being unpleasant to waiters and spent most of her life, Markoe says, in "varying degrees of pissed off"; from the way she surrendered her virginity as a freshman in college (to her, it was "something to be gotten rid of quickly, then never discussed again, like body odor"), to why, later in life, she ultimately came to find dogs so much more appealing than humans, Markoe holds nothing back. It's all here, in all its messy, poignant glory, and told the way only Merril Markoe knows how--with honesty, wit, and bite.
Cool, Calm & Contentious offers something for everyone--fans of humorous essays, fans of memoir, fans of great writing and finely drawn characters, fans of dogs, fans of talking dogs, and fans of reading about mothers who are so difficult and demanding they actually make you feel good about your own life. But most of all, this book is for the many fans of Merrill Markoe, who will finally get a chance to learn what makes her tick--and what makes her so funny and wise.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published November 1, 2011
About the author
Merrill Markoe
28 books146 followersAn author, a television writer and a sometime standup comedienne.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 221 reviews
July 26, 2012
The best analysis of what happens to people who grow up with crazy mothers I have ever read. It turns out the desire to rearrange grim facts into jokes develops in direct proportion to the humorlessness of the environment in which one is raised!
"You'll get unconditional love when you do something to deserve it"
"You'll get unconditional love when you do something to deserve it"
January 10, 2012
Some years ago I read Merrill Markoe's book "What the Dogs Have Taught Me." I remember it as being side-splittingly funny, so I was happy to see that she had a new one out. (turns out she's written a number of them, I guess Merrill and I haven't kept up.)
Merrill Markoe is a bitter woman. Let's just get this out there now. Each chapter is a story of its own, and I don't know if all of them were written for the book or for other things and compiled into the book. Whatever it is, it's a bit front-loaded on the bitter which makes you not want to spend much time (i.e. the rest of the book) with her. She's bitter at her (deceased) mother. She rants about how horrible mothers like hers have spawned a generation of bitter comedians. She's bitter at David Letterman, who she dated TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO and still can't drop this subject. She's bitter at her teenage self and shares diary entries to show us what a silly person she was. After awhile it's just uncomfortable. Yes, there are a few funny moments, but mostly this is one that will be going to the used book store.
Merrill Markoe is a bitter woman. Let's just get this out there now. Each chapter is a story of its own, and I don't know if all of them were written for the book or for other things and compiled into the book. Whatever it is, it's a bit front-loaded on the bitter which makes you not want to spend much time (i.e. the rest of the book) with her. She's bitter at her (deceased) mother. She rants about how horrible mothers like hers have spawned a generation of bitter comedians. She's bitter at David Letterman, who she dated TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO and still can't drop this subject. She's bitter at her teenage self and shares diary entries to show us what a silly person she was. After awhile it's just uncomfortable. Yes, there are a few funny moments, but mostly this is one that will be going to the used book store.
September 9, 2012
A palate-cleanser in between other things. Markoe is always sharp and funny, and I love how she writes about animals vs. humans. (Hint: she often likes animals better, and thinks they're smarter and funnier. I agree.) There's some sadness and anger under the humor, whether she's writing about men in her life, her narcissist mother, or the state of the world as run by smug, jowly white dudes. I get that. I also get her mixed responses to an all-lady whitewater rafting trip, with an emphasis on "female bonding." My own bleak and blasted heart recoils from such things, while at the same time recognizing that women pretty much rock and should be running the world, bonded or not. (Maybe just heavily insured against loss and theft.) Merrill Markoe is one of those people on my go-to list for the fictional perfect dinner party. She can sit between Don Cheadle and Penny Marshall. They can chat.
February 27, 2012
I dig Merrill Markoe. She's funny and and smart and a powerful female writer role model and she loves dogs. What more do I need? I wish we were friends. I would like to hang out with her.
