Talk:Battle of the Bagradas River (240 BC)
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GA Review
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Battle of the Bagradas River (c. 240 BC)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 15:54, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Lead
- "and a camp guarding the only bridge over the lower the Bagradas River marched towards the" - Looks like there's an extra "the" in here
- You had me baffled there, but I think that Harrias has copy edited it.
- The aftermath section isn't really summarized in the lead
- Added.
- Battle
- Twice in the article you use the form River Bagradas, as opposed to several more than that for Bagradas River. I'd recommend consistency with naming here.
- Done, cus I like to make you happy. But why? Actually, Harrias has already standardised this.
- Link Balearic Islands
- Harrias.
- "Both armies are likely to have been composed of similar types and proportions of troops, except that the rebels lacked elephants." - Citation needed
- Deleted. (If I find the source again I will reinstate it and ping you.)
- No need to link Polybius twice
- Harrias?
- "As the cavalry and then the elephants came closer to the infantry Hasdrubal ordered each in turn to also wheel about to face the rebels" - And this is the first we hear of Hasdrubal in this article. We need a link and a brief introduction; I almost wonder if it would be better to mention him earlier and do the link/introduction there
- I had just been reading your review of Hasdrubal and typed his name instead of Hamilcar's. Corrected. All those H's!
- Aftermath
- "While Hanno manoeuvred against Matho to the north near Hippo" - I thought the spelling was Mathos
- The sources are split, and the one I was referring to at the time uses Matho. Sorry. Now standardised, courtesy of Harrias.
- In the lead you use the form north-east, while here you use the form south west. I think maybe it's best to stick with either the hyphenated form or the two word form.
- I don't hyphenate directions. But when using them, or any other words, as compound modifiers I am required by the rules of grammar to hyphenate them. I realise that it looks inconsistent, but blame the English language, not me.
- External links
- Is this empty section really necessary?
- No. Removed.
- Infobox
- Per MOS:SEASONS, don't use "Autumn" in this context. Also, I'm not seeing where the season is cited in the body, anyway.
- Done.
That's about it for the GA level, I think. Good work. Hog Farm Bacon 16:45, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks Hog Farm, I have done what bits Harrias has left me. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:34, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Passing. It must be confusing when you see a different revision than the one I did. Hog Farm Bacon 21:44, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Should the c. be in the article title, since it seems to reasonably sure that it was in 240 BC? I'd recommend thinking about this before listing this one at a higher level, as the more levels it goes through, the more of a mess repeated page moves makes. Learned that lesson from Landis's Missouri Battery, which I think I've moved four or five times. Hog Farm Bacon 21:47, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Hog Farm: not IMO, but I tend to pay even less attention to titles than to categories. I once had an article at FAC have its name changed twice during the process. I just cracked on, although I gather that the FAC coordinators weren't amused. I'll change this one now. Or you could have done - this is Wikipedia.
- And very many thanks for the speedy turnaround. Before I posted this one I was 2 points behind in the WikiCup. It's gonna be tight! Gog the Mild (talk) 22:15, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Should the c. be in the article title, since it seems to reasonably sure that it was in 240 BC? I'd recommend thinking about this before listing this one at a higher level, as the more levels it goes through, the more of a mess repeated page moves makes. Learned that lesson from Landis's Missouri Battery, which I think I've moved four or five times. Hog Farm Bacon 21:47, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Passing. It must be confusing when you see a different revision than the one I did. Hog Farm Bacon 21:44, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks Hog Farm, I have done what bits Harrias has left me. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:34, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
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