Talk:Massachusetts/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:43, 8 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I was going to review this before its first GAN, but I was too late. I mainly focus on prose issues and should have this to you by tomorrow JAGUAR 19:43, 8 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

"and the 3rd most densely populated of the 50 United States" - how about just 50 states or something similar? Done
Per WP:LEADCITE, citations in the lead are discouraged unless it's citing controversial information. However given the complexity and broadness of this article, most of the citations in the lead are in fact appropriate (such as census figures etc). I thought that it wouldn't hurt to relocate a few ones

I just realised that this was mentioned in the previous GAR, so it's up to you if you want to cut back or not

I'm happy with the lead as is unless you have specific changes you link I should make.

It has improved greatly, thanks JAGUAR 21:44, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Massachusetts is an economic leader in life science, the finance industry, information technology, manufacturing, renewable energy, the defense industry, and maritime trade" - just in the US or worldwide? Fixed International.
"a major route for migratory waterfowl along the Atlantic coast" - might be worth renaming this to west coast? Fixed I assume you mean east?

I meant east but for some reason wrote west! Thanks JAGUAR 21:44, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"though surveying problems resulted in disputed territory until 1803–04" - this part needs a citation (if it is in the previous one, it should be moved here) Done
The last two paragraphs in the Demographics section could be merged in order to create a better flow Done
"Lowell is home to the second-largest Cambodian (Khmer) community in the nation" - of the nation Done
The list of bullet points in the Religion section goes against WP:MOS and would be better of being converted into a wiki-table, prose or maybe cut entirely? Fixed Moved in into the main paragraph.
Some WP:OVERLINK in the Regional services section Done
The first paragraph in the Roads section is largely unreferenced Fixed added ref
The International relations section is very short, should it be there? If it can't be expanded I would recommend merging it with something else Done merged to recent history
The bullet point list in the Education section goes against MOS and the GA criteria. It seems list-y, does it need to be there? Fixed restored section to the version I had a month ago
The Notes section is empty! Done A relic of a begone era

References

Ref 311 is dead (only one dead link of an article this size, impressive!) Done Update the rankings as well. You should have seen the article before I went after it about two thirds of the refs were dead, outdated, or unreliable.
According to the toolserver, a few refs are missing access dates but this is not going to affect the GA criteria. Done

On hold

Of all the states I have reviewed recently this has been by far the most well written and has a good chance of passing this GAN. Overall I found a few prose issues and some MOS concerns that included lists, but other than that this article is in good shape. If all of the above can be clarified then I'll promote this. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! JAGUAR 17:04, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: Thanks for the review! I believe I have addressed your concerns. Winner 42 Talk to me! 20:51, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Thank you for those swift responses, Winner 42! The article now meets the GA criteria, the prose is well written, the references all check out and all MOS issues have been dealt with. Well done on all the hard work you put into this - it is rare for an article of this scale and importance to be promoted. I've done a lot of reviews on this scale before but this is probably the first one that has passed with flying colours. JAGUAR 21:47, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]