The book was fun and funny and a pretty light and easy read. I quite a bit appreciated her opinions that in order to grow up funny you should have a crazy mommy, as well as her very astute insights into narcissists. I will say the section on her life in college/art school was a little weird because it's rolling along being funny and talking about the snooty starving artist art school guys and professors using their power (and the zeitgeist of the 60s) to pork young female students - which, okay, I suppose when you think about it is kind of sad anyway in a way if you take those things very seriously - and then suddenly she's telling a story about how some dude broke into her apartment in the middle of the night and she was raped. And I was like, haha, fat old gross skeevy artist, haha 60s men bad at sex, haha - WHAT?! Anyhow I suppose it's her way of trying not to have it take over/ruin her life, move on, etc. and also at this point it is well in her past, but still, it was kind of surprising how it was just slipped in there and I had to go back and read it and be like, WHAT?
Anyways. I love Merrill Markoe and I think we should have a doggy date and discuss our screwed up families together. Oh also, the chapter about Dave Letterman -- I mean Bobby -- was magnificent. The end.
The book was fun and funny and a pretty light and easy read. I quite a bit appreciated her opinions that in order to grow up funny you should have a crazy mommy, as well as her very astute insights into narcissists. I will say the section on her life in college/art school was a little weird because it's rolling along being funny and talking about the snooty starving artist art school guys and professors using their power (and the zeitgeist of the 60s) to pork young female students - which, okay, I suppose when you think about it is kind of sad anyway in a way if you take those things very seriously - and then suddenly she's telling a story about how some dude broke into her apartment in the middle of the night and she was raped. And I was like, haha, fat old gross skeevy artist, haha 60s men bad at sex, haha - WHAT?! Anyhow I suppose it's her way of trying not to have it take over/ruin her life, move on, etc. and also at this point it is well in her past, but still, it was kind of surprising how it was just slipped in there and I had to go back and read it and be like, WHAT?
Anyways. I love Merrill Markoe and I think we should have a doggy date and discuss our screwed up families together. Oh also, the chapter about Dave Letterman -- I mean Bobby -- was magnificent. The end.
May 19, 2016
I would give this book four stars if you took out all the essays about dogs. I love dogs, but come on! Enough already! The rest of the essays are great, especially the ones about Markoe's personal experiences. I think my favorite was "Medusa's Sister," which starts out as I wish this book weren't so uneven.
December 22, 2014
I wish I didn't relate to just about every word Merrill Markoe writes.
February 16, 2012
This book is a solid three and a half stars, an intelligently written book of essays I enjoyed. Having grown up with a critical parent, I can relate to the opening chapters about her mother. Having grown up with someone who had what I thought (for years!) to be 'abundant confidence', I enjoyed the chapter focusing on Narcissists. I had to laugh though, when it took me until three quarters through the 'Bobby'chapter to realize she was talking about her relationship with David Letterman (and the intern/blackmail scandal) The moment two-and-two clicked I said (aloud) 'Oooooh!' (as in 'I get it!') so loudly that I scared the cat. Can you imagine seeing old photos of you and your 80's boyfriend in the tabloids, while in line at the grocery store? Day-am! There is also an interesting chapter about celebrities and the new 'cheap fame', the sickening wave of non-talented people famous for NOTHING! (something that drives me nuts) wherein Merrill pinpoints it's roots, and I believe she's pretty accurate.
The book also reiterated something I've always known: I am a cat person. As much as I am tempted to adopt a pit bull after watching 'Pitbulls and Paroles', Merrill Markoe convinced me that a dog would drive me crazy with need, and that I prefer my pets to be aloof, discerning and independent. I completely understand her love for the dogs, but realize it would throw my rhythm off. (However, that slobbering, adoring love- and the desire to please is enviable, particularly now, as my cat is curled up like a cinnamon bun on my keyboard, and could care less that I have to keep lifting her tail to get to the a.s, and d!)
Merrill Markoe is a wise-ass, and she's smart and cynical. These are my people. Some people would describe her as 'quiet and mean' (thanks, Nurse Jackie!) but to me it says: I read, I think, and I don't fall for a lot of bullshit. I had my bff put this book on hold- knowing that she'll enjoy it- but as for anyone else: if you're looking for 'haha's' about shoes and dieting, this book isn't for you. Try some Jen Lancaster. I'm now going to go Merrill's blog, so I can bookmark it. She's someone with an opinion I value.
The book also reiterated something I've always known: I am a cat person. As much as I am tempted to adopt a pit bull after watching 'Pitbulls and Paroles', Merrill Markoe convinced me that a dog would drive me crazy with need, and that I prefer my pets to be aloof, discerning and independent. I completely understand her love for the dogs, but realize it would throw my rhythm off. (However, that slobbering, adoring love- and the desire to please is enviable, particularly now, as my cat is curled up like a cinnamon bun on my keyboard, and could care less that I have to keep lifting her tail to get to the a.s, and d!)
Merrill Markoe is a wise-ass, and she's smart and cynical. These are my people. Some people would describe her as 'quiet and mean' (thanks, Nurse Jackie!) but to me it says: I read, I think, and I don't fall for a lot of bullshit. I had my bff put this book on hold- knowing that she'll enjoy it- but as for anyone else: if you're looking for 'haha's' about shoes and dieting, this book isn't for you. Try some Jen Lancaster. I'm now going to go Merrill's blog, so I can bookmark it. She's someone with an opinion I value.
February 15, 2012
This book of essays has an addictive quality to it; I couldn't put it down until it was finished. Though I've never dated David Letterman (here, "Bobby"), attended any fetish conventions, or had any interfaces whatsoever with the Hollywood entertainment industry, I have become a writer and fan of black humor and dogs in response to my childhood and understanding of men and politics. So yes, I'm channeling Merrill Markoe.
This being MM, I knew there would be plenty of wacky female misadventures, funny pontifications on romance, dog stories, and career foibles. Check-check-check-check. There are also a lot of very personal writings about her parents, especially her larger-than-life, hypercritical mother, which will be very funny, sad, or shocking to readers, depending on their experiences of these kinds of persons (I know them well, so found Markoe's accounts both funny and sad). The almost matter-of-fact description of her sexual experiences as a young woman are what shocked me. As an Irish American, I'm afraid this is the kind of thing we usually keep the lid on. Still, I admire her for writing about her awful early sex life because it provides a case study of a young woman's coming of age in a culture that exploits her while telling her it's better to be nice--or cool--than stand up for herself.
But really, the best thing about this book for me was the piece about Markoe's white water rafting trip in Utah. Laugh-out-loud funny--several times. If not for the "talking stick" and portapotty, I might consider going there as well.
She's a very gifted comic writer. Even if some of these subjects aren't of the keenest interest to all readers, it should be hard to resist the allure of her fluent writing and comic insights. And if you love dogs, like me, she can do no wrong. Even her habit of giving her dogs the gift of speech is fine with me, given her profound understanding of the canine outlook.
This being MM, I knew there would be plenty of wacky female misadventures, funny pontifications on romance, dog stories, and career foibles. Check-check-check-check. There are also a lot of very personal writings about her parents, especially her larger-than-life, hypercritical mother, which will be very funny, sad, or shocking to readers, depending on their experiences of these kinds of persons (I know them well, so found Markoe's accounts both funny and sad). The almost matter-of-fact description of her sexual experiences as a young woman are what shocked me. As an Irish American, I'm afraid this is the kind of thing we usually keep the lid on. Still, I admire her for writing about her awful early sex life because it provides a case study of a young woman's coming of age in a culture that exploits her while telling her it's better to be nice--or cool--than stand up for herself.
But really, the best thing about this book for me was the piece about Markoe's white water rafting trip in Utah. Laugh-out-loud funny--several times. If not for the "talking stick" and portapotty, I might consider going there as well.
She's a very gifted comic writer. Even if some of these subjects aren't of the keenest interest to all readers, it should be hard to resist the allure of her fluent writing and comic insights. And if you love dogs, like me, she can do no wrong. Even her habit of giving her dogs the gift of speech is fine with me, given her profound understanding of the canine outlook.
June 25, 2012
Here's what happens with my book selections. I find a book I think I will like on Goodreads. If it's not available at the library I put myself on the hold list. At some point in the future I get a notice from the library saying that my book is available. By the time I get to the library, I don't even know what the book is going to be. It's feels like my birthday and I've surprised myself with a book gift! With this book, I completely forgot what kind of book it was but I knew that my old self did a lot of research and carefully selected it for me. From the cover, I thought it might be a famous chef's memoir because there were flames on the words. Although I was surprised that there was no mention of food in the book, I was happy with the read. Most of the essays were funny, interesting or both. Some essays were more interesting than others. When I got to the 2nd or 3rd dog story I finally remembered reading a review of this book that complained about there being too many stories about dogs. On that point I'll have to agree. It's clear that the author is a dog lover but for me, her dog stories just convinced me more than ever to never get a dog. Most interesting to me were her essays about her mother and teen years. If you enjoy reading well written, random essays like I do, then this book will not disappoint.
May 20, 2014
I had never heard of Merrill Markoe or read any of her books before, so this was a totally new experience for me.
I just finished a set of essays by Chelsea Handler and their styles are completely (!!!) different- Markoe's are far better written and with less swearing, but Handler's make me laugh out loud while Markoe's have me smiling every once in awhile.
I wasn't enjoying them much until Markoe laid the trauma hammer right into my unsuspecting brain with her essay about sleeping with her college professor (when she didn't want to) and being raped by an intruder the next night. Up until that point, I thought that this was just a harmless collection of childhood angst and dog humor. After that very personal and devastating essay, I was hooked because I realized that there was more to her story than endless complaining about forming a meaningful relationship with a man after the age of 30.
Her writing is very dark but intensely honest- almost as if Markoe is a gigantic magnifying mirror and real life is a bunch of blackheads on your nose. Read this if you can handle taking an unfiltered and unapologetic look at life. I didn't find the essays funny but they were real.
I just finished a set of essays by Chelsea Handler and their styles are completely (!!!) different- Markoe's are far better written and with less swearing, but Handler's make me laugh out loud while Markoe's have me smiling every once in awhile.
I wasn't enjoying them much until Markoe laid the trauma hammer right into my unsuspecting brain with her essay about sleeping with her college professor (when she didn't want to) and being raped by an intruder the next night. Up until that point, I thought that this was just a harmless collection of childhood angst and dog humor. After that very personal and devastating essay, I was hooked because I realized that there was more to her story than endless complaining about forming a meaningful relationship with a man after the age of 30.
Her writing is very dark but intensely honest- almost as if Markoe is a gigantic magnifying mirror and real life is a bunch of blackheads on your nose. Read this if you can handle taking an unfiltered and unapologetic look at life. I didn't find the essays funny but they were real.
June 14, 2012
The opening line is "For most of her life, my mother was varying degrees of pissed off," and the book just gets better from there. Brilliant essays and memoir from I think one of the under-appreciated comic forces of our time. This should be up there with the best of David Sedaris and "Bossypants." In fact, MM is kind of a grown-up Tina Fey and I mean that with love to both. A must read.
October 8, 2014
Forgive me, Ms. Markoe, but the entire time I read your book, I kept thinking of another book of essays written by a very funny person: Bossypants by Tina Fey. You see, you and Ms. Fey demonstrate how very funny – and diverse – female comediennes are (your greatest similarity might not be your gender but the fact that, when your essays are not funny, you both miss the mark in a big way). You and Ms. Fey don’t have much in common in your comedic styles, except that you both tap into humor in unique and insightful ways (oh, and I would be horribly intimidated meeting either of you, as you are both frighteningly intelligent and funny, which is a scary combination to someone who is usually only funny unintentionally).
I’ve never laughed more when reading about wildfires or pondering liberal guilt and environmental disasters, and while I perhaps didn’t appreciate your invisible friend on your white water rafting trip, I enjoyed reading a humorous take on female relationships that did not involve bitches, sluts, or PMS. So while I will admit that you are absolutely like that expensive bottle of wine I bought a few years ago that didn’t appeal to everyone, I'm now a fan and look forward to wading through your backlist. America needs more funny feminists. Highly recommended.
I’ve never laughed more when reading about wildfires or pondering liberal guilt and environmental disasters, and while I perhaps didn’t appreciate your invisible friend on your white water rafting trip, I enjoyed reading a humorous take on female relationships that did not involve bitches, sluts, or PMS. So while I will admit that you are absolutely like that expensive bottle of wine I bought a few years ago that didn’t appeal to everyone, I'm now a fan and look forward to wading through your backlist. America needs more funny feminists. Highly recommended.
January 25, 2015
One of the reviews for this book was written be Jon Stewart. Apparently, his support, his witty disposition, his fabulous hair, and my apparent shallow reasoning for book selection, led to me checking out Cool, Calm, and Contentious, by Merrill Markoe from the library site.
There are some very funny essays in this book. For some reason, I find it ESPECIALLY entertaining when Merrill Markoe writes from the point of view of her four dogs. I am not sure what that says about me, but there it is. I also enjoyed the essay on How to Spot an A-Hole, Rolling on a River, When I Was Jack Kerouac, and Medusa's Sister. Even though this book is classified as HUMOR, I found it to be primarily astute observations, tongue in cheek as they may be. I didn't give it my usual four stars because I found that it dragged in places. Markoe has a relatable, humorous voice. I would definitely read something else penned by her, especially if it was from one of her dog's perspectives...
There are some very funny essays in this book. For some reason, I find it ESPECIALLY entertaining when Merrill Markoe writes from the point of view of her four dogs. I am not sure what that says about me, but there it is. I also enjoyed the essay on How to Spot an A-Hole, Rolling on a River, When I Was Jack Kerouac, and Medusa's Sister. Even though this book is classified as HUMOR, I found it to be primarily astute observations, tongue in cheek as they may be. I didn't give it my usual four stars because I found that it dragged in places. Markoe has a relatable, humorous voice. I would definitely read something else penned by her, especially if it was from one of her dog's perspectives...
July 9, 2015
This book gave me the willies. Not because it was scary by any stretch of the imagination, but because every time I read a chapter I had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu. I had to keep checking to see if I had read this book already even though I've never read any Merril Markoe before. It was a strange and unexplained phenomena.
No déjà vu reading the dog essays though. I skipped over those. I get the appeal of dogs as pets, but dog people speaking in their dogs voice, well, that also gives me the willies.
No déjà vu reading the dog essays though. I skipped over those. I get the appeal of dogs as pets, but dog people speaking in their dogs voice, well, that also gives me the willies.
June 24, 2016
I was pained every few pages of the first three chapters as she described the hilarity of her mother. Then I read chapter five. Wow. My relationship with my grandmother sprang into sharp relief. Then I read this chapter to my wife, who immediately saw parallels to a majorly disappointing relationship in her own life. The rest of the book was a breezy read of delightful humor, other than the chapter on 'Bobby' (which was painfully honest) and the ridiculously apropos finale on the future of celebrity. A fun easy read with plenty of real life pathos. Great stuff. I ordered another book of hers.
May 21, 2015
Just couldn't get into this. Only gave it two essays.
November 24, 2019
Parts of it were interesting, but other parts did not hold my interest at all. It is a series of essays, some of which I enjoyed reading. Her stories of her mother and their relationship were sad and good reading, but I wasn't captivated by her dialogs with her dogs. I wasn't familiar with Ms Markoe's work prior to reading this book; maybe if you are a fan you'll enjoy it more.
November 23, 2015
Overall, kind of meh about this one. Parts of Merrill Markoe's memoir, Cool, Calm and Contentious, were very, very funny. The bits with her dogs, in particular, had me chuckling. l. She discusses all of the things that she allows her dogs to do -- wake her up at the crack of dawn to eat, hog every inch of the bed -- and asks us to imagine a human being exhibiting similar behavior.
Unfortunately, most of the rest of the book wasn't very good. I did enjoy her stories about her mother's narcissism -- how it affected her growing up, and how Merrill's realization of her mother's disorder allowed her to move past wanting a real relationship with the woman. It was well written, and speaks to a common mental disorder that really can destroy peoples' families. She then goes on, however, to list comedian after comedian who suffered from similar relatives. It reads less like a memoir, and more like a history of funny people with terrible mothers. Honestly, I don't need to read quotes from fifteen other comedians in your memoir, Merrill. Tell me something about you!
I had heard of Cool, Calm & Contentious originally when Markoe appeared on The Daily Show. She came off as very funny and bright, yet only some of that translated to her writing. Goodreads recommends another book of hers, What The Dogs Have Taught Me, with higher ratings. Since she originated the segment "Stupid Pet Tricks", maybe her writing remains strongest when discussing her relationship with animals.
Unfortunately, most of the rest of the book wasn't very good. I did enjoy her stories about her mother's narcissism -- how it affected her growing up, and how Merrill's realization of her mother's disorder allowed her to move past wanting a real relationship with the woman. It was well written, and speaks to a common mental disorder that really can destroy peoples' families. She then goes on, however, to list comedian after comedian who suffered from similar relatives. It reads less like a memoir, and more like a history of funny people with terrible mothers. Honestly, I don't need to read quotes from fifteen other comedians in your memoir, Merrill. Tell me something about you!
I had heard of Cool, Calm & Contentious originally when Markoe appeared on The Daily Show. She came off as very funny and bright, yet only some of that translated to her writing. Goodreads recommends another book of hers, What The Dogs Have Taught Me, with higher ratings. Since she originated the segment "Stupid Pet Tricks", maybe her writing remains strongest when discussing her relationship with animals.
July 22, 2014
This feels like a collection of essays rather than a straight-forward, purpose-built memoir, as there's no real throughline between the stories. Each chapter is a different episode in Markoe's life and thee are a few imagined conversations with her dogs. I remember enjoying her earlier book What the Dogs Have Taught Me , but that was more than 20 years ago and memories fade. Except Merrill's, apparently. She's still kind of pissed at her mom. But then, who isn't, really? Well, according to Merrill, every single comedian ever.
Which actually results in some very funny exchanges about moms and disappointments. As the joke goes, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother."
Unfortunately, it doesn't maintain this level of interest throughout. I found myself skimming certain chapters, despite the occasional clever quip or humorous observation. Ultimately there was less I liked than was disinterested in. The good bits weren't quite enough to carry it.
Which actually results in some very funny exchanges about moms and disappointments. As the joke goes, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother."
Unfortunately, it doesn't maintain this level of interest throughout. I found myself skimming certain chapters, despite the occasional clever quip or humorous observation. Ultimately there was less I liked than was disinterested in. The good bits weren't quite enough to carry it.
November 11, 2011
I won an advanced reader copy through Goodreads.
I have to admit that I am not a big nonfiction reader. I want a story. But the synopsis of Merrill Markoe’s Cool, Calm & Contentious it was described as “hilarious”. I could use some “hilarious” so I entered. If you like you humor dark, this book is for you.
I did find the essays well written. If I were giving out stars alone on that basis I would probably do a 4.5 (round up that’s a 5) but the stars definition is on how much I liked the book. I only thought it was okay.
Here is the thing; I kept reading thinking “oh that’s funny”, but not actually laughing. Would I laugh more if I had listened to an audio version? Was the “hilarious” an over sell and so I expected too much? I will give it the benefit of the doubt and say maybe. Maybe I would have liked it more if I liked talking dogs? I just don’t know.
Ms Markoe quotes Larry David, “Positive is not funny…When you speak in negative terms, the more negative, the funnier it is.” In that case this book hits the mark.
I have to admit that I am not a big nonfiction reader. I want a story. But the synopsis of Merrill Markoe’s Cool, Calm & Contentious it was described as “hilarious”. I could use some “hilarious” so I entered. If you like you humor dark, this book is for you.
I did find the essays well written. If I were giving out stars alone on that basis I would probably do a 4.5 (round up that’s a 5) but the stars definition is on how much I liked the book. I only thought it was okay.
Here is the thing; I kept reading thinking “oh that’s funny”, but not actually laughing. Would I laugh more if I had listened to an audio version? Was the “hilarious” an over sell and so I expected too much? I will give it the benefit of the doubt and say maybe. Maybe I would have liked it more if I liked talking dogs? I just don’t know.
Ms Markoe quotes Larry David, “Positive is not funny…When you speak in negative terms, the more negative, the funnier it is.” In that case this book hits the mark.
June 26, 2014
Overall a fun, funny read. Markoe is at her most successful when she's telling stories about specific experiences like being a wallflower at the S&M ball ("I could buy one of those mini nurse/go-go dancer uniforms just like the ones the Red Cross nurses all wore that time a hurricane hit a brothel and everyone had to take refuge in an S&M dungeon.") or being belittled by her narcissistic mother (“If I can’t criticize you, what are we supposed to talk about? The weather?”).
I was less fond of her pieces waxing on celebrity culture or imagining conversations with her dog, and myself slugging through the end. But overall it was a witty, charming collection, with great self-deprecating one-liners on her ambitions to achieve diary fame like Anne Frank (overlooking the Holocaust and Nazi bits) or dating Dave Letterman while she was on his staff ("Sure, you’d heard people say, 'Don’t shit where you eat,' but that never made sense because the way you saw it, every good restaurant has an excellent restroom.")
I was less fond of her pieces waxing on celebrity culture or imagining conversations with her dog, and myself slugging through the end. But overall it was a witty, charming collection, with great self-deprecating one-liners on her ambitions to achieve diary fame like Anne Frank (overlooking the Holocaust and Nazi bits) or dating Dave Letterman while she was on his staff ("Sure, you’d heard people say, 'Don’t shit where you eat,' but that never made sense because the way you saw it, every good restaurant has an excellent restroom.")
February 4, 2012
I, too, bought this based on her amusing interview with Jon Stewart, which made it sound like the entire book was about her relationship with her hilariously angry and unhappy mother, and how Merrill discovered her mom's extensive journals after the funeral. And indeed, the first couple of chapters were funny and poignant. And then: an entire chapter about her effing dogs. She's already written at LEAST two entire books about her effing dogs! Enough with the dogs already, Merrill! I skipped that chapter and read a couple more chapters that were mildly entertaining, and then: a bitter, unfunny essay about her relationship with someone she coyly calls "Bobby" who is obviously David Letterman. She's already written about THAT whole mess, too. Basically, her entire writing career is based on mutts and/or her famous former boyfriend FROM 25 YEARS AGO.
I was seriously pissed off, so I gave up and donated the book to the library. And then I felt bad for the library.
I was seriously pissed off, so I gave up and donated the book to the library. And then I felt bad for the library.
September 4, 2014
The first essay, about Markoe's mother, is the best one, but there are several really good ones throughout the rest of the collection ("Bobby," about her relationship with David Letterman, "Medusa's Sister," which is so sad while it's being funny, "But Enough About Me," with her narcissistic mother making an appearance again). A few duds ("Saturday Night with Hieronymous Bosch" and all the dog ones), but that's to be expected in an essay collection.
June 4, 2016
This is a book a humourous essays by someone who is known mainly as a screenwriter. Despite living for most of her life in California, she comes across like a native New Yorker – her voice reminds me of Fran Lebowitz. This was good to dip in and out of, because of the short essay format. Her topics include mature adult dating, attending Berkeley in the 60s, and her life with a house full of dogs.
July 11, 2014
I loved this book! It's a wonderful book for the dysfunctional neurotically self absorbed, especially if you have a highly critical mom and a canine co-dependance, with LOL moments and some unpretentious insight. Last last chapter is a Happy Holidays to everyone who is a dog lover. (And yes, Ch. 5, I thought it was me.)
March 17, 2012
Some of these essays were hilarious. The only ones that I didn't think were very funny were the ones about her dogs. People always think everyone else is going to find stories about their pets interesting and hilarious, but usually nobody except you thinks your pets are really that funny.
May 1, 2012
The essays about assholes, narcissists, and David Letterman were entertaining. The rest were just fine, but not particularly insightful. The ones (multiple!) where she has conversations with her dogs bumped it down a star.
January 14, 2013
I wanted to like this book more then I did. I think my expectations were much different then what the book delivered. I found parts to be funny and provide good advice, but overall, I don't think Markoe's writing connected with me.
April 27, 2014
How someone so unfunny could have been the head writer for the David Letterman show, I will never understand.
There were a couple of amusing moments, but overall she struck me as the kind of a person who could tell what should be a funny story in such a way as to result in only blank stares.
There were a couple of amusing moments, but overall she struck me as the kind of a person who could tell what should be a funny story in such a way as to result in only blank stares.
September 5, 2014
I know these essays are supposed to be wry and humorous, but reading them just gave me such a profound sense of sadness that I couldn't bear to read another word. Markoe just wants so badly to be loved that it is painful to witness.
